What happened to those who were not good to their children when they got old?

My grandfather was a dad who would use his off-duty time to go fishing in the mountains to nourish the hungry children, and go to the pork shop to buy bones that others didn't want to go home and boil bone oil to increase the nutrition of the children. However, while paying attention to material and physique, he is a father with a flawed personality who exerts unnecessary psychological pressure on his family for a long time. When the child is young, he likes to beat with sticks, and when he grows up, he often scolds.

It has had a very serious impact on my mother and three siblings. led to character flaws in three people and the ensuing misfortunes in life. He is now in his eighties, and his children are too preoccupied with their own misfortunes.

Only my mom went back to see him regularly and take care of him, but she didn't want to stay long. My uncle left home and wandered without a trace, and my aunt was eager to get ahead and fell into a pyramid scheme and was collected for debts, and she couldn't visit him during the Chinese New Year. Although others look at him very miserable, he is still quite calm, he has no appeal to the children, and he does not expect the care of the children, he feels that it is painful, we want to take him to the hospital, he resolutely does not go, saying that it is fate.

Personality determines perspectives, perceptions, and destinies. It doesn't matter if parents don't have expectations for their children, and don't want the warmth of old age and decay. But if you can't stand the loneliness of a person and still yearn for warmth, try to be a lovely person, a warm person.

There is an uncle in the village, when he was young, he didn't care about his family, and never took the money he earned outside home for his wife and children, and often beat and scolded the aunt and children for owing money outside. If there is anything delicious, he never takes it home to his wife and children, he is alone outside, and he doesn't pay for eating outside, so he asks his wife to settle the bill, the main thing is that their family conditions are not good. The aunt went out to work when she was cold, and she took the children to say goodbye for about ten years before coming back.

After coming back, the uncle was still unrepentant, and it was the same as before, the children of the aunt's family beat the uncle with a bench, and then almost half of the people in our village knew that the uncle was not good, and the uncle's relatives and friends had a number of him, and everyone said behind his back that he was not good at this person, and he was almost fifty or sixty years old, without economic **, and his life was very embarrassing. The last child in the end called his mom and his dad for divorce. One day in the countryside to go to the market, the uncle knelt on the road and did not want a divorce, saying that if he wanted a divorce, he let his son beat him to death on the road.

Later, the marriage was still not divorced, and the uncle went to work on the construction site after reforming, but fell from the high-rise building on the construction site. became a fool, and there are still two dents in the brain. Then he returned to the original image of a rotten person, and the family suffered.

After the 80s, there are basically one or two how bad there are, I am 92 years old in the fifth, the old lady gave birth to me at the age of 44, I don't feel which family is bad for the children, I must fight, I should do it, if you want to say it, I will say my daughter, my sister is 49 this year, she was born in the years, the first daughter in the village died, she survived alone, my sister 8 years old received a cow from the production brigade to take care of her to eat and drink, not a day of reading, 14 years old secretly with other big girls to learn tailoring, 17 years old to go to Fujian alone, Married at the age of 22, divorced by my uncle tied at the door for a day, and then built a building at home, I was born in a big drought at home, a person carried water and mud with me, my boss did not fight Hefei to do the project lost more than 100,000 yuan, a person silently helped him pay off his debts for several years. When the old man left, she cried the most, and now she basically came back three or four times a year to accompany the old lady, asking her if she hated, only to blame for not reading to her, when I remember my old man still casually picked up one and beat it, I have not seen a dare to lose his temper with his parents at the door of my house.

You may not believe it when you say it, but those who are not good to their children are basically forgiven and forgiven by their children when they are old.

There is an elderly person in our community. In the past, it was okay to beat her children to death. Of the three children, the eldest ran away from home because he couldn't stand the violence and has not been found so far.

The family was shocked, and the old lady's attitude changed from then on. The second and third are in a state of submissive behavior towards their mothers, the second is only more than a year older than the old and the youngest, and they are more poisoned than the little third child at that time. So when he grew up, the second child only went home for the New Year.

The third child is responsible for supporting the elderly.

Look how bad it is, I'm basically out of friendship with my mother, and if nothing else, there will be no intersection in the future. And I don't care about her from the bottom of my heart. So I probably wouldn't know about her old age and wouldn't want to know.

I have seen that I have deprived my children of their property, and I have lived a very good life, and I have no retribution for taking my children's medical money to eat meat every day, and I live in a mansion, and my children cannot sue their parents.

Guo Moruo has been married many times, and he is not very good for his married wife. In his later years, he relied on reminiscing about his son who died early to live a very bleak life. None of his children would admit that it was his child.

The old man is not virtuous, and the family is in trouble; Children are not filial and have no good fortune. I hate those immoral and selfish old people the most, they are old and sick, they don't care about it, they don't treat them well, and they are afraid that their children will learn badly.

I think most of these elderly people have been sent to nursing homes by their children.

No matter what they do to me in the future, I try not to trouble them, and several of our aunts are already preparing for self-care in the future.

Filial piety, material support, emotional avoidance, and when he dies and enters the earth, the father and son are exhausted.

I don't know how to judge whether the old man is good to us, my own parents are very good to me, but their good is a burden on my life, in-laws, anyway, I never care about my and my husband's feelings, and I haven't considered our family, but on the bright side, it's very good to my husband's brother's family, and I try to help us as soon as possible (secretly), so I really don't know how to judge what is good or not, my own mother is a little bit of a symptom of old lady's dementia, my mother-in-law is now seriously ill, and my mother-in-law's family is in a bad mood, My mom was worried about me again, so it made a little bit of an impact, alas, it's really impossible to judge.

My father-in-law is extremely selfish, and now he is 89 years old, and although the child hates him, he still cares about him.

Summary. It must be raised, the son and daughter are each responsible for half, and the elderly who are so eccentric can only give food and shelter without money, and the children have the responsibility of supporting their parents, and the daughter who marries out is also the child of their parents, and the burden of the only child is greater, and the burden of having brothers and sisters is much better. As a child, don't worry about "the old man's is not".

They know in their hearts who is good for them, but they can't let go of it. It is good to support the elderly with a clear conscience, and family affection cannot be measured by material things. If the elderly feel pressured in life, they can formally talk to other brothers and sisters, explain the situation, share the maintenance obligation, and agree on who will give more to the obligation, and the elderly will have the right to share more inheritance after leaving.

This is a legitimate solution to the problem.

No, it doesn't. You've done a great job! Can you elaborate on that?

It must be raised, the son and daughter are each responsible for half, and the old man who is so eccentric can only give food and shelter without money, and the child has the responsibility of supporting his parents, and the daughter who marries out is also the child of the parents, and the burden of the only child is greater, and the burden of having brothers and sisters is much better. As a child, don't worry about "the old man's is not". They know in their hearts who is good to them, but they can't let go of it.

It is good to support the elderly with a clear conscience, and family affection cannot be measured by material things. If the elderly feel pressured in life, they can formally talk to other brothers and sisters, explain the situation, share the maintenance obligations, and agree on who will fulfill their obligations and contribute more, and the elderly will have the right to share more inheritance after leaving. This is a legitimate solution to the problem.

Prove that they have high emotional intelligence, and people with high emotional intelligence are very good at disguising themselves, but they can also behave well in front of others for the sake of their children.

In all things, it is necessary to cultivate children's autonomy and self-reliance. It should be considered more rational. It is also a form of their love for you, if you don't accept or understand, you can find an opportunity to communicate with your parents. ‍‍

Maybe I should answer the deep responsibility of love! How can a normal parent not love their children, no matter how good other people's children are, they are also someone else's! Be polite to others, this is what you call being good to others and being casual with yourself, knowing everything and saying everything, this is not good for yourself?

We should learn to empathize, and if it is true, then we should learn to examine ourselves. ‍‍

In fact, how can there be parents who are not good to their children, it's just that you think too much in your heart, and being good to others is superficial, and it's best for your children to have something.

I was also more distressed, and after seeing many people replying that it was all an illusion, I really wanted to slap them and ask them if it hurt. I feel that this kind of parents' way of doing things is more deformed, and most of them are parents with low education level, they don't know how to treat outsiders, they only know how to give people good things that can be taken out of the house, and it is good to make people happy, but sometimes they suffer hardship. I have a relative, he is very good at doing things, he is the first good to his parents, wife and children, and the second is to decide how to treat according to the quality of the relationship, but he will never exceed the closest person, because he knows that the closest person will be the best for him.

There are many such parents who are very good to other people's children, but they are not good to their own children, or they can't be described as bad, that is, they are very strict, because: parents understand very well that they are other people's children, so parents have no expectations for other people's children, but have high expectations for their own children. We hope that our children can be excellent, can study well, can be admitted to a good university, can have a good future, this is our expectation of children, when we have such expectations for children, our requirements for children will become invisibly very high, which makes us and children can not get along with other people's children as easily. ‍‍

Some parents are nice to others, and that is polite and sociable; If you are not good for your children, it is not really bad, but it is "really good" to be strict and want them to become talents. There are many aphorisms about how to treat children. For example:

If the child does not fight, he will not be able to fight; The filial son who hits, the rebel son who loves; Give the doll kindness, don't give the doll a nice face, etc. ‍‍

I don't rule out that there are indeed selfish parents, but such parents are rare, and it is not necessarily that your parents are bad when you feel this way, but you must really experience the real emotions. Although some parents love their children very much, they really can't express it, and in their world, it may feel very pretentious to speak softly. I care about you very much in my heart, but I don't know that I said something serious.

And as a child, sometimes the care of parents has become a matter of course, without deep feelings, for example, the leader pours you a glass of water, you will be very moved, and the parents pour you water, you may dislike the cold or hot. ‍‍

Being good to others and bad to children is just an illusion. You need to be polite when you get along with others, after all, others are outsiders, and it is impossible to have too many requirements for outsiders, right, so it is polite to be polite with others. But children are different, they are all their own family, and there is no need to worry about it.

If there is anything to say, praise should be praised, and reminded that when the children are not doing the right thing, the parents will also dissuade and scold them, but this does not mean that it is not good for the children, in fact, it is just the way they want their children to get along with each other, and their hearts are always the most loving children, willing to give everything for them, and the family is inseparable from the flesh and blood. If you know that your children have done something wrong and gone the wrong way and do not block education, then such people will be parents in vain. ‍‍

He has to behave well in front of others and make others think he's good.

Parents all over the world are the same, they regard their children as the meat of their hearts and the treasure in their hands, but sometimes they hate iron but not steel. The love of parents for their children is afraid to melt in their mouths, and they are afraid to fly when they hold them in their hands. This is contradictory love.

I hope that the child will be stable and happy, and will not suffer hardships or be tired; I am also worried that my child will not experience setbacks, hardships, and a strong heart, and that he will not be there in the future, and he will inevitably encounter setbacks and difficulties in life and work, how will the child deal with it? ! Therefore, at no time should there be any doubt about the love of parents for their children. Many times, when you are moving forward hard, your parents' hearts will be more entangled and uncomfortable than yours, but they have to let you bear it, because only in this way can you make your children stronger, and the road ahead can be more stable and farther.

As people often say, when we are struggling to move forward, how do we know that someone has opened the way for us to overcome obstacles, and this person is our parents! ‍‍

"I hope that my son will become a dragon, and I hope that my daughter will become a phoenix. It is a firm ideal in the hearts of many children, and when the child is young, parents hope to cultivate their child into a very good person who can do anything. When they grow up in the future, they will be able to choose the job they like, instead of being useless and gnawing at home.

However, not everyone can grow into an excellent and capable person, some people may not be so good at learning, and they are not as good as others from the beginning of school, but this does not mean that they will not have a good life.

When children are young, parents are looking forward to them growing up day and night to become talents, but when the children really grow up, they really become very good. At this time, is it really what the parents want? In fact, no, when the child grows up and has a future, he must go to the outside world to break through, so that he will be farther and farther away from his parents.

They may often face business trips or participate in some big projects because of their strong work ability, and when they are in important positions, it is inevitable that they will be unable to help themselves, and it will be difficult to have time to spend with their parents. This is also the norm for many elites in the workplace.

Is this a phenomenon that parents want to see? Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. Parents will definitely be happy to see their children promising, but they can't help but sigh when they are happy, why are children getting farther and farther away from themselves?

If your children are not so good, can you always be by your side? Even if his job may be very ordinary and he does not have a super high salary, isn't it the simplest happiness that his children can stay by his side?

Therefore, many people feel that their children are too productive when they are old, which is not a good thing. When people are old, when it is time to enjoy the joy of family, the child is not by his side all the year round, and under the influence of the external environment, there are fewer and fewer topics to communicate with the child, and the child may lack that intimacy, which will be a great pity.