What was it like to grow up in a family where parents were at odds?

<>I didn't grow up in a family where my parents didn't get along because they were separated before I knew my parents were going divorced. After that, my life was completely growing up in the era of the old society, being instilled with the spirit of Lei Feng, being taught selfless dedication, and being tortured by all kinds of torture, just because my grandmother was emotionally unstable. I used to think that it was my fault, that it was my incompetence and decadence, so my grandmother always looked at me unpleasantly, and the more I tried, the more I didn't get a response, and everyone seemed to treat me indifferently, and felt that all my achievements were what I deserved, and there was no change in my attitude towards me because of my change.

When it comes to the disagreement between my parents in my early years, I may not remember it clearly. Because I really don't have a life to speak of, I live for others. Only in the family that has not experienced divorce at that time, I am a child of my own, although my parents will quarrel from time to time, cold war, but no matter what I do, I have my own playmates, I have my own free paradise.

When they don't pay attention to each other, I choose to run away and play my own game and eat my favorite instant noodles. I can do whatever I want, because my parents are fighting over the clam and I am the fisherman. I can run to my grandmother's house and eat, drink and sleep without worrying about the place.

I'm still happy. At least happier than not having parents. It wasn't until later that her parents separated, and her mother's absence was understandable, and she took the train back to her hometown, far, far away in the mountains.

But my father didn't seem to care about me, and when I had a younger brother, he ignored my emotions. Maybe my younger brother is a little better off than me, at least he knows in his heart that his parents are loving.

A person's greatest misfortune is not to be born in a poor rural family, but to be born in a family where my parents are not in harmony, don't ask me how I feel, I am very sad, very helpless, very unhappy.

The misfortune in a person's misfortune is not that he grew up in a family where his parents were not in harmony, but that he knew that he was unhappy, but he couldn't leave that environment, suffering every day, being depressed every day, and being pessimistic every dayThat feeling can not be expressed in a literal sense, only you can understand it

When I was a child, the discord between my parents made this family lose its former peace, in exchange for a quarrel that never rested, I was very sad to see it, I couldn't hide, what kind of feeling, that is, crying. I always hope to cry harder, so that my parents stop arguing and have concerns, but no, they can see my tears, but they don't care about the sadness in my heart, because they are not in harmony, I am self-contained, I don't talk to outsiders, I don't let outsiders see through my inner fragility, it doesn't matter, no matter what kind of environment, what I want to be strong is to hope that after growing up and being sensible, I will seek various ways to alleviate my parents' discord and return us to a happy and harmonious home.

So, when IHold back the tears and bear the painWhen I grew up, the conflict between my parents has worsened, I thought that their discord was because of the problem of poor family background, I worked hard to study, hoping that one day, I would become their hero, win glory for the family, and make life better, the feeling in my heartIn addition to tears, there are all kinds of helplessnessI was annoyed to see that I couldn't use a little strength to resolve their contradictions.

Nowadays, I have achieved good results, I can make money to send home, I have tried various methods, I want to change the situation of discord between my parents, I have tried many times, and I have not succeeded once, at this moment in my heart,That feeling is disappointment, helplessness, and more of a shadow on my heart, afraid of getting married, afraid of marriage, afraid of repeating the mistakes of the past in the future, and harming my children

Parents are not in harmony, my feelings are all kinds of flavors, I know how useful it is to blindly persuade me, I am reading a psychological book, to find the resentment rooted in their hearts, one day I will be able to cure the disease, return their smiles, and return family peace.

In fact, personal feelings are still very important to a person, just like our family is very unhappy, they often quarrel and so on, I sometimes cry secretly, I don't have any other way, and I don't dare to resist with my parents, which is also the feeling between them. Oh, a lot of times, when I see other people's parents still messing around recently, I feel sad and envious.

My friend's family is not very harmonious, which causes her to always be very negative and have low self-esteem.

When I was a child, my parents were often not together, but when I grew up, I lived together, quarreled every day, and felt uncomfortable every time I looked at it.

When I was a child, my parents used to quarrel, so I was scared when they quarreled, which led to my fear of marriage now and I don't want to get married.

A family where parents are not in harmony will have a bad impact on the growth of children. Because most of the child's time, or live with their parents, when the child is young, it is very important to the relationship between parents, if a family is in harmony, then the child's character is also better, must be a very sensible child, and a family in which the parents do not get along, then it will make the child have some fear or inferiority complex, the child's character will become very withdrawn, this is the impact of family education.

The so-called teaching by word and deed, that is, the behavior of parents and the words of parents must be standardized, to do positive things, to say good words for children, so that children will be like our parents, what kind of people to become, educating children is a big project, not overnight.

Although it is said that after the child reaches a certain age, he will go to school, he will receive compulsory education, and there are teachers in the school to teach them how to learn and other knowledge, but what kind of person a child will become in the future, in fact, it is the result of family education and school education, both of which are indispensable, of course, the responsibility of the school is to educate students well, let children learn better, let children play their potential, and make children learn stronger.

And family education, through the parents' daily life conversations, or the parents' behavior, children see, or some things that children see, and these, some parents feel that they don't care, but these seemingly small things, in the eyes of children, are their own role models and norms, they will do things like their parents, to deal with things, so parents are required not to quarrel in front of their children, and deal with things between husband and wife. We should create a good living environment for children, accompany children more, and pay attention to family education, so that children's childhood is a happy and happy process.

Yes. This is because if the family is not harmonious, it is likely to affect the child's character, and then it will also lead to the child's low self-esteem, and the parents will often quarrel in front of the child, which is not conducive to the child's character development, which will lead to the child's rebellious psychology, and then it is also likely to have some extreme behaviors.

Yes, because in this case, there is no way to create a healthy family environment for the child, which may lead to the distortion of the child's personality, which may lead to the child's fear of marriage, and may affect the parent-child relationship. It can affect academic performance.

There is an impact, the parents are not harmonious, the child will not do well in school in such an environment, and the child will become very short-tempered and does not want to deal with people. Because the child has suffered a lot of grievances in such a family atmosphere.

Rejection may not be there, even if there will be some rejection at the beginning of living together (the sense of rejection arises because of unfamiliarity, so there is a lack of a certain sense of security), but when the child and his parents have more contact, they will slowly become familiar, familiar, and the distrust in the heart will slowly fade, after all, there is still a layer of blood relationship, and it will not be difficult to get along for a long time.

If the child has not been with his parents since he was a child, the intimacy between the child and his parents will be very weak when he grows up, and there will not be a strong sense of intimacy between the child who grew up with his parents and his parents. If parents feel that their children are not talking to them, and they also find it difficult for their children to communicate and understand, most of them are because of the lack of intimacy. After all, when the child's ideology is growing, it is difficult for the parents to find a common language without their involvement.

The so-called bad family is actually a family with a problem with family style, which directly affects the moral education and social communication ability of children. Take myself as an example, my family feudal tradition is very heavy, I grew up with my grandmother, my grandmother is from a big family in the old era, the sense of patriarch is very strong, or illiterate, my enlightenment education is out of her education, and now I write or invert the pen, and then my parents took me to school, my parents are too upright and orthodox, no problem in morality, but too much poor emotional intelligence, my father is because of his words to offend people, originally the liberation war to participate in the revolution qualifications, hospital director candidate, In the end, he was forcibly sent to the bottom to be the head of a medical center. My mother was even more strict with me, for fear that something would go wrong, or that my playfulness would affect my studies.

Growing up in such an environment, I formed an introverted, timid, cowardly character, not good at interacting with people, and my social communication skills were seriously insufficient.

There are no examples of this, it is entirely a matter of personal mentality. Why not try to change the future.

More introverted, timid, will not have self-confidence.

Parents want to have a good relationship with their children, first of all, they must be parents and friends, if parents just condescendingly give orders, parents act in style, do not listen to children's opinions, children will have problems and do not communicate with parents, I do my own thing, in the long run, the relationship is becoming more and more estranged, the relationship is not coordinated, parents first lower their posture and take the initiative to communicate with their children, if it is not good, go to a psychologist for consultation.