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The biggest difference is the personality. <>
Children who are loved tend to be confident, optimistic, and positive, while children who are not loved tend to be more introverted and insecure.
The loved child develops a close, secure attachment relationship with their parents, is able to trust their parents, and is willing to communicate with their parents. Parents who are able to respect, understand, and accept their children can help them develop a positive self-perception. Children who are not loved, when dealing with problems, may cover up a mistake with a mistake that will eventually lead to self-destruction.
For example, "Forrest Gump".
Forrest Gump was nourished by his mother's love. He is not afraid of failure, he is not afraid of ridicule. He is good at running and realizes his life value in running.
And Jenny. Longing to escape from her family. She solved the problem with one mistake, which led to another, bigger one.
She was expelled from school and became addicted to drugs. A loved child has a smooth connection with the world, he can feel kindness and love, and in the nourishment of love, they feel happiness. For unloved children, they do not have a parent-child attachment relationship with their mother in the early stages of life.
Their communication with the world is cut off, and they feel insecure. They test the world with their own thorns, and they will eventually stab themselves as well. They will doubt that they are not worthy of love, but they are not happy.
Maybe we can't change the person who hurts us, but at least we can love ourselves more. In the face of past pain, you can try to look at yourself from a third-person perspective that was once weak and full of grievances. Tell him in the gentlest and firmest tone that she is not responsible for your own injuries.
Behaviors and negative emotions such as neglect, ridicule, indifference, beatings, etc. from your parents.
It's not about you, and you don't need to feel guilty about it. At the same time, in addition to our own efforts, the support of the family is also a crucial step. Finally, I hope that every child can have a childhood shrouded in love.
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Children who grow up in love are very confident, have light in their eyes, are very energetic, have a very cheerful personality, and will have a special personality. Children who have not been loved are particularly timid, dare not express their thoughts, are very sensitive in their hearts, are always suspicious, and are particularly insecure.
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Children who grow up in love will be very confident, very sunny, very optimistic and positive, especially cheerful, and especially love to laugh. Children who have not been loved are particularly timid, always submissive, particularly humble, have some pleasing personalities, are very fragile and sensitive in their hearts, and are always worried that others hate them.
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With different personalities, different outlooks on life, different styles of doing things, different levels of self-confidence, different degrees of bravery, and different degrees of enthusiasm, children who grow up in love are relatively superior.
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If you look closely in the crowd, you will see that the children who have grown up in love and the children who have not been loved are really too obvious. Don't believe it, it's really too vivid.
Children who grow up in love are confident, optimistic, gentle, sunny, and firmly believe that they are compatible with all the good things quietly, and their gestures are traces of being truly loved.
Children who grow up in love are first and foremost confident. They know that no matter what happens, even if they make mistakes, their parents will always love them, so they are confident, courageous, and willing to share the bits and pieces of their lives with their parents.
On the contrary, children who can't feel the love of their parents are sensitive, have low self-esteem, and know how to observe words and feelings, but they dare not express their hearts, and some small things will be blamed by their parents, not to mention that when they really make mistakes, they dare not tell their parents at all, because their parents will not help them solve the problem, but will accuse and scold them.
Children who grow up in love are not easy to lose themselves in love. Because they have been loved since childhood, they are more able to distinguish the opposite sex around them, which ones are real likes and loves, and which ones are whims or even hypocrisy. Because they are not short of love, they will not be caught up in a little show of favor from the opposite sex, and in the relationship, they are more rational and determined.
On the contrary, children who can't feel the love of their parents, the hurt of childhood needs to take a lifetime, they spend their whole lives looking for the love that their parents lack, and they are more likely to have a father-lover and mother-love complex, and they are also more likely to be moved by a little love from the opposite sex and fall into it.
Children who haven't been loved much are also well disguised. Most of the time he is cheerful and optimistic, strong as a weed that spreads everywhere. But as long as you are loved a little, you will immediately show your original form, and you will want to give you all of yourself with sincere expectations.
But what can a barren weed take out for you? The weed itself doesn't know, but that doesn't stop it from wanting to hail a little more out of its already barren life. wants to hollow out everything to the other party, obviously sacrificing himself, what he brings is only self-touching, but he can't get the other party's sincerity.
Therefore, as the parents of the post-80s and post-90s generations have knowledge and culture, they must give their children enough love. You must know that the best teacher is to lead by example, parents give their children enough love, children accept love and learn how to love others, happy people use childhood for a lifetime, and people who are not good for a lifetime of childhood.
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Children who grow up in love are confident, gentle, and firmly believe that they are compatible with all the good, and their gestures are traces of being truly loved.
The children who have not been loved are also well disguised, most of the time cheerful and optimistic, tenacious like a tree spreading around, lawless and violently tearing down weeds.
But as long as he was loved a little, he immediately appeared in his original form, and he wanted to take out all of his self-branch banquet jujube for you with great anticipation.
But what can a barren weed take out for you, and the weed itself doesn't know, but that doesn't prevent it from wanting to give you a little more out of its already barren life.
As Duras said, "I love you so deeply and desperately, I just want to empty myself and give it to you." ”
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One, lack of trust.
Cultivating trust requires a stable external environment. During childhood, it is important to be relatively stable with the people around you. Children need to feel safe and feel emotionally paid from those around them, especially their parents.
Without a stable and nurturing environment, children are likely to have a hard time trusting others.
Therefore, a complete family is especially important for children.
Second, lack of emotional intelligence.
Children learn to understand emotions primarily through two-way communication such as language and gestures. Both play a vital role in helping children express their feelings, manage their fears, understand negative emotions and develop resilience.
Without the ability to properly understand their emotional state, children may never be able to develop an essential quality of life: emotional intelligence.
Therefore, patient and regular verbal communication is especially important for young children.
Three, the fear of failure.
It is difficult for a child growing up in a neglected environment to have a healthy sense of self-worth.
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How can children retaliate if they don't have love?
What happens to people who lacked love as a child when they grow up?
1. How to love others?
Friends who lacked love when they were young may be less afraid to fall in love when they grow up because they are afraid that they may not be worthy of others.
And I am also very afraid that when I fall in love with others, I will cause myself to be hurt, so every time I fall in love, it ends in failure. I have long hoped that everyone can know that everyone may fail when they fall in love, and failure is not terrible, what is terrible is that we dare not try to love again. We must know that in the whole process of falling in love, the most important thing for ourselves is to calm down our mentality and not be affected by it when we were young.
We can choose to think seriously before falling in love, and if the other person is good to us, we can also choose to treat others in this way.
2. The influence of the family of origin on the child.
If the child does not receive love in the family of origin, then when the child grows up and may receive the love given to him by others, he will always feel that he is very unworthy of this love.
And when others are loving themselves, do we really feel that we can really afford this love?
Third, but I want to tell you that everyone is very good, and everyone is worthy of others' love, so everyone must not deny themselves in this way, when a person can love us seriously, it proves that we are very worthy. So don't belittle yourself anymore, and don't wonder if you can withstand the love of others.
Good luck.
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I don't know how to love others, I don't know how to love myself. Because she doesn't know how to love others, it's hard to meet someone who loves her, and even if she does, she can't give back because the child doesn't understand each other or can't feel the other person's love, so the person who loves her will leave. Because they don't know how to love themselves, it is difficult to find their purpose in life, and they lack motivation to achieve their goals.
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Your parents divorced since childhood, fostered in different relatives' homes, and you don't feel the love of your father and mother, it's been really hard along the way, but it's not your fault. In the growth experience, you feel that you are not worthy of love, so you have become indifferent, no empathy, sometimes do things very extreme avoidance, often feel extreme self-loathing and get rid of the inferiority complex, which has a certain relationship with your growth experience, in the growth without love, it seems that you don't know how to express your needs and how to love others, so you will feel that others don't understand, and you are also very painful, but there is no way to really open your heart and talk too much to others, It's a strong emotional defense you've built for yourself that stands tall. You were helpless when you were a child, but now that you have grown up, it is recommended that you can adjust your state from five aspects: self-understanding, self-forgiveness, self-acceptance, self-care, and self-encouragement.
1.Self-understanding, encouraging the connection between your current (and past) behavior and your traumatic experiences. This connection can make you feel more caring for yourself and feel less impatient, critical, and angry about your actions.
2.Forgive yourself for being involved in an incident where you didn't get your father's love and mother's love after your parents' divorce, because you are an innocent victim who should have been fostered in a different relative's house. Forgive yourself for not being loved, and forgive yourself for not knowing how to love; 3.
Self-acceptance, self-healing is to be who you really are, whether you are fragile or strong, cold or passionate, nervous or peaceful, broken or whole, accept yourself; 4.Self-care, compassionate self-comfort, positive self-suggestion, go inside, cultivate an inner voice full of motivation, care for your body, meet your own needs, and be the parent you desire: encourage, respond to yourself, feel your needs; 5.
Self-encouragement, according to your own ability, adjust the goals you set for getting along with others, admit that your ability is limited, reward yourself for progress, self-correction rather than self-judgment, you have a way of loving yourself and loving others. I hope the above points are inspiring to you, and I hope you do it!
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When you have more experience, more understanding, and know what is your own pursuit and what is your own responsibility, you will be considered mature.
Parents who love their children should let their children practice more, do more hands-on, and do some things, so that they will be very good for him in the future.
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What kind of environment does a child need to grow up in?