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In the formulation and implementation of rules, parents understand and respect the laws of their children's physical and mental development and personality characteristics, and will not suppress their children's nature. Start from the child's feelings, and use love and understanding to win the child's cooperation. Only by cultivating rules that conform to children's nature can children understand the boundaries of freedom.
It is necessary to understand that rules are "upbringing" rather than "prohibiting", rules allow children to develop life rules and behavioral habits, rules let children understand the boundaries of safety, rules let children learn social rules, rules allow children to establish learning habits, rules that follow the laws and characteristics of children's physical and mental development will not suppress nature, and whether the rules we need to establish follow the laws of children's development; In addition, in the process of implementing the rules, do we respect the physical and mental characteristics of children?
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No, proper rules are still necessary. In this society, even adults have to follow the rules. A child's nature is free to play without breaking the rules.
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In a family, parents set clear rules for their children, not to require children to strictly follow their own requirements and restrain their children's growth. Instead, it puts forward clear requirements for certain behaviors of children, so that children can better distinguish between right and wrong, and behave more appropriately. Of course, in the process of children's growth, there should not be too many rules, just establish principled rules, too many rules will often limit the development of children's personality.
And with the increase of children's age, especially after puberty, the way of rule-making should also be adjusted accordingly, and parents should appropriately delegate power, so that children have greater initiative and participation in rule-making, because children in this period of physical and psychological development, more hope to be respected and equal. The number of rules can be reduced accordingly, and the opinions of children can be fully respected.
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I think that establishing rules is likely to lead to focusing only on the child's behavior and ignoring the child's feelings, even if the child follows the rule, it is not very meaningful. Because having good feelings will naturally lead to good behavior. If you care too much about behavior and don't care about feelings, your child will only be submissive for a while, and in the long run, it will do more harm than good.
Empathy, think about ourselves, how would we feel if our family set us a lot of rules? Don't ask your child for something we feel bad about. Of course, we can't indulge our children indefinitely.
This requires parents to adjust the environment, adjust their mentality, and be a good role model for their children, and the children will naturally follow suit, rather than simply asking the children.
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Giving children freedom and love is not spoiling children, blindly following them and obeying their children's requirements. Freedom can cultivate a series of qualities in children, just like Sun Ruixue said, freedom can make a person become a real person. When you really give freedom to your children, you will be able to find that out of freedom there are rules.
With freedom, children choose what interests them; Because he is interested, he will do it again and again, and he will become focused; In the long-term concentration, he gradually perceived and grasped the laws of things; When he grasps the law of things, he is willing to abide by it, and he has self-control.
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A child's free nature is good and important, but everything should be measured! In some respects, you can be laissez-faire, but unlimited freedom will cause children to think that they can do everything as they want, and they are very likely to go down the road of no return when they grow up. Therefore, it is very important to give the child free space and at the same time give certain restraint rules!
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Many families have only one child, so it is inevitable that the child will be more spoiled, usually many things come with the child's temperament, and even try to meet the child's requirements, parents do not feel that there is any problem, but they do not know that this kind of bottomless indulgence of the child, in the end will only destroy the child. "No rules are not a circle", usually to make some rules for children, this is not only to let children develop good habits, know how to behave, but also a means to protect children. So how do parents make the rules?
Parents lead by example
What kind of parents there are, what kind of children will be educated, this is what we often say in our daily life. The influence of parents on their children is decisive, so to set rules for children, then parents should lead by example and do it themselves. For example, when crossing the street, you have to obey the traffic rules, and when your child sees it, he will know that "stop at a red light, go at a green light".
Parents should apologize for doing something wrong and have the courage to take responsibility, then the child will also know that he has to apologize to others for doing something wrong.
Instilled in the child subtly
Parents can slowly instill these rules into their children in their daily life, and all aspects of life contain rules, and through this way of infiltration, children will quickly accept these rules, and at the same time, they will form a good habit and carve this rule into their bones. Therefore, parents should talk to their children more and teach them more.
Respect the child
When the child does something or decides, parents should respect the child and do not interfere, so that the child will listen to the opinions of others and lack self in the future. Therefore, it is necessary to give children some freedom appropriately, and let them feel the fun of freedom without violating the rules.
Educating children is a big and long-term thing, and it is not achieved overnight, so parents should also be more patient and give their children a little time, so that their children can grow up in a warm and loving family.
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Parents should make a schedule that conforms to the rules of their children's work and rest, and then let their children do things in strict accordance with the schedule, but they must give their children full freedom and play, don't be too strict, and must be gracious and powerful, so as to educate excellent children.
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It is necessary to make a strict time plan for the child and make a strict planning plan to tell the child what time to study and what time to play, so that the child can get a very good plan.
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There are meritorious rewards, there are wrong punishments, so that children can develop a sense of rules from an early age, but try to reward rich rules, so that children subconsciously obey the rules.
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We can also establish some rules for children in our daily lives, and this will not suppress the nature of children. However, the father or mother must pay attention to the method at this time, and in ordinary life, we should not always force the child, otherwise the quarrel will easily lead to the child is very psychologically stressed. We must also pay attention to these issues so that we can make your child better.
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I think that the establishment of rules and regulations will suppress the child's nature, because it is not conducive to the child's physical health, nor is it conducive to the child's physical and mental health, and will make the child feel very inferior, so parents must pay attention to this aspect of the problem.
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It may be that the child's nature will be suppressed, because after some rules are established, the child will be bound by these rules and cannot play freely.
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The so-called no rules do not make a circle, although we now advocate freedom, to children is also free and happy education, but some people are completely indulgent to children without any rules at all, we can often see some bear children in public places or playgrounds arbitrarily, self-respecting, and parents are also ignoring, silent, looking at their children's "ability", laughter is endless, once touched the field of other children, when other parents say, bear children's parents still feel unreasonable, said words that were not so serious, but they didn't know that the freedom given to the child would definitely harm the child.
In this regard, I really admire Ying Caier's education for her son, at the dinner table, you can't wait for the adults to finish eating before going down the table; There are no toys in the living room, and the living room is a public place that is shared by everyone, not a toy field; Take as much as you eat at the buffet, and take it again if you don't have enough, so as to eliminate waste; You can't order food from grandma and grandpa at home, the home is not a restaurant, what the family eats, and you have to know how to be grateful and thank the person who cooks; No matter in **, you must often say thank you, and please, polite words are often on the lips will not be wrong; I have to say that table manners can reflect a person's upbringing, and indirectly reflect the family upbringing behind the child's family, so there are rules to be free.
For example, before eating, you should thank the person who cooked for you, and greet outsiders, which is a sign of politeness out of a closed heart. When you go outside, you can ask for toys and snacks, and the premise is to discuss with your mother and father whether you can buy it, how much you can buy, you can't cry, and you can't make noise, otherwise the right to buy will be canceled; Every morning, you should know what to do first and then what to do, according to the time plan, if it is overtime, then you have to bear the next project less time instead of delay, so when to do what to do, be a child with planning and self-discipline, and the spare time can play more freely.
In fact, the rules can be done according to the situation of their own family to do different rules and projects, so that children understand the boundaries behind each thing.
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You can tell your baby that you can divide your time and finish what you should do today, and then you can play the rest of the time.
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When setting rules for your child, you should first choose your child's opinion and work with your child to establish rules for yourself, so that your child will be more receptive.
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Be sure to formulate rules and regulations for children according to their habits, and then let children implement them in accordance with the rules and regulations.
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At the same time, it is also necessary to let children learn to learn from play, and also let children deal with the relationship between fun and learning, and at the same time, they should also cultivate children's reasonable concept of time, so that children can take the initiative to recognize the rules and the boundaries of freedom.
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Summary. It has been said that freedom and rules are like a candy and a stick, and no child will like a stick and give up sugar. A child who moves freely, whose inner wisdom is protected and developed, who is at peace of mind and who is most willing to follow the rules.
Therefore, if we want to give our children maximum freedom, there must be rules to protect them.
Gently and firmly enforcing the rules is no less stressful and painful than being bound by them. Because in the child's opinion, the mother should meet his requirements if he loves him, otherwise he will not love him. In that case, it is really uncomfortable to face the torture of love.
Some parents may give in, but know that true love is for children to grow.
How to grasp your child's rules and freedoms.
It has been said that freedom and rules are like a candy and a stick, and no child will like a stick and give up sugar. A child who moves freely, his inner wisdom is protected and developed, his heart is calm, and he is most willing to obey the rules of the hail. Therefore, if we want to give our children maximum freedom, there must be rules to protect them.
Gently and firmly enforcing the rules is no less stressful and painful than being bound by them. Because in the child's opinion, the mother should meet his requirements if he loves him, otherwise he will not love him. In that case, it is really uncomfortable to face the torture of love.
Some parents may give in, but know that true love is for children to grow.
In the process of educating an 11-year-old child, what behaviors give him freedom? What behaviors are needed to remind him, urge him, and demand him.
Boy. I won't eat it immediately after cooking, I don't take a hail bath by myself when I take a bath, and I have to keep reminding you when it's time to read. When you sleep, you also need to be reminded by a lot of people. Should he be given freedom, or should the parents be reminded.
Principled issues directly call for improvement.
Is this a matter of principle above.
There are other options for communicating with reason.
You also need to be accompanied by an adult when you sleep.
He understands the reason, but he doesn't do it.
There are other options for these, so be reasonable.
Right and wrong are principled.
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I think the best way to do itIt is to be able to let your children have certain norms when doing the most suitable timeParents should put a certain amount of pressure on their children.
For every child, in the process of growing up, they will want to do what they like to do, but this kind of thing is not conducive to the growth of children. Rules are very important for everyone, and we must abide by them from childhood to adulthood in order to make our society more harmonious.
Play games for no more than an hour a day.
For a child, the time to play games should not exceed an hour every day, many teenagers in our country play for a long time, and it is obvious to parents that this phenomenon is not very good for the development of children. It's good for kids to play an hour a day, but don't spend too much time playing it. <>
Go straight to bed at 10 p.m. every night.
You should go to bed at 10 o'clock every night, because going to bed at 10 o'clock is also a rule, as long as the child can stick to this rule, then the child will definitely be able to develop a good habit, and the child can also be able to abide by the rules in this society. <>
Set aside an hour a day to exercise.
For a small child, in fact, it is also necessary to exercise, because exercise can form a habit from an early age, and it is also in the rules set by parents. The most important thing for parents is to be able to set certain rules, and to be able to make children stick to them every day, under this influence, they can make children become more rule-abiding. <>
The above three measures are actually to be able to let their children abide by certain rules when doing anything, if they can start from these small things before the loss, then the child will definitely be able to develop such behavioral habits. Regulating children must start from small things, if the small things are not done well, then the child is unlikely to do bigger things.
How should I set rules for my child?
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