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In fact, this kind of person who almost never loses his temper in social interaction is not a good person to associate with, and it can even be said that their personality trait is very dangerous.
Inhibition of inner emotions.
In our daily life, we may meet people who are mild-mannered, humble, rarely quarrel with others, and even if their interests are harmed in certain situations, they will also express their opinions relatively gently and will not be angry.
They have some of the following characteristics:
1. In fact, it's not that you can't get angry, but you're not very good at expressing your emotions;
2. They will suppress their needs, whether they are life needs or psychological needs;
3. Living a very tiring life, everything you do will limit your inner thoughts.
This kind of inhibition is actually very detrimental to the expression of feelings. We can imagine that when more and more negative emotions are accumulated in the heart, but for various reasons we do not vent them, the pressure on our thoughts and emotions is very huge.
So in this case, once the emotion is "ignited" due to some factor, the final result may be unpredictable.
In his masterpiece "Self and Id", the famous psychology giant Sigmund Freud systematically put forward a view of the individual's view of himself, and he divided human self-perception into three levels: "self, id, and superego".
The ego is a relatively basic level, which is greatly affected by human physiology. When this level of self is suppressed for too long, the personality at the level of self will lose control and engage in some uncontrolled behaviors.
Type C personality.
Psychologist Frigoman once distinguished between different personality types, among which type C personality refers to those who are accustomed to suppressing their emotions, and in the field of psychology, this type is called "cancer".
People with this kind of personality are often outwardly embodied in a kind of all-encompassing appearance, and in the eyes of outsiders, they are mild-mannered, approachable, and indifferent to all kinds of things that happen around them.
Such people tend to have a good reputation with others, because they are calmer and less contentious when they get along with others.
As the old saying goes, "self-cultivation and family rule the country and level the world", Confucius also said that "a gentleman should save himself every day", and to be a person with good character, he should restrain some of his temper to a certain extent.
But we should master this degree, after all, it is too much, and too much suppression of one's personality will cause damage to one's body and mind.
In fact, from a psychological point of view, regular and moderate venting of inner stress is conducive to physical and mental health. From an individual point of view, this behavior helps to unload the negative emotions that have accumulated in the heart and enable them to carry out their work and life better later on.
From a collective and social point of view, this kind of behavior is also conducive to social development.
For example, sociologist Georg Zimmer's "safety valve" theory and the famous social conflict theorist Cosse's research show that moderate collective emotional venting is conducive to the development of the whole community in a good direction.
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Not being angry, generally speaking, is a kind of self-cultivation, city-government, calm personality, calm and rational performance. The vast majority of people think it is a good quality and are striving for it. As for whether it is afraid or not, it depends on the angle from which it is judged.
If it is an enemy of such a person, it is terrible because the other party rarely has the opportunity to make mistakes. If you are friends with them, it is easy to get along with. In addition, whether it is terrible or not depends mainly on whether the other party is kind or not.
Are people who don't get angry scary? Know.
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A friend called, and his partner's attitude towards his suggestion made him unacceptable, and he could hear that he was a little angry at the end of the **, "Why, they don't understand me!" “。
Understanding friends, not all partners can be considerate of each other, just like my friends, who can't understand him, partners can't understand themselves. Yes, sometimes we can't understand others, but we ask others to understand ourselves. According to such rules, the partner's partner will also ask him to understand himself, and there is nothing wrong with this logic.
However, it is not necessary to be angry, yesterday I read a story: "There is a way to be angry", and the detailed story is something like this:
There have been many burglaries and robberies in a village recently, and on this day, a merchant's house was burglarized. He found his two sons and hoped that they would clean up the thieves, but they disappointed him. The boss said worriedly
If we retaliate, the thieves will surely target us, what will we do in the future? Never mind! The second child was indifferent:
If you lose it, you will lose it, and you will pay attention to it in the future. "After that it was like nothing had happened. The merchant was in a fit of rage and fell ill.
He began to think about who would take over his shift, and judging by the treatment of the thieves, both sons displeased him.
On this day, the merchant invited the doctor to see him and told him about his troubles. After hearing this, the doctor said, "Let's leave the deal to the second child." The merchant disagreed: "The family has been robbed, and the second child is not even angry, how can the business be handed over to him?" ”
The doctor didn't say anything and walked away quietly.
Soon, the government captured the thieves, and he was glad that the stolen things of the merchant had been recovered. Coincidentally, the doctor came back and forth, and persuaded the businessman to hand over the family business to the second child. This time, the doctor asked the second child face to face: "The family was burglarized, why didn't you ignore it and not get angry?" ”
The second child said: "What's the use of being angry? I have reported to the official, waiting for the government to solve the case! Besides, if they are strong and strong, they have to think in the long run. ”
The physician smiled and said to the merchant, "It is the coward who does not dare to be angry, and the wise man who does not dare not to be angry." ”
This is the end of the story, and it can be seen that the two children of the merchant are not angry, but for different reasons. Some people say: "You are angry because you are not generous enough"; It is also said that
To be angry is to punish yourself for the faults of others. "These words are also good, but they don't feel completely accurate, when people are angry, they are often because there is no way to solve the current problem, and the second child of the businessman's family is not angry, because he has found a way to solve the problem, and with a solution to the problem, he can easily deal with it, so he will not be angry.
What kind of people don't get angry? It's not a good old man who is generous and tolerant, it's not a good guy who thinks that all the fault is someone else's, only people who are good at solving problems and have the ability to solve problems are not easy to get angry. Therefore, we must continue to improve ourselves, when you can have the ability to solve problems, have the ability to convince your partners, and have the wisdom to build a team to start a business together, maybe you will be happy at that time, and the people around you will become sunny because of you.
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When people feel angry, they may behave differently. Some people may become impulsive and aggressive, while others may become negative and introverted. Therefore, whether or not people are scary when they are angry depends on how they behave and how well they are able to control their emotions.
If a person is able to remain calm and control their behavior in the face of angry emotions, then they are generally not considered scary. However, if a person loses control and exhibits fierce and dangerous stupid behavior, then their behavior may be considered terrible. Therefore, it is important to learn to manage your emotions to avoid unnecessary harm or fear of cheating.
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Yes, the most terrible thing is to get angry and not show it behind your back.
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Do you consider yourself a temperamental person? Or rather, do you have anyone around you who has a particularly big temper?
When it comes to "big temper", many people's first reaction is to resist, but in fact, it is good to associate with people who love to lose their temper.
1 Anyone who loses his temper will be very honest.
The more tantrums people have, the more honest and simple they have. They seem to be easily angry, but in fact, they are simply and directly maintaining their inner order and principles.
Yes, whether a person is worthy of deep friendship depends on whether he is sincere enough.
Every time you lose your temper, in fact, it is to show your bottom line and principles, if you interact with a person, he never reveals his principles, never maintains his bottom line, it may only be suitable for a general acquaintance who meets and laughs, but it is not suitable for in-depth communication.
2 He who loses his temper is less sophisticated.
Wilde said: We can always be gentle with those whom we do not care about.
I deeply believe that when we want to pretend to be a "good-tempered" person, it is good to be sophisticated and indifferent.
Just like now, there are many people around us who greet each other with smiling faces, after all, maintaining a superficial harmony and maintaining the image of a "good person" is what adults are best at.
However, as Lu Xun said: "The world is really a difficult place, and it is not a good thing to say that a person is 'not sophisticated', but it is not a good word to say that he is 'deep in the world'." ”
You can seek the world with people who are "more sophisticated than the world", and you can't share this life with people who are silent.
In contrast, I would rather have a deep relationship with someone who would reveal his temper than with someone who always wore a beautiful mask and never put his heart into account.
3 will lose his temper, and the relationship will be clear and long-lasting.
Yataro Matsuura said in the book "Live Your Life with Your Heart Today".
I tend to keep using things that are broken, and even think that the moment something breaks is when your relationship really begins, don't rush to throw away the new one right away, but make up your mind to fix it.
It's the same with people, after collision, friction, rupture to create a disagreement, and then slowly repair it, this is the real beginning of your deep relationship.
There is no instant soul in this world, and tantrums are just a run-in process. Rather than not saying a word, it is better to solve it on the spot every time an impulse occurs.
Really attach importance to a relationship, really want to have a deep relationship with a person, will not bury a lot of thunder in this relationship, two people come and go, and solve all the contradictions and conflicts on the spot, so that whether it is a friend, a colleague, or a partner, the relationship can last for a long time.
There is a saying: "The more people I know, the more I like dogs", because dogs are simple enough, like is like, dislike is dislike.
The same is true with people, don't be afraid of tantrums, deep friendship requires a moderate exposure of each other's emotions, both sides of the relationship in the process of emotional exchange to understand the real each other, the first step of heart-to-heart communication, is to let people see your sincerity.
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In fact, people can be angry, and emotions are one of the basic attributes of human beings. Often people feel angry or angry when they are being treated unfairly, lose control, or are frustrated. However, proper venting and control is very serious.
Excessive, unjustified anger can have a negative impact on physical and mental health. For example, long-term anger can lead to health problems such as anxiety, depression, and high blood pressure. Therefore, it is very important to vent and manage emotions.
When faced with frustration or unfairness, people can vent their emotions in healthy ways, such as playing sports, meditating, journaling, or communicating with friends and family. In addition, seeking professional help, such as through psychological counseling or**, can help people take control of their emotions and maintain their physical and mental health.
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It is difficult to succeed, so you must control your temper and not easily impose your emotions on others! Losing your temper hurts others, losing your temper will make everything go wrong, losing your temper will make your appearance worse and worse, losing your temper will make you lose your financial luck, and losing your temper will make you unpopular!
Love to lose your temper is the most loss-making thing, if you have too much temper, your popularity will be gone, if you have too much temper, your fortune will be scattered, your good fortune will be gone, and if you have too much temper, you will become ugly, and your appearance will become bad and noisy, so don't lose your temper!
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