How can I educate my child who is addicted to online games and doesn t want to go to school anymore?

Truth be told, when a child is over 12 years old, the influence of parents decreases dramatically. So we sometimes say that our parents seem to be with their children for a lifetime, but in fact, the real children don't give us a lot of time to grow up with him, this time may be 8 years, it may be 10 years, at most it is not more than 12 years. If before the age of 12, you do not give the child the personality and character he needs, and do not form a good parent-child relationship, after the age of 12, you spend 10 times and 100 times the effort, and the problems that can actually be solved are very few.

Children in the third year of junior high school are addicted to online games, and the first thing to know is what the child has gained in the game. In fact, many parents will ask, what is in the game? It will make the children look like this, what do the children get from the game?

It's definitely not just about fun. In fact, in the design of the game, there is a lot of psychological knowledge. <>

First of all, the game is given to the child is timely feedback, after a level is played, the child will immediately get appreciation and affirmation, which is one of the necessary psychological nutrition for children in the process of growth, praise, appreciation, affirmation. But in real life, parents often focus on their children's shortcomings, but often ignore their children's efforts and good work.

Second, in many games, there will be identity settings, will continue to upgrade and promote, the reason why the game makes so many children addicted, is because, the game meets a child from all aspects, mainly in the family, in the school, there is no sense of security, belonging, sense of value these things. And if he can't get it in real life, he will grab it through the virtual world.

Therefore, all the best comes from the lack of psychological nutrition of children. All of these behaviors are due to the lack of psychological nutrition in children. In such a performance, the child is actually telling his parents with actions that my inner world is very lacking in love, and my inner world is very lacking in praise and affirmation of these psychological nutrients.

Then this child, in the current state, in addition to supplementing the child with enough psychological nutrition, parents should give him a dream. Help him find meaning in his efforts. The meaning of reading.

Don't really educate anymore. No matter how much education is useful. He can only be guided by dreams.

I believe that every child has his or her own dream, no matter how unreliable the dream is, support him, and believe that the child can achieve it, help him set goals, and help him achieve it.

I'm my mother, Zitong.

1. Find out the reasons behind your child's addiction to online games

Often, children love online games because they can't find a sense of belonging and value in the real world. Parents can communicate with their children on an equal footing and respect, and find out the real thoughts behind their children's addiction to the virtual world.

Everyone needs a sense of belonging and worth, and children are no exception.

"Belonging" is that I feel like I belong to this community, that the people here love me, and that I love the people here. "Sense of value" is that I can contribute to the collective, and the collective needs me. If your child can't find a sense of belonging and worth in the real world (especially at school), go back to the virtual world to find it.

For example, because children are struggling to study and have poor grades, they are not treated well by teachers in school and are not popular with their classmates. If a child plays well online and can call the wind and rain in the game, the child will naturally want to play online games instead of learning.

For example, parents are usually busy with work, overtime, socializing, and business trips, and the time spent with their children is very short. Children don't feel the affection and warmth of their parents. And if you meet a lot of friends who care about you in the game, you will chase the warmth in the game.

2. Parents accompany them attentively

When parents can make their children feel a sense of belonging in reality, children will not go to the virtual world to pursue it. Parents should arrange "special hours" with their children every week to give them full time at a fixed time.

3. Provide children with entertainment methods other than online games

The child is tired from studying and needs to rest. If parents can provide their children with green, healthy, real-world entertainment, children will also reduce their dependence on online games. For example, children's favorite sports, parent-child board games, and extreme hand sports (Rubik's Cube, Quick Stacking Cup, etc.).

From my point of view as a child, you should communicate calmly with your child to find out whether the child goes to an Internet café to play games because he doesn't want to study, or because he is addicted to playing games in an Internet café and doesn't want to study.

If it is because the child is not interested in learning, then it is useless to stay in school just to mix up a degree, he is just under your pressure and does not want to go against your will and spend all day in school, like this you should follow the child, understand what the child wants to do if he does not study, ask him if he has any industry in his heart, and then let him go to learn a trade.

But if it's the latter, the child has delayed his studies due to playing games, at this age you must not be able to use violent means to stop it, the more you hit him, the more rebellious he will be, and the more often you say it, the more disgusted he will be, so you have to do the following:

The first point is to communicate well with the school teachers. Children's education is not only related to parents but also to teachers, and families and schools should cooperate to discipline children well. Explain the child's situation with the teacher at this moment, let the teacher pay more attention to the child, supervise more, at least not let the child skip class again and again during the class, and give him more opportunities The more he becomes unscrupulous, so appropriate discipline should also be.

The second point is to reduce his economy. Just reduce instead of not giving, because if you force him too hard, it will inevitably cause him to do other bad things, and on the premise of taking into account his solution to food and clothing, there is no need to give other pocket money, and parents can also communicate with his partners not to lend him money.

The third point is to give the child a little more companionship, so that the child can realize that your conscience is bitter, sometimes it is often due to the lack of family care, resulting in a vacancy in the child's heart, so you will look for other things to fill, so you should give the child more companionship and love.

I think we can start by analyzing the reasons why children don't want to go to school.

Now your child is only in junior high school, the knowledge points of junior high school should not be too difficult, basically the first and second years of junior high school are about the same level as primary school, and the third and fourth junior high school plus physical chemistry will be a little more difficult after the subject, but they are all basic level, so under normal circumstances, it should not be because of poor learning to produce a feeling of boredom in learning. Of course, the reason for this aspect is not ruled out, so we have to analyze the situation in detail.

If the child is really bored with learning because of poor learning, then the most important thing is to cultivate the child's interest in learning, and it is best to stimulate his sense of achievement. Just like when we are students, if we can't do a problem all the time, and no matter how hard we try, we will definitely be very bored and tired of learning, but if we can do anything, we will have a great sense of accomplishment and will be willing to continue to do it. Interest in learning is very important for children.

On the other hand, if the child is in the rebellious period of adolescence and is not interested in learning, then I might as well give the child a week off and take the most direct and simple way to let him soak in the Internet café all week and play games, so as to fight poison with poison. It's like when we do something, even if it's our favorite thing, we get bored when we do it for a week without breaking. This is the most extreme way to immerse your child in the game for a week or a period of time, and try to kill his interest in the game at once, which is also the most extreme way.

First of all, you have to communicate with the child slowly, don't scold and beat at every turn, which can only be counterproductive, talk to the child more, first of all, understand why the child does not want to go to school, start from the root, and then slowly let the child divert attention, attract his attention, and slowly shift from the game.

Talk to him and get to know him, after all, we didn't want to go to school when we were young.

In fact, there are a lot of hidden problems here.

First of all, why he didn't like going to school.

Many parents only see their children skipping school, but they don't pay attention to why their children are skipping school. We say that there are reasons behind children's deviant behavior. We can find out, is the child in the third year of junior high school too heavy on homework?

Schoolwork is too hard? Or did you hit your studies with some blows? Did you communicate with his teacher to see what the school was like?

Find the root cause and fix it. If you do heavy homework, you will reduce the burden, and if your homework is difficult, you will be tutored. Take your child to face any difficulties in learning.

There are many times when parents don't know what their children are going through outside, and children just use this phenomenon to escape difficulties.

Second: the parent-child relationship between parents and children needs to be examined.

Sometimes, children transfer all their emotions to the Internet because in real life, they can't find their sense of worth and belonging. I don't feel love, of course I look for it in the game.

Are parents at home with their children? Or do you go about your own business? Are parents too strict with their children? Causing your child to not feel your affection?

Let go of your own affairs, spend more time with your children, take your children out for travel, and re-establish the parent-child relationship.

Third: characteristics of puberty.

In the third year of junior high school, children are in adolescence, and adolescent children themselves are exploring the meaning of their own lives and what the world is. Criticism of the surroundings. Think about it, when we were in adolescence, was it also challenging?

So understand your child, listen to your child more, and they will find themselves in your real attention and inclusive support. 、

In addition, there is also a very popular job called game operation, which is in the human resources of major enterprises. If children are good at surfing the Internet, can they also develop in this area?

1. Limit the time he has to play games. It is inevitable that children love to play games, but if you pay attention to the time, it is okay, for example, play for about 1 hour a day, it does not have to be too long, so that he can look at the news network and watch ** these.

2. Shape his other personal hobbies. In addition to surfing the Internet at home, we should shape our children's other personal hobbies, such as playing badminton, playing basketball, going swimming, and playing photography.

3. Play the game after completing your homework. If you want to play a game today, you must first do a good job of the teacher's layout, and then play the game in accordance with the first article to strictly control his playing time.

4. Monitor and install mobile phone software. In order to prevent children from quietly playing with mobile phones, you can install a computer monitoring software, and friends can also install a mobile phone software on the computer to detect children's Internet theme activities, and see what he is doing on the Internet.

What should parents do if their children are addicted to games and don't go to school? In the past 11 years, under the help and guidance of Mr. Lai Songqiang, a teacher from the left and right schools, he has successfully helped nearly 5,000 children return to school according to the combination of family education and magic.

1. Reduce the time you spend using your mobile phone.

Parents can set the app in their phone to teen mode, so that their children can only see some content that has been selected by their parents, and parents can set up their children to watch some content related to learning. You can set a passcode lock on some apps to prevent your child from using them. Set network and phone hours.

2. Cultivate reading habits.

3. Make rules and plans.

Set rules for how long your child will play on their phone each day, how long they should read a book, and ask them to follow them. However, the rules for playing mobile phones should not be formulated alone, but can be combined with some other rules to form requirements for children's daily behavior.

4. Ask your child to make a reading plan.

For example, how many books to read this month, but parents must pay attention to the best to let their children set short-term goals, the cycle is best a month, a week, because the annual plan is too long, and it is difficult for the child to stick to it. In this way, long-term implementation can not only allow children to develop a good habit of reading, but also cultivate children's self-control ability.

5. Read with your child.

Many parents buy books and put them aside for their children to read by themselves, but in fact, there are many books that children may not understand and need parents to explain. Especially for some fables, if there is no explanation from parents, it is difficult for children to understand the content of the story, and then the gain from reading is not great.

Moreover, parents can also enhance the parent-child relationship by reading with their children. If the child does not need to be explained by the parents, the parents can choose to read some books that they are interested in, which can not only serve as a role model for the children and create a reading environment, but also increase the parents' own knowledge reserves.