30 points for very funny jokes.

The eldest and second took the plane, and the second was airsick and kept vomiting. The bag was full of vomit, and the boss had to go to get the bag, and when he came back, he found that all the people on the plane were vomiting. The eldest asked the reason, and the second said:

I saw that the bag was also full of vomit, so I had to drink half a bag again, and they vomited it all. ”

A man saw a big sale in a shop and walked in. "What do you buy? "I want to buy dog food.

We have regulations that you have to prove that you have a dog. "Where is such a rule? "That's what it's like for sale items.

The man grinded with the salesman for a long time, but the salesman still did not agree to sell it to him. There was no way, so the man had to go home and bring the dog, so he bought dog food. A few days later, the man went to the store again to buy cat food.

Give me two boxes of cat food. "We have regulations that you have to prove that you have a cat. "It's still the salesperson, and the man rubbed with her for a long time, but he still had to go home and bring the cat to buy cat food.

After a few more days, the man came to the store with a large cardboard box with a hole in it and found the salesperson. "What do you buy? "You put your hand in and know.

The salesman put his hand in: "What is it, sticky." "I want to buy two rolls of paper papers.

Some people like the dish of "spicy vermicelli pot". Once, he went to a restaurant and ordered this dish again. But the waiter told him that the dish was sold out.

Is it really sold out? He asked disappointedly. "Sir, it's really sold out.

You see, the last one was sold to the gentleman at the table. The waiter said. The man followed the waiter's instructions and saw a very decent gentleman sitting next to him.

The gentleman's meal has been almost eaten, but the "spicy vermicelli pot" is still full. The man felt that the gentleman was wasting delicious food, so he walked up to the gentleman, pointed to the "spicy vermicelli pot", and asked politely, "Sir, do you want this?"

The gentleman shook his head graciously. So the man sat down at once, picked up the spoon, and devoured it. After a while, he found a small mouse lying at the bottom of the casserole, but with all its fur grown.

In a flurry of nausea, the man vomited all the vermicelli he had eaten back into the casserole. When he was there with a tumbling stomach, the gentleman looked at him with sympathy and said, "It's disgusting, isn't it?"

I was the same just now. ”

Tortoise and hare race. The rabbit quickly ran to the front.

The turtle saw a snail crawling very slowly, very slowly. Say to him, "Come up, and I will carry you."

And then. And the snail came up.

After a while. The turtle saw another ant. Say to him, "Come up also."

So the ants came up too...

After the ants come up. See the snail above. Say "hello" to him, do you know what the snail says?

The snail said, "Hurry up, this turtle is so fast."

1.The soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine during the battle? Lian Elder was annoyed: *, what can I do? If you step on it, you will be compensated according to the price.

2.I was chatting with a friend just now, and it talked about you, you know? I got into an argument with them, and I almost got into a fight, because some of them said you looked like a monkey, some said you looked like an orangutan, it was too much! Didn't look at you like a pig at all!

3.The fish said, "I keep my eyes open because I am reluctant to leave by your side." The water said, "I have been flowing tirelessly all day long to surround you and hold you tight." The pot said, "It's almost ripe and so much." ”

You can say it! , Japan said a lot of words. But the chairman spoke:

Can you speak English? The Japanese say, "I'm just speaking English."

The Japanese went on to say ......At this point, the chairman said, "Can you stand up and speak?" The Japanese say:

I'm already on my feet.

A county magistrate with a strong accent came to the village to make a report: rabbits, shrimps, pig tails! Don't pickle melon, pickles are too expensive!! 」

Translation: Comrades, villagers, pay attention! Don't speak, it's time for the meeting!! After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said: Pickles, please sausage pickles! Translation: Now the mayor of the township is invited to speak! ）

The township chief said: "Rabbits, today's rice dog has eaten, everyone is a king!" Translation: Comrades, there is enough food to eat today, everyone is a big bowl! Don't want pickles, I'll pick up a shit for you to lick

Translation: Don't speak, I'll tell you a story).

There were three homeless people who lived in the temple, and the next day the homeless man who slept on the left said, "Yesterday I dreamed that someone grabbed my big handfuls, and the homeless man who slept on the right side said, "I also dreamed that someone grabbed my big handfuls, and the one who slept in the middle said, "I dreamed that I was skiing."

The police received a report from the crowd that there were two large bombs (harmony) under the overpass, so the police took experts to check, and when they carefully opened the suspicious package, they found that there were really two big bombs (harmony) bombs inside, a pair of kings and four twos.

Once upon a time there was a man with the surname Leng. Later he froze himself to death!

One day, Cao Cao and Liu Bei cooked wine and talked about heroes. Outside, there were dark clouds, lightning and thunder, wind and rain. The two drank a few glasses, and Liu Bei suddenly let out a fart, very embarrassed.

Liu Bei was embarrassed, only to hear Guan Yu behind him say calmly: "Don't be surprised, the fart comes from the feather (rain)!" ”

As soon as Guan Yu's voice fell, Zhao Yun on the side took a step forward and said, "Don't be surprised, farts come from the clouds!" ”

As soon as Zhao Yun finished speaking, Zhang Fei, who had a loud voice, then shouted: "The fart is flying!" ”

Everyone burst into laughter. Liu Bei has also returned to normal.

Cao Cao didn't laugh, he was deeply touched by this matter. After sending Liu Bei and the others away, Cao Cao said to his subordinates: "Liu Bei's subordinates, when they saw that the lord had a mistake, they all rushed to take responsibility and make up for their mistakes, which can really be described as loyal. If it's your turn, will it be possible? ”

Everyone was indignant and said in unison: "Prime Minister, isn't it just a, what's so difficult about this!" You'll see next time. ”

A few days later, Cao Cao invited Liu Bei to drink again, and during the banquet he wanted to fart to see how his subordinates reacted. After holding it for a long time, I finally held back a little fart. Everyone had been waiting for a long time, and when they heard the sound of "goo", the general Xu Chu was anxious, and hurriedly shouted first:

The fart was put by Chu (pig)! ”

Wang Lang followed closely and said: "The fart was put by Lang (wolf)!" ”

Gou An said: This is Gou (dog) fart.

Cai Mao said: This is a Mao (cat) fart.

Cao Cao's eyes widened when he heard this, and the others thought that Cao Cao thought he was slow, so they rushed to him.

Niu Jin said: "This is a golden fart!" ”

Xun Yu said: "This is Yu (jade) fart!" ”

Cao Hong said: "The fart is Hong (red)!" ”

Gao Ran said: "The fart is Lan (blue)!" ”

Jiang Gan said: "The fart is dry!" ”

Sima Shi said: "The fart is Shi (wet)!" ”

Xiahou Yuan said: "The fart is Yuan (round)!" ”

Cao Fang said: "The fart is square! ”

He is worthy of being my No. 1 military advisor. Cao Cao thought secretly. Let's hear what he has to say.

I only heard Guo Jia say: "This is Jia (fake) fart!" ”

Cao Zhen grabbed again: "This is a real fart!" ”

Guo Huai said: "This is Huai (bad) fart!" ”

Zhang He said: "The fart is (drinking)!" ”

Sima Yan said: "The fart is Yan (pharyngeal)!" ”

Xu Huang said: "The fart is dangling!" ”

Xiahou Dun said: "The fart is Dun (jumping)!" ”

Guo Tu said: "The fart is (spit out)!"

Xiahou Ba said: "The fart is out of the tyrant".

Xun You said: "The fart is from You! ”

Full pet said: "The fart is a pet (rush)!" ”

Jiang Ji said: "The fart is squeezed (squeezed)!" ”

Zhong Xuan said: "The fart is from the fart (shake)!" ”

Finally, Cao Cao couldn't hold back any longer, and said angrily: "Nonsense, farts are out." ”

Liu Bei and the others were already smiling.

Friends above.

You don't want to copy it.

A 3-year-old girl was with a 4-year-old boy, and the 3-year-old girl said, "You are responsible for me." The 4-year-old boy said, "Don't worry, we're not 1 or 2-year-olds." Funny, please give me points. Thank you!

2.One day, the geography teacher asked the students, where do China's rivers flow?

One of the students stood up and sang, "The river flows eastward."

The teacher ignored him, and then said, "How many stars are there in the sky?"

The classmate sang again: The stars in the sky are in the Beidou.

The teacher was angry: You get out of here!

Student: Let's go.

The teacher said helplessly: Are you sick?

Student: You have me, I have it all!

Teacher: Try one more thing.

Student: When the road is uneven, I roar!

Teacher: Do you believe that I beat you up?

Student: Shoot when it's time to strike.

The teacher is angry: I will let you quit school!

Student: Stormy Kyushu.