Jokes Less Jokes, shorter!

There is a couple of lovers in the park who are sweet, and the girl is coquettish and says, "Husband, I have a toothache" The boy kisses the girl and says, "Does it still hurt?"

The girl said, "It doesn't hurt anymore," and after a while, the girl coquettishly said, "My neck hurts," so the boy kissed the girl's neck again and said

Does it still hurt? The girl said happily: "It doesn't hurt" An old lady next to her saw it and couldn't help but say:

Young man, you are really a god, can you cure hemorrhoids?

Rule 1: A couple, the man's surname is He, and the woman's surname is Bao.

The man said to his girlfriend, "Let's get married." ”

The woman replied: "No, if we get married, won't the children born in the future become poached eggs?" ”

Reason 2: A chick is crushed by a car, and the driver asks a little girl, "Is this your chick?" ”

The little girl shook her head and said, "No, no, my chickens are not so flat." ”

Hee Hee and Ha Ha are good friends, and one day Ha Ha died in a car accident. Hee hee went to Haha's grave and said, "Haha, you're dead." ”

A steamed bun, hungry, eats itself.

Dad complained: "Ahem, it's so late, your mother is still chatting with her uncle in the unit, is there any work that can't be said tomorrow?" ”

Four-year-old son: "Do you want me to cry him away?" ”

A** walking on the road hangs up.

The classic short joke of "The Legend of the Laughing Forest" is as follows:

1. People ask: "Mutton and goose meat." How is it so poisonous? Or he replied, "He was a vegetarian all his life." ”

Translation: Someone asked, "Why is mutton and goose so fishy?" He said, "Because I have been a vegetarian all my life." ”

2. Snobbish people, every time they come out of the crown, they must be avoided. When asked why, the companion replied, "Leave your relatives."

So repeatedly, fellow travelers are disgusted. Occasionally, when a beggar encounters it, he also follows his example and avoids it, saying: "Give up your relatives."

Asked: "Why is there such a pro? "Said:

But the good ones are all recognized. ”

Translation: There was a vain man who would hide from him every time he went out and met a dignitary passing by. The companions asked the reason, and he said:

That's my relative. "Every time I do this, my fellow travelers find it very annoying. Later, when he met a beggar, the people who accompanied him followed suit, and hid from him, saying:

That beggar is a relative of mine. Those who love vanity can't help but ask, "How can you have such a poor relative?"

Answer: "For everything that is good has been recognized by you." ”

3. Yiweng said: "My family has three daughters-in-law, all of whom are extremely filial. The eldest daughter-in-law was afraid that I would be weak-mouthed, and when she saw me enter the door, she added salt.

The second daughter-in-law was afraid that I would be lonely, so she often played the bamboo drum and listened to me. The third daughter-in-law is more filial, and she heard that 'eat less at night and live to ninety-nine'. Therefore, they will not eat breakfast with me.

>4. There are those who are worried about the poor, or they are taught: "It is enough to ask for a matchmaker." The person said: "Can media security cure poverty? He replied: "With your poor family, through the Bili media population, they will all make a fortune." ”

Translation: A man who is sad and poor all day long is told to say, "You can be rich by asking the matchmaker to say it."

The destitute man said, "How can a matchmaker solve poverty?" A:

No matter which poor family it is, after the matchmaker's mouth, it has made a fortune. ”

5. There are those who regret Hu Chi with a light wine banquet. Guests taste it, and praise the beauty of cooking in the house. The Lord said, "How can you see coarse food that has never been served?" He replied, "There is no need to talk about anything else, just this flavor of wine to cook white boiling soup, it is wonderful." ”

Translation: A man invited a guest to drink wine mixed with water, and the wine tasted very light, and the guest tasted it, sarcastically praising his family for being good at cooking. The host said, "The meal has not been served yet, how do you know?" Answer: "If nothing else, this wine boiled in boiled water is wonderful." ”

Soon after the ant and the elephant were married, the elephant died. While burying the elephant, the ant cried bitterly: "My dear, why did you go so early, I didn't do anything else in my life, so I buried you!" ”

"I have a habit of sleeping naked during naps", "But this is in the classroom".

In high school, everyone in the class was naughty and discussed, and the teacher came, calling Galeries Lafayette auspicious (female teacher) together, and not shouting flat and not sitting down.

When the teacher entered the room, the class leader got up, and the shout of "Lafayette auspicious" was deafening. Unexpectedly, three late smokers ran into the house and were stunned with the teacher.

It's so twilight!

Fifty steps to laugh and a hundred steps, shake it,

1 In the military training of the university, there is a woman in the team who is very hypocritical, speaks very much, and looks like that. It's all annoying to her.

When she was resting on this day, she went to the instructor: "Instructor, you give me the anti-wolf technique, people are so scared at night (tone of voice, please make up for it)." ”

Then, the instructor glanced at her: "Classmate, you are too worried about ......."”

Laughter burst into ......

2 A classmate in junior high school began to learn to smoke when he was in the second year of junior high school, and secretly took him a pack of cigarettes every day.

One day, a guest came to the house, and Baba told his son to get a pack of cigarettes for the guest, and the classmate said innocently: "Baba, smoke **?" "Baba slapped past, you kid take me a pack of cigarettes every day, don't you know?

Decidely pretended to be struck by lightning.