What makes you feel like you re unusually witty?

After graduating from college, I have a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend, and I often divide and merge, but there are no big contradictions, and there are constant small contradictions. There was a time when I didn't have much contact, and one day she suddenly appeared in front of me and said to me, "Let's get married."

At that time, my reason prevailed over emotion, and I decisively refused and broke up, only to learn later that she had intervened in someone else's family and made a fuss, and finally thought of me. Now that I think about it, I feel that the man's "sixth sense" is also quite accurate, and I really admire my wit at that time.

In the second semester of the third year of high school, there are many people in a class, but the classroom capacity is small, so the seats are narrow. Our seats change every two weeks, once I was assigned to the corner of the back door of the classroom, the weather is hot, the door is kept open, often students pass behind me, will bump into me and my tablemates, in order to avoid disturbance, I used a marker pen to write a sentence on the back of the blank of the test paper: In order to prevent back friction**, please try to walk sideways.

Later, the students cooperated with their backs against the door, walking sideways like crabs, or simply taking a detour through the front door. It's so cute, and it achieves its goal in a simple and humorous way. This slogan, which testifies to my ingenuity, was torn off when the college entrance examination was cleared. ‍‍

My mom admired me and used the rice cooker exhaust port to heat the steamed buns (at this time my eyes were shining stars).

When there was a power outage at home, the phone was out of battery. I remembered the physical chemistry I learned in middle school. I found copper and iron plates and inserted them in the small vegetable garden at home, connected a few wires to the charger, and then charged the mobile phone. I feel like I'm too witty.

When I was in junior high school, the homeroom teacher was very strict, and there was a boy in the class (I was the representative of the physics class, and I saw that he was a very scheming person, but he had a good relationship with his classmates, and we were friends?). Because he was found out by the teacher and criticized a girl in the class, he seemed to contradict the teacher again, and the teacher looked for parents and investigated classmates, and the matter was very troublesome, and the class was also panicked, and they were all talking about it. The next morning, when I arrived at the class, it was very early (the teacher wouldn't arrive so early), there were only three or two people in the class, and someone asked how the boy was doing, and we were stirring up a conversation, when I heard footsteps in the hallway, because it was very early, so I could hear clearly, (at this time, what do you think?)

But I was suddenly alert (I don't know where the godfather-like caution came from), I deliberately interrupted the discussion, and said loudly, "Arui (a boy's nickname, I called it on purpose), are you on duty this morning?" They were talking about it, but when they heard me say this, they were stunned, and the next moment, a figure suddenly appeared at the door, yes, it was the boy, my "colleague", who was still as calm as usual, saw us, and smiled at us. I got up, "Oh, I remember, today is my duty."

So I walked to the door and passed him. He looked at me and smiled at me, and I smiled back with the cleaning tools. Since then, until graduation, although he sometimes plots against others, but we have always been friends, talking and laughing, and caring for each other, it is also a "gentleman" friend.

On the fourth day of the first month of the 19th year of this year, my sister was forced by my father to go on a blind date, and our family went, and then my sister asked me to go, and I went to buy and eat by myself, and then I left. (My sister doesn't want to get married, right now.) My dad forced it.

Probably after they finished eating, my sister sent me a message saying "ask my mom to take me to buy clothes", and I said it was still early, and I would go back. My sister told me to hit ** to my mother again, and then I called (I thought they were going to trick me) I called my mother, and I asked, are you with my sister? My mom said, "We're together, we're still eating."

Then it dawned on me that my sister wanted me to take her away under this pretext, so I ran over to their dinner table and pulled my sister to take me to buy clothes, mainly at that time my sister had a total of two sentences to ask your mother to take you to buy clothes and you called ** to your mother, and my mother, after passing **, suddenly realized, the past made trouble, yes! I still think I'm witty, but my sister always says I'm stupid, but I didn't expect that, I said you just two words, I can think of super witty. ‍‍

I remember when I was a child, I always went out to eat with a bowl in my hand, and I always dropped the bowl, and I was afraid of being scolded when I went home. Later, the bowls became fewer and fewer, but they were still discovered. ‍‍

I went to a fruit stall to buy apples before, and I picked 5 of them, and asked the boss to weigh them and say, "Three catties and two taels, count you three catties, fifteen yuan." That's when I said

Too many, just two. Then he took out three, and the boss weighed them again and said, "Two catties and one tael, and you can be charged ten yuan."

So I gave the owner of the fruit stall five yuan, took the three apples I had just taken out and turned around and left, and the boss was stunned on the spot.

When I was in junior high school, I was 300 degrees nearsighted, but at that time, I just got glasses, and I didn't want to wear them because I didn't think they looked good. One day I was walking on the road without glasses, and I saw a person walking in front of me, very similar to my uncle, so I ran to him and shouted "Uncle", but when he turned around, I looked and found that it was not my uncle, at that time I didn't even think about it, I continued to run and shout "Uncle", and overtook him, ran to an uncle on the side of the road who was carrying passengers on a motorcycle, and then I took a motorcycle home. ‍‍

When I was in high school, a group of young people in society stopped me from falling into a dead end and wanted to intimidate me. I saw a passerby calling someone to be able to solve the problem.

I was riding my bicycle in a narrow alleyway, and there was a cyclist on the other side, and when I was about to hit it, I suddenly shouted wittily, "You go left, I go right" and we collided gorgeously.

There was a power outage at home, and my mother asked me to go to the property ** to see if there was no power in our home appliance card, I was lazy in the quilt and turned on the mobile phone wifi. There is not a single wifi nearby, Mom. The whole community has a power outage, and it has nothing to do with our family.

Am I a little too witty. ‍‍

I met a primary school girl in school, how simple the relationship is in college, chat and go shopping with her, you don't need to be too rich. Later, I fooled her into coming to my city, looking for a job, starting a family, and having children. When I saw a lot of single dogs around me, I felt that I was too witty at that time. ‍‍

In an exam when I was a student, the classmates next to me peeked at my true/false answers, and I deliberately made a mistake, and when I handed in the test papers, I changed my speed back, and the result came out that he was 1 point short of passing! ‍‍

When I was a child, I went to the Internet café to play, and the public security bureau came to check the ID card, which frightened the boss, and when the police came in, I ran to the bar and said to the boss: Dad, give me 10 yuan. The boss was stunned for a moment, threw 50 yuan at me and shouted at me: Get out! Earn fifty! ‍‍

The most witty thing is that when I was in school, I went to work for a waterproof company during the summer vacation, and I successfully turned the boss's daughter into my own daughter-in-law! ‍‍

My brother got married, went to pick up his relatives, and was blocked at the door by the bride's group of relatives and friends, asking to sign a document of "Husband's Code", but no one in the line of picking up relatives remembered to bring a pen, and they were all blocked at the door without signing. Then I wittily pulled out the Armani 402 in my bag and asked my brother to press a red fingerprint. ‍‍

When I was a child, I scored 18 points on a math test, and I first changed it to 78 and then to 98. When I got home, my dad said that you got a melon baby and scored 78 points in the test, thinking that Lao Tzu couldn't show up? Get out there and have fun! I'm just going to hang out. ‍‍

In a certain class in the second year of junior high school, I had a stomachache like a twist, I couldn't help it, and let out a muffled rotten egg fart. It stinks so much that I don't even believe I put it. And it is very long-lasting, lingering for a long time, and there is a feeling of winding around the beam for three days.

Some classmates couldn't stand it anymore and muttered: Who farted? It stinks!

There was a commotion in the class, which overwhelmed the math teacher who had just joined the work, and could only say helplessly: Everyone, be quiet! Be quiet!

At this time, I took the opportunity to let out two more muffled farts with a thunderous heart but a tidal lake, and then said in a righteous voice: I put it out! I put it!

Don't look for it, let's go to class. With that, I stared at the blackboard with a grim face, and the mechanical pencil in my hand rustled as I took notes. The math teacher gave me a grateful look and continued the lesson. ‍‍