Tell a bad joke and you ll get five points! Tell a few bad jokes

One night, the father told his son a story about a frog. Stop 'Dad, I don't want to listen to fairy tales, I want to hear science fiction stories;'The son said. Well, in space, there's a frog.

Daddy preached... Dad, today is my 8th birthday, tell me an out-of-the-ordinary story,' said my son... Good, good,' Dad said.

But don't tell your mom that there was a frog with no clothes.

- Isn't it cold?

Once upon a time, a man was fishing and caught a squid.

The squid begged him: You let me go, don't bake me to eat.

The man said, "Okay, then I'm going to ask you a few questions."

The squid was very happy and said: You take the test, you take the test!

Then the man grilled the squid.

There was a banana that felt hot while walking on the road, so he took off his clothes and slipped on it.

I love you, do you love me, I don't want to force you, if you don't love me, I can only let go. "- I, on the edge of a cliff, said to my dream lover who was holding my hand and hanging by a thread.

In front of a field, a piece of grass on the ground, a kind of flower. Answer: Plum blossoms (no flowers) are still a piece of land, and the land is ...... hahahaI also like this kind of cold joke that there is a bird, what unicorn is the best to eat? == Police.

A woman got off the night shift, a man followed the plot, the woman was afraid, passed by the cemetery, and said to the grave: Dad, I'm back, open the door. The man was terrified, screaming and running.

The woman was at peace and was about to leave, when suddenly a gloomy voice came from the grave: "Girl, you forgot to bring the key again." The woman was frightened and ran away.

At this time, a tomb robber came out of the grave and said: Damn, delay my work, scare you to death! As soon as the words of tomb robbery fell, I found that an old man next to him was carving a tombstone with a chisel, curious, and asked, the old man said angrily, NND, they carved my name wrong...The great fear of robbing the tomb, waw wow screaming and running.

The old man sneered: "Damn, dare to steal business with me, and be tender..."As he was talking, the chisel accidentally fell to the ground, and the old man was about to pick it up, when he bent down and found that the chisel was held in one hand in the grass, the old man was startled, and suddenly a voice said: "You are looking for death!"

Changing the house number of my house. The old man is rolling down the hill! At this moment, a scavenger crawled out of the grass, "Damn, it takes so much money to make a piece of iron."

Shennong tasted a hundred herbs, what was his last sentence before he died?

A: That's ......This grass is poisonous!

1.If there is a car that is now walking on the highway, the driver is Xiao Gang, and the passengers are Xiao Qiang and Xiao Ming, who does this car belong to?

A-if.

2.Do you think the most sour feeling is jealousy? No, the most sour feeling is that you don't have the right to be jealous.

3.You must have courage to bow your head, and you must have confidence to raise your head.

4.Heaven decides who your relatives are, and luckily He leaves room for you when it comes to choosing friends.

5.People are like a cup of tea, they will not be bitter for a lifetime, but they will always be bitter for a while.

6.When pain comes, don't always ask, "Why me?" "Because you didn't ask that question when the joy came.

7.Life can be done, and life can also be exquisite.

1 All 1A male deer, it walks and walks, and it goes faster and faster, and finally it becomes a highway (deer)!!

2.Two tomatoes crossed the street, a car sped by, one of them dodged and was flattened, and the other tomato pointed to the flattened tomato and laughed: Dig hahaha, ketchup....

3.The big bad wolf said, "I'm going to eat you!! Guess what's wrong? As a result, the big bad wolf ate the lamb.

4.The stone and the rice cake fought, and the stone flew up and kicked the rice cake into the ......... of the sea

Once upon a time, there was a couple of lovers who made a private promise for life, but the boy needed to serve in the military, so he made a vow with the girl, gave the girl a diamond ring, and promised to meet the girl three years later, and when the time comes, the ring will be used as a wedding ring. Finally, 3 years have passed, the girl has been waiting for the boy, but she has not been able to wait, she is too sad, desperate she threw the diamond ring into the sea, and left the country. However, the boy has actually been waiting for the girl, but the girl misunderstood the date location, so it became a regret forever.

The boy is heartbroken....After a few years, the boy went out fishing, guess what he caught?

Rice cake! 6.There was a duck named Xiao Huang, and one day when he was hit by a car, he shouted: "Quack! "He's been a gherkin!

7.The matchstick suddenly felt that his head was very itchy, so he reached out to scratch it, and burned himself to death by scratching it....

Little girls always show off their new toys to little boys. The little boy had no choice but to take off his pants and say: You will never have this! The girl also took off her pants and said, "My mother said that as long as you have this, you will have as many things as you want!"

1.Crayon Xiaoxin and Maruko's daughter - Crayon Maruko, I'll take it!!

2.Oh, my God! My clothes are thin again.

3.Live well, because we will die for a long, long time.

4.Is it okay not to steam steamed buns to fight for breath?

5.If you don't eat enough, how can you have the strength**?

6.It's a mirror, a ...... that always reflects lightIt's gold, and it will always be spent!

7.Sleep is an art, and no one can stop me from pursuing it.

8.Most people only do three things in their lives: self-deception, deception, and being bullied.

9.I won't say anything if I kill you.

10.Q: What do you like about me? A: I like you to stay away from me!

11.Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately - in the end he killed all the students.

12.People always want to let the ghosts and gods know when they do something good, and they always think that the ghosts don't know when they do something bad, and we make it too difficult for the ghosts.

13.Don't say that other people have a sick brain, the premise of having a sick brain is that you must have a brain.

14.You told me to get out, I got out. You asked me to come back, sorry, get out of here!

15.I never hold grudges, and I usually take revenge on the spot.

16.If people don't offend me, I won't offend everyone, if they offend me, let three people offend me, and I will also offend me with one needle, and if someone commits it again, I will cut the grass and eradicate the roots!

17.The can tab loves the can, but the can has a cola in its heart!

18.There are so many people who despise me, how old are you?

19.Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compare with you!

20.You will never sing to lure the wolf, really- you will only scare the wolf away.

21."On the positive side, it is the great god (God); On the flip side, it's a despicable villain (dog). In fact, the evil that people commit, in turn, is to live. "A lot of things are different from the other way you look at it.

22.On the deserted highway in the dark night, a woman in white waved on the side of the road, and the driver stopped to pick her up. The woman handed the driver an apple.

The driver was not good at refusing and took a bite. The woman asked: Is it delicious?

The driver said: Delicious! Then the woman said:

Of course it's delicious, and I loved apples the most when I was alive." The driver was so frightened that he almost drove the car into the ditch, and the woman continued: "Since the birth of the child, I have not liked to eat."

23.McDull, this pig, knows too much!

24.You're a very kind person, especially when you're sorry for people.

25.You may have come to this world just to make soy sauce.

26.You think you're redundant, actually. You're really superfluous!

27.Your sanity is only a little lower than room temperature.

28.Your sanity is only a little lower than room temperature.

It doesn't matter if your head is empty, the key is not to get water.

You get out of here, keep moving.

I don't even believe in punctuation.

Hey, may I ask, is your coffin clamshell or sliding?

One day, when the tiger caught a cold, he caught the giant panda and said, "I'm going to eat you kid."

The panda cried and said: 55555 Why do you have to eat me when you are sick The tiger said: Boy, don't fool Lao Tzu! I didn't watch it on TV, I had a cold, and I ate white and black, ......Funny isn't it?

Once upon a time there was a little pig and a little bear, and the little pig asked the little bear, "Guess I have a few pieces of candy in my pocket?" Cub:

I don't know! So what reward did you give me, did I guess it? Piggy said:

If you're guessing correctly, I'll give you both of the 2 pieces of candy in my pocket! The bear thought for a moment and said, "Well!

Well, I guess you have 5 pieces of sugar in your pocket! 。

Don't buy a low house, do you know why? 、

I thought it was convenient to jump off the building to make up for it.

Why is the sea blue?

Because the fish spits bubbles blue blue

1.A long, long time ago, Jesus and Shakyamuni played a game of ear flicking, and Shakyamuni always lost, so his ears became very big, and once Shakyamuni finally won, Jesus said, "I'm sorry I have something to go out for."

Then Jesus never came back because he was crucifixed, and Shakyamuni kept flicking his ears.

Two mentally ill people were about to escape over the wall, and the dean built a lot of walls to prevent them from escaping, and after the two psychopaths climbed over several walls, psychopathic A asked psychopathic B, "Are you tired?" Psychopath B said

Don't get tired! Psychopathic A said, "Then let's keep flipping!"

So they climbed over and over, and when they got to the last wall, psycho B said, "I'm tired!" "Psychopathic A said:

Me too, so let's go back! Psychopath B said, "Okay."

So they flipped back!! ~

1 Five yuan was kidnapped by a criminal gang, and I gave a hundred yuan bill

Feed! Your son is here, and if you don't want us to tear up the ticket, you will exchange yourself for him! ”

The hundred-dollar bill thought for a moment and said:

Tear it up, you don't even have 5 yuan after tearing it! ”

2. A man was about to starve to death in the desert, when he picked up the magic lamp.

Magic Lamp: "I can only fulfill one wish of you, say it quickly, I'm in a hurry." ”

Person: "I want my wife ......."”

The magic lamp immediately conjured up a beautiful woman, and then said disdainfully: "I'm dying of hunger and greedy for beauty!" Lamentable! With that, he disappeared.

Man: "....Cake. ”

3. The earthworm family was very bored this day, and the little earthworm cut himself into two pieces to play badminton, and the earthworm mother thought that this method was good, so she cut herself into four pieces to play mahjong, and the earthworm father thought about it and cut himself into minced meat.

Mother Earthworm cried and said, "Why are you so stupid? You'll die if you chop it so hard! ”

Father Earthworm said weakly, "....Suddenly I want to play football. ”

4There was a man and a woman having dinner.

The girl kept asking the boy: Do you love me?

The boy glanced at the girl and went on to dinner.

The girl was very angry and asked again: Do you love me?

The boy finally said: Love.

The girl asked again: Then how do you prove it?

Suddenly, the boy took 30 yuan out of his pocket and asked the girl, "Do you have 10 yuan?"

The girl took ten dollars and gave it to the boy.

The boy put forty dollars on the table.

After a while.

The girl was very angry and asked the boy: Do you want to prove that you love me!

The boy said, "I've proven it!" Forty is in front of you! (This cow!) 5. Go to the snack street for a day.

Discover a shop that sells egg tarts.

Each one looks very delicious, so I want to buy one and try it.

I asked the clerk: Is this a single sale?

Clerk: No, it's Japanese.