Parents are too partial, what is the impact on children?

Only those who know her can understand the psychological basis for her to say this. In her family, her parents have a serious patriarchal mentality, from childhood to adulthood, she is just a dispensable existence at home, and all good things in the family are exclusive to boys. And she can only eat and use the boys' leftovers.

The eldest is good at all aspects of learning, the second is not treated at home, and after going to junior high school, he follows a group of bad teenagers, sometimes he doesn't go home for a few days or even more than ten days, and these two people also go to find it, and it is a violent beating to find it, but the more he beats the child's heart, the farther away.

If you can't heal the psychological trauma caused by parental partiality in childhood, it will be difficult for a lifetime. I've seen a lot of people around me who are partial to children, and I really can't figure it out, they are all my own children, do I love which one more? The child may become emboldened by the special partiality of the parents, and make some excessive demands, even if the parents feel that it is a little inappropriate, but out of preference for her, they will meet his requests.

Doing this for a long time can definitely be detrimental to the child's development.

Someone is born between several brothers, and his personality is a combination of the personalities of the elder brother and the younger brother. The elder brother has a large number and a small age gap, so he will be more like the elder brother; The younger brother has a large number of younger brothers, and the age gap between him and his younger brother is small, he will be more like a younger brother complaining to his mother, no matter whether what he said is true or false, in the end, his mother will beat Xiaohua, and while beating, he will say "Let you grab things from your brother, let you beat your brother......No matter how Xiaohua explained, her mother said, "As long as your brother cries, it's your fault."

It's always an attitude from your own standpoint. If you are not the child of this parent, your experience cannot be guaranteed to be accurate. Human psychology is like this, the same thing, different positions, different angles, different feelings and attitudes conclusions.

After that, there is still resentment in the subconscious, for example, after marriage, they will not take on the obligation to take care of their parents, "This is the son's business, I am the water spilled by the married daughter", they will also tell themselves. With the development of society, the awareness of equality between men and women is getting stronger and stronger.

It has a great impact on children, which will make children particularly insecure, and then when they grow up, they will become particularly rebellious, especially disobedient, and their personalities will become particularly irritable, without a good attitude, and secondly, it will also affect their children's academic performance and future.

The impact of too partiality on children is very great, because the partiality of parents will make children have opinions on their parents, and it will also make children have conflicts with their children, and will also make children hate their parents, and even destroy the harmony of the family, which may also lead to the breakdown of the family, which is the impact of too partiality of parents on children.

1.As a result, children will not be able to be lenient to others.

One of the children will be more arrogant and feel that he should be treated preferentially by others in the future, which will make the child form a bad habit of no one in the long run, while the other child who is not valued will become more inferior, insecure, unwilling to get along with others, and will become more and more withdrawn.

2.It will affect the relationship between the two children.

Due to the preference of the parents, the balance of the parents' hearts in the hearts of the two children has been tilted, which will lead to conflicts between the two children in order to compete for favor. Doing so will be detrimental to the child's own growth, and will create a hint to the child's psychology that I will not be punished for doing something wrong, and my parents will forgive me no matter what, while for another child, it will make him feel inferior, afraid that he will make mistakes, and will be scolded.

In families with many children, both parents often exist"Eccentric eyes"phenomenon. An unhealthy family of origin will have a negative impact on the psychology of children, whether they are favored or fall out of favor. The wounds of the unfavored children may take a lifetime to repair.

If the child of the person concerned believes that his parents are biased, and if the child is already deeply confused about this, or even affects his normal life and mood, then it really needs to be dealt with and resolved. But when it comes to solving it, it does need to be more cautious and take it seriously.

Human feelings are wonderful. Sometimes you have to marvel at the selflessness and greatness of human nature. But in another time and circumstance, in the same person, you may also see incredible selfishness and paranoia.

This is something for everyone to ponder. In the end, the child who is not favored will have low self-esteem, jealousy of the favored, and even resentment towards his parents, so that the child will have confrontational and rebellious emotions in behavior and even personality.

There will be another extreme, that is, the character is weak and incompetent, always thinking that parents will support everything, and if they are not thoughtful in case of trouble, they will be led by others. If parents treat their children differently, this is particularly prone to a series of problems, such as the problem of providing for the elderly, you are good to the child, he is not necessarily filial to you, so you want to rely on the child who is not good for you, do you say that people want to support you? Over time, this problem will take root in their hearts, making them think that they have done something wrong and that they are not good enough, which is very bad for the growth of children.

Children whose parents are partial will be very squeamish. You don't put too much effort into everything. The ability to succeed is relatively weak.

On the contrary, parents are not partial to children. Try it yourself, very hard. On the contrary, it will be very successful.

That's his insecurity. Parental partiality will cause the neglected parent to have an inferiority complex and become unconfident. Truth be told, children who are neglected by their parents are pitiful.

The child will think: Am I not doing well enough? Not smart enough?

Not beautiful enough to be good enough? That's why my parents don't like me?

Parental partiality towards children can make sheltered children more weak, and neglected children lose their sense of security and self-confidence. The harm brought to them by their family of origin will affect their choice of future.

Parental partiality has a certain impact on children. Parental partiality will destroy the relationship with the child, the child will have a great opinion of the parent, the child will feel neglected by the parents, will complain about the favored one, and they will become inferior and withdrawn.

The child will have a psychological shadow. It can make the child very rebellious. And it will make the child not think about other people's feelings at all.

becomes very selfish, and it will also make children hate their parents very much when they grow up. It will also affect the child's future and the child's education, as well as the child's growth and development.

The impact is particularly serious, first of all, it will lead to physical and mental injury to the child, and the child will not be confident when doing things in the future, and at the same time, he will not have any motivation, and his personality will become more and more rebellious, and he will also do some illegal behavior.

It will make the child's personality become particularly introverted, especially inferior, and it will also cause the child to rebel, so that the child will become particularly bad when he is independent, and it will also cause dissatisfaction, and the relationship between the child and his siblings will be particularly bad.

Children are very sensitive to parental partiality. If parents are always very kind to a child, yes, that child is always very picky, then the child who is picked on is prone to low self-esteem and lack self-confidence. Let your child resent you psychologically, and the feelings between parents will become colder and colder.

Parents who are too biased make their children feel insecure and have a hatred for their siblings. And the older you get, the more likely you are to rebel and increase your parents' attention.

Parents' partiality towards their children will affect the child's physical and mental health, and may even cause psychological illness. Children cannot be lenient. Children who are favored are not able to treat others equally in their dealings with other people, and are accustomed to receiving favoritism.

Affect the relationship between children. The most serious influence of preference is the relationship between children, and the favored often have a sense of superiority.

It will definitely make the child suspicious and sensitive, and it will make the child have a special inferiority complex, and it may directly cut off contact with the outside world, develop a relatively cowardly psychology, and dare not say anything when encountered, and will become a rebellious child after entering adolescence.

It will make the child slowly unable to feel the love of his parents, and the child will be very sad, and in the process it is also very aggrieved, and when I see other parents treat their children, they are also very envious, so slowly the child will stay away from their parents.

Hello, if the parent is too partial, the child will be impressed, she will think that the parents do not love her, and some extreme will even give up life.

If the child is too eccentric, it will definitely have an impact on the child. Children, so that you yourself are not concerned by adults, and you are not good enough, resulting in inferiority complex and cowardice.

In a family, let's say there are two sons, if the parents prefer the younger son. That would make the eldest son feel that he was not treated well by his parents. He will have some low self-esteem for a long time, and at the same time, he will have some resentment.

It will make the child feel that he is dispensable in this family, and then, he will leave this home for various reasons, and may face some psychological harm.

First of all, this concept is a subtle inner hurt for children who are elders. Maybe your parents are casually saying that you have to let your younger siblings because they are younger than you. But this sends a negative message to the elder child – that the parents favor younger siblings, and I am not watching.

The psychological damage this causes to children is enormous. Children who grow up in this environment will invisibly increase the estrangement from their parents, and children will think that their parents do not care about them. This can create more insecurities for the child.

Especially those children who are not good at communication are not concerned at school and do not feel the attention of their parents at home, which is a huge psychological trauma for children. Over time, the child's personality is different, but the parents are not aware of it at all, so that in the end, tragedy occurs, and it is already too late. Some people may question that it is impossible for an elderly child to have such a scary outcome for his younger siblings.

Indeed, because of this concept, there are indeed few tragedies, but that does not mean that there are none. In reality, there have indeed been tragic incidents of hurting younger siblings in order to compete for the attention of parents, and it is necessary to prevent it. In addition, there is no doubt that this concept will slowly become a psychological trauma for the child and will slowly accumulate into the child's negative emotions.

Second, this kind of thinking can create a false perception for favored younger siblings that it is only natural for older siblings to let me help me. This also has the realistic "Fan Shengmei" incident. The girl died unexpectedly, and her parents claimed 410,000 yuan from her company to buy a house for her younger brother.

The younger brother also gladly accepted it, and never understood his sister, who had never taken care of him, as if his sister was obliged to help him even if he died, because he was the youngest in the family. Think about how terrible this perception is.

In the end, in the face of this perception, how to correct it is the key. This belief has a long history in China, and among most Chinese parents, it is so ingrained that it is difficult to change. However, that doesn't mean it can't be changed.

Parents, schools, and society can work together to change this. Parents are the most critical link, because parents are the first teachers of children, and they are also the most important companions of children during their growth. If parents do not instill in their children who are elders from an early age the concept that "big must let the young", and do not instill in their younger siblings the concept that "older brothers and sisters will let you".

It is to educate children, whether they are older brothers and sisters, or younger brothers and sisters, to help each other and be humble to each other, rather than blindly humble, and endless humility is called "doting". In this way, the child can grow up healthily in a harmonious family.

If the parents have a preference for this child, the child will be proud of himself, so he can easily form a bad habit of being strong and unreasonable. And the child who feels that his parents do not love him will feel frustrated, have low self-esteem, lose self-confidence, and do not want to trust others.

2. Eccentric parents can easily make some children disrespect their elders, they don't take their elders seriously, and another child resents their parents because they don't love them.

3. Parental partiality will lead to a bad relationship between siblings, one party is very domineering, one party hates each other, they are incompatible, not to mention brotherhood.

4. Parents are partial, children do not know filial piety when they grow up, lack of love, and favored children always rely on their parents, which is not conducive to self-reliance, on the contrary, they will be selfish.

Parents should avoid it.

1.Don't discuss them in person.

Being discussed by someone else is hurtful, even if the person is a child. As a parent, you should never discuss them in front of your children, and even if you do, you should choose to discuss them in your child's absence. Therefore, parents must pay attention to the choice of occasions and topics in their usual conversations, so as not to hurt their children's "hearts".

2.Do not compare the strengths and weaknesses of the child.

"Every child has advantages and disadvantages, and as parents, we must not compare the advantages of one child with the disadvantages of another. Even if it is to spur and motivate "backward" children to improve, it is not advisable. In your usual words and deeds, you should also pay attention to proportion, and you must not put words such as "If only you had a brother who is half well-behaved" and "Look at how smart your sister is, why are you so stupid".

3.Meet your child's demands fairly.

For the reasonable requirements of children, as parents, we must uphold the principle of treating things not others, treat them fairly, and must not be biased because of their own temporary "selfishness", let alone ignore or even refuse the same requirements, because a child is not good enough or makes mistakes.

4.Reward or punish equally.

If the above three points are difficult for parents to grasp the scale, then this point is very clear. For example, when parents express their love, they must bring all their children with them, and when they buy clothes for their children, they must take one set per person, buy a gift, one for each person, and when they go out to play, either bring them all or none of them. When a child makes a mistake, it should be punished as a whole, and there should be no distinction between big and small mistakes, master and accessory, and indulge and shield one of the children to avoid punishment, but the intensity of punishment can be reduced according to the size of the child's mistake.

5.Individualized care is given.

For different children, parents should have an equal attitude, but at the same time, they should also give full play to their respective advantages and treat them differently according to different rankings. For example, encourage the elderly to take responsibility and be more humble. Encourage younger children to learn more and respect more.

In this way, children will respect and love each other in different ways. When a child makes a mistake, the two children are punished together, and when one child improves, the two children praise and encourage, and in the "joint" and "favor", let the child feel the preciousness of brotherhood and be grateful to each other in the growth and progress.