How to deal with the patriarchal mentality of parents?

Sometimes I also think that my parents are a bit patriarchal, because I once asked my mother a question, if the first to be born is my younger brother, is there no me at that time, my mother said to me, do you know how strict family planning was at that time, and the family was fined at every turn, but at that time, every family hoped to have a boy, I said I didn't understand, what is good about a son, in case he marries a bad daughter-in-law, it is better than a girl, Then my mother suddenly told me something, did you see the white business of the so-and-so family next door, who paid for the money, all of them are sons, and the girl grows up after all, it is someone else's family!

In fact, relatively speaking, although my parents have a little patriarchy, but not very heavy that kind of concept, maybe because I had this feeling when I was a child, I studied hard at that time, I still remember that I was a good girl when I was a child, and I won a scholarship every year, for my brother, I completely compared him to his studies, so at that time my dad liked me a little more than my brother, because every time I had a parent-teacher conference, when my dad talked to the teacher about me, the teacher praised me a little more, When my dad talked to the teacher about my brother, the teacher shook his head a little more, in fact, sometimes I think that the palms of the hands and the back of the hands are meat for parents, when you don't have that kind of thought, you won't be burdened by this kind of thought, and I think that no parents generally have that kind of heavy patriarchal thinking, just like my parents now feel that it is indeed a good thing to have one more of me, so when encountering this kind of thing, you must have a good attitude, let yourself be obsessed with other things, such as study and work, There are a lot of things that you will gradually forget when you don't think about them!

In fact, since ancient times, the traditional idea of patriarchy has been lingering, especially in rural areas, you can recall that whenever we see or hear about patriarchal incidents, most of the protagonists are children from rural families. On the one hand, it is caused by the backwardness of rural education, and on the other hand, it is due to ......

First of all, we can put ourselves in the perspective of parents, why do they prefer sons over daughters?

They may be influenced by traditional culture and think that "raising children to prevent old age". When the boy grows up, he can take on the responsibilities of the family: passing on the family lineage, supporting the elderly, and providing for the ...... family

In fact, the reason why parents think this way may also be related to their existential anxiety. Existential anxiety is a term used in the theory of personality to refer to an emotional experience that occurs when an individual perceives a threat to his or her own state of existence or value to survive. This anxiety is triggered by any factor that threatens the survival of the individual and beliefs and ideals that are of equal value to survival.

Parents who prefer sons over daughters may be affected by this existential anxiety, because they are worried that they will have no one to support them when they are old, and they are afraid that their survival status will be threatened, so they will want to comfort themselves and relieve this anxiety by "raising a son". Perhaps in the hearts of some older generations, the idea of "raising children to prevent old age" has been deeply rooted, and they are afraid that they will lose their support and no one to take care of them when they are old. In this sense, parents are also extremely insecure.

As a daughter, the patriarchal preference of her parents may mean that she is neglected, but at the same time, she will be expected to have less hope and therefore less pressure. From this point of view, can you become a little more relieved?

Therefore, even if we live in a patriarchal family, we should not be too uncomfortable or unbalanced, bravely accept the prejudice of our parents, learn to be independent as soon as possible, focus on improving our self-worth, and live for ourselves is also an easy way to survive.

In real life, the phenomenon of patriarchy has always existed. We should take the right approach to this problem, especially the patriarchal problem of our own parents. ......Specifically, we should take three measures to face the reality calmly, do our best to convince their parents, and girls should improve their own strength to ensure their own interests.

1. In the face of the problem of patriarchal preference for parents, you must calmly face the lack of children and recognize the reality. The problem of patriarchy has been around for a long time and is present in many people. ......This is a very real problem that cannot be avoided and must be faced.

Because of this, there is no need to avoid the problem of patriarchy in your parents, but you should recognize the reality and face it calmly. ......Only when you adopt such an attitude can you solve the problem with a positive and peaceful attitude and get the best results. 2. I should try my best to persuade my parents to change the problem of preference for sons.

If parents have a patriarchal problem, they should try their best to persuade and educate them. ......You can use realistic facts to prove that both sons and daughters will be promising, and they can honor their parents, so that their parents can live a comfortable and comfortable life. In this way, the patriarchal concept in the hearts of parents can be effectively alleviated and eventually eliminated.

Of course, it takes a long time for the chain to be accepted, and it takes a long time to get results. 3. As a girl, you should try your best to improve your own strength and ensure that your own interests are effectively safeguarded. If you are a girl, you need to focus on solving the problem of parental preference for sons.

Specifically, you need to try your best to improve your strength, so that you can have a better performance in study, life and work, so that you can become the object of great attention, so that you will not be despised, and the problem of preference for sons over women will be completely solved. ......For girls, this is the key to solving the problem of patriarchy, and they must do it themselves.

Although I rarely feel the existence of patriarchs and daughters around me, but after thinking about it carefully, there is almost no ...... of only daughters in the families around me

It's just that after giving birth to a daughter, there are almost no people who think it is enough (there is an elementary school classmate whose parents are divorced, so she is the only one in the family, and if you think about it, she seems to be the only only daughter I have seen since I was a child).

Although I live in the countryside, I am still open-minded, and I always thought that there should not be many patriarchal parents to ...... now

However, my dad told me that he didn't want to have another child after he had me because he thought it was too difficult to raise a child. It was grandma who wanted them to have another one.

But my grandmother called it because her first three children were all boys, and it took more than ten years to give birth to the only girl, my aunt. That's why she and her grandfather are especially fond of girls.

Under such a premise, she still wants her father to have another child, and I don't know if her original intention is to have more children or to want a boy.

Anyway, I had a younger brother because of that.

Now I really don't have the influence of the so-called patriarchy, even when I fight with my younger brother, my father also helps me (he says that the little one should know how to respect the big one), and my grandmother often wants my cousin to have more girls, she likes girls. When I was just born, my grandfather learned that it was a girl, and he was so happy that he refused to let go of me, you know, uncle, father and uncle have not hugged me since I was born. The uncle had three children, the first was a boy and the second was a girl, and then he wanted another girl and gave birth to another one, and it turned out to be a boy.

My aunt said that when she was in her twenties, there was a very rich young man chasing her, and it was not too early to get married at the age of twenty, but her grandfather said that he was just a daughter, and he refused to marry his aunt.

With so much foreshadowing, I want to say that I actually live in a "female-preference" family, but I remember that I couldn't feel these "female-preference" when I was a child. I can't remember the specific incident, I was extremely insecure when I was a child, my parents took my younger brother with a fever to the hospital at night, I waited for them to come back for a long time at home, I thought they didn't want me anymore, I was about four or five years old at that time, and I went out alone at night to find them, I still remember the fear that the dark street brought me, the adults said that the traffickers seemed to get off a certain car in the next second, but even if I was afraid, I still walked without hesitation, two kilometers away, I walked for more than an hour...... Because it seems that if I don't go to them, they really don't want me.

01 Talk to your parents.

If your parents are patriarchal, you should find an opportunity to talk to your parents and tell you about the depression in your heart, if your parents can hear your heart and make changes, your situation will be better.

02 Be kind to your brothers.

Don't blame your brother because your parents are patriarchal, they are all siblings, your parents love him, you should also love him, and your parents will not embarrass you too much when they see that you treat your brother very well.

03Make yourself better.

If your parents are patriarchal and make you very unhappy, you have to make yourself better, better, and more productive than your brothers.

04Be kind to yourself.

If parents prefer sons over daughters, don't complain too much about your parents, as long as you are not an only child, your parents are partial, rather than waiting for others to love you, it is better to treat yourself well and make yourself happy. Glide.

In today's society, women and men are equal, as the saying goes, "women are half the sky", a family is supported by men and women, and there is no priority; No matter what industry or profession, there are very good female representatives; It is precisely because of the existence of the role of the mother in the family that the father can work outside with peace of mind, and it is precisely because of the mutual respect of the parents that the family imitates harmony and beauty.

Whether it's a boy or a girl, parents want their children to be successful. It's not that you can become a talent after birth, the key lies in the cultivation of the day after tomorrow. Even if a girl is born, parents should believe in this and set a good example, such as good family education, harmonious family environment, quiet learning atmosphere, growing character cultivation and independent living, etc., so that children can establish a correct outlook on life and values; Parents should do a good job of inheritance, so that children can grow up healthily under the care of their parents, give back to their parents, and create positive value for the society.

Fortunately, this problem is not in my family, in the previous era, this kind of thinking was indeed very common, and this phenomenon was everywhere, but with the development of the current society, it should slowly decrease, but this phenomenon will still exist more or less, I think there are two reasons: 1. The traditional concept is deeply rooted in the first century, and it is the reason for the emergence of the traditional concept. Tradition tells us that a daughter is the water poured out by a married daughter, and only by raising a son can we pass on the family, although we have made progress in society in solving the problem of corruption and rotten covers, but this concept still exists, especially in some backward areas where the phenomenon of preference for sons over daughters is more serious.

2. Many people mainly rely on their sons to provide for the elderlyIn addition, there is a very practical reason, many elderly people do not have pensions. In his later years, he basically relied on his son to support his old age. Once a daughter marries far away, she can't count on her daughter.

It is for this reason that many families favor boys over girls. As parents, you should correctly handle the relationship between your children: 1. Don't judge two children by genderDon't judge two children by gender, give birth to a boy or girl, the son can support the elderly, and the daughter can also support the elderly.

They are all children of their own, and the palms and backs of their hands are meat. 2. Don't distinguish right from wrong by age, and don't distinguish between right and wrong by age. Many parents always make trouble with "you are the elder sister, let the younger brother" and "you are the elder brother, let the younger sister" as the first sentence, which is not only easy to hurt the child's heart, but also is not conducive to the formation of the child's correct values.