Find a couple joke. 400 humorous jokes for couples

1. Shopping, Girlfriend: Ouch, my feet are so sore. Boyfriend is nervous: what's wrong? Did you step on a lemon?

2. Female: You are so good, you will be liked by more and more people, so what should I do?

M: I like it.

3. Recently, I worked overtime until midnight every day, and my colleague Xiao Zhang drove me home. I jokingly said to my boyfriend: Xiao Zhang sends me every night, aren't you worried?

Boyfriend said: Why aren't you worried? If someone doesn't send it one day, I won't have to pick you up on a cold day.

4. M: What would you do if I hugged you?

F: Resist! M: What would you do if I kissed you?

F: Resist! M: If I ......

F: It's endless! After all, a woman's strength is limited.

5. Every time I go to the street, I will definitely go to the clothing store and try on the coat. I tried it and didn't buy it. Never get tired of it.

Ask him: What are you doing?

He said: The shopping guide MM will take the clothes for me to wear, I like the feeling of reaching out for this clothes.

It is said that his fierce girlfriend shouted at him to bring her clothes to wear in the morning.

6. The little comma was dumped by his girlfriend and was grief-stricken. Friend comfort: Forget it, forget about her, it's no big deal!

The little comma cried: I can't forget, I bought a lot of things for her, all in installments.

7. My boyfriend and I were walking in the community and saw a couple hugging each other. I said enviously: It's so sweet, you can hug me too.

My boyfriend looked around and pulled me into his arms: it was warm to hug me when it was cold.

8. Female: Why do you keep chewing candy when you talk to me?

M: If you don't chew sugar, why do you get so many sweet words? Without sweet words, where can there be sweet memories?

Recently, I worked overtime until midnight every day, and my colleague Xiao Zhang drove me home. I jokingly said to my boyfriend: Xiao Zhang sends me every night, aren't you worried?

Boyfriend said: Why aren't you worried? If someone doesn't send it one day, I won't have to pick you up on a cold day.

One night, I met a kitten on the road, the kind that was still in the milk period, and it was very cute. A beautiful cutie wants to take her back to the dormitory, but the dormitory has rules that you can't keep pets, and you can't pass the building management level. At this time, a buddy spoke:

You put it in your bag, and if it calls, you pull your phone out and ......"

1, "Hmph, count your quick response!" 》

I just chatted with my husband, and then I said: "If you raise Xiaomi, you have to raise a college student, Chunchun is very cute, husband, do you say?" ”

My husband drove back and said, "Hmm! Well? What kind of Xiaomi, what kind of college student, as a man, you can only support a wife! ”

2, "Random Fate".

A colleague asked: You're not young anymore, why aren't you looking for a girlfriend?

I said, "Let it be!"

My colleague said: You deserve to be single, and the monks in the temple all say so!

3, "Guihe Kneeling".

My girlfriend ran out of the kitchen and asked me angrily: "One last time I asked you, is the dress I saw on the Internet expensive?" ”

I said pitifully, "It's not expensive." ”

She smiled at me, "It's not expensive, is it?" Then you won't kneel anymore. ”

As soon as she finished speaking, I stood up from the ground trembling against the wall.

4, "Kneeling People Forget Things".

I made a mistake and was punished by my wife for kneeling all day, and at night my wife asked her husband: "Remember why you knelt?" ”

Husband: "I don't remember. ”

Wife: "Yo, it seems that you haven't knelt enough?" ”

Husband: "No, no, no, it's because kneeling people forget things." ”

"Double Eleven".

Wife: People's husband's Double 11 directly bought out her shopping cart, you look at you again.

Husband: Haha, I've actually been ready for a long time.

Wife: Do you want to surprise me? Tell me, what's in store for me?

Husband: I didn't buy anything, I'm ready to be scolded by you.

Xiao Ming had a lot of fun, and Xiao Hong had a lot of fun. Happy and happy.

You're like a piglet, what! The pearl of my palm.

1. When a man and woman meet on a blind date, they are embarrassed to speak first. I sat in the room for a long time, and I still didn't know what to talk about. The man thought about it for a while, and finally came up with a topic and asked the woman:

Have you ever seen a tiger? F: I haven't seen it.

M: I haven't seen it either. The woman also thought about it for a long time, and then asked the man:

Do you dare to eat chili peppers empty? M: Dare!

F: I dare!

2. My boyfriend and I went to the park to play, and by the lake in the park, I saw a pair of mandarin ducks swimming in the water. I was very envious, I couldn't help but see the scene, grabbed my boyfriend's hand, and said affectionately: "My dear, let us be like this pair of mandarin ducks in this life and this life, swimming in this ocean of love forever, okay?"

After hearing this, her boyfriend laughed out loud, and then said incomprehensibly: "How can a mandarin duck swim into the ocean?" Unless it's a stick!

3. A girl in love asks her boyfriend: "How much do you earn every month?" Boyfriend: "I can earn money to support three women like you." Girl: "Well, when we get married, I'll take my mother and grandmother to live with us." ”

4, the beauty who has been in love for a long time MM confessed; mm: "I like to be alone. "I:

Who? mm: "I like to be alone.

Me: "Who?" ”mm：

I like to be alone! Me: "Who the hell?"

mm: "Sister likes to be single!" ”

5. After a big quarrel between the husband and the wife, the wife beat her mother. "He's arguing with me again! I'm going to come and stay with you. "No, no, my dear," her mother, "he must pay for his fault!" I'm coming to stay with you. ”

6. A couple of lovers who are about to get married are choosing a diamond ring. When the girl admired the diamond ring, her face suddenly became melancholy. She asked the middle-aged salesperson, "Is there any good way to maintain such a valuable diamond ring?"

With a good-natured smile, the salesperson said, "The best thing to do is to soak it in the dishwashing water three times a day." ”

Hello oh 1A shy young man is dating a girl for the first time, but he can't find a topic. Finally, he began to talk to the girl:

How is your mother doing? "Thank you!" She's fine.

What about the father? "It's good, too. "What about brothers and sisters?

Thank you! They are all living well. The young man Wang Ming was speechless again.

2.Sweet Whispering Girl: "Why do you keep chewing candy when you talk to me?"

M: If you don't chew sugar, why do you get so many sweet words? ”3.

In the astronomy class park, a young man meets a girl. The young man said, "You are my sun, my moon, and you are the brightest star in the constellation," the girl listened for a long time and couldn't help but say

Are you courting me, or are you giving me astronomy lessons? ”4.A man who doesn't know how to love, a shy man always.

Suitable for routine jokes between couples:1, "Horizontal and Vertical Are Dead".

One day, he had an argument with his second boyfriend over one thing, and he said, "Do you dare to bet with me".

I said, "Bet on it, bet on whatever.""

He said, "Bet on you marrying me or I will marry you!" "

Oh my God, I'm dead.

2, "With the Key".

A buddy matched all the keys to all the doors of his daughter-in-law's house before he got married! Open the door all the way on the day of the kiss! The bridesmaids are left messy in the wind!