200 words of jokes that will make the whole class laugh

1. "Big Project".

Seven years after graduation, he finally took on a big project to build a 30-meter chimney, the construction period was two months, and the cost was 300,000 yuan, but it was necessary to advance. It was finally done at the end of last year. Today, when people go to acceptance, they are scolded to death, and they don't have any money to get it!

The drawings are reversed, and they are going to dig a well!

2, "Fracture".

The doctor asks the patient how the fracture occurred. The patient said that I felt that there was sand in my shoes, so I held on to the telephone pole and shook my shoes. A man who passed by thought I had been electrocuted, picked up a stick and gave me two sticks!

3, "Casual Fate".

A colleague asked: You're not young anymore, why aren't you looking for a girlfriend?

I said, "Let it be!"

My colleague said: You deserve to be single, and the monks in the temple all say so!

4, "Double Eleven".

Wife: People's husband's Double 11 directly bought out her shopping cart, you look at you again.

Husband: Haha, I've actually been ready for a long time.

Wife: Do you want to surprise me? Tell me, what's in store for me?

Husband: I didn't buy anything, I'm ready to be scolded by you.

I missed the bus at work, so I ran after the bus, and a man on an electric car shouted next to the bus: "Come on!" A warm current suddenly surged in my heart, and I just wanted to sigh at the beauty of this world, but the man continued to shout: "Come on, master, don't let this guy catch up!"

It's not 200 words:

One day, Xiao Ming's teacher asked Xiao Ming: 1+1=?

Xiao Ming said: I don't know

Teacher: Go home and ask your parents!!

Xiao Ming came home and asked: Dad, 1+1=?

Xiao Ming's father was playing mahjong and casually said a two. He asked his mother again, who was watching the ball game, and said something cool. He went to ask his sister again, who was reading a history book and casually said Qin Shi Huang.

He went to ask his brother again, and his brother was writing a love letter and casually said a dear, I love you, I am waiting for you at the door!

The next day, the teacher asked Xiao Ming: 1+1=?

Xiao Ming said: Two.

The teacher gave him a slap in the face.

Xiao Ming said cool. The teacher asked: Who told you that?

Xiao Ming said: Qin Shi Huang.

The teacher said, "Go to the door and stand!"

Xiao Ming said: My dear, I love you, I am waiting for you at the door.

1 Landlord: What should I do if I am poisoned by the Internet during this time? Violent reply:

As long as you uninstall the antivirus software, you won't see the poisoning. Really, I've tried this method, oh, I don't tell him about ordinary people. 2 Floor Owner:

Distressed, the boss borrowed 500 yuan and can't remember to pay it back, what should I do? Violent reply: When it's just the two of you there, you keep chattering:

Two hundred and fifty ......"After a long time, he will remember. Good luck LZ. 3 Landlord:

Someone replied with two black dots, I don't know why. Violent reply: This master replied with two points, I thought there was dust on the screen, and I couldn't wipe it off with my hands, and I deliberately slurped it to wipe it.

4 Landlord: Why do some people like to lick their fingers when they turn over the paper or count the money? It feels dirty!

Violent Re: Lions like to pee everywhere to declare their occupation of territory. 5 Floor Owner:

I'm a psychiatrist at the Second Hospital, so if there's anything I don't understand about psychiatry, you can ask me...Violent reply: Why did you escape again? 6 Floor Owner:

What does the letter ATM mean on self-service banking? Violent reply: It is the initials of the full name of the image spokesperson Ultraman.

7 Owner: Excuse me, why does my head hurt every time I play basketball? Violent reply:

Violent reply 1: I picked up a grain of sand on the bus, and I want to build a house when I go back, what do you think I lack? Violent reply 2:

You can't have a computer without furniture! I also have to buy a set of furniture. With furniture, there is no place to put it!

You have to buy a house. It's boring to live alone with a house, and you lack a girlfriend. I have to get married if I have a girlfriend!

After getting married, you have to have children. If you have a baby, you have to buy milk powder! And raise your children to grow up.

When your child grows up, he may pick up another mouse pad, and the things that are missing will be even more ......9 Landlord: Why didn't Sima Guang throw stones into the tank and let the water surface rise, so that he would be able to drink water? Violent reply:

When I saw the landlord, I felt a sense of superiority in IQ. Could it be that lz means Sima Guang smashed the cylinder because he wanted to drink the water inside? Afraid that the people inside will not die, and then make up a stone?

It's so talented.

Students who smoke.

Five Students Became Addicted to Smoking One day they were smoking in the toilet when they were seen by the dean, who told their homeroom teacher, who talked to the five of them the next day.

Teacher:"Do you smoke? "

Student A:"Suck ......"

Teacher:"Suck ......You're glorious! Go home and call your parents!! "was also violently passed and demerited.

Student A went back and said to the other four:"The teacher asked you if you smoked, but you didn't admit it, and you all said that you didn't smoke.

After a while. Teacher:"Do you smoke? "

Student B:"Do not suck. "

Let's have a french fries. "As he spoke, the teacher handed over the fries.

Student B naturally stretched out two fingers ......

Teacher:"Don't smoke Chang Xiao? Go home and call your parents! "

Teacher:"Do you smoke? "

Student C:"Do not suck. "

Let's have a french fries. "

Student C carefully took the fries, and secretly thanked Student B (fortunately for the preparation) of the hall mill.

Teacher:"Don't dip it in ketchup? "

Student C didn't pay attention to dipping the sauce too much and began to flick ...... into the bowlTeacher:"Do not suck. Soot is very skillful, ......Call the parents! "

Teacher:"Do you smoke? "

Student D:"Not ......Suck ......"

Student D was already sweating after eating the fries and felt like walking on thin ice).

Student D:"Thank you ......Teacher:If it's okay, I'll go back first. "

Teacher:"Don't you bring a root for your classmates to eat? "

Student D:"Thank you, teacher. "As he spoke, he put the fries to his ear ......Teacher:"Knowing what I'm supposed to say, don't call the parents yet"

Teacher:"Do you smoke? "

Student E:"Do not suck. "

I finally put the fries in my pocket ...... safely）

Student E turned around and wanted to leave, when the teacher suddenly shouted:"The headmaster is here! "

I saw that student E hurriedly took the fries out of his pocket and put them on the ground, and stepped on ...... vigorously