Why do older people always think that it is unfilial to take care of their children?

<> whether children are filial or not is reflected in their words and deeds, as well as in the evaluation of them by their parents and those around them. However, there are corresponding biases in any subjective evaluation. There is no absolute quantitative standard for filial piety or non-filial piety, and it is more of a perceptual understanding of parents.

Older parents think that their children are unfilial, maybe it's a reality, maybe it's an illusion. When I am old and lonely, I hope that my children will spend more time with me, demand more from my children, and even complain more about my children. This does not mean that the children are not filial.

Therefore, when dealing with the elderly, children should be more patient, more accommodating, and more accommodating. Healing the loneliness in their hearts may be the more important job.

Because being taken care of by others, it is not as ideal as they think, so there will be a disappointment and gap, and secondly, there is no filial piety in front of the bed for a long time, and taking care of the elderly is a very patient thing, and it is also very consuming, so many children will also lose patience and have impatience in attitude.

Because taking care of your children is in front of you every day, you may have all kinds of dissatisfaction, and the children who don't take care of you are not around, and you can't find fault if you want to.

After all, it's not an age group, and the requirements for your daughters will be higher. Moreover, young people nowadays are generally stressed and busy, and they should understand each other.

That's a person without quality. My parents, father-in-law and mother-in-law all think that they are taking care of their hard work, and they express praise and satisfaction in words.

Because staying together for a long time, many shortcomings will be shown, and there will be a lot of friction together.

Question 1: Parents need to pay attention to parents need to pay attention to this problem, many people do not understand this problem very well, in fact, this problem is not difficult to understand, parents have been busy since we were born, taking care of our life and study, when we start to work, after our parents retire, it seems that they feel useless.

That's why parents need to pay attention to the problem, a person doesn't think about a lot of problems when he's busy, but because he stops all of a sudden, he has time to think, and his children feel more lonely because they are not around because of work, so older parents need to pay attention.

Question 2: Are children unfilial? Many children are not unfilial, it is a problem of way, some children give money to their parents, and feel that if their parents have a good material life, their parents will be very happy, and some children choose to accompany, there is nothing wrong with the way and method, but it depends on what the elderly need more?

In fact, what the elderly need most is companionship, because only companionship can make the elderly feel not lonely, so when you think that you can use money to make the elderly feel that they can live happily in old age, you are wrong.

Question 3: How to accompany effectively? Many people don't get the word effective companionship right, either going home for a meal, or playing a ** or effective companionship. The most effective companionship is to allow the elderly to have access to your information every day, **, go home for dinner, etc.

Therefore, it is not enough to be accompanied, it is necessary to be effectively accompanied, go home to eat, talk to the elderly, and ask the elderly about the daily arrangements and situations, so that the elderly will feel that they are not lonely or lonely.

Problem summaryThe old man will feel very lonely when he is older, because his children have a life, work and their own feelings, and it is impossible to accompany the old man 24 hours a day, but as long as they understand what they should do, it will be good to treat the elderly more together, and the old man will feel at ease, the above are my personal views and thoughts, for reference only.

Because children do not have time to spend with their parents, do not buy some food for their parents, and do not honor their parents properly, parents will think that their children are unfilial.

This is because when children take care of themselves, they are always unable to obey their own will, and sometimes they will quarrel with themselves.

Because they are old and confused, their minds are not clear, and due to modern technology, there are many ways to be filial, but the concept of the elderly is still very traditional.

The times are different, take my grandmother as an example, she often used the filial piety of the old society to evaluate her children, thinking that filial piety is to eat, he should be allowed to eat his children first, eat the rest of her left, and when he is sick, he has to serve without undressing, and the old man can not refute what he said to do it immediately. As a generation, I have a profound experience, and I am often called to slip around and lack skills, and as a child, I am afraid that I don't even have a trace of my own time.

The reasons why children cannot be too filial to the elderly are:

Children who are excessively filial to the elderly will make them restless and unacceptable. The relationship between people is very delicate, you can't get too close, you can see each other's shortcomings if you are too close, and you can't be too far away, and if you are too far away, you will be alienated from each other. This illustrates the old saying:

There is a limit to everything, and it is too much.

Some children understand that it is not easy for their parents to pull themselves, and they take care of the elderly after they have a chance, but this kind of self-righteous practice of honoring the elderly will make the elderly uncomfortable. Honoring the elderly does not necessarily mean taking care of the elderly, everyone has their own life circle, not to mention the elderly who have been in one place for decades.

Therefore, filial children want to take the old man to their side, but the old man is not "happy", always thinking that the better it is for the old man, let them live with him, he will be happy, but in fact, this is not the case. If you are truly filial to the elderly and be good to them, you should respect their choices, ask their opinions, and then choose how to take care of them.

The right attitude of children towards the elderly

1. Take the initiative to communicate with the elderly. Usually talk to the elderly at home about the children's affairs or some things at work, and talk to the elderly about psychology, so that the elderly can understand their inner thoughts.

2. Learn to respect the elderly. Fully respect the elderly's own ideas and considerations, that is to say, what kind of life the elderly want to live, the support and cooperation of the children is enough.

3. Be more tolerant of the elderly. We don't have to worry about it, because our parents are the people who love us the most, and they are also the people we love the most.

4. Learn to understand the elderly. It is very undesirable to analyze and consider problems from the perspective of the elderly, not just to be selfish, but only to consider one's own interests and ideas.

5. Always "contain" the elderly in their hearts. Don't just do some "face engineering", it looks good, but the old people still can't feel happiness and warmth in their hearts, and their children only really have the old people in their hearts, so even if they are not by the old man's side, the happiness of the old man will not be "missing".

Nowadays, more and more parents feel that their children are not very filial to themselves, and even a little disgusted with themselves: they want to live together, but they want to live independently; I asked to go home often, but they said they were busy; asked to bring his grandson back more on Saturdays and Sundays, but said that his grandson wanted to learn art ......In conclusion, many parents feel unvalued, unwanted, or even abandoned. So, silently asked yourself:

If you can't count on your children in the elderly, then what's the point of working so hard to raise them in the first place?

Why do you have such doubts?

1) Ideology cannot keep up with the development of the times. Many parents' family concepts are still stuck in the traditional family life of the past, where several generations live together, lively and vibrant. But now young people pursue an independent life, especially after work, they don't want to be with too many people all day long, don't want to take care of too many people's feelings, and just want to live a small family life, so that they can really take off their masks, do what they want to do comfortably and easily, and meet the people they want to meet.

2) Failure to empathize with the child's difficulties. Nowadays, the competition in the workplace is fierce, and young people are more stressed in life, and they are indeed busy. However, many parents only pay attention to their own feelings and fail to really demand them from their children's reality, resulting in mutual misunderstanding and even resentment.

3) Failure to consider the issue of parenting from the perspective of social needs. In order for human beings to continue and society to develop, it is necessary to reproduce future generations. Therefore, raising children is not only a personal matter for parents, but also related to society and human development.

4) Individual children do lack filial piety to their parents. It is true that some children are not considerate of their parents and fail to honor their parents to the best of their ability, especially some young people who have just come out of the countryside dislike their parents' undignified clothing and from time to time trouble them and ask for money, thus increasing their burden.

So what should parents do?

1) It is necessary to change the ideological concept and adapt to the development of the times. When conditions permit, try to respect your children's independent living, give them more private space, and let yourself fly freely.

2) Use the Internet to pay more attention to the work of your children. In this way, you can not only understand the joys and pains of their work, but also lay the foundation for meeting in the future and having a common language, which can be described as killing two birds with one stone.

3) It is necessary to enhance ideological understanding. Children are not the private property of our parents, they are not only the children of our parents, but also the members of society, and it is the responsibility of our parents and society to raise our children well.

Society still needs to develop, and humanity still needs to continue. Parents should raise their children well, children should be filial to their parents, and they should understand and support each other more, so that society will become more and more harmonious and mankind will become more and more beautiful.

Because they feel like they're giving a lot and not getting what they want in return.

01 The elderly are burn-resistant and virtuous, and their families are prosperous. The old man is not virtuous, and the disaster is even the family. If an old man has moral character and thoughts, then the family will not be too bad, but gradually prosper.

And if an old man does not have moral character, then the family will suffer. The old man, in fact, is not only the elder of the family, but also the fixing needle of a family, leading the development of a family and making the family more and more beautiful and happy. However, we should also realize that since there are elderly people in this world who are beneficial to the family, there must also be elderly people who are involved in the family.

What can we do about the latter? Many people think that the old man who is pretentious should be tolerated in time, listen to them, at least maintain his filial piety, and insist on his filial piety. In fact, being too tolerant and too stupid is not a good thing, but a bad thing.

Because of the consequences of forbearance, they can only be stepped on again and again, and even some unreasonable old people will gain an inch. As a child, you can be filial, but you can't be foolish. As a descendant, you can be grateful, but you can't be blind, so you lose your own opinions and become someone else's puppet.

In the family, in the face of those pretentious old people, our best course of action is not to endure it again and again, but to choose to do so. 02 In the face of the pretentious old man, you should keep a certain distance from him. We have to think about a question, why do some elderly people do this way, even inch in, regardless of the life or death of their children?

Because the child is too close to the elderly, the elderly have the psychology of "being bullied when they see familiarity". And this kind of psychology is actually a very normal human thought. From a psychological point of view, if you get too close to a person, then you will lose your curiosity and vigilance against him.

At this time, he will choke you to death, leaving you with no room to turn. Take the relationship between father and son as an example, at this moment, the old man was rather confused, but he did not do anything "pretentious". However, the son became closer to his father and completely obeyed his father's words.

In the next moment, the old man who was not pretentious, he would rely on the old man in front of his son, and take this behavior as a habit. At all times, we must understand that getting too close to the Changsha people is not a kind of affection, but a disaster. Even for our parents, we have to keep a certain distance from them, preferably "a bowl of chicken soup".

In this way, it can not only maintain the deep kinship relationship, but also make the family less quarrelsome and more harmonious.