My girlfriend and I have different values, what should I do?

Updated on psychology 2024-06-17
21 answers
  1. Anonymous users2024-02-12

    A person's values are related to their family environment, education, books they have read, and their own experiences. Everyone's experience is different, and their views on things are not exactly the same, so although it is said that people with similar values are easier to get along with, it is normal for people with different values to be different.

    If you want to get along with each other with different values, you must communicate more and express each other's views and ideas. A person's ideas are not static, and neither are their values. In the process of communicating and getting along, it will be imperceptibly affected.

    Of course, what I mean by communication and exchange is a calm exchange of heart, not a quarrel between two people talking to themselves.

    My perception of consumption was similar to that of my parents at first, and then it became similar to that of my friends, which will be affected. It may be difficult to accept at first, but gradually you will understand, accept and even agree. So I'm not talking about it, but I'm explaining it based on my own experience and understanding.

    I don't deny that there will be problems when you get along with different values, what I agree with is that values will not always be different and contradictory. Strive to converge, you will find a balance, two people get along with each other, isn't it necessary to run in with each other.

  2. Anonymous users2024-02-11

    I've always felt that it's impossible to be together with people with different values. Even if it is two people who are very husband and wife, if they have very different thoughts in their hearts, it is difficult to live.

    If one is a very realistic person and the other is really emotional, how can these two people live together? For example, if you have an empty space, imagine building a flower shop, and it is the kind of floor-to-ceiling glass windows. Imagine how beautiful it is to be covered with flowers, and you are sitting in it, and the flowers are blooming.

    At this time, the rational man suddenly said, "You will definitely be stolen like this, and the glass window will be shattered as soon as it is smashed." "What are your moods at this time, you must be full of helplessness, feeling that you have nothing to say and can't communicate. <>

    Many of the different values are reflected in the concept of consumption. The concept of consumption is a major event in a lifetime. If a person is the kind of person who knows how to enjoy life, as long as he has a little money, he wants to travel and improve the quality of life, and a person is the kind of thrifty and hard-working style, and everything must be saved, even if it is worthless, although it is a bit extreme, but I think these two people will never be able to live together.

    Just like a friend of mine before, she is a girl, very temperamental, and of course very willing to invest in herself. If you have money, you will buy yourself cosmetics, and they are expensive. There are big and small happy events, and you have to buy something to treat yourself to happy things.

    Her philosophy of life is, if you have money, you are not willing to spend it, why do you want money? And her previous boyfriend is the kind of person who looks very angry, but is actually very good at saving money. The two of them don't like each other's consumption styles.

    In the end, I broke up because of this, and I didn't regret it.

    However, this is not absolute, as long as you love each other, all problems are not a problem. The story of building a flower shop just now is the story of her told to us by our Chinese teacher before, she is a liberal arts major, and her husband is a science major, but the two of them are very happy.

  3. Anonymous users2024-02-10

    This is a very serious problem, because two people have to live together, and the issue of values must be unified, otherwise it will be difficult for two people to continue to live in the future.

    A person who spends money lavishly, and a person who is reluctant to spend that reluctantly, will definitely quarrel over the issue of money.

    Who to follow, that's the point.

    My girlfriend and I also quarreled over money, I was different from her family, I was rural, my family conditions were not good, plus my parents disciplined me, let me know how important money is.

    So I suggest spending less, saving money, and wearing on top of food, I am very economical, but my girlfriend is the opposite, she has a good family, and she has a younger brother, and her father drives the goods and earns 10,000 a month.

    I wasn't with her because her family had money.

    So she spends money lavishly, and would rather go hungry than buy clothes, cosmetics or something. Won't save a little money, that's her.

    I don't like this kind of person, we want to live together. Couples work part-time to save money to travel here and there, and we haven't been to a single place, don't you feel sorry.

    She listened to me for a while, but she couldn't hold it back for a while, maybe she couldn't hold it anymore and got sick again.

    I think it's better to save some money between two people, in case of a sudden accident in the future, there is no money when you need it, wouldn't it be very bad, we are not small now, we should be like an adult.

    I am the standard Chinese traditional thinking, because I am Chinese, I don't study like foreigners, how people live is their business, I only know that I should spend money and save.

  4. Anonymous users2024-02-09

    I think everyone will have their own values, and it's normal to be different from other people's values, and it's not surprising that you and your girlfriend have different values, but the main thing is to see how you solve this difference between you, you can try to find some similarities so that you can get along well.

  5. Anonymous users2024-02-08

    I think it's normal to have different values, it's not a big deal, don't worry. But if it's a disagreement of values, it's serious. Because it represents two conflicting attitudes towards life, it will make your future path extremely difficult.

  6. Anonymous users2024-02-07

    If the disparity is not too big, you can change your perspective and think about the problem differently.

  7. Anonymous users2024-02-06

    In fact, it is very important for young people to have the same three views when they are in love, especially for girls, the three views are consistent, which can speed up the progress of love. If you can change it, I suggest that you explain the situation to her frankly, and there will be a chance to save it.

  8. Anonymous users2024-02-05

    If your girlfriend says that your values are not the same, and you want to break up, I think you should follow your girlfriend's opinion, because it is difficult for two people with different values to be together, and our values are also difficult to change, so at this time, it is better to separate quickly, so as not to have a long pain than a short pain.

  9. Anonymous users2024-02-04

    The girlfriend said that the values are different to break up, if it is really because of this reason to break up, then there is no need to force this relationship, the three views are different, it is difficult for the relationship between two people to continue, even if it is maintained now, there will be many problems in the future.

  10. Anonymous users2024-02-03

    Your girlfriend thinks that you have different values and you have to break up, if you want to keep it, you can try to slowly change your values, but this is a difficult thing, but you really love your girlfriend, you can try, otherwise you can only break up, because it is really difficult to communicate with different values.

  11. Anonymous users2024-02-02

    If your girlfriend says that you have different values to break up, I think that since the values of two people are different, then breaking up is inevitable, after all, your girlfriend has discovered this problem, so if you don't want to break up, you have to change yourself, but when you try to change, you will find that this is a very difficult thing, so there will be a lot of contradictions slowly, it is better to break up early.

  12. Anonymous users2024-02-01

    If your girlfriend says that you have different values and want to break up, I think you should do the following:

    1. The first is self-reflection, did you do something wrong? Or maybe it's the result of not satisfying your girlfriend.

    2. If your girlfriend says to break up because you have done something wrong, then, if you feel that this relationship is worth cherishing, take the initiative to admit your mistake and ask your girlfriend for forgiveness, I believe your girlfriend will also forgive you.

    3. If you are not at any of these points, but just an excuse made by your girlfriend, then you should seriously consider whether it makes sense to go on.

  13. Anonymous users2024-01-31

    It depends on whether you are worth keeping or not. If you really have different values, it must be difficult to get along, after all, you may have differences in buying a thing, and you can't avoid buying things in the future. If you don't have a deep emotional foundation, how can you live together.

    If the disagreement is not so serious, you try to communicate as much as possible, and this is the time when you need to redeem it. If it's really irreconcilable, it may really not be suitable for being together.

  14. Anonymous users2024-01-30

    What should I do if my girlfriend says that you have a different sense of value and wants to break up, I think this is how I think about this question, if you say that your girlfriend has to break up because of this problem, then there is no way to break up, because the two of you have different ideas, even if you are together in the future, you will not be happy, and you will quarrel every day.

  15. Anonymous users2024-01-29

    Economic ability determines the superstructure, and the embodiment of values determines whether two people can be together for a long time. And if two people have different values and can't be cultivated, they may only bless her.

    Paying attention silently is also an expression of love.

  16. Anonymous users2024-01-28

    Values are the easiest of the three audiences to change. In fact, if she breaks up with different values, it may only be a difference in consumption, but you can make appropriate changes, don't be too picky, and don't be too extravagant and wasteful. Try to negotiate as much as possible, it's not a big deal.

  17. Anonymous users2024-01-27

    I'm going to tell you about it.

    The value of life is the role and influence of people's social practice activities on society and human beings

    Objectively speaking, it contains both positive and negative roles and influences, as well as people's evaluation of his results and influences. To put it simply, why life is the outlook on life, and how to live is the value. The outlook on life governs people's thoughts and behaviors, and values guide people's thoughts and actions.

    Different outlooks on life and values have different roles and influences on society and human beings。For example, bin Laden, the leader of the world's terrorist activities, has a wealth that rivals that of the country because of his family and personal wealth, if his outlook on life is to live a life of pleasure, this money is enough, and if he wants to be a great benevolent person who will be praised by the people of the world for all his eternity, he will use the money to make money, while helping the poor, building bridges, paving roads, building schools, and doing great good deeds, it will also be passed down for a lifetime and remembered. But he used the money to establish a terrorist organization, wantonly carry out terrorist activities, disrupt society, and endanger mankind, which can be seen from his outlook on life and values.

    The significance of his actions and activities to society is also unacceptable and intolerable to human society, and it will be infamous for thousands of years.

    Correct life values include self-worth and social value.

    In life, people will choose their own life path, achieve their own life goals through a certain way, and give personality to life practice with unique thoughts and behaviors. However, what kind of value a person's life has, and the society's judgment of his value, is mainly based on his contribution to society. The greater an individual's contribution to the survival and development of society and others, the greater the social value of his life, and vice versa, the smaller the social value of his life.

    If an individual's life activities not only do not contribute to the survival and development of society and others, but play a counterproductive role, then the social value of this kind of life is manifested as a negative value.

    The value of life is to realize the value of others and society while realizing personal value.

  18. Anonymous users2024-01-26

    may be because there are some inaccuracies in the way you deal with people, and sometimes you have a deviation from the idea of a female old friend, and sometimes you will do some wrong things, so Lu Zheng's girlfriend will say that your values are not right.

  19. Anonymous users2024-01-25

    is that the thinking and feelings are different from others, and the whole is more stubborn, very selfish, and an egoist.

  20. Anonymous users2024-01-24

    There is no correct judgment in the face of major rights and wrongs, and he is always very selfish and paranoid.

  21. Anonymous users2024-01-23

    It is very common for girlfriends and boyfriends to have different views, because everyone has a different growth environment, cultural background, personality and hobbies, etc., and will form different values and concepts.

    However, when this situation arises, it may lead to a lot of conflicts and arguments, which will affect the development of the relationship, so it needs to be resolved.

    Cause. There may be many reasons for the difference in the three views of girlfriends and boyfriends, such as differences in the environment of becoming a good person, differences in family backgrounds, cultural differences, different personalities and hobbies, etc. These factors can profoundly affect a person's values and perceptions.

    Solution. 1.Understand each other's values and perceptions.

    Both parties can help to understand each other's values and perceptions, and communicate their own views and principles. Even if the three views are different, you can try to understand and accept different points of view, respect and tolerate each other.

    2.Compromise and compromise.

    For some irreconcilable differences, in terms of compromise and compromise, it is necessary to try to find a way that is acceptable to both parties, so that both parties can obtain substantial benefits.

    3.Letting go or even breaking up.

    If the difference between the three views of the two parties is too significant, or there is no consensus and there is no compromise, you need to consider letting go or breaking up.

    I believe that as long as the girlfriend and boyfriend are adults, they can look at the relationship rationally and face the reality calmly.

    When faced with such a situation, both parties need to face the problem realistically and handle their emotions and relationships with maturity and responsibility. No matter what the outcome is, you need to respect the decision of the other party and yourself, and believe that in this way, you can handle the marriage completely and perfectly.

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