Where there are the latest, fashionable, all sorts of jokes, send female angels.

After my colleague Xiao Liu went on a date with his girlfriend for the first time, he sighed to us: "Now that love is bullish, I spent more than 500 yuan today, and it seems that poor people can't afford to fall in love." ”

Xiao Zhang on the side said to himself: "Isn't there a money-saving love in this world?" ”

Xiao Liu said casually: "Yes, crush!" ”

On Sunday morning, the baby took a rag and said happily, "Mom, I have learned to wipe things!" ”

Mom said, "Yes! So what did you rub? ”

The baby smiled and said, "I wiped the table, the coffee table, and the toilet, and now I'm about to wipe the dishes." ”

The three-year-old baby was sent to his grandmother's house.

Grandma knew that the child's parents who had been in trouble for three days had quarreled again, so she joked with her granddaughter: "Baby, when Mom and Dad quarrel, which side are you on?" ”

The baby tilted his head, blinked his eyes, and thought for a moment before saying to his grandmother, "Stand by the bed." ”

When the teacher explained the word "miracle", he inspired the students to say that a man was about to commit suicide by jumping off a building, and when he jumped, a whirlwind lifted him to the top of the building. Students in unison:

Luck. Teacher: When he jumped down again, a whirlwind lifted him up to the top of the building.

Students shouted in unison: Coincidence. Teacher:

When he jumped down again, the whirlwind lifted him up to the roof again. Students shouted in unison: bragging.

It is said that one day, Liu, Guan, and Zhang were captured by Cao Cao and brought back to Cao Ying. At this time, Cao Cao asked his subordinates to move out a table of fruits, Zhang Fei thought that Cao Cao wanted to invite them to eat fruits, so he picked a favorite apple, but who knows, Cao Cao actually asked him to stuff the apple into the ass, of course Zhang Fei's apple can't be stuffed into the ass, so Cao Cao killed. Guan Yu chose a grape and smoothly stuffed the grape into his ass, but he was still killed by Cao Cao, because he smiled, and when Guan Yu went down to the underworld, the king of Yama asked him:

You could have been immortal, but why are you laughing? Guan Yu innocently said: "I saw Liu Bei holding a durian."

Once in the dormitory, my classmate's mother called me and I used to say "he's not there", but this time I wanted to say "he's out".

The result is: "He has..."gone".

One day, the husband asked his wife to do the laundry, and the wife said, "Why do you always let me do the laundry?" Didn't you say I was an angel? ”

The husband said, "Yes, angels are angels of heaven." ”

One day, a Caucasian child left the world and came to heaven. God saw him and said, "You are lovely, I will give you wings, and you will be angels!"

Another day, a yellow child came to heaven. God saw him and said, "You are lovely, I will give you wings, and you should also be angels!"

One day, a black child came to heaven. When God saw him, he said, "You are also very cute, and I will give you wings to be a bat!!

What fruit has the worst eyesight Mango.

Joke: One day, the Buddha and the Bodhisattva were chatting, and the Buddha said, "It will snow in the sky, and the snow will turn into rain on the ground, so it is better to rain directly." The Bodhisattva said, "If a person wants to eat, the food will turn into in his stomach, so it is better to eat directly." "I'm sorry, I only have jokes).

1, Xiao Ming asked his father: Dad, am I a stupid child? Dad said, "Silly boy, how can you be a silly child?"

2. The old couple went to take pictures, and the photographer asked: "Uncle, do you want side light, backlight, or full light?" ", Uncle said shyly: "I don't care, can you leave a pair of pants for your aunt?" "

3，.The four rats bragged: A: I eat rat poison as candy every day; B: I don't step on a mouse for a day and my feet itch; C: I don't have a lot of streets a few times a day; Ding: It's not too early, go home and pick up the cat.

4. A group of ants climbed on the elephant's back, but was shaken down, only one ant held the elephant's neck and did not let go, and the ants below shouted: strangle him, strangle him, sample, and reversed!

5, 20 years ago, Dad hugged you and waited for the car, and everyone laughed at the child for being ugly, and Dad cried. An old man selling bananas patted his father and said, "Big brother, don't cry, take a banana and give it to the monkey to eat!" It's pitiful, the hungry are hairless. ”

6, there was an old farmer hoeing in the field, a crow flew by, pulled shit and fell on the old farmer's face, the old farmer raised his head and scolded: "Your mother! I don't know how to wear a pair of pants when I go out! And the raven said, "! You're and wearing pants! ”

7. There is a fat man.

Jumping from a tall building.

It turned out to be.

Dead fatty. -8, a woman took a fake bill to buy breakfast, and the vendor was annoyed: "Sister, you can give the counterfeit banknote, at least it is printed, you actually painted this one!" Take 10,000 steps back and say, forget about the painting, you can draw a picture of ten or five yuan, and you can also paint a picture of seven yuan!

Seven pieces are seven pieces, at least you have to draw in color, you actually use a pencil, forget it, black and white is black and white, but you can't draw it with hand paper! The feel is too bad, even if it's hand paper, you have to use scissors to cut the edges, this is torn by hand, the raw edge is too exaggerated, okay, I also put up with the raw edge, but you also tear a rectangle, this triangle is too much to say.

9. During a military exercise, a shell deviated very far. The soldiers sent to inspect found that the shells had fallen in the field, and in the middle of the field stood a peasant, his clothes were torn and his face was black, and his eyes were tearful and he said: "Is it possible to steal a cabbage and bombard it with artillery???

10, the man was out on a business trip, suddenly came home, heard the sound of the man snoring at the door, the man walked away silently, and sent a text message to his wife: Divorce.

Three years later, his wife told him that it was a little lion of Rising back then!

A buddy plucked up the courage to confess affectionately to mm on QQ, and after a while, mm replied: I'm her mother, I'm here to steal vegetables.

= =……Just tell a few bad jokes.

I suggest you go to see "Love Apartment".

The key to a bad joke or a little joke between husband and wife is to make her happy.

Touts how handsome she is and how she loves her.

I opened my mouth and laughed a few times.

Once upon a time there was a wife who loved her husband very much.

One day she said to her husband.

Husband, husband, believe it or not, I use my tongue and hands to make you happy? Guess what my wife does?

Make a grimace and stick out your tongue. Think crooked, you].