What are the disadvantages of keeping a child with the elderly for a long time?

The unspeakable and even somewhat "unreasonable" love between the next generation is really inexplicable. I often hear friends around me say, "When we were young, my dad never hugged me, and my mom rarely let alone petted me." Taking care of our children now is really spoiled lawlessness, and it is almost time to pick the moon in the sky.

Therefore, children who grow up under this kind of doting are prone to vulnerability, arrogance, and do not know how to share and respect others, and will encounter many setbacks in the process of growing up, of course, they will take more detours than others.

After all, the elderly love their children very much, and they may not be cold or hungry, but their doting will make the children very rebellious.

Children may be affected by the long-term fixed thoughts of the elderly.

Children may have a lot of bad habits when they are placed with the elderly, because the elderly generally dote on their children and do not discipline them strictly.

The elderly are generally not so meticulous with their children, and the children may develop bad habits.

Most of the elderly are not aware of early education, and some people will have negative thoughts such as "dragons give birth to dragons, phoenixes give birth to phoenixes, and rat sons will make holes". Of course, we can't attack them, that's what a lot of people in that era thought. There are also a small number of elderly people who have the idea of early education, but they do not know how to do it effectively.

Of course, it is not advisable to go to an early education institution too early, but if parents are around, do some unconscious parent-child games, and communicate with children in simple language, these will help children develop in all aspects.

Children should stay with their parents and live together, this is a kind of happiness, if the child is always with the grandparents, sometimes it will lead to the misunderstanding of their own parents, which no one wants to see, which will lead to the child's psychological health is not very healthy, resulting in his inability to release his innocence, always isolate himself, which will have bad or even more serious consequences, when living with the grandparents, maybe the grandparents can not find out this kind of thing in time, and delay the time, That's going to be a big mistake.

Children have been separated from their parents for a long time, lack a sense of security, and are prone to form a withdrawn personality. Even if his grandparents give him enough love, it cannot replace the love of this parent-child relationship between parents and children.

In the past, when my parents helped me take care of the children, my mother liked to dance square dance very much, and they would come back very late when they went, and they would definitely take their little granddaughter with them every night, and this atmosphere would not be okay for a long time, but if it was like this every day, the impact on the children was also very bad, resulting in other people's children reading their favorite books and listening to their favorite stories at home every night, they stayed in the square every day, and came back late and slept late, which caused a vicious circle of not getting up in the morning. Such a habit of life is also bad.

After all, the old man is an old man, although he is old, but his intelligence is slowly degrading, some of his behaviors are sometimes unnatural to do, for the elderly, his knowledge is lacking, they do not have a certain amount of time to contact the new things of the society, do not have the ability to feel the new development of the society, for the child is a lack, over time, the child will also lack the discovery of the society, the lack of the discovery of their own creativity, the lack of a certain hands-on ability.

Among the parents of the older generation, there are some who have a higher level of education, and there are also some who are illiterate, and in any case, they must be higher than those of us young people, or the education level of our generation is generally higher. For example, what children's books do we know are good? Which picture books are classic?

And what kind of books have been released for children recently? Many young parents in modern times are more concerned, and grandparents may not pay much attention to it. Knowing this, we will naturally find these books to read with our children, which is much better than children who go out with their elders and square dance every day.

Many grandparents are very doting on their grandchildren, afraid of hunger, afraid of freezing, afraid of melting in their mouths, which leads to the emergence of a lot of little emperors and princesses in society, food to open their mouths, clothes to stretch their hands, this is very dangerous, once they grow up to the society, others are not as pampered as grandparents, they will be depressed, there are shadows, and some grandparents, especially some left-behind children's families, their own family burden, work is too late, how can there be time to take care of children, This has caused the fact that there is no care for what should be managed, and there is no time to manage it, and there will be more problems for children in such families in the future.

There should be no comparison between the environment in which the elders were educated when they were young and what they are now. After all, the general living conditions at that time were still relatively poor. The child did not get anything better, and this kind of material enjoyment is not better, this kind of family superior conditions, so there is no better pursuit of life goals.

So you don't have to expect anything extravagantly.

One. Today's children's family conditions are very good and they have not suffered anything, so because they enjoy this superior condition, they will become very vain, and once they lose something, they will be very impatient, and even just want to live better and compare with each other. So once you get a little rough education, you will have a very strong rebellious mentality.

Two. Only after suffering. He will cherish the happy life now, and will know that the happy life is not easy to come by, but he has not suffered hardship, he soaks in sugar water every day, then he will feel that my current life should be like this, if I live a little harder, I can't accept it, especially if I didn't study well in the past, my parents beat it, he will feel that I should study hard, in order to get rid of the current poverty days, and make my life better.

Therefore, I will work harder, and I will not dislike my parents, and I will not complain about psychological problems because my parents beat me.

Three. In the past, children had no entertainment, no pastime, no mobile phones to play, and nothing to spend time, so just watching a TV is already a luxury, and even some families don't even have a TV, so these children don't feel the fun of this kind of amusement, the joy that games bring to themselves, and do they feel the sci-fi feeling of the existence of this wireless network of mobile phones? So give him something delicious and fun, and he is very satisfied, and for this purpose, he works hard to learn, and now the child.

It's all there, and. Many games, including family conditions, are very good, and they can't be satisfied with a little food and fun. Jian stopped so he couldn't coax him with this little thing, I didn't study or I didn't study.

Therefore, the parents are angry and do not listen.

It is a good thing for the elderly to help their children in life, which solves the living conditions of many small white-collar workers, such as being able to eat different kinds of meals every day, without having to do household hygiene, and saving a lot of trivial and cumbersome things. However, the old man cannot spoil his little grandson, give what he wants, and do not accept criticism from anyone. Many parents know that it is definitely not good for the elderly to spoil their children so much, but they can't tell how bad it is for their children.

For the sake of family harmony, they can only turn a blind eye. As parents of children, they often do not know how to deal with the situation, they cannot argue with the elderly, they cannot discipline the children well.

Some parents, in order to please their children and let them stand on their side, will give their children delicious and fun, take him to play games, watch TV, and eat fried chicken. If this continues, the child will "stand" on your side, but it will become very utilitarian. As soon as you can't get something out of it, you'll be further and further away and won't "listen" to you.

When he grows up, the utilitarianism of "quick success" may accompany him for the rest of his life.

When a child makes a mistake and is reprimanded by his mother, parents who are not used to it often blurt out: "Go, go back to grandma's house, don't pay attention to my mother, my mother is not good!" "Instilling such a concept in children from an early age not only sets a bad example for children, but also makes children feel that grandma's house is a refuge from training.

As long as you don't want to do your homework, you don't want to clean, you don't want to eat, you can go to your grandmother's house. If it continues for a long time, it will lead to the child's inner escape, unable to face the problem directly, solve the problem, and is not conducive to the child's growth.

Remember: the elderly are not babysitters. Although he loves children, he has no obligation to take care of them.

If you want to give your baby a good education and a good future, parents should take care of their children, communicate with the elderly, and take their children to see their grandparents. If you have to live with the elderly, and you can't avoid the elderly taking children, it is best to make rules, make rules, and sit down to talk to the elderly. The thousand-year-old terrier of the elderly with children will gradually dissolve.

The establishment of parental authority is the foundation of a child's education. Reach a family consensus and form a joint force for children's education. Avoid confusion and ensure that children's education is orderly.

Our purpose is not to stop the previous generation from taking children, but to keep the previous generation on the same channel as us and work hard to educate the next generation, which requires our common wisdom and efforts. If the elderly in the family are still learning every day and keeping up with the times despite retirement. He was more enlightened and intelligent in the education of children.

He can use his life's social experience, wisdom and education to inspire the next generation. It's really an old family. If there is a treasure, it is the happiness of the child, the happiness of the whole family.

In this way, it will lead to some limitations in the child's growth, and it is also likely to lead to the child's incorrect three views, and it will also affect the child's self-care ability and independence, and it is likely to cause the child to be very doting or very selfish, and it will also lead to the child's special insecurity.

Personally, I think that the elderly with children may cause children to be relatively squeamish, children are easy to develop inertia, and the elderly are more doting children, the thinking of the elderly and the current thinking is still different, which is not conducive to the development of children's physical and mental health.

Letting the elderly take care of children may have some bad effects on children because of some different educational concepts, may cultivate some bad habits in children, and may make children not good enough in terms of politeness. Let children's minds not keep up with the pace of social development.

The elderly with children will definitely give children some pampered bad habits, because the elderly with children must be more spoiled, for the children's requirements will be as much as possible to meet, if the child is not with the parents for a long time, the child will also lack father's love and mother's love, psychological development is not sound.

The living habits are unhealthy, Mandarin is not spoken well, many of the living habits of the elderly are outdated, and many elderly people do not speak Mandarin, only dialects.

If you have children, you must not hand them over to your grandparents to raise, sometimes it's really outrageous, and the next generation is really too doting and refuses to share.

Children have a selfish side that they don't know how to share, and when parents buy their children what they like, children will be careful to protect them and are reluctant to let others touch them. Especially some snacks, even if you can't finish them, you are reluctant to share them with children.

During this period, the child's "self" consciousness is very strong, and parents should guide their children well, otherwise it will be more difficult for parents to change when the child has developed a habit. When parents buy snacks for their children, they can think of themselves as the sharers and the baby as the takers. When children have this strong feeling of wanting to eat and play, parents often have a very good effect in educating them.

3. Don't know how to be polite.

Parents' love for their children is inclusive and does not ask for anything in return, many parents love their children too much, and do not see the ability of their children to grow up, the ability to continue to learn, and still take care of the baby as before, it is very easy for the baby to appear seriously dependent on the parents.

And these children are often at home, lawless. If parents do not properly nurture their children's early independence, it is because parents are too doting on their children. What's more, some parents do not pay attention to the principle of satisfying all the requirements of their children, which often makes their children appear to be indifferent to outsiders, do not know how to be grateful, and appear impolite.

Children's growth, need parents every moment of help and care, and children's emotions are very sensitive, parents in the education of children, must insist on themselves, do not feel sorry for the child, and the baby has to respond, this excessive doting, often let the child become a lifelong bad habit, so that the baby's life is deeply affected.

Fostering a child with an older person, or having an elderly person take care of the child, may bring many benefits, such as providing opportunities for both parties to care for and accompany each other. However, this can also come with some drawbacks, which include:

1.Physical condition of the elderly: The elderly may have certain physical limitations, such as lack of physical strength, difficulty in moving, vision loss, etc., which makes the elderly with children may require a lot of physical strength and energy, which may affect their health.

2.Generation gap with children: The generation gap between the elderly and children is relatively large, which may lead to poor communication and inability to understand children's thoughts and needs, which can affect the care and education of children.

3.Different ways of raising people: With the changes of the times, the ways and views of the elderly may be different from those of modern ones, which may lead to differences and conflicts between the concepts, habits and behaviors of the elderly and their children.

4.Affect the parent-child relationship: If the elderly are left to take care of the child for a long time, it may affect the parent-child relationship, the child may develop a dependency mentality, and the intimate relationship with the parents may be affected.

In short, allowing the elderly to take care of their children needs to take into account all factors, and should be fully communicated and consulted, constantly adapted and improved, maintained good communication and understanding, and provided appropriate support and care.