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I feel like this is a long-term problem, not something that can be discerned in a moment.
From your narrative, I don't think it's that you need to distinguish between good and bad friends, it's that you can't find friends at all, which makes you feel lonely inside.
In fact, this is really a very normal thing, just like when you just arrive at a new school, a new unit, you will face such problems. I'll briefly state my thoughts: (although I haven't been abroad).
First of all, take your mind at ease and don't focus on it entirely, you will be sensitive to everything if you care too much.
Secondly, when interacting with the people around you, be sure to take the initiative (even if you are often ignored and cheeky), and always keep a smile when talking to the other person, sincerely! (Despite feeling silly and stiff face).
Also, show your true side and don't bring a sense of distance to others.
Actually, these are all my own opinions, and I adjust myself in this way every time I go to a new environment. But while doing the above things, you must pay attention to the most important thing: maintain your own principles and bottom line.
Don't touch on the interests of others, but don't let anyone get involved in your interests. As long as you think that you are enthusiastic enough about them, if the other person is still cold to you, then you don't have to pay attention to him, and you have to have your own dignity.
I'm just going to talk about my own opinion, and you can see what other good suggestions others have!
Finally, I hope you have a happy life and win glory for our people!
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First of all, I personally envy you to go abroad, and I hope you can work hard to fight for us Chinese!
For your troubles, I want to say that after all, you have just arrived in the United States, it is inevitable that you are more or less uncomfortable, I suggest that you "follow the customs" like a Chinese proverb, after all, you are abroad, there are many things and our country is very different from each other in life and culture, don't care what others think of you, how others treat you, as long as you do things with a clear conscience, you can be happy! You should be a scholar to adapt slowly, learn from others' strengths and not make up for your own shortcomings!
And you said that you have to make true friends, and real true friends are accumulated bit by bit!
Finally, I really hope that you, a friend who is abroad, can get rid of your troubles as soon as possible and live a happy life! If you have a chance, let's see you on the Internet, my QQ number 22401308
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Let go of yourself, nothing.
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Wow! In a foreign country! Have fun! When you're tired, come back! Don't be an American!
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The United States is a place that emphasizes individual heroism, first of all, you must have the ability and the ability to do it; Secondly, you have to maintain a balanced mindset and don't worry too much about whether others are good to you or not, because no one is obligated to be good to you; Third, make your life richer. Fourth, be proactive in communicating with others.
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As long as you treat others sincerely, pay attention to the way you speak, have humor, let go a little, and have nothing, in fact, sometimes don't care too much about other people's eyes.
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That's it. Why do you have to be friends with them?
As long as you don't hate each other, it's fine. Just go on and on. Until you succeed in your studies.
Cao Xueqin said: Ten thousand taels ** is easy to get, but it is difficult to find a confidant! If bosom friends were so easy to get, Taoyuan's three knots would not be famous through the ages.
Settle down and learn. Continue to wait for the gentleman's acquaintance.
If you are upright and soft-hearted (kind-hearted) as you say. Then there will be people of the same kind who will find you. Hehe.
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A good friend who has always been a good friend, if you suddenly find that she is no longer sincere, it means that there are some problems between you, in fact, you should consider why she is no longer sincere to you, is it your reason, or she has changed. Since you are friends, then you must be able to talk about a piece, the personality is roughly similar, if you are reluctant to this friend, want to be a good friend all the time, it is recommended that you have time to euphemistically talk about this problem, if you feel that she deceives you too much, and when you pretend to be stupid, I think you can keep your distance from her, open one eye and close one eye, and stay away from her as much as possible.
If two people can't even be sincere together, what kind of friends are they doing. can only list him as an ordinary relationship.
When I make friends with others, the most important thing is whether this person is sincere to me, which is the foundation. We can have very different personalities, or we can have slightly different views, but we can't bear his insincerity.
I used to offend my friends like this. I work for a company with a friend. A new colleague saw that I had a good relationship with my friend and asked us about our family situation.
First I asked me, then I asked my friend, and when I asked my friend what his wife was doing, I said, how many wives do you ask? The new colleague was surprised, he was divorced? Married?
There were a few colleagues around. Suddenly, I realized that I had said something I shouldn't have said. Because I was the only one in the company who knew that my friend was married for the second time.
I hurriedly warned those colleagues not to speak out, or my friends would hate me. Also, did a friend do something sorry for us, and we can no longer see his sincerity?
Since then, I haven't bothered to pay attention to him, and although we meet at work, it's a friendly nod. Now he has sold his house because of loan sharking, and his people are gone. Often, people can only see what is wrong with others and cannot see their own shortcomings.
The most important thing for people to get along with each other is to compare hearts to hearts, but things can't be done, so don't disturb each other. That way, it won't add to the troubles.
There are many "routines" for friends to socialize. But be honest with each other. It's our fault, we change. It is the fault of a friend, and we can forgive it, but we must not indulge. Only in this way can friends go further!
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I think you should choose to stay away from each other immediately, because such friends are not worthy of our deep friendship, so we should stop losses in time.
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Stay away immediately. There is no point in continuing to get along, and sometimes it can even hurt you.
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I'm going to keep a certain distance from him from now on, just treat him as a regular friend. In this way, the relationship will not be stiffened, and the heart will gradually be balanced.
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When we find that the other party is not sincere to us, then we don't need to take the other person to heart, as long as the surface work is done.
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The most important thing between friends is sincerity, if I find that it is not sincere, I will definitely take the initiative to leave, there is no need to get along anymore.
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I will definitely choose to leave him, because such a friend is very unworthy of my sincerity to treat him again, and with the appearance of such a friend, I will definitely try to stay away from him.
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At this time, I will slowly distance myself from this friend, because the other party is not sincere to me, so there is no need to get along with him.
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When judging whether the friends around you are sincere, you can pay attention to the following points:
1.Observe their behavior: A true friend will lend a hand and give you support and help when you need it. If you find yourself in a constant state of caring for others and lacking substantial mutual support, then it is possible that your friends are not genuinely caring for you.
2.Pay attention to how they communicate: A true friend listens to your thoughts and feelings and shares their own experiences and feelings. If your friends are always busy with their own things or don't care about your life and feelings, then they probably aren't genuinely interested in you.
3.Observe their actions: A true friend will give you substantial help when you need it, such as helping you move, accompanying you to the hospital, etc. If your friend only pays lip service to you but doesn't take any action, then they probably don't mean it to you.
4.Pay attention to their criticisms of you: True friends will give you honest and constructive criticism to help you grow and improve.
If your friends always shy away from your mistakes or shortcomings, or criticize you without offering any solutions, then they probably don't mean anything about you.
In general, judging whether the friends around you are sincere or not requires a lot of observation and analysis. If you find that your friends don't really care about and support you, then you can consider keeping your distance from them or finding other real friends to fill your social needs.
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It is said that there is no eternal friendship between friends, only eternal interests. When you're no longer of any use to him, he'll kick you away without hesitation. If your so-called old friends are such people, they will always only pursue interests and ignore feelings.
Then, he can't be considered a true friend, let alone share your weal and woe.
Someone who has stood the test of time and is worth cherishing will stay with you forever. And those hypocritical friends will eventually drift away from you.
People's minds are not so easy to understand, so they can only see clearly with the help of external conditions. What can be seen clearly in an instant is not only the essence of things, but also the "true face" of a person.
And the people who are very enthusiastic about you, talk to you every day, and hang out with you from time to time. In your heart, you are the so-called true friend. You will be reluctant to share your thoughts with him, talk about your ideals with him, and look forward to the future with him.
No matter what it is, you are willing to tell him unreservedly, and you are willing to listen to his joys and sorrows.
I once thought it was a long-lasting friendship, but in the end it was an illusory bubble that burst as soon as I poked.
There are a lot of people who might say that we are not tolerant enough or something, but I would say that we can be tolerant, but definitely not indulgent. We will inevitably encounter this kind of person in our lives, and when we can't be the so-called tolerant and generous, what we can do is to protect ourselves well and not be hurt.
It's good for us to be ourselves, make friends who should make friends, this type of person will slowly show his fox tail, and everyone will slowly notice it, will slowly see him clearly, when others say that you are not tolerant enough or something, we don't have to refute, time will tell. If we can't be tolerant, we can only accept it from afar.
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To judge whether a friend is sincere to you, you need to consider many aspects, including the relationship between each other, behavior, verbal expression, and so on. Here are some signs that a friend is genuinely treating them:
1 Respect each other's independence: True friends will not try to control or interfere in each other's lives and decisions. They respect each other's individuality and independence and want each other to grow and develop in their own way.
2.Honesty and candor: A true friend is frank and honest and does not hide or disguise his feelings or actions. They will tell you directly what they think and feel, rather than trying to hide or deceive you.
3.Care and care: A true friend will care and take care of you, including aspects such as your health, well-being, and finances. They will greet you on how you are doing, offer help and support, and lend a helping hand when you need it.
4.Support each other: True friends support and encourage each other to help you overcome difficulties and challenges. They are willing to provide support and guidance as you grow and develop your goals.
5.Gratitude and appreciation: A true friend will appreciate and appreciate your growth and progress and feel that you deserve their support and attention. They will express praise and gratitude and motivate you to keep going.
It is not easy to judge whether a friend is sincere to himself, and it needs to be observed and spent on for a long time. However, by respecting each other's independence, honesty and frankness, care and care, mutual support, and gratitude and appreciation, it is possible to roughly infer whether a friend is sincere to himself.
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