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I don't keep stressing it just because my child makes a mistake. When a child makes a mistake. Next time, the adult will keep repeating and telling the child how you made a mistake. He will have low self-esteem and guilt.
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Family affection and love cannot be used as a means of punishment. For example, "You go, I don't want you anymore" and "I don't have a shameful child like you" cannot use insulting words. For example, "learning bullshit is not" and "mud can't hold up the wall." ”
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I think it's just resolutely not to be sarcastic and sarcastic about children. My child speaks late, and some parents will say that their child is stupid, and I think it is particularly bad, so I will keep encouraging my baby, and now he is very fluent.
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Never hit a child. You must reason with your child when you encounter something, and you will find that your child is actually more sensible than you think.
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I will not use corporal punishment of children, which will not only harm the child's body, but also hurt the child's mind. Not good for education.
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I would never hit a child. The child is so small, so tender, so cute, how can he be willing to hit the child? If the son doesn't teach, the father's fault, if you want to beat me, you will beat my husband!
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I don't think corporal punishment should be used to punish children, because being beaten, scolded, and punished is often a painful experience for children to "never forget", because not only the flesh suffers, but also the soul may be traumatized. Even though a child is rarely subjected to corporal punishment now, the frequent mention of his past "history of humiliation" in front of others will still put him in extreme embarrassment.
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I don't laugh, I don't even talk about it in front of relatives and friends, so that my child will feel more embarrassed and even worry about being ridiculed and ridiculed by others.
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I will not expose the child's privacy publicly, I can't say that the baby wets the bed in public, and I can't shake out the intimate words between the baby and me, the child may say that he doesn't like someone, or he may say that he will marry so-and-so when he grows up, etc.
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In the process of parenting, parents have no bottom line to satisfy their children, which will affect the child's three views, will make the child become a lazy giant baby with a plum, and will also make the child become more and more selfish. Every parent loves their child, but not every parent knows how to educate their child. People's living standards are getting better and better, children have become the center of the family, they are treated like parents have not enjoyed since childhood, many parents think that to meet the requirements of their children, to give the best to their children is the love of children, but they do not know that this idea is harming children.
After many years, those children who are infinitely satisfied are completely different from those who are raised in the rules. Parents will eventually grow old, and children will grow up, but what kind of education they receive from an early age will make them what kind of people they become, and the harm caused by infinitely satisfying children has far-reaching consequences.
When any of a child's needs can be satisfied, he will feel that this society should be like this, as long as he has a need, whether it is legitimate or not, it must be satisfied. It is difficult for such a child to establish a correct three views, and his future life will not be very exciting.
Children will always be able to take their requests for granted, and they will not be able to understand what it is like to be denied. As children grow up, their demands become more and more excessive, and parents are powerless to do anything about them, they will blame their parents for not being able to meet their demands, and such children will become more and more selfish.
The bottomless satisfaction of parents will also make children stupidly think that they don't need to work hard to get everything, and such children are likely to be completely dependent on their parents when they grow up, and they will become lazy giant babies and gnawing old people.
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The child may have a very serious love affair, and the child may not have the ability to take care of himself in life, and will become very cowardly, will not protect himself in life, has no own views and opinions, and may be particularly rebellious when he grows up, and will contradict his parents, and his personality is not good and irritable.
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This will make the child become lawless, which is not conducive to the child's growth, and the child will become very willful in the future, and at the same time, it will become a white-eyed wolf, and the child does not know what is hard to make money, how thick is it and how difficult it is and so on.
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These harms may make the child become very unscrupulous, will make the child become very pampered, will make the child become vexatious, and will also make the child become impolite, and will make the child learn not to respect others.
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If parents are always too doting on their children, no matter what kind of requirements the child puts forward, they can meet them without a bottom line, which will only lead to the child growing up to be still a "giant baby", who does not know the warmth and coldness of the world, and has no ability to stand on his own, which will only harm the child. In the end, what kind of harm will excessive spoiling of parents bring to children? Let me take a look at it.
1. Children will grow up to be selfish.
If parents are always tolerant of their children, never willing to scold their children, no matter how many bad things the children have done, how much mistakes they have made, and the parents still do not want to guide their children to do good, then the children who grow up in this environment will only become more and more selfish. In their world, the concept of "self-respect" has been formed, and no matter what kind of things and interests they face, they will think about themselves first, not their parents or lovers.
Second, the psychological tolerance will be very poor.
If parents can always take the initiative to help their children solve problems when they encounter problems, instead of guiding their children how to acquire problem-solving skills, then children will want to rely on others when they grow up to encounter setbacks. When they encounter things, it is often difficult for them to cope with them alone, and their psychological tolerance will be very poor. In their cognition, everything can be solved by relying on their parents, and if their parents can't solve it, what can they do?
So not only do they have a poor sense of responsibility, but they also have a weak ability to bear it.
Third, it is more difficult to integrate into society.
Children have always grown up under the care of their parents, they are used to staying in the greenhouse created by their parents, and once they are allowed to integrate into society alone and face the wind and rain outside, it is difficult for them to do so. Because they not only have less consciousness in dealing with others, but also less the possibility of being kind to others. Their more vision for the future is still to be a "giant baby", everything is arranged by their parents, they don't need to use their brains, let alone hands, they have parents to make wedding clothes for themselves.
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The child's personality becomes more rebellious, the child does not understand the hard work of his parents, the child does wrong things, the academic ability is not enough, the communication ability is weak, and the tolerance is poor and weak.
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It will make the vanity of the child Hongfan overflow, and it will also make the child become selfish, resulting in their poor inner ability to resist pressure, and it will also directly affect the three views, and it will be difficult to integrate into the society in the future, which will be extremely harmful to the child's physical and mental development.
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Children will become very irritable, they will become very proud, they will also become very uninterested in learning, and they will become very impolite and irrational, and this is not conducive to the physical and mental health of children.
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Let the child's personality become more rebellious, let the child ruin the chain and not understand the hard work of his parents, the child and grandson will do wrong things, the learning ability is not good enough, the ability to make friends is not enough, and the ability to bear is very weak.
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Enli comes from harm, and harm comes from begets kindness. The longitudinal son is like a murderer.
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On Douyin, I swiped the four bottom lines of life taught by a mother digging stupid parents to her children, I think it is very interesting, and the excerpt is here to learn with you, how to educate a child with a bottom line.
First, the bottom line of life. Be independent, both in terms of the economy and spirituality.
Second, the bottom line of the body. Never hurt your body for anyone or anything.
3. Emotional bottom line. Don't give without a bottom line for someone who doesn't love you.
Fourth, the bottom line of life. Life is above all else, and don't give up on selling your life at any time.
Nowadays, children are rarely frustrated and educated, and it is common to hear that there are children who commit suicide by jumping off a building because of a trivial matter. What a terrible phenomenon this is.
How difficult it is for parents to have a child. Too much energy, material and financial resources have been spent in this process. I can't wait to give my child all the love from my heart and lungs.
However, children can give up their lives because of occasional unsatisfactory studies or life. Failure to recognize the preciousness of life. This happens to be the bottom line education and the bottom line of life that is missing in children's education.
If these four bottom lines are taught to children from an early age, then children will not do some out-of-the-ordinary things in the process of growing up, or even give up their lives.
Children will also learn to love and protect themselves better. Learn to be independent. Learn self-respect and self-love, and will not lose your self-life without dignity for others.
A child's education is a huge undertaking. It is also a work that cannot be changed. Therefore, parents should educate while learning in this process. Don't spoil your child and don't teach your child the correct three views. The correct three views can make children live more freely and happily.
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<> "Don't train in front of people."
The parents of this Huai have a zipper on their mouths.
Children also want to save face, and reprimanding children in public is actually showing the child's ugliness, this kind of aggressive behavior will break through the child's last psychological defense line and shame.
In order to maintain their dignity and face, children may resist fiercely, or they may flee silently.
Educate the child that it is better not to have a third person present.
Li Meijin. Some mistakes don't necessarily have to be solved on the table, and it's never too late to criticize or reason with your child when you're alone.
Only when the child's self-esteem is protected and respected will he be willing to try to accept the criticism and suggestions of his parents.
Do not promote your child's shortcomings or privacy.
No matter how young the child is, he also has self-esteem, and he also needs to save face.
The child is not an accessory of his parents, he is an independent individual, and from the beginning of his self-awareness, he gradually has self-esteem and cares very much about the evaluation of others, especially his parents.
Sharing your child's shortcomings or privacy as a joke without your child's consent will hurt your child's self-esteem and self-confidence, and make your child feel inferior.
The more parents do not publicize their children's faults, the more their children value their reputation, the more careful they will be to defend their reputations. On the contrary, the child's desire to protect his reputation will be weak. --John locke.
Children who are often counted out in public by their parents are likely to be extremely self-denying when they grow up, and even cannot find the value of survival, and will gradually lose trust in their parents, unwilling to open up to their parents, and the parent-child relationship will become more and more alienated.
Don't praise others in a way that belittles your child.
Some parents want to motivate their children to keep improving through this "debasement".
But in the eyes of the child, the mother is denying herself, and she will become more and more inferior.
Although children are young, they have strong self-esteem, they crave the approval of others, especially their parents, and they also need the encouragement of their parents to protect their sensitive self-esteem.
As parents, we should see the shining points in our children and guide them to carry them forward.
While praising other people's children, there is no need to belittle your own baby.
Look at your child's growth objectively, neither overly praising nor deliberately.
Save face for your child.
The child's face is his dignity in the world, and saving face for the child is also giving us our own dignity.
Don't embarrass your child in front of others, maintain your child's self-esteem and face, especially before the child is 3 years old, the better the parents do this, the more confident and secure the child will be.
In order to protect the child's face, ASTIME can ask the child more about the "minefield", know what things the child does not want to be talked about, and record it and be careful not to "step on the mine".
Take your child's comments seriously, and if you find that certain topics are causing your child's discomfort when you are in a public place with your child, change the subject immediately.
Once a child's self-esteem is damaged, it will be difficult to repair it.
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The studious and easy-to-remember slip with a small tadpole, look for his mother, and find a big frog; The little windmill, so happy, purring, dancing and singing.