Have you gained a new understanding of marriage from the marital status of your parents?

Yes, I used to think that marriage was the kind of Korean drama in which ten fingers don't touch the spring water, never have to cook by yourself, and always have a particularly good relationship, maybe I watched too many Korean dramas at that time haha. But later, as my mind matured, I found that only the kind of marriage and life of my parents seemed to be the most real.

From the marital status of my parents, I knew that there were quarrels, discords, quarrels and even unreasonable marriages, but later I learned that those are the normal state of life, and no one's marriage is more normal than this.

Later, I learned that marriage can be two people around the kitchen together, in order to cook a delicious meal for their children, the parents of the two people during the cooking period, as well as the small interaction, really let me see what love looks like.

In fact, love is not only sweet in Korean dramas, marriage is to live for a lifetime, married life is both sad and happy, and it is this sweet and sour little taste that can make life colorful and not boring.

I used to think that marriage was a particularly satisfying kind, and it always seemed to be very sweet, but then I realized that the taste of life has to be tasted in marriage, there will be good and bad, happy and unhappy, complement each other, and there is a little bit of what kind of feeling, this is called life.

But an unhurried life is the best way to be married. What is unhurried? It's just that you have something to say, know how to cherish your relatives and lovers, endure those hurtful words when you're angry, and learn to please each other and make each other happy when your other half is unhappy, and the ultimate goal is just to live this life well.

In fact, many things will become very simple in marriage, and they belong to some exchanges and communication between relatives.

This is certain, and the marital status of the parents will definitely have some influence on the children's view of marriage.

When I was young, my parents had a very harmonious relationship, they were very good to me, our family, I felt very happy, at that time I thought, I will marry someone like my dad in the future, and then live happily together, have a child and a family. It's just that this idea has changed a lot after many years.

Maybe it's the seven-year itch, the relationship between my parents is getting worse and worse than before, it's easy to have conflicts, and then quarrel and quarrel, their feelings are walking on thin ice, I think marriage will make people feel bored, painful, and sad.

This is how I think about marriage now, I think all relationships are good at the beginning, but they always end so badly. Looking at my parents' lives and their marriages, I feel that I am already shy away from marriage, and I always feel that it is better not to have a marriage in the first place than to face the failure of marriage.

Of course, no matter how old we are, our parents are our first teachers, and many of our behaviors and ideas are derived from our parents. Especially marriage, every day of living with our parents is a model for us to understand marriage, and every day is updating our cognition.

I barely lived at home from elementary school to junior high school, and my understanding of marriage came only from books and other people's opinions, and the ideas were very simple. I feel that marriage is the same as love, you can live a romantic life, and enjoy the world of two people romantically, which is nothing more than one more certificate, and then one more child, what changes can this have, will marriage change a character?

Later, when I went home every week, I realized that marriage is not simple, my mother has to be busy with some small things such as firewood, rice, oil and salt every day, as well as thinking about how to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, how to take care of her children; My dad wanted to make more money to make his children live a better life and make his family more comfortable. So my mom and dad often quarrel over some trivial things, and every time they quarrel, they are venting their emotions, and then they get better.

Later, when I went to college, my family's family conditions were much better, my father and my mother basically had no pressure in life, and I almost never heard my parents quarrel again. My dad was always tolerant and understanding of my mom, and when he was on a business trip, he set fire to bring gifts to my mom, and nothing good would leave my mom behind; And my mom was also spoiled as a "child" by my dad.

Judging from my parents' marriage for so many years, from love to marriage is a cycle, at the beginning, two people understood each other and felt that all problems were not problems; Later, with the pressure of life and the need to provide for children, the two of them became irritable and would quarrel endlessly over a little thing; Later, when the two of them worked together and their living conditions improved, they felt that there was really no need to worry about each other, and they would understand each other as before. This is the marriage of our parents, and it is our marriage.

Parents are our first teachers, and they have always been the objects of our learning and imitation, so we will always have a new understanding of marriage from our parents' marriage.

When I saw the daily life of my parents, I knew that marriage is not the legendary "you are responsible for being beautiful like a flower, and I am responsible for making money to support the family", but two people working together to run the family together. <>

I used to hear a saying that "the daughter who marries out, spills the water", and at the time I thought it was really like this, and after marrying, it was a family with another family.

I know from my mother's life that this is not the case, my mother-in-law's family does not necessarily treat you as my own family, and there are many examples of poor relationships between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. And even if you get married, your mother's family is still your relative, and you also need to fulfill the responsibility and obligation to take care of them.

In addition, the husband and wife must compromise in taking care of both parents, and they must treat both parents as relatives and there can be no gap.

And I learned that for the sake of children, the most difficult thing is actually the role of mother. There are many mothers who choose to endure at home for the sake of their children, and keep saying that they have always chosen to tolerate their marriage for the sake of their children. In the end, it got to the point where it was too late to regret it, because the child was getting older day by day.

Fortunately, there is no such phenomenon in our family, but my mother did suffer a lot for us.

Therefore, marriage is really a particularly difficult scripture to read, and it needs to be read slowly by people throughout their lives.

Yes, and the understanding is very profound.

Marriage is a lifelong affair between two people, and before getting married, we must get to know each other deeply to see if the other party is worthy of entrusting us for life. This is important because if you make the wrong payment, it will be very harmful to both of you, your family or your children in the future. This is an era of rapid development, so even the result is a fast-moving marriage.

Many people have only been with each other for a month or two, and they feel that they have something to talk about, so they will get the certificate directly. But when they get along for a longer time, the deeper they go, they will find that there are more and more contradictions, more and more disputes, and then the two people who once felt very much in love will quarrel as soon as they meet, and they will do it as soon as they quarrel, and in the end this marriage can only end in harm, which is really regrettable.

If he is not self-motivated, even if it is good to you, please see if his family background will allow you not to run around and work hard for money in the future. Many people may think that as long as the other person loves you, you also love each other, and this is enough. They will feel that they can earn together after the money is gone, so the pursuit of material things is not so strong.

As everyone knows, this kind of thinking can be the source of the pain in your married life. If a person is not self-motivated, and then the family background is not good, how can you talk about working together? The end result may be that one person is struggling to support a family.

You're busy going out early and returning late every day, and you even have to give up the things you used to like in order to save money. Your good friend may be taking care of himself every day, but you, not to mention that you don't have the money for maintenance, you don't even have time for maintenance. Then you will become an abandoned woman who is rejected by your husband, and you will even be disliked.

Have you ever thought about this kind of day?

Absolutely. In the past, when I was watching TV, I saw that the couples on TV were very loving, and I always felt that in this world, as long as they were married, they were very happy, just like having children, and their husbands would also be very fond of themselves, and the plots on TV would only appear on TV, and there were still very few pictures of love in real life, like my father and my mother, the marriage between the two of them, made me really change my view on marriage.

The marriage that the two of them made up together, it really feels like the grave of marriage, Mom and Dad have been together for more than ten years, because they were blind dates at that time, Dad's family was poor and not good-looking, and Mom was very good-looking, and the family situation was okay Now Mom often quarrels with Dad, because Dad always gambles, and sometimes I ask Mom, why did you fall in love with Dad in the first place.

Then my mother said that his waist was not good, he couldn't do heavy work, and people with good conditions in his family looked down on him, so he chose a person with poor family conditions, thinking that he would be better to his mother in the future, who knew that his father was not good to his mother at all, and his mother was in his father's house, not only to work, but also to do very heavy work, so my mother never thought of what happiness was like in her life.

And my father is very rigid, his temper is also very stubborn, and he doesn't know how to be romantic, he has been married to his mother for so many years, and he has never said that he has given his mother any gifts on his mother's birthday, nor has he said that he has bought a dress for his mother, and his mother has always bought him clothes Dad, who loves to gamble.

Just because, Dad gambles, this bad habit quarrels when we are not sensible, until now I have married and started a family, they are still quarreling I feel that my mother married Dad this life is a special loss, because he has not thought about the service has been tired, no matter what, physically or mentally has always been very tired, never relaxed.

So my mother has always been afraid that I will follow her back path, but although I don't like my current marriage very much, at least it is not very bad compared to my mother.

From my own personal experience, I have seen a lot of things clearly from my parents' marriage. And the older they get, the more clearly they can analyze some bad things in the places where they get along.

My parents are the kind of people who met through introductions, and they didn't have any emotional foundation at all. Mom is the kind of person who is very desperate to be good to my dad. And my dad is a very fun-loving person.

I spent my childhood with the sound of my dad and my mom fighting. In fact, for me, I am afraid of feelings from the bottom of my heart. I don't think I'll be like my mom, who is desperate to be nice to others, and I don't get the love I deserve.

Later, when I fell in love, I felt that I and my mother's temper were really imaginative, and I was very anxious. It makes the other party very disgusted. Before, I always thought why my dad reacted so much, but now I understand that doing so will really make the other party uncomfortable, and all the bad tempers are given to the people closest to you, but not all the people close to you know how to tolerate you.

I remember my mother told me that she was a failure and didn't know how to manage her feelings. Now sometimes I really understand, and I also feel that girls really need to have wisdom and emotional intelligence, and blindly arguing will only get in exchange for their own sadness, but not their love for you.

And a woman, the more she doesn't need the help of a man, it will naturally become a habit, so that the man feels that you can do everything yourself, so do it yourself. Girls must show weakness at the right time. The boys also eat this set.

Through the relationship between my parents, I feel that having certain skills really has a great effect on my feelings, and I don't have to live so tired.

The experience I had was from my parents' marriage.

Where can we learn about marriage? In the family, in the TV series, and among the relatives and friends around you, the most influential one is in your own family.

In fact, I didn't have the concept of marriage before, because I was still young and didn't pay too much attention to it, and TV dramas are generally idol dramas, which leads to our yearning for love, and I really haven't thought about what marriage is. As I grew up, I gradually gained new feelings and new understandings of my family, which may affect my view of mate selection and my own marital status. <>

I always feel that my father is too selfish, he always tells my mother to do something, he doesn't do it himself, and he dislikes this and that, and he criticizes, my mother generally doesn't hear it, probably because he says too much, and he is in that habit. For example, if you cut vegetables, cut them bigger, he will say that you cut them too big, not exquisite, and the next day you want to say that you cut them smaller, and when he sees them, he will say, "It's too small, it tastes bad..."If it were me, I guess there would be a quarrel, but they couldn't quarrel, because my mother wouldn't say much when she encountered this situation, and would go her own way when she cut vegetables on the third day, no matter what he liked, anyway, I just did it. So there are generally no quarrels.

In fact, my father's temper is very short-tempered, and he is not very good at caring about people, and the occasional concern will move his mother, and he thinks that the person she marries is still okay, in fact, in my opinion, if it were me, I would have been divorced hundreds of times, in fact, I am also short-tempered, although I don't want to admit it, I am still like my dad a little more, whether it is from the appearance or the personality. Dad's spleen and stomach are not good, occasionally stomach pain, but it can hurt for several days, Mom changed tricks to cook light rice for him, as soon as the rice was a little warm, he quickly heated it again, and scolded in his mouth that he didn't eat quickly, but his hands moved quickly.

Although I don't think I will find a straight man in the future, and I want to find someone who loves me to marry, but think about it, there is still a need for one party to accommodate the other party, a person has been accommodating for a long time, nothing more than two results, one is used to it, the other is bored, so I am still a little self-aware, learn more from my mother, love and marriage, you can have both, it depends on how you treat it, in the family, you pay more is not a loss, it is you who love more, only love this home more, home will always be your home.