What should I do if my child is too attached to his own rules?

I think children are too attached to their own rules, and the most important thing for us as adults should be to judge whether a child's rules are against the law or morality, causing loss and harm to others.

If a child's behavior is neither immoral nor harmful, then why do we, as adults, have to let children change their own minds? In the respondent's view, this is a kind of shackle that forms an independent way of behaving in children's growth.

Yes, there is no doubt that this is a shackle. In our lives, there are often adults who demand all kinds of things from their children, so that they gradually lose themselves, and they also say that they do it for the good of their children. But is it really for the sake of the children?

Is this really appropriate for the child? How can you be sure that your idea is not wrong and outdated? I think the answer is no.

The Respondent always believes that the most important thing for us in the development stage of our children is to teach them morality. It is necessary to follow the traditional virtues of the Chinese nation -- benevolence, righteousness, courtesy, wisdom, and faithfulness. It is necessary to teach children to respect others, to teach children to know how to be humble, to teach children to understand morality, and to teach children to be kind.

In the opinion of the respondent, it is more important to teach children to form their own independent personality. Let them follow their inner thoughts in their future behavior, instead of becoming a person who goes with the flow and lives an unknown life. In other words, let them do something they want to do, completely according to their hearts.

As parents, we should not use our own ideas to limit our children's behavior, especially in situations that do not harm others, the law, or violate morality. For example, if a child wants to write with his left hand, parents should not force his child to use his right hand, just because this is the way most people in the world hold a pen, and there is only one reason for parents to correct their children in this situation: that is, they feel that this thing should not be like this.

And they themselves don't know if their children's practices are really bad? He is ashamed to say that when he was a child, he was forced by teachers and parents to write with his right hand and use chopsticks with his right hand. In his daily life, in addition to writing and using chopsticks, he used his left hand to play marble, badminton, table tennis, and basketball.

And the left hand of the answerer is also a more powerful hand. I have to admit that in China, people have never been able to recognize the necessity of such rigid rules. In some culturally open countries and regions, the use of the left hand is considered to be a very normal phenomenon.

So what I want to say to the subject is that if the child's own rules are not moral, and do not hurt them, then you have no need to force them to do what they want. But if the child hurts someone else, or breaks the law ...

Beat me to death. (Escape).

I think it's good, you should have your own opinions, but you have to divide the situation, how to cling to your own rules and laws, if it is correct, support and encourage, if it is wrong, you must correct it in time and guide it. For example, I have a little nephew, he is a person who has his own persistence, so at this time, you must not blindly compromise, you must also have your own principles and stick to them. Before my nephew and his father bought him a tablet learning machine, it is the kind of child who listens to the story and scribbles and writes casually, but there are also that kind of games and animations, he is very fascinated by the bald head for a while, and he has been watching, you accept it and he is still crying, if it is his parents at home, if only his grandmother is basically the final result is a compromise, I think this is a matter of no principle, the child is immature, if it takes a long time he will know that I can compromise as long as I cry, So to develop a very bad habit for children, speaking of which I particularly admire Hu Ke, her parenting experience can really be the kind of book, I remember before in the mother is superman, Hu Ke took two children to the supermarket, Xiao Yuer had to open the candy in the supermarket, because he had to eat it when he saw it, but he couldn't open it without paying Hu Ke also adhered to the correct principle, the fish began to cry, and the parents would feel embarrassed at this time and compromise, but Hu Ke didn't, even if the supermarket was full of people, everyone was watching, He also made the fish cry, crying tired and then began to reason, the child is easy to accept, and finally happily waited for the supermarket to finish the account and then cried, I think this is very good, like my nephew, and then his parents began to set the time, after playing for half an hour, he must rest for an hour before he can play, at first I don't understand that the learning machine can't be turned on will cry, over time I accept this reality, and when it's time to play something else.

I think that's really good. Children have their own opinions and plans from an early age, which is a characteristic that many children in modern times lack or even do not have, and I think that children should continue to develop their own opinions so as to improve their own abilities. Most modern children do not have their own opinions, partly because the family has been very strict and decent since childhood.

For example, I have been attending various cram schools since I was a child, although I don't like these, but what my parents ask for, I can't and can't resist it, I can only do what my parents say, and after a long time, the child lacks a sense of autonomy, and will only simply follow the will of his parents, and has no ability to do things of his own. In severe cases, it may even cause inability to take care of oneself. Isn't there a prodigy like this, his mother takes care of three meals a day, his parents accompany him when he is in high school, he focuses on his studies wholeheartedly, he was admitted to college in his teens, but he can't do anything after entering college, he can't even wash his socks, and he can't do it on time for the course exams arranged by the school, because he has never experienced this, this simplest plan is just planned in his head, which is effortless for an ordinary person, Not for a child prodigy.

You can see how terrible it is to blindly follow the parents without their own opinions. So I think it's a good thing for children to have their own opinions. But when parents can't say it, let it go, parents should assist their children.

Maybe the child is not right and clinging to his own plan in some things, if the consequences of this kind of thing are not serious, you can explain to him, if he doesn't listen, let him do it, sometimes it's not a bad thing to fall on his heels. So that when he remembers what you have said, he will have a deeper understanding.

Take the child out and let him see the outside world. Let him know that there are still a lot of things that are of interest to him. That way, you won't be focused on one thing. Becoming interested in other things. It is conducive to the cultivation of children's multiple interests.

In our lives, there are many such children, they are very stubborn, very assertive, know what they want, and know how to persevere. There must be a lot of bright spots in these children, and the stubborn character can only show that the child knows how to work hard for what he wants. Parents do not need to teach their children to be obedient, but should guide their children to be stubborn.

Use energy in the right places.

1.Understand why your child is present

This phenomenon in children is not an unforgivable mistake, but can be communicated and transformed. Parents should first communicate with their children to understand what they think about this matter and why they insist on it. Don't impose your own ideas on your child, and don't change your child's behavior.

Through communication with your child, you can get to know your child's heart to find the right solution, which can also help to bring the parent-child relationship closer.

2. Let children understand the disadvantages of "one tendon".

Children have a rebellious mentality. Blind accusations from parents are counterproductive and can even affect the parent-child relationship. Children who stubbornly look for a way out can suffer harm and loss.

Only then will they find out that they are wrong. Parents should guide their children in time, analyze the reasons, reassure their children, and make them aware of the consequences of "one muscle to the end", and don't do it again next time.

3.Teach children to be self-sufficient

It's not a bad thing to insist on yourself. As long as you have reasonable control and can listen to the opinions of others, this moderate persistence is good for the child's development. The kind of extreme thinking that doesn't give up until you reach your goal.

As long as you grasp the degree of stubbornness, the child will grow up healthily.

1.Thinking limitations

Changing your mind can often change everything. When children with a single tendon encounter problems, their thinking patterns are often confined to a narrow range, and it is difficult to think outside the box to find other better solutions. When children find out that there is a better way but can't think of it, they will become self-denying again, leading to deep inferiority complex and seriously affecting their physical and mental health.

2.Don't know how to fix it

A child's brain should be very active, but when they are not willing to think actively, without personal initiative, a strong sense of dependence develops. And this strong sense of dependence will make them refuse to use their brains, so a vicious circle is formed. This vicious cycle can make children not know how to be flexible and stick to one method.

3. Affect children's development

Single-strand children believe that everything in the world has its fixed laws, that is, it is like this, and there is no way to change it. This prevents them from being free to be creative. Children who are not creative are passive, and today's society has high requirements for children's creativity.

Only children who are willing to innovate can have a better future.

Children will be more old-fashioned, do not know how to be flexible, have poor popularity, and are easy to be overwhelmed when encountering things. Teach him to be flexible, to understand the multifaceted nature of things, to tell him about the diversity of the world, to think about problems from multiple angles, and to empathize more.

This shows that children do not know how to be flexible, do not know how to think of new ways to solve problems in the future, and do not like to think and innovate. When a child is in trouble, parents should urge him to use the old methods first, and if it doesn't work, he will know how to be flexible and think about whether there are other ways to accomplish things better.

Not only will the child not be flexible, but also his or her thinking will be rigid. It needs to be reasonably guided, and it cannot be forced.

I often hear parents accuse their children, why are they so disobedient, irresponsible, and like to bully, in the final analysis, why are children so capricious? Some children will often have conflicts with their classmates after entering primary school, and it is difficult for them to make friends at school, and the reason for such children is often because their status at home is too high.

Grandparents spoiled, parents are in pain, holding in the palm of their hands for fear of falling, their mouths are afraid of melting, so that their children never suffer any rejection, this is how parents let their children develop capricious bad habits, I believe that there are many such children, although parents seem to have headaches, but children always turn a blind eye to small problems in life, causing children to become more and more capricious. How to get rid of the bad habit of being wayward in your child?

A child's attention is easily distracted, and even when he is headstrong, he can be diverted from different things. This can alleviate the problem of the child's temporary willfulness. For example, if a child wants to buy something in the mall, parents can divert the child's attention.

Although it seems to cure the symptoms but not the root cause, parents must find reasonableness, let their children realize the wayward mistakes at that time, and then give their children reasonable education.

It is very easy for children to form the correct values of jujube years. Each child has their own role of worship, and when they behave capriciously and inappropriately, parents can give their children an image in their minds as if they were comparing, so it is easy to let the child's stool base stop capriciously. For whatever reason, parents cannot take a tough attitude, understand the psychology of their children at the time, compare their behavior with the example in their minds, behave rightly, and stop being capricious.

Many parents are most afraid or endlessly rolling, cold-dealing behaviors, cold-treated behaviors are the most effective. Cold treatment of wayward children. Parents should pay attention to the fact that after cold treatment, they should understand and comfort their children and tell them why they are doing so.

Let him know about his unreasonable demands and wayward behavior. The cold treatment of his parents does not mean that they do not love him and should not leave a shadow on the child's heart.

Wayward children often have no sense of responsibility, children are capricious, if parents preach useless, then let children bear the consequences, encounter setbacks children can feel, let children become stronger and stronger, not capricious, making mistakes is the process of every child's growth, only experienced, children can really change.

Every child's capriciousness has a certain reason. Parents start by reviewing their educational issues to see if they live on themselves. Second, learn to correct your child's capricious behavior.

This can reduce the child's future capriciousness and undesirable consequences for themselves. With the lessons, children's naturally capricious behaviors will also be much reduced.