How to get rid of your child s bad habit of doing things slowly?

Equality Thinking Education Base Some parents asked: Children are very grinding, how to help children get rid of this bad habit? Mr. Tang answered:

If parents want to help their children, they must first be accepting. Acceptance means that you don't bother him in your heart. If you annoy your child and do things very abrasively, and you keep nagging him, the child will annoy you, and when the child annoys you, you will not be able to help the child.

This parent asks "how to help your child get rid of this bad habit", and when you define it as a bad habit, you can't help your child break it because you don't like him anymore. Therefore, the fundamental solution to this problem is that parents should accept their children, and there is no way to solve it when they can't accept it. So how do you help your child next?

Parents feel that their children are very abrasive, so parents need to figure out what friction is, and how can you teach their children to complete it quickly? Parents know what the friction is, know where the child is grinding, and then help him change that point, you can help the child. If parents can accept their children, they can see that it is normal for children to be like this, he is in difficulty, and he does not know how to do it without rubbing.

Don't think that the child's friction is his fault, and he deliberately wants to rub it. Children want to do things quickly but don't know how, so parents have to help their children. To solve such a problem, we have a magic weapon, that is, the three-step method of universal solution to family conflicts.

What is the three-step universal solution to family conflicts? First, the results are not good; second, blame me; Third, what can I do to improve? In response to the question raised by this parent, we will use the three-step method of universal solution, which is:

First, the child is rubbing, and this result is not good; second, blame me (blame the parents themselves); The third question is, what can I do to help my child become less sluggish? According to this three-step solution, you will find that the problem will be solved very well. Contrary to this practice, it is often impossible to solve it, and our parents' practice is often very consciously contrary to the three-step method of universal solution.

Why do we tend to choose an approach that is contrary to the three-step approach to the one-size-fits-all solution? Parents and friends who have participated in the family happiness course know that this is the instinct of human nature, and the instinct of human nature is contrary to the three-step method of universal solution, that is, it is impossible to do it, and everyone has to do it according to everything, and this situation often occurs. The three-step method of universal solution is a magic weapon to solve almost all the contradictions in the family, as long as you do this, you will find that the contradictions will be eliminated at once, and immediately transformed into a guide to solving the problem.

There are many friends who used to quarrel whenever they talked, but after starting to use the three-step method of universal solution, they immediately began to stop arguing and discuss how to solve the problem. I've tried it, and I know it's very effective.

Are you satisfied with the above?

In this case, many parents like to shout and constantly urge, but the result is that the more urging, the slower the child's movements, the more angry the parents are, forming a vicious circle. Not only will it not solve the problem, but it will get worse and worse.

You can formulate a plan and stipulate rewards and punishments, first slow down and then urgent, gradually advance, see progress to give a certain reward, see the lack of timely reminders (should be moderately grasped to grasp the measure, can not discourage his enthusiasm), of course, in the process of constantly helping him to correct this shortcoming, but also timely reasonable, clear right from wrong, otherwise he will feel at a loss! I believe that after a long period of correction, your child will definitely make great progress! (The process of correcting your child's shortcomings is also a process that tests your patience, so be mentally prepared!) Come on, parents!

Global Bible Reading·· Mr. Wang Xiaochen will answer for you, hopefully!

1. Make a plan: Some children are distracted because they do not make a regular study and life plan, they will become aimless, do not know what to do, and will not make good use of time. Parents can make a living and learning plan with their children, and then supervise their children to complete the set goals according to the plan, and give encouragement and praise each time they complete a goal, so as to slowly form good habits;

2. Concentration: Some children are mainly caused by inattention when doing things. For example, when writing homework, the slightest sound may divert attention from looking, resulting in the failure to complete the things that should be done well.

Parents should try their best to provide their children with a quiet and comfortable learning environment, reduce the interference of other factors, remind their children to do what they need to do at present, and slowly cultivate their children's attention to complete a certain thing;

3. Cultivate hobbies: Interest is the source of motivation for children, so to cultivate children's interest in learning or something, we can change the bad behavior of doing things. For example, parents can integrate knowledge into their children's lives and games, and adopt an entertaining way to enhance their interest in learning.

When encountering problems that do not understand, we should adopt an open-ended questioning method to let children master the methods of independent learning, such as what is the use of this thing, why it has these uses, how to use it, etc., and slowly stimulate children's ability to solve problems independently, so that children's action efficiency will continue to improve;

4. Overcoming dependence: Some children's friction in doing things may be caused by dependence on their parents. For example, when parents see that their child is not doing well, they will take the initiative to help him do a good job, which affects the child's ability to deal with things alone, so when he encounters some obstacles, the child will naturally like to rub and wait for the parents to help him do things.

At this time, parents should encourage their children to complete things on their own, praise them even if they do not do well, help them analyze and summarize the lessons of failure, and then provide opportunities to solve things again, and wait until the child feels a sense of success in doing things on his own.

1. Make a plan for your child and let the extra time be free for your childThe reason why children are grinding is because they have no concept of time and don't know how long it will take them to do something, so parents can make a plan for their children and list all the things they must do every day, such as what to do before school every morning, what time to get up, what time to leave, how long to brush their teeth and wash their face, how long to eat, how long to change clothes, and list them one by one.

This is done to let the Chunling children see what they can do in a period of time, once anything is refined, they will find that the time is actually very tight, so that the children have a sense of urgency, and they will not be grinding anymore. The extra time is free to use, which is a reward for the child, and the child will speed up for the reward.

Note: The plan must consider the child's time, and cannot blindly seek speed, resulting in the child always not being able to complete, so that the child will become more and more inferior in failure.

2. Put away your anger and encourage it insteadChildren are rubbing, and good-tempered parents also have late episodes of foot pants, but have you found it? Once the child is scolded, he will be more abrasive, on the one hand, the child begins to be distracted and does not do well, on the other hand, the child's resistance psychology, and even rebellion. Therefore, in the face of children's friction, we must put away our anger.

When your child does something fast, be sure to praise it, and more praise is also a way to increase motivation for your child.

3. Let the child bear the consequences of the grind. The child does not realize how serious the consequences of the delay are, so he is not afraid, at this time, the parents may wish to try to choose to let the child go, such as lying in bed in the morning, then let him rely on it for a while, eat slowly, do not rush. When the child arrives at the kindergarten and sees all the children sitting neatly, he will be panicked and embarrassed when he enters the classroom again.

Summary: Don't always scold and grind the child, sometimes the pace of the parents is too fast, try to slow down and wait for the child, because the child needs encouragement, the more encouragement, the more positive, let the child know the consequences, in order to know the mistake and change, so that the child can get the benefits, in order to continue to persevere.

The more you urge, the slower it gets, the parents have to change their strategies in order to show the wisdom of their parents, and whoever is in a hurry will lose when it comes to the problem of rubbing!

I'll tell you a story, my doll used to get up lazy and didn't eat breakfast, never urged to eat, was late soon, and didn't eat yet, and after eating two bites, I was going to go to school to study!

Later, I changed the method, no longer urging, communicated with the teacher in advance, I may be a few minutes late, don't urge him when eating, when she wants to leave, you have to rub it for a while when you want to eat, let him be anxious, repeat this problem twice and you can change it. The same is true for homework, let him say that he can finish his homework before what time, and he is not allowed to write it again when he puts it away, and hands over the unfinished homework to the teacher to deal with. The whole process is remembered to be gentle and firm, not impatient or impatient!

It works, try it, remember to give feedback if you use it well!

There are reasons behind the child's friction, when you don't understand these reasons, you will only think that the child doesn't take your words seriously or why the child is so bad, when we know the reason behind it, we will not be so impatient.

There are several reasons why children are struggling:

1. Children lack goals, no concept of time, for example, adults go out for a walk to exercise, it is expected that 30 minutes will end, and they will come back to do other things, but children have no goal when they go out, they should go out for a walk, but when they see the square dance on the side of the road, they stop to watch the dance, there is no time budget, and they have to see the end of the house.

2. Children pay more attention to the process, and do not pay attention to the result, the younger the child, the more so, for example, when the child takes a bath, he does not pay attention to whether the body is clean, but pays attention to how the water is fun.

3. The child's continuous attention is relatively short, and it is easy to transfer, for example, the child is getting dressed, and he sees the little penguin on the clothes, so he spreads the clothes on the ground, looks left and right, and after 10 minutes, the clothes have not yet begun to wear.

4. Children's ability is not enough to do things slowly, for children, anything needs to be learned and exercised, and it takes time to learn and try, and there will be a lot of episodes in this process, from basic self-care skills such as eating, dressing, to learning a skill such as painting, playing the piano and so on.

The main reason for children's sluggishness may lie in the education of their parents. There must be a reason behind his friction, perhaps the problems accumulated over a long period of time have caused the child to develop this bad habit, and the parents did not care when they first found out. It is recommended that parents and children popularize the meaning of time, so that children know the concept of being efficient in doing things.

At the same time, pay attention to the child's performance in specific events and make appropriate adjustments according to these. For example, if a child is struggling with homework, it is likely that his knowledge points are not firmly grasped, or he may not have a correct attitude towards homework, etc., and parents should do "the right medicine" is the best way to help their children.

1. Establish a concept of time for children: Parents can properly cultivate their children in daily life, such as brushing teeth and washing their faces for three minutes, dressing for five minutes, reading for half an hour, etc., and can use the alarm clock to remind their children, establish the concept of time, urge children to improve their efficiency, and reduce the opportunity of procrastination

2. Help children make plans: Generally speaking, children are not born to arrange and plan time, parents can cultivate good habits of children from an early age, such as what time to get up, what time to bathe, what time to sleep, etc., and children will gradually consciously complete these things;

3. Appropriate encouragement and punishment: If the child is filial piety, you can take appropriate punishment, in addition, parents should try to encourage as much as possible, and to refine to the small things, as little as possible with material rewards, otherwise it is easy to form dependence, which is not conducive to the correction of bad habits, and use more care and trust to help children.