How to deal with the asymmetry in friendship?

I don't think it's too much to dwell on the asymmetry in friendship, sometimes the more you dwell on the gains and losses, the easier it will be to lose a friendship.

All emotions that interact between people do not follow the principle of equivalent exchange. So, all emotions, the other person did not give you the same response, did not break any rules, and did not have to bear any responsibility. Since it has nothing to do with others, I can only find a way to start with myself.

Situation one, the other party really doesn't treat you as a friend. One possible reason is that you have a bad eye and are always unable to find the right target group to try to build a relationship. Another possible reason is that you are not socially attractive, to put it mildly, lacking in personal strengths and character strengths.

Situation two, you feel that the other person doesn't see you as a friend. The reason for this is complicated and difficult to explain. I'm trying.

The first explanation: everyone doesn't have a lot of friends, and if you feel sad that many people don't put you in a position of deep identity, you may have a problem with interpersonal proportion.

The only one who puts everyone on the tip of their hearts is Grandpa Mao, and there will be no second person. The second explanation: your requirements for friendship are too strict and strict, you draw too high a line for others, and any behavior that the other party does not satisfy you will be interpreted as a lack of profundity in friendship.

I think true friendship is that we are free with each other, and we have the right to choose who we talk to, who we eat with, and who we go shopping. Maybe I can't always talk to you alone, always play with you alone, and I can't admit that you are my best. But you know, when you need me, you come to me, I will be there, I will accompany you to face the wind and rain, and go with you.

Friendship is actually quite fragile, once some external factors are added, it will fall apart, such as money, fame, the opposite sex, etc., when there is an unequal relationship in the friendship, it means that the relationship is no longer a friendship, end it.

In friendship, there must be one party who pays a little more, and then the other party pays a little less, since they are friends, they must understand each other, no one is perfect, if you feel very uncomfortable, then sit down with them and talk.

I think two people should be an equal relationship, people are an equal relationship, if this is the case with an unequal relationship, it must be improved, it is easy to collapse if it is not improved, so be cautious and pay more attention to each other's feelings.

This problem is very normal, and it is impossible for a person to treat all his good friends with a bowl of water. There are always a few people who are the best, and a few who are average, don't pay too much attention to this problem.

I think the asymmetry in friendship is a very normal thing, friendship is something you want to do, if you feel uncomfortable, then don't be friends.

You must have a positive attitude, not all circles you have the best relationship with others, and don't desire that you can always be the best.

Inequality is normal, people are imperfect, everyone thinks differently, and we must gladly accept this inequality.

There is no absolute fairness in anything, and so is friendship, as long as it makes you happy, it is worth it.

There is no such thing as absolute equality in the first place, and if you really feel unfair, you can give up this friendship and find a reciprocal friendship that suits you.

Normally, it is impossible to repay all efforts, and it is impossible for us to return the same amount to everyone who is good to us. Just ask for a clear conscience. Take it for granted.

My idea is that there is no need to last on an unequal friendship, even if you are good to him, he will not treat you well, in life, there are many people who like to speak ill of people behind their backs, and while saying bad things, they will always slander them. It's better not to go on all the time, it's not very good for yourself. And in your future friendships, it will be a bad behavior.

You have always been good to her, but people don't accept it, what can you do to the other party? You might as well let go of this idea and start your next relationship.

I have a few suggestions:

When you make friends, you have to be in a good sense of proportion, and in the process of dealing with many things with him, you should not handle a matter by yourself. You have to discuss it with him, and in the process of discussing with him, it is important to make a detailed plan and assign the work well. Don't end up being the only one doing things, but what about him?

What are you doing playing with your phone? Don't always think that I've done everything this time, and the next time I do something, he can come alone.

You are good to him, you have done something, and instead of thanking you, you slander you in the back, saying that you are not doing this or doing that wrong, and pointing fingers at you, what should you do? Before it happened, he didn't say it, after the incident, when he saw your problems, he criticized and educated you, and in the end you yourself were not happy, and you yourself were unhappy, he didn't say anything, just gave you a few perfunctory words on his mouth, saying that it was okay, and next time I would do this with you, and the result was that he ran away and let you deal with this matter alone.

We should abandon these people, and in the process of making friends in the future, we should stay away, if we have a conflict with him, we will give in a little, and don't worry about him, and in the end, if we can not be friends with them, we will try to stay away from them, and it is not good for ourselves.

My idea is that it is not recommended. There is no need to continue unequal friendship, in my cognition, although making friends is a kind of communication, but people don't live for their own happiness, so I think making friends should be with their like-minded people. Moreover, I feel that if there is that kind of unequal friendship that is related to me, it will do more harm than good.

First, it will let yourself unconsciously form a "pleasing personality".

In the process of getting along with his companion, the companion does not regard himself as a real friend at all, as if he is his subordinate or retinue, and allows himself to follow him, and this friendship is not equal. The other party only asks for how he is, and he doesn't care about his own state. If you are a little different from this group, you will alienate yourself, and when you lack the company of your partner, you want to join a small group, and you can only constantly please others, which leads to your own people-pleasing personality, which is not conducive to your own development.

Second, it will make you unhappy.

Because this kind of unequal friendship will make one's heart unhappy at all, in the case of this unequal friendship, you just blindly please each other, and you don't get anything back; My heart is unbalanced, and at the same time I feel very tired and depressed. If this goes on for a long time, your own unhappiness will inevitably affect your body and mind, and you may develop depression.

Third, it will make your mental development abnormal, and may even be psychologically distorted, and you are prone to jealousy.

Depending on the situation, the friendship can be stopped.

There are many kinds of unequal friendships, money, status, concepts, etc. For example, money is not equal, one is poor, one is rich, and what the rich have seen and learned since childhood is different from the poor, and it is easy to cause a sense of disparity. Another example is status, which is also very different from money, and those with status are usually richer in money. It's better not to be friends if it's not equal, they all say that they should have the same circle, and they should have something to say to be friends, and there will not be many topics that should be the same if they are not equal.

Our so-called pay is not what the other party needs, maybe this friendship is not equal, we may feel that we don't want much, but we can't force the other party to change for us, maybe we need each other more, there will be this friendship, in friendship pay and need are always confused, it seems that we pay a lot, maybe because we need each other more, in the seventh season of the strange story of Li Ma Dong made a deep impression on me Friendship is a debt, you owe others.

Friendship is an emotion that comes from a two-way (or interactive) relationship, that is, an emotion that both parties condense together and must be maintained together.

In principle, friendship is a relationship that seeks to maximize benefits and minimize costs, and is a necessary need for people to achieve happiness. Friendship has intimacy as the core ingredient, and intimacy is also known as an important indicator of the degree of friendship. Friendship can meet the social needs of individuals, bring emotional support and a sense of belonging to individuals, enhance their happiness and meaning of life, and play an important role in people's lives.

Friendship is not the blind contribution of one party, but the efforts of two people to maintain, and the friendship paid by only one party cannot last long.

Friendship is sharing, if you have something you like and are interested in, the first thing that comes to mind is to share it with your friends. Friendship is trust, trust in friends is a testimony of friendship, but also a kind of respect for friends, don't easily doubt your friends because of others' discord, always believe in each other.

Don't bend your waist countless times to get an indifferent low-eyebrow squint. In exchange for condescension, the other party will only become more and more condescending and commanding. The more you give, the more humble you become.

As someone who has experienced unequal friendships, I believe that friends give to each other. If this friendship makes us feel uncomfortable, then there is no need to grieve ourselves. Only with like-minded friends will you go further

If you find that there may be an unequal friendship, don't rush to end it first, you can talk to the other person first, and tell each other what is in your heart, so that the problem can be solved. Some people have a big personality, and the other party doesn't care about this friendship, but they just feel that real friends don't have to be so polite.

If the other person takes everything you do for granted, you have to let the other person know that this unequal friendship does not want to continue, and stop giving for the other personThe most important thing in this world is people, and there is always someone who finds the friendship that you think is equal.

When the idea of such an unequal friendship arises, it means that there is already a problem in the friendship between the two parties, and since there is a problem, it needs to be solvedCommunication is the best choice, and the result of communication is nothing more than two things, continue and stop

A good friendship is about making both parties a better version of themselves. Disagree, disagree, and deny others. But they will not lose themselves, maintain their independence and mutual respect.

But more importantly, you have to think about why unequal friendships? How can we get the same friendship? Then your conditions should be basically equal.

You have nothing to ask for and nothing to want from him. You're just appreciating each other, loving each other!

Friendship can't be forced, and it's difficult for different circles to get along! It is often said that flowers are fragrant and butterflies come from them. The original intention of friendship. It's about appreciating each other and pleasing each other. If friendship becomes a bondage, a kind of compromise, a kind of grievance. Then don't!

Friendship is a harmonious equality. —Pythagoras

Unequal friendships don't need to continue.

I hope that everyone in the world can have a friendship forever.

I think the premise of being friends is equality

If you and your friend were built in an unequal relationship, then I guess you must have become friends for the sake of profit and not for the sake of treating each other sincerely.

When people interact with each other, it is often the same people who are like-minded to feel comfortable together. In the same way, you become friends because you share the same ambitions. And the most important thing is that your relationship is equal.

If it is an unequal friendship, for example, your friend is a rich man and you are an ordinary person, then your friendship with him will eventually crack because of the gap between your rich and poor.

Rich people will think that they have to listen to him if they are richer than you, or that you will not dare to disobey your rich friend subjectively. Such unequal friendships will only lead to ruin in the end.

We often say that all people are created equal, but life tells us that there are always some people in this world who always have more than us, and our relationship is not absolutely equal.

But I think, if you were a very rich person, would you choose to make friends with ordinary people? You definitely won't, don't believe what is played in the TV series, what a rich man and an ordinary person call brothers, these are all lies. It will never appear in life!

Friendship needs reciprocity.

All friendships in this world are based on reciprocal relationships.

Even in TV dramas, there will be such a scene - two good friends had a very good relationship when they were children, and they were admitted to the same university in college, but after entering society, gradually, one of them was very capable and eventually became a very rich big boss.

At the beginning, the rich man was very good to his friend, but over time, the relationship between the two faded, because the environment of the rich man was different from that ordinary person, and the vision of the two people was different, and their ambitions were even different. Eventually, their friendship broke down.

Actually, that's what it tells usA reciprocal relationship is what makes a friendship the basis of a relationship, and once one of the parties becomes unequal, then the relationship breaks down.

Reciprocal friendship.

Friendship neither requires slaves nor rulers, friendship likes equality. — Gonchagov