Everyone has their opinions, is the child better with his in laws or with himself?

Of course, it is to bring it yourself, what kind of parents bring out what kind of children, now education is very important, especially education from an early age, when you grow up, you can see the shadow of your parents from a person, and give your child the best way you think.

Since you know that letting the old man take care of the child's education is not good, you should keep him by your side, no matter how difficult it is, even if it is to hire a nanny. And children need father's love and mother's love, which is much more important than the love of grandparents.

The child is good with himself. The in-laws are easy to spoil the children, causing the children to be pampered, stretch out their hands for clothes, open their mouths for food, have a paranoid personality, irritable, self-righteousness, and so on. Once these bad problems have formed, it is very difficult to correct them.

I can bring it myself as much as possible, I haven't seen a few grandparents who don't dote on their grandchildren, and they can't teach their children well.

If you wait for the child to be older and you bring it yourself, the child will compare you with your grandparents and think that you are not good, which is not conducive to education.

It's best to bring it yourself, one is that the rural conditions are not very good, and then the intergenerational education will spoil the children, you can consider bringing your in-laws to live with you.

Let's bring your own.

You can bring your parents over.

Help with picking up and dropping off the kids.

But education has to come by itself.

To educate children, I am most afraid that the educators will have different views, they will be psychologically conflicted, and the contradiction is pressure, and when the pressure reaches a certain level, they will rebel.

If you keep it for the elderly, you won't be close to you in the future.

So, if you have the ability, you should bring it yourself.

It can not only be close to you, but also ensure the consistency of your child's education and reduce your child's stress.

It depends on how well it is for the child. It's not about being nice to anyone.

Of course, it's best to bring your own! Do you need to ask?

But in light of the actual situation, if you have to separate, then there is no way.

It's best to have your in-laws come to your current place to take care of the children, and you'll have the best of both worlds.

My parents-in-law treat my children, and I am drooling with envy and filial piety.

When the child is two or three years old, when he eats in the evening in the summer, everyone likes to move the table outside to eat, after eating, the show is staged, the grandson sits in the middle of the table, and the grandparents carry the table around the side of the field, just like sitting in a sedan chair, after parading once, and then carry the grandson home, every day.

One day, our grandson was asleep at dinner, and we ate, bathed, and slept as usual. In the middle of the night, the boy woke up from a good night's sleep, and when he opened his eyes, he seemed to have missed something important, and finally cried loudly.

I coaxed all kinds of things, but it was useless, and I cried hoarsely. There is no doubt that it alarmed the grandparents, and the four adults surrounded the little ancestor and wondered what was provoking him and making him so unhappy.

Or is Ye Tu Ling insightful and patted his thigh, did he not sit in the sedan chair tonight? Baby angry?

So, in the middle of the night, the table in the house was lifted, and the baby put it on the table, and immediately danced and paraded, and all diseases were eliminated, and everything was fine.

I asked my husband, do you have this treatment when you are young? Answer, dreaming, if you dare to do this, you will be beaten up.

Once my husband was only a few years old, my mother-in-law had to go to work, and my husband had to hold him from the house, get on the bicycle outside, and couldn't get up on the ground, so his mother locked the door and left, and a child of a few years old was directly locked at home for half a day. Do you care if your child is angry or not? It's all about whether the adults are in a good mood or not, okay?

When the child goes to kindergarten, we try our best to pick up and drop off by ourselves, one is that the spare time is allowed, and the other is that I am afraid that the grandparents will be too arrogant, but it is not good.

That time, it happened that my husband was on a business trip, and I happened to work overtime, so I asked the two old men to help pick up and drop off my grandson. It was a trivial matter, and the old man was happy for a long time, and after a while, he asked, why don't you work overtime? Everyone works overtime, why are you so idle at work?

When it comes to holidays, I take my grandson away, all kinds of nutritious meals to entertain, and my in-laws who don't like to cook actually study children's recipes and answer skillfully, what to eat to supplement the brain, what to eat to supplement calcium, what to eat is good for the eyes, a set.

My husband is sometimes jealous and says that he is eccentric, when he is young, he can't eat green vegetables, radishes, white rice, and meat dishes, and his in-laws explain that he was not poor at that time! At that time, eating was life, but now eating is cultivating talents, and the situation is different.

Fortunately, this grandson has not been raised as a giant baby, and he also knows how to be grateful, and he is very lucky.

Many prospective mothers-in-law say that it doesn't matter, and there are also in reality

This question is not to prove that it doesn't matter how many mothers-in-law there are, but to illustrate a causal relationship: many mothers-in-law have a strong sense of belonging to their husbands' family and are a community of interests with their fathers-in-law, so they also hope that their sons will inherit the lineage.

It is precisely because the old couple are a community of interests, so if the father-in-law needs to make money, then the job with the baby is the mother-in-law's

Based on this tacit understanding, many daughters-in-law ask their mother-in-law to take care of their children, which is not aimed at women, but thinks that it is a ...... for their mother-in-law to take care of childrenThis kind of thinking. In fact, it's all love. Men love their children more in terms of money - to create favorable conditions for their children.

I don't particularly agree with this point of view, because many elderly people don't want to live with their sons after they get married, and many elderly people around me are relatively open-minded, and their views are that they will not live with their sons unless they have to.

The first is that such a way of life is more liberal for both parties. We all know that the elderly have the lifestyle of the elderly, and the young have the lifestyle of the young, for example, the life of the elderly is more regular, three meals a day, go to bed early and get up early, young people like to stay up late, do not sleep at night, do not get up in the morning, and there is no regular meal. Out of consideration for the macro of life, the elderly prefer to have their own independent living space, and young people are not willing to be more controlled by the elderly, so they live separately, which is a way that everyone likes.

Second, the elderly are reluctant to live in the city. Nowadays, many young people in rural areas will choose to buy a house in the city and live the life of a city person. And the elderly are accustomed to their rural hometown, where they have lived for decades, growing some vegetables in the yard, raising some chickens, and living a self-sufficient life.

When we had nothing to do, we got together and chatted, and I felt very happy. When you come to the city, you are not familiar with the place, and you have to go far to buy food, let alone chat with familiar people.

Third, they will choose to live with young people for a while if they need to. When young people get married and have children of their own, they have to work and have no time to take care of their children, so they choose to let the elderly help take care of the children. At this time, they will be responsible for taking care of their grandchildren.

As the children and grandchildren grow up, especially after kindergarten, they no longer need to take care of them, and they will still choose to return to their hometown.

Therefore, I think it is more beneficial for my parents-in-law and my son to live separately, which can reduce a lot of conflicts and problems, and the relationship between the two parties is more harmonious and harmonious.

1. Cultural and traditional factors.

In Chinese culture, the family has always been a very important existence, and the family relationship is relatively close. Traditionally, filial piety to parents is everyone's responsibility and obligation, and the son has a more central role in the family and should assume the responsibility of taking care of the family. Therefore, many in-laws will default to living with their sons, believing that this is their only option in their old age.

Second, the psychology of the child who wants to raise but does not wait.

Many parents choose to live with their sons in order for their sons and daughters-in-law to take care of themselves. In this case, many parents may slowly lose their ability to live independently, and may even lose their sense of self-worth. However, parents often do not want to burden their sons, so they may give up their independent lives and choose to live with their sons.

In this way, parents will feel that they still have value and will not be a burden to their son.

3. Living with your son can reduce financial pressure.

With the development of society, the economic pressure is increasing, and financial support has become an important thing for parents. In such a situation, many parents will choose to live with their sons, so that Jane Pai Zhao can reduce the burden and financial pressure on life.

Fourth, interdependence.

In a person's life, the relationship of mutual dependence is very important. When parents are old and frail, they need to take care of and help each other, and sons are often the most important support system in this process. As a result, many parents think that living with their son can create a closer relationship.

In traditional Chinese culture, family is a very important concept. In this cultural context, the eldest son inherits the rights and responsibilities of his father, and is responsible for the care of his parents and the continuation of the family lineage. Therefore, in many families, the in-laws will acquiesce to the fact that the son wants to live with the son after marriage.

First of all, it may have something to do with the unequal status of men and women in ancient societies. Over the past few thousand years, there have been significant gender disparities in Chinese society. Men enjoy a higher social status and are given more responsibilities and obligations.

Therefore, in the traditional concept, the eldest son should bear the responsibility of taking care of his parents, while the daughter needs to marry away from home.

Second, it may also be related to real-world economic conditions. In the past, when the level of rural economic development was low, many rural families relied only on farming or part-time work to make ends meet. When the pension system is not fully established, the elderly usually rely on their children to support their old age.

Therefore, in such a situation, the in-laws naturally hope to be able to live with their son and share the pressure of life together.

In addition, socio-cultural traditions are also an important factor. In Chinese families, sons are often seen as important people responsible for the continuation of the family lineage and family honor. This concept is deeply rooted in the hearts of Chinese and has influenced the thinking of many in-laws.

However, in today's context of improving socio-economic conditions and higher education levels, more and more young people are choosing to live independently or work in other cities away from their parents. Therefore, for those in-laws who wish to live with their sons, it may be necessary to reconsider their expectations and adjust accordingly.

In short, in traditional Chinese culture, men have a higher status, and the eldest son has the responsibility of taking care of his parents and continuing the family lineage. This makes many in-laws default to their son's desire to live with him after marriage. However, with the changes of the times and the progress of society, this perception has gradually changed.

We should respect everyone's choices, as well as equality and respect between family members.

There are three criteria that must be met to determine what you bring.

First, the husband can make a lot of money, and the old man has his own income.

To be able to completely give up work, devote yourself to the family, and be a full-time housewife, you also need to have the basic material life, the children's poverty and luxury, their own daily life expenses, all are great expenses, one less person to work, one less income, therefore, the husband's work needs to be able to take care of the cost of a family of three, and the elderly have their own income, not to increase the burden on their children.

2. Energetic and patient.

Taking care of children also requires a lot of energy, children's daily life, children's education hot issues when they grow up, each of which is a problem that parents should be entangled in, children should be the most energetic to take care of when they are children, although they eat and sleep at the beginning of the day, sleep and eat, but the education problems are one after another, they must deal with it, they must have energy. When the child grows up, he is naughty and disobedient, and he does not guide the child carefully and correctly, but he is afraid that the child will take the "crooked road".

3. Couples can tolerate each other.

At the work of the father, the mother takes the baby, which must be tolerated with each other, and you also need to be able to empathize. Many fathers feel that the mother is at home with the child, how tired can be, they are tired from a day of work, and they need to listen to their wife's chatter when they go home, they are the most tired one, in fact, taking the child is not easier than going to work, the child is crying and making trouble, breastfeeding, making baby food, and more urgently, you clean up the housework in front, and the child will begin to be naughty and disobedient.

For in-laws to take care of children, standards must generally be met.

1. The physical and mental health of the in-laws.

If you want the elderly to take care of their children, they need the elderly to have a healthy body, so that they can withstand the blind toss of children.

Second, the in-laws want to give up their comfortable and comfortable life.

Nowadays, in the post-90s family, after marriage, parents may be 50 years old, but now the legal retirement age continues to rise, the vast majority of parents are working, or they are working after retirement, if they want their in-laws to take care of their children, they want to give up their comfortable and comfortable life, but under normal circumstances, they are still willing, but there are some in-laws who uphold the idea of "bringing their own children".

I think it's best to bring the child by yourself; If you really lack skills, you can choose to give it to your in-laws to bring, if the other party's level of knowledge is relatively high, you can also hand it over to the other party to bring, if you have leisure, you have to choose to take the child by yourself.