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When your best friend asks you to borrow something and you don't want to borrow it, you can pretend that you can't find it and look for it in one place over and over again. When you look for it, you can also say to yourself, "I remember putting it in this place, why can't I find it?"
When your friends see that you have been looking for you, whether they believe it or not, they will say, "Don't look for it yet, I'll ask the others." In this way, he politely refused his friend's request to borrow something.
In this way, when a friend borrows something from you, you can say, "This thing of mine is not very good, I don't use it much myself, I remember that so-and-so seems to have a very good one, you can ask him". After you say this, your friend will probably understand that you don't want to lend him something, and they won't pester you with anything.
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Different people borrow things from you, you should have different ways to deal with it, and you can't generalize to everyone, so it's easy to lose the friendly relationship with others.
If you want to refuse to send things from others, you have to say different things to different people, different words in order not to lose people's hearts, in order to get along more harmoniously in the future, if you don't want to communicate with others more, then you can tell the other party directly.
If you don't want to lend someone something like this, at this time you can euphemistically say that I'm busy now, or I want to pick up a **, and euphemistically say to a friend, I don't have time for the time being, I'm in a hurry to do something, and I'll talk about these things when I have time, okay? Leave in a hurry after speaking, and be sure not to wait for your friends to say anything more before leaving, so that it will appear that you are really in a hurry.
When a friend borrows something from you, and you don't want to lend it to the other party, you can pretend that you can't find these things, and then rummage around in a place to find it, and when you look for it, you can also say to yourself, I remember here, how can I not find a friend, see that you have been looking for it, whether you believe it or not, you really can't find it, you will say, don't look for it first, I will ask other people, so I will politely refuse the friend to borrow something.
When a friend borrows something from you, you can laugh and say, "Don't be kidding, you can learn these things, who are you?" You're what I think of...In short, he kept saying how good the other party was, and he would never go to what he wanted to borrow, and he must be joking with him to do this thing. And you have to keep saying that you don't give the other party a chance to speak, but this method may make friends misunderstand that you are sarcastic about him, but generally friends will lose face and no longer borrow these things from you, and it is possible to follow you Yes, how can I lack these things?
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1. Deferred method.
When a friend borrows something from you, you can pretend to be in a hurry (it's better to pick up a ** or something), and then tactfully say to your friend: "I don't have time now, I'm in a hurry to do a very important thing, and I'll talk about it when I have time." After speaking, leave in a hurry, and be sure not to wait for your friends to say anything more before leaving, so that it will seem that you are really in a hurry.
2. Recommend others to the law.
When a friend borrows something from you, you can say, "This thing of mine is not very useful, I don't use it much myself, I remember so-and-so seems to have a good one, you can ask him". After you say this, your friend will probably understand that you don't want to lend him something, and they won't pester you with anything.
3. Pretend to be looking for the method.
When a friend asks you to borrow something, you can pretend that you can't find it and then rummage around and look for it in one place. When you look for it, you can also say to yourself, "I remember putting it in this place, why can't I find it?"
When your friends see that you have been looking for you, whether they believe it or not, they will say, "Don't look for it yet, I'll ask the others." In this way, he politely refused his friend's request to borrow something.
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Tip 1: Cost swapping.
In life, it is inevitable to encounter times when friends borrow money and colleagues ask for help. If you refuse directly, you will appear to be impersonal, and you will make enemies for yourself.
However, helping each other unconditionally without a bottom line is also easy to let yourself fall into passivity and become a "bad good person".
If you want not to offend the other party without suffering losses, you must let the other party know the cost you need to help him, and then exchange the value.
For example, colleague Xiao Li: "You can help me see what else needs to be revised in my report." ”
You can: "Wait for me for half an hour, I'll deal with the work at hand first, Mr. Wang is in a hurry." ”
The half-hour he waits here can be seen as the interchange cost you need to help him read the report. If he can afford to wait, you can help him, and if he can't afford to wait, you save time, and he won't blame you.
Skill 2: Lift others to the detriment of yourself.
Some people always speak from their own point of view, resulting in extreme discomfort for those around them as soon as they are spoken.
The speaker has no intention, but the listener has the intention. If you can politely refuse, don't get results by slandering others.
However, sometimes we tend to say things without choosing our words, and it is difficult to control our emotions after opening our eyes, which leads to saying the wrong thing. At this time, we have to find a way to remedy it.
The best way to do this is psychological compensation. Alleviate embarrassment by elevating the other person and belittling self-preservation. Of course, devaluing oneself is only to take care of the feelings of others, not to deny oneself in a real way.
Tip 3: Good reason.
When you want to reject someone, you must find a good reason, rather than directly coming up to refuse and quarrel early.
For example, if a friend asks you to borrow money, and you directly say that you will not borrow, it indicates that your relationship will come to an end.
But you rationalize rejection and tell him:"I'm sorry, I just bought a house recently, and I'm repaying the loan, and after paying off the loan and living expenses, I don't have any money, if you're in a hurry, I'll help you borrow it." ”
I think that since you have such a plan, you should communicate with him frankly, explain your thoughts, don't say vaguely, clarify your attitude, in the spirit of being responsible for yourself and him, don't live together so early, this is not what you want, say it openly, if he doesn't agree with your point of view, you don't need to continue talking with him.
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