Why do I become a loser when I fall in love? How can I change myself?

Many people will become troubled after falling in love, because your life is disturbed by a person, you have to change your attitude towards life according to the rhythm of the other person, and you will worry about this person. If you want to change this situation, you can do what you want to do in your spare time, and don't think about your lover too often. Everyone is independent, it is impossible to live for others, or to own their own life and career.

There are some people who have never been in a relationship before, and when they are actually in a relationship, they will show obvious discomfort reactions, and they simply do not know how to deal with the relationship. This is relatively normal, because you used to live alone and you can only think about what you like, and you don't need to think about others at all. After falling in love, you must divide your heart into two halves, put half on yourself, take care of food, clothing, shelter and transportation, and put the other half on others.

For example, you need to think about what the other person likes to eat when you are dating, and you can't order food at all. This is actually a sign of love, if you don't love this person, you won't care what the other person thinks. However, you can't let this emotion disturb your life, and you still have to restrain yourself a little.

Everyone doesn't want to have a big twist and turn in the pace of their lives, so they can also make appropriate changes. For example, divide your life into work, love and private time, so that you can make a more reasonable division. When you are working, you should complete everything seriously, so as to gain the trust of the leader and make you feel like a fish in water in the workplace.

And when you are in love, you need to invest your time and energy wholeheartedly, get along with your lover well, and don't be half-hearted. Personal time belongs to you, and you can do what you like, such as painting or listening.

Falling in love is just a part of life, don't care too much, as long as you're happy, don't be too humble.

Because you love each other very much, you will suffer from gains and losses, and you are afraid that the other party will break up with you; I think you should give the other person personal space, trust the other person, keep yourself busy, participate in more social activities or outdoor activities to relieve your mood.

Because you care too much about the other person, the other person occupies all your time, don't put all your attention on the other person, and leave a certain amount of personal space for both parties.

Personally, I think you are insecure, so you will suffer from gains and losses when you are in love; Don't treat feelings as the whole of life, you should have your own job, have your own career, and keep yourself busy will not be like this.

In our daily life, everyone hopes that they can meet the person they like, love demonstrates beautiful, so that our life is full of infinite fantasies, if there is no love, we are no different from animals at all, love makes us more advanced, no matter how difficult life is in the future, we hope that we can be with the person we like. In love, I become a victim of gains and losses, will such a hail relationship continue or end? I always feel like I have gains and losses in love, and I don't think there is any need to continue this relationship, because being a person who really loves you will not let you have such thoughts, it will give you a sense of security, and will love you in various ways, instead of letting you be in a terrified relationship every day.

One. Maybe you don't love it very much, let it go early.

In a relationship, it is a very common phenomenon to suffer from gains and losses, if the other party does not care about their feelings at this time, then there is no need for this relationship to continue, because of gains and losses, it may be because of a lack of security.

When the other party makes these performances, they will make themselves feel the relationship and have no place to make themselves feel safe. At this moment, I think we have to plan for our future life, don't hang on a tree, we have to learn to look forward, if we can't find our own positioning and love in this relationship, then there is no need to talk about it. <>

Two. We will meet better people, don't stop there.

Girls are very insecure, if a boy really loves you, he will observe your words and actions, because the other person's eyes are all about you. People who don't love you very much, make you feel that no matter what you do, you can't feel the love of the other party, and if this kind of relationship continues, it will also be a harm to yourself, wasting each other's time, torturing each other, such feelings are what we don't want to see, it's better to let go as soon as possible. <>

The above is just a personal opinion, so do you think it is necessary to continue to talk about such feelings?

First of all, I want to tell you that this kind of thing must fluctuate, so I think it is normal for me to become a loser in a relationship, so whether to continue or end, this is not decided in this way, it is normal to suffer from gains and losses, it is impossible to destroy feelings without fluctuations, it is normal to have fluctuations, a person is an emotional animal, then this kind of animal, then there will be gains and losses, especially many boys in the process of feelings, I still remember when we were in high school, my table mate changed three girlfriends, I think he also suffers from gains and losses, in fact, I think it is a very normal thing, in fact, in life, it is not as smooth as everyone thinks, sometimes there are all kinds of situations, so if I think it, in this case, it is normal to suffer from gains and losses, so do you think you should continue or end, in fact, I think so. If you want to continue, you can continue, if you want to end, you can end a little, it's such a relationship thing, you also have to see if it's suitable or not, there is no right or wrong in the relationship itself, only the right and inappropriate, if it's suitable, just go on, if it's not suitable, it's not the end of it, it's actually very normal, so if you talk about this kind of thing, you have to think about it yourself, in fact, on the road of feelings, no one can replace you, No one can make decisions for you except your own words, so it's up to you to consider this kind of feeling. If you want to end, then you can end it as soon as possible, anyway, the two of you have no feelings, or don't let each other suffer, then after the end is the most familiar stranger, in fact, in real life, many people are like this on the road of feelings, many people go to the end, then the relationship is also coming to an end, in fact, I think you should go with the flow.

So the emotional thing is ultimately up to you to decide, in fact, everyone is like this, not only you are the only one, everyone has encountered this kind of problem, I am also a trembling oak like this, I think it is very normal to suffer from gains and losses in the relationship, when you have nothing else to do but are thinking about the gains and losses, it means that you are completely addicted to the feelings, so this kind of thing is like this, Therefore, if you want to live a better life, then you don't want to get old and find a main business to do emotional things, which is just the condiment of life.

If Sun Chuan is me, I will choose to end this relationship, since we choose to fall in love, we hope that we can be able to become happy, and we can go on forever in the happiness of love, if we become friends because of falling in love, we will lose our original intention and purpose, I don't think this kind of love is worth continuing.

This feeling should end, because you always suffer from gains and losses in love, and the other party can't give you a sense of security, so it's more tiring for two people to fall in love.

I Zheng Chakai thinks that this kind of relationship should end, because in love, I have become a loser, which means that the other party is not very critical to this relationship, and there is also a dispensable state for you, so this kind of love relationship is not solid, and ending this relationship is the best choice.

I feel like I'm always going to have a lot of gains and losses when I fall in love, what's wrong with me? Many people feel that they are in a good state when they are single, but as long as they fall in love, they will suffer from gains and losses, and lack of security, this is because of the reason for having anxious attachment, as long as they get along with people, they will suffer from gains and losses, and for this anxious attachment, there are actually many ways to resolve it.

1.Try to find a partner who is securely attached and put yourself in a relationship that is secure and identifiable. It is recommended that people with anxious attachment should pay attention to the attachment type of the other person when looking for a lover and try not to contact the avoidant attachment group.

People with anxious attachment need a sense of security and preference that is visible to the naked eye. Only the tireless recognition and preference of the other party can gradually fill in the lack of heart and gradually gain trust. Spending time with someone with avoidant attachment only exacerbates the fear and distress of the anxious attachment person in intimate relationships.

As for anxiety caused by yourself, it is not really a relationship problem, but a boundary that you set yourself. Aware of this, you need to face up to and accept every mood swing caused by personality flaws and resolve it on your own; You just need a ** process, be tolerant and patient with yourself.

Because no one has given you preference since you were a child, you are very insecure, so when you are procrastinating, you will often question yourself and the other person, and then you are very afraid that the other person will leave you.

I think it's because you lack some sense of security, so I think you should be confident.

This condition may be due to the lack of some sense of security in a relationship, which can lead to the patient's loss.

The insecurity in a relationship is not only manifested in the interaction between two people, this phenomenon may have been present since childhood. Because of their parents' educational problems, children have not been cared for and cared for since they were young, and their emotional needs in this regard will be particularly strong when they grow up. Especially girls.

Girls are delicate in their minds and sensitive to other people's opinions, so they need others to care about them. In life and work, they not only pursue a result, but also value an experience.

Whether others are good to me, whether they care about themselves, and whether they will give themselves good help in life. This creates a problem. If a person is extremely insecure, it will lead to a "demanding" mentality.

I would ask too much of everything from the other person. If he can't satisfy me, then I will feel very angry and suspicious. I don't know if the other party doesn't love themselves and doesn't care about themselves, whether they will be more "selfish", causing emotional distance between the two parties.

In this case, the first thing to do to improve the performance of insecurity is to "improve yourself" and make yourself better.

Generally speaking, the lack of security is caused by being "dissatisfied" with oneself, which also indicates that a person is not capable of feeling secure. Essentially, it is also a manifestation of a sense of self-powerlessness. If you can grasp everything and get everything by your own efforts, you will not be dependent on others, so you will have a stronger sense of security.

Secondly, I don't treat the other person as my own private property, but the other person is a part of me. In relationships, love is very possessive, so it is important for each other to do their best to hold it in their hands. To maintain an intimate relationship with each other, you need to help each other, support each other, and then grow together.

It is normal to feel that you are always suffering from gains and losses in love, after all, everyone's heart is different, but you must understand that love is to pay sincerely, regardless of return, only in this way can you win the other party's sincerity. There are always gains and losses, which is not good for love.

Such a feeling must be very bad, if you have such a feeling, it means that you do not have a more confident statement about your love, or you feel that your love will not have a happy ending, so you should still let yourself have a good attitude to face your feelings, don't let yourself have this kind of thought.

When two people get along together, there will always be contradictions, so learn to run in with each other, dare to express when you feel dissatisfied, and don't let the dissatisfaction accumulate to a certain extent, so that it may explode one day. Therefore, when there is a dissatisfaction, it can be adjusted and resolved in time.

Suffering from gains and losses in love is a very serious problem that needs to be solved as soon as possible. You can ask the other person to write a pledge to love you for 1 lifetime. Also, you need to improve yourself so that you can be confident.

In love, you yourself always suffer from gains and losses, in fact, you are disturbing yourself, then, you are looking for trouble, so you should care more about the other party, let the other party know that you love him, this kind of words can gain his trust.