How do you get rid of your habit of beating and scolding your child?

No one is perfect. No one will never make mistakes, let alone children. Reason tells us that we should not always spank and scold our children, and most parents think so, but when children make mistakes, it is often difficult for us to control ourselves.

How to get rid of scolding your child:

1. Slow down when you want to beat and scold your child.

Many times we are so angry with our children that we break down, so we lose our temper with our children, and even beat and scold. However, many times after beating and scolding our children, we will regret it very much when we are angry. Therefore, in order not to regret hitting and scolding children, we must learn to divert our attention when we are angry, such as looking into the distance and breathing.

Take it easy when you want to get angry, and after a few seconds, the mood is often different.

2. Nod your head when you want to hit and scold your child.

I signed up for a class to educate children, and the teacher shared that a way to make people's emotional levels drop quickly is to nod their heads. We use empathy for our children's hearts.

The child will naturally nod his head. As soon as you nod your head, the emotional level will drop. In the same way, when we are about to break out, please remember to nod.

In today's society, the fast-paced life coupled with various pressures can easily make people emotional, sometimes even inexplicably irritable, and it is imminent. Therefore, we must learn to relieve our stress and not leave the worst of ourselves to our children.

Learn self-restraint. Always tell yourself that your child is still young and has no ability to distinguish between right and wrong.

1. Hitting a child is actually the most unsuccessful method, looking at the world from the child's point of view, maybe what he is doing makes sense. Parents should not deal with problems in an adult way, but should start from the child's point of view, patiently ask him why he did what he did, and then correct his mistakes.

2. If violence is always used to fight violence, such children will also have violent tendencies when they grow up, which is not conducive to growth. It is also possible that the personality will be more cowardly, timid and fearful. Parents must remember that no matter how big a mistake the child makes, it has already happened, and it is useless to beat and scold, so you can only patiently teach the child not to happen to similar things next time, and only then will he really understand and know that he has done something wrong.

If parents want to hit their children, it is better to close your eyes and count to a hundred, then take a deep breath, calm down, and you will feel that it is really not a matter and not worth hitting. Slowly get rid of this bad habit.

If parents want to get rid of their habit of beating and scolding their children, they should know the consequences of hitting and scolding their children. If parents can't control their temper because they can't control it, they will hurt their children, the most direct solution is to apologize to their children and admit their mistakes, generously admit that this is your fault, don't underestimate the matter of apologizing to your children, if parents beat their children, especially because they can't help but hit their children on impulse, it is easy to leave an impression in the child's heart, and may even make the child bored with the parents, and the parent-child relationship will be affected accordingly in the future.

Of course, parents know that it is wrong for them to hit their child impulsively, and they have to say that the child is wrong, and then promise the child to control his temper. When parents apologize to their children, they need to be sincere and not deceive their children, otherwise it will hurt the parent-child relationship even more.

After parents beat and scold their children, they will have a huge sense of fear in their hearts, and they will also make children wonder if their parents really love him.

Therefore, when parents kill their children, they should comfort their children in time, and tell them that "Mom and Dad love you", so that the children know that you love him, on the one hand, the children will easily forgive you, on the other hand, they will not let him feel that you do not love him, so that the parent-child relationship will be easier to repair, hit the child or scold the child, and must quickly express love to the child through action, which is more conducive to the child's physical and mental health.

What can I do to control my urge to hit my child? Skillfully use 3 gentle parenting techniques.

Gentle parenting 1: Before the animal brain appears, the rational brain takes the lead.

Let the brain focus on the long-term effects of parenting, not the short-term effects.

Learn about your 7 long-term goals for raising children

1. Cultivate positive, confident, and powerful children.

2. Teach children to know how to respect themselves and others.

3. Know how to cooperate with others and contribute to society.

4. Cultivate good emotional management skills.

5. Good interpersonal communication skills.

6. Have good self-discipline and sense of responsibility.

7. Have the ability to solve problems.

Before learning, it is generally the animal brain that jumps out directly to control emotions, that is, to deal with problems with emotions, which is ineffective, so it is uncontrollable. And the right thing to do is to take the lead in the rational brain before the animal brain appears.

How to do it: Calm down for 7 seconds --- ask yourself three questions: Do I respect myself? Do I respect my child? What can I do at this point to get the lid on the animal brain and let the rational brain take control?

As parents want their children to be healthy and happy in the future, when you always pay attention to your parenting goals, you will gradually move from unconscious to conscious. Change your thinking, change your behavior.

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Gentle Parenting 2 : Replace negative language with positive language.

Many parents will have verbal communication before the behavior of hitting their children, and it is these communication that are negative and violent language, which leads to the child's behavior and passive resistance, so it will lead to the subsequent war. If you communicate with your child in respectful and positive language at the beginning, at least you won't let the anger escalate to the level of behavior.

What is the positive language? There are three principles that need to be followed:

The voice is sincere.

The wording is positive.

The response was encouraging.

For example, when the elder brother beats the younger brother, the mother can say, "I saw you beating the younger brother just now, I hope you can communicate with the younger brother well, and the mother believes that you will find a solution to this problem."

I saw ......(Describing the facts, not judging, showing sincerity) I hope ......I believe you ......(Encouraging responses that guide your child to think about how to focus on problem solving).

There are countless cases that prove that you can do it as long as you want to, and I have personally practiced the above methods myself, and I have taught many parents to do it, and the effect is very good. If you really want to change, you can do it. Change the language, change the relationship.

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Gentle parenting 3 Winning cooperation instead of winning children.

Turn your child's challenge into an opportunity for you and your child to grow together, and when your child's challenge comes, focus on solving the problem and inviting your child to cooperate, rather than controlling your child to do what you say.

For example: "I need your help.......""We brainstorm together to see what we can do to help us ......”

Why say I need it, instead of coming over, you come to help me, etc. Because, when a child.

First of all, it is important to understand why your child is doing this and why he is behaving the way he is. So as to analyze and solve the child's problems with the child. Nowadays, most people use preaching and even scolding to deal with children's problems, they think that they are right, and children are bad children if they don't listen.

You need to show your prestige by beating and scolding, in fact, the more your child is afraid of you, the less you know your child, when he will avoid you, do not communicate with you, so that he is bullied in school or growing up in society and is unwilling to seek help from his parents. In fact, it is very simple, what you need is to lack patience, sit down and talk to your child, and many times you need to communicate with your child as a friend. If you get angry and scold your child's colleague, you will also educate a short-tempered child.

Think about it from another perspective, is it that when you were a child, when your parents beat and scolded you, you would be hurt from the bottom of your heart and would reject your parents more. Replace your requirements and what you need your child to be what your child wants, and then guide the child's way of thinking.

Before you want to beat and scold your child, force yourself to calm down, what did the child really do wrong, why did he do this, the purpose of doing so is very thoughtful, ask the child why he is like this, think about it from the child's point of view, the child's feelings, don't act impulsively, your venting can cause the child to be afraid of you, dare not get close to you, and even lead to a shadow in the child's heart. It's not easy to be a parent, unsatisfactory at work and family, and the final venting point is one after another, falling on the child's head, never give the worst temper to the person closest to you.

To be honest, what you need is to learn to restrain your emotions, and it will be much better if you calm down for three minutes when you encounter something and don't get angry in a hurry.

When you realize that you should be equal, you will change, and you must be calm, you blindly scolding will not solve the problem, or learn to communicate with your child to better understand him.

Educate your children and lead by example.

There will be good choices for yourself.

Under the stick, there will be no filial sons, only cowards and rebellious people.

The grumpy big boy should be changed, and the catechism should reason with him.

The first thing is to know why your child is doing this, to understand what they need, and to communicate more

First of all, as a former educator, I hope you know the consequences of hitting and scolding children, often hitting children will seriously hurt children's self-esteem, cause timidity, low self-esteem, withdrawn and other bad psychological problems, and will also cause children to be serious.

Parents beat and scold their children, this phenomenon is still relatively common in life. However, with the improvement of awareness, many people realize that beating and scolding children has a great impact and harm on children's psychology. But sometimes when their children are disobedient or make mistakes, many parents can't restrain themselves.

So, how can parents refrain from beating and scolding their children?

Parents must learn to exercise restraint and try not to beat and scold their children. Fathers and brothers scold their children to vent their anger, and most of this is because the children have done something that makes their parents angry. If you want to restrain yourself before the envy, parents should stay calm and take two deep breaths when their children make mistakes or make their parents angry, so as to suppress their temper.

Parents who want to refrain from hitting their children also need to refrain from putting their negative emotions on their own.

Pass it on to the child. It is inevitable that children will make mistakes at a young age, and parents will learn to look at problems from their children's point of view, so that they will understand their children. Communicating with your child and understanding their thoughts is the best way to help parents restrain themselves.

Many parents know that it is not good to beat and scold their children, and they will not scold their children when they do something wrong, nor do they point out that their children are wrong, which is wrong. It is normal for children to make mistakes, but parents, especially parents, must let their children know that the mistake is **, so that children can be reasonable. It must be noted that not scolding the child is not blindly indulging the child.

I'm glad to answer this question for you, see your description of this problem, my personal opinion and advice to you is this, first of all, you have to talk about how parents can get rid of the habit of beating and scolding their children, then first of all, it is very simple to change this, as long as you can restrain yourself, what is the matter? Communicate with your child. Be calm, put your heart in your heart, and make friends instead of saying that you will beat and scold at every turn, first ensure your own mentality, so that you will be happy to answer this question See your description of this problem My personal opinion and advice to you is like this First of all, you have to talk about how parents can get rid of the habit of beating and scolding their children First of all, it is very simple to change this As long as you can restrain yourself What is the matter Communicate more with your children Calm down and put your heart in your heart instead of saying that you can beat and scold at every turn First of all, make sure that you have a good mentality, so that you can slowly correct this habit, and then you can often beat and scold your child, and the child will not be happy, and the family will feel turbulent because of this, so this habit should be changed as much as possible, so this habit should be changed as much as possible, and it is very simple to change it, as long as you adjust your mentality, you can change it.

Hitting someone is definitely wrong, adults actually understand it, but for children, they may not realize what is right and what is wrong, they may just express their dissatisfaction and vent their emotions in this way. But for adults, it is necessary to correct it in time after seeing the child have such actions, otherwise it will be difficult to correct once the habit is formed, which is not conducive to the child's future growth. Next, I will talk about what can help my child get rid of this problem.

I don't know what other people think of this kind of child, but every time I see a child behaving like this, I am very disgusted and feel that his parents are not teaching the child well. Therefore, parents can't spoil their children, and their children need to be corrected in time if they have some problems, otherwise they may make big mistakes. In this case, parents need to stop the child from appearing for the first time, tell him that it is wrong to do so, and ask him to apologize to the other party.

In this way, the child will have such a sense of psychology, and if he recidivizes again, he will still do this, as long as he really realizes that such behavior is wrong, and he needs to apologize for doing it, they will slowly correct it. <>

There are many parents who feel sorry for their children, can't bear to scold their children, and soften their hearts when they see their children crying, but there is no way to educate their children. Therefore, you must be serious, no matter what, do not be soft-hearted, and you must make your child realize his mistakes. <>

In fact, many of children's habits are learned from their parents, and a child's ability to imitate is very strong. Therefore, if parents want to educate their children, they must first be a good role model for their children, and they can't just let their children be themselves. It is also important for parents to lead by example.