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The relationship between the mother-in-law is not very good, but it is relatively good, although she has been wronged, but she is also an example for the children
On the issue of parenting, the main contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are concentrated in:
Opinions on the way of education and educational goals are different, the general old people are their grandchildren, granddaughters are pampered in every way, thinking that the children are still young, to coax to come, what the children want, food and clothing everywhere to take care of in place. Most mothers think that children should not be so pampered and learn to be independent as soon as possible, of course, there are a very small number of grandmothers who want their children to be independent, and mothers are too fond of their children;
Both parties believe that they have given a lot to their children and should have the right to educate them;
When both parties are interrupted or stopped by the other party when educating their children, they will think that their contributions to the children are not respected by the other party. This situation mostly occurs in mothers-in-law, who think that their daughter-in-law does not respect themselves.
Father's lack and inaction on the issue of children's education.
In response to the above problems, there are naturally the following solutions:
Both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should respect each other's efforts for the child and understand the way the other party loves the child.
When there is a conflict, both parties should deal with their emotions, avoid positive conflicts, and communicate in a timely manner afterwards.
The daughter-in-law should take good care of her mother-in-law when she is sick, ask for warmth, and let her mother-in-law feel the daughter-in-law's care and respect for her, and be comforted spiritually.
The husband should highlight his role in the family, mediate the relationship between his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and at the same time must express his position on the issue of children's education, and cannot be ambiguous.
The mother-in-law should recognize the importance of the daughter-in-law to the family, the daughter-in-law is the wife of the son, the mother of the grandson, and is more tolerant of the daughter-in-law; Communicate and discuss with your daughter-in-law more about your child's education.
Set educational goals together, try to be unanimous, or agree in writing.
Division of labor and cooperation, mutual cooperation.
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1. Respect to save face:
First of all, as a daughter-in-law, you must respect your mother-in-law, after all, your mother-in-law is an elder, her husband's mother, and she is also half of her mother.
The old man's strength is nothing more than love face, fighting for a face, hoping that his daughter-in-law will respect herself, listen to her own words, obey herself, and make the old man happy for the sake of family harmony, and it is nothing to listen to them say a few more words or count a few words. Especially in front of her husband, she must give her mother-in-law enough face, don't embarrass her husband, if you embarrass your husband, your mother-in-law will be even more angry.
2. Speak and act decently
There is a strong mother-in-law, not necessarily an unreasonable mother-in-law, strong people are generally more capable, more strict with themselves, and more strict with others, so as a daughter-in-law, she must also learn to be strict with herself, said.
Words and things must be accounted for, and to be decent, so that even if the mother-in-law is strong, it can't be good, if it is not right for herself, the mother-in-law counts herself, and feels that the mother-in-law is strong, that is, she needs to reflect.
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What a strong mother-in-law is most afraid of: don't be weak.
There may be many times when a strong mother-in-law just wants to show her status at home and tell you that she is still in charge of this family. There may be many times when we think that a little weakness can make the mother-in-law restrain her strong behavior, but in fact, it may not be the case, the weaker the stronger the mother-in-law, the more it can arouse her strong psychology. So sometimes, if the mother-in-law doesn't do it right, we can say it appropriately, don't be blindly weak.
How to deal with a strong mother-in-law: Don't come hard.
In fact, today's daughters-in-law are generally not easy to mess with, and young people also have their own tempers, but if you meet a strong mother-in-law, you must not be tough. Maybe many times it is true that the mother-in-law can't see a lot of things she does, and she can't stand it and wants to lose her temper, which will make the relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law more tense, so don't let yourself become strong because the mother-in-law is too strong, so that there may only be a war every day in the family, what is the strong mother-in-law most afraid of: I heard you say husband.
What is more important to the mother-in-law is definitely her own son, and it is her son who cares the most at all times. So don't say your husband in front of your mother-in-law at any time, even if it's just a joke, it's even more unbearable for a strong mother-in-law, in case she is unhappy, then it must be another storm. Your husband loves you, and even if you do something wrong, don't tell your mother-in-law.
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The mother-in-law has too many eyes, and she fights openly and secretly. When your mother-in-law has a lot of eyes, and you don't find out, she will fight you openly and secretly, so that you are wronged for no reason, and even your husband doesn't believe you, when a woman meets such a mother-in-law, she should make a move, and she must not let herself be humiliated like this without knowing it, and if necessary, throw the problem to your husband to see how he deals with it, if he is like your mother-in-law, then you have to leave him without nostalgia and give him back to his mother.
The personality of the mother-in-law depends on the husband's attitude towards marriage. In fact, in life, your mother-in-law always hides her character, and the longer you get along, her character will be hidden, and she will be unscrupulous in front of you, which will make life very helpless, of course, her personality will affect your married life, especially depending on your husband's attitude towards marriage.
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not compatible, and the family has no peace. When the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law do not get along, it will make the family troubleless, and this life will not only affect your married life, but also affect the way your husband and wife get along, and let your life be involved in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, not to mention, it will also go to the point of no return.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is harmonious, and the family is happy. In family life, as long as the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law gets along, your family will be more happy, your life will be happy, a family is indispensable to the intervention of mother-in-law, to skillfully resolve the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the most important, so marriage should also have a great relationship with your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
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1. Treat others in their own way.
When in life, reasoning with your in-laws doesn't make sense at all, then women don't force themselves to reason with their in-laws anymore, this path is no longer feasible. Women must learn to treat others in the way of others, in this case, women must learn to be tough in order to suppress their in-laws, so that their in-laws can have a sense of awe for you.
2. My son's feelings.
Don't say bad things about your mother-in-law in front of your husband, don't say anything about your mother-in-law behind your back, no matter what you say or not, your husband will be unhappy. It is also unwise to be angry with your mother-in-law and then show your husband's face, you pretend to be pitiful than give him a face.
3. No noise, no noise.
Face. The vicious words to the mother-in-law are changed to most women who can't stand it, and want to hate each other. It's understandable that I can't stand the vicious mouth of my mother-in-law, but if you want to solve the problem and resolve the conflict, this kind of quarrel will only add to the rift and will not do any good.
The best way to deal with quarrels is actually to let the mother-in-law be unreasonable, no matter how obedient the husband is, he will feel annoyed.
4. Have your own income.
If the mother-in-law is too aggressive, and the daughter-in-law is not going to tolerate her. At this time, the daughter-in-law should pay attention to the most important thing to use less of her mother-in-law's money. Many daughters-in-law don't go to work by themselves, they rely on their husbands to support, and even rely on their parents-in-law to raise their heads, such daughters-in-law can't hold their heads up, if the daughter-in-law has her own income, then she has the confidence to talk to her in-laws.
5. Keep your distance.
For a smart woman, to deal with this kind of strong, unreasonable mother-in-law must learn to keep a distance, stay away from her, even if the conditions are worse, you must live separately, and you can't live with your in-laws.
6. Give her face.
Now although there is no need to follow what three from the four virtues, but the basic etiquette still has to be followed, the old man is strong is nothing more than love face, fight for a face, hope that the daughter-in-law respects herself, listens to her own words, obeys herself, for the sake of family harmony, let the old man be happy, listen to them a few more words or count a few words is nothing.
In the face of a strong mother-in-law, we still have to adjust our mentality, I hope the above six points can help you.
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Unsuccessful first separation will directly lead to emotional attachment and interdependence between mother and child.
In particular, the mother's psychological immaturity or emotional setbacks, such as divorce, betrayal, widowhood, family accidents, etc., may cause the mother to focus on the child and pay full attention to the child's every movement.
Children are also miserable, and in the face of a perfect, strict mother, they are also prone to develop an "attachment personality" or "cringe personality", that is, they are attached to their mother and do not want to grow up or not grow up.
The failure of the first separation laid the groundwork for the second separation of the children - marriage and starting a family.
If the first separation is unsuccessful, the mother will feel abandoned by the child after marriage or from the beginning of the relationship, and the child will also develop "newlywed anxiety" - not adapting to married life, and subconsciously expecting the wife to play the dual role of wife and mother.
This is a very red flag!
The mother wants to return to the situation where her son was attached to her alone, but the reality does not allow it, and the mother's behavior appears "degenerating" - emotionally changeable, fragile, sensitive, etc.
In fact, the psychology of "behavioral degradation" of mothers needs "son's attention"!
In the question of how to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the role of the son is crucial, which is not only a problem between the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law, but also a "triangular relationship".
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1.Distinguish the boundaries Even relatives must draw a clear line, let alone a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. The wife should understand her role and role, and the mother-in-law should also understand what her role should be in the family.
Both sides do their own thing, don't interfere too much. 2.Don't expect too high standards First of all, we must recognize that a mother-in-law is a mother-in-law, after all, she is not a mother, and a daughter-in-law is not a daughter.
Mother-in-law will not be able to understand your various living habits and tolerate your various small shortcomings like mother. Nowadays, many young people hope that their mother-in-law can help take care of their children and take care of the family, but they also don't want their mother-in-law to dictate their lives. Mother-in-law is not selfless for you, so if sometimes mother-in-law doesn't want to help you, there is no need to complain and blame too much.
3.Respect but not submission Respect is essential, mother-in-law is an elder, and at the same time, it is also a manifestation of respect for her husband. When we make some decisions, we can also try to take the initiative to ask my mother-in-law's opinion.
Of course, respect does not mean that everything should be subservient. When the mother-in-law makes some "vexatious" requests, it is necessary to weigh whether this is within the scope of her own principles. If you exceed the bottom line, you can turn around through your husband.
There is no need to do something against your will in order to show respect for the elderly and filial piety, these grievances are likely to break out in the end, which may be even more detrimental to the relationship between husband and wife. 4.Understanding Mother-in-law's Taboos What are the taboos of mother-in-law?
How much do you know as a daughter-in-law? Everyone has their own principles, usually pay attention to words and deeds, the eldest lady's temper naturally has to be collected in front of her mother-in-law, and she must not challenge her mother-in-law's bottom line.
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Mother-in-law is an extremely important person in the family, and their presence has a crucial impact on the stability of a family. In the process of getting along, due to the large difference in age and experience, it is easy to have some friction, especially when the mother-in-law is stronger, how to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has become a topic that must be faced.
The first thing to be clear about is that when dealing with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the principle that needs to be followed is to be as peaceful as possible. This means that we cannot complain or attack each other's strengths and weaknesses, let alone respond emotionally to each other's excessive demands or commands.
Secondly, the exchange giver is the key to resolving the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. When dealing with a strong mother-in-law, we need to be open like friends and talk about problems honestly. Listen to each other's feelings and respect each other's positions.
In communication, we can show our concern and love by asking and showing our interest and support.
At the same time, we need to set the right boundaries and be firm in our attitudes. This does not mean that we should stand up to our mother-in-law or take a tough stance, on the contrary, we should appear confident and frank when it comes to selectively expressing our wishes and ideas. Provide rational reflection and solutions to problems in conversations.
Finally, maintain the relationship by being grateful for your mother-in-law's teaching and support. Mother-in-law is an important role in the family, and they have provided us with a lot of indispensable support and forward-looking thinking as we grow up, and by seeing ourselves as mother-in-law's children, and giving motherly love and reciprocation based on this, we are more able to reduce conflicts.
In the face of a strong mother-in-law, proper communication and care can avoid conflicts, and building a good mother-in-law relationship will also make your life happier and more satisfying.
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Look at your wife is also a college student, the quality is too low, you are the same as me, she followed you when she was not married, it doesn't matter what happens, we will have everything when we slowly struggle, and then hurt you and your family again and again, forcing an old mother to die, sad or yourself, the old mother said that you married your wife and forgot your mother, and the wife said that you are not capable, he will keep saying that you are dead, I don't believe you try, there will be more and more, and finally you will only have a shell left, you can get by, Husbands and wives are eating together, so why not understand their husbands. Brother, sympathize.
There are several ways to solve the above problems:
1. Understand why disharmony occurs. >>>More
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been a sensitive topic, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is different in every family. A good mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship is as close as a mother and daughter, and a bad mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship is like fire and water. It can be said that getting along with mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a kind of knowledge, which requires us to be careful. >>>More
1. Respect each other and think more about each other.
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