Why is it that after going to college, the relationship between my parents is close to the point of

Why is it that when you go to college, your parents' relationship is close to the point of divorce? Actually, it's very simple, because if they divorce before you go to college, I'm afraid it will affect your grades.

There is a common phenomenon in China that husband and wife have no feelings but still have to continue to live, what is the reason, that is, for the sake of the child, in order not to affect the child's learning, not to affect the child's character and life growth, etc., in short, everything is for the child! <>

Many families are afraid that their divorce will cause too much harm to their children, and then they have endured until the children grow up, they feel that the children at this time are also healthy and sensible, and they know more or less about feelings and marriage, so they start to plan to divorce when the children go to college, so that they will not have too much impact on the children, and the children can almost realize that it is a painful thing for two people without feelings to live together. I can slowly accept the divorce of my parents.

In fact, parents for the sake of children, is also very hard, has been to endure the marriage life that has existed in name only, all say that for the sake of children, I hope not to cause unnecessary impact and harm to children because of the divorce of two people, I hope that the child can grow up healthily, and when the child goes to college, you can choose to divorce, at this time the child is no longer a child, but an adult with his own opinions and ideas, so they choose divorce at this time is often the most appropriate time. <>

Now I'm about to go to college, and my parents don't have such a thing as divorce, although they often quarrel, but the more they argue, the better the relationship, so they won't say divorce. However, this is not the case for some families, whose parents are just like the title, and the relationship reaches the point of divorce when the child goes to college.

In general, their relationship was not so good a few years ago, but they were afraid of affecting the child, so they have been creating an illusion of harmony and love in front of the child, and this time is getting longer and longer, so that the estrangement in this person's heart is getting bigger and bigger, and the dissatisfaction with each other is getting more and more, but it is still for the sake of the child, they continue to live now. is waiting for the child to go to college, and as soon as the child goes to college, the two people can finally treat the love life of the two people with the true feelings of their hearts, that is, "divorce". <

At this time, many parents are in this situation, they actually have no feelings, but it is still the same sentence, for the growth of their children, endure a little longer, endure a little longer, just wait for the child to go to college soon, at this time they can face their true selves, real life.

Sometimes I feel very wronged by such parents, because for the growth of the child, for the sake of the child not to become a single parent, continue to persevere, continue to endure, just wait for the child to break out when he goes to college.

Why is it that after going to college, the relationship between my parents is close to the point of divorce?

Oh my God, I feel like I can do that, I'm drunk. My parents were also in college when they were in college, and they suddenly had a very strong quarrel and were about to get divorced, but fortunately, everything was a false alarm, and they have now reconciled.

At that time, my dad was on the verge of collapse, he called many relatives and friends, pouring out his pain, among those relatives and friends, some persuaded peace, some persuaded to divide, and some didn't care. Of course, my dad also called me **, expressing his pain, he said that now that I'm grown up anyway, he doesn't need to worry about my life, so he wants to do something he wants to do, of course, he won't treat my mother badly, after all, he has raised my mother for so many years, and now he suddenly doesn't raise it, he can't say it, and he can't get over his own hurdles. As for me, although I didn't want them to be separated, and I felt that my mother would not be able to bear such a blow, I couldn't say anything, after all, I understood my father's pain.

My dad would call ** to tell my second aunt about his feelings, and my second aunt actually agreed with my dad's idea, because her perspective was from my dad's point of view, and she didn't consider my mother's feelings. I actually resented such outsiders meddling in my family's affairs, and persuading them not to make peace, but I didn't show it, my performance was very calm, and others could hardly see my attitude, except for my father, who might be able to feel a little dissatisfaction.

As for my mom, of course I didn't say anything about my dad's considerations, otherwise she would have quarreled even more, I just hope she can understand my dad a little more and don't always quarrel when she is unhappy.

However, after that period of time, my parents reconciled again, and I think my dad's reaction was entirely because he had been suppressed for so many years because of me, so after I went to college, my dad was completely relieved of me, so he could release his depression and do what he wanted to do. But everything will not be so satisfactory, and when my father found out that he could not be unscrupulous, he returned to the peace of life.

Maybe you were ready to get a divorce before, because you didn't go to college, and you have been dragging you to college, and it may come to an end.

If parents have emotional problems or even want to divorce, as children, where should we go? The specific views are as follows:

First, enlighten your parents and try to save the situationIf there is a problem in the relationship between parents, then we, as children, must dissuade and enlighten as soon as possible. Of course, no matter how old we are, we are always children in their eyes, and maybe they will think that we should not care about the affairs between the two of them. But we need to tell them the pros and cons of divorce from the perspective of our children, at least let them know that after divorce, home will no longer be home.

We can try to salvage the situation. If we insist on divorce, we can only blame the reality, leave our relatives and friends, and repay it in the future.

Second, if we are sure to divorce, if we are students, we can only study hard, at least in the future to be able to support ourselvesIn the second case, if we are still students, at least we have not stepped into the society, no income, no job, no economy, then the best way to face such a situation is to study hard. Because in a way, home is no longer homeThe only thing we can do is to further ourselves and enrich our knowledge and skillsWhen we step into the society in the future, we will be able to be handy, at least we can have a good job. At least in the future, I can pave a decent way out for myself.

Third, if our parents are divorced, if we work, then go to work with peace of mind and be responsible for ourselves in the third situationIf our parents insist on divorce, and we have already stepped into the society to work. So looking at the problem from the perspective of adults, what the older generation decides, our younger generations may not be able to change, and we can't change anything, the only thing we can do is to go to work with peace of mind, the parents are still the same parents, but the home is no longer complete. For this reason, we can only live a good life and regain ourselves and go to work with peace of mindIt can be regarded as worthy of their years of nurturing grace and worthy of themselves.

Personally, I thinkFollow DaddyIt's better.

1.Theoretically, follow DadIt's safer

Generally speaking, with my father, they are all relatives here, and they are all related by blood; Treat children with sincerity and care; And if you follow your mother to become a father, you have to accept all family relationships again, which is a bit too much for the child to adapt to; And it is not easy for a mother to take her child to a new home, and it is also difficult to accept the child; And the father wants to form a new family, and it is easy for the child to build a good relationship in ordinary contact, after all, it is still a little better for the child in his familiar environment.

2.The mother takes the child and forms a new familyIt's still hard

As we all know, it is far more difficult for a woman to rebuild a new family than for a man; After all, she has to go to a new environment again, and she has to deal with interpersonal relationships again; If you bring a child, you have to worry about whether the child can adapt to it, and you also have to worry about whether the other party can treat each other honestly, otherwise you will be swept out of the house accidentally; This will cause a lot of psychological trauma to the child, and it is difficult to repair! Of course, there will be good men who are good to women, but there should be very few of them.

3.Personally, I think it's not easy for childrenBlend into any new family

It is far from indescribable for a child to be hurt when his parents quarrel, after all, this kind of child will be careful in later life so that he will not become a burden to his parents; What's more, the child should re-enter the new environment to adapt, and only in the usual familiar environment will he live happily and healthily, which is also the best place for the child; Of course, it is better to be able to be by the side of parents, there are many who have done well, divorced and not left home, so that the children can grow up healthily! That's great!

Of course, I still hope to be able to go on with marriageDon't give up easilyFinish! After all, it's really true to be able to come togetherIt's not easyFinish! We can't take it lightly eitherThe word divorceIt's in the mouth, after all, it's hurtFar more than yourselfFinish!

And the perimeterLoved ones, children！Only by treating marriage well is good for everyone! It's also a happy and successful result!

Children should follow their father or mother, after all, if there is a problem with the relationship between the parents, it is difficult for two people to be together, if there is too much dissuasion, it is actually very unfair to the parents, and the children should remain calm.

Children should make a plan for their own lives, because it is a relatively normal thing for their parents to divorce, but they should not be affected by this matter and continue to live well.

Children should be raised by both parents, either directly by the father or mother if the child is younger, or by the child if he or she is older.

As a child, you can talk to your parents first to see if they really can't get by or are angry. Sometimes children also have to be considerate of their parents, divorce may be a choice to tolerate for a long time, so as children, the final choice should be given to parents.

The children should regulate the relationship between the two people, and if they have to divorce, the children should also support them and let them pursue happiness on their own.

If the parents really can't stand each other and often quarrel together, it's okay to agree to their divorce, after all, they are themselves first and foremost, and they are your parents.

As a child, you can only obey the choice of your parents, because it is your parents' business, and as a child, you should not interfere with your parents' decisions.

I think as a child, we should go with the flow and respect the choice of parents, after all, the twisted melon is not sweet.

If the parents are divorced, if the child is a minor or cannot live independently as an adult, the child's college expenses should be borne by the parent who is not directly dependent. The law stipulates that after a divorce, if the child is directly raised by one party, the other party shall bear part or all of the child support, and the maintenance fee includes the child's tuition fees, so when the child is a minor or cannot live independently after adulthood, the non-direct parent is still obliged to pay for the child's college expenses.

Article 1085 of the Civil Code of the People's Republic of China: Where children are directly raised by one party after divorce, the other party shall bear part or all of the child support. The amount of the cost to be borne and the length of the period shall be agreed upon by both parties; If the agreement is not reached, the people's court shall make a judgment. The agreement or judgment provided for in the preceding paragraph does not prevent the child from making a reasonable demand to either parent in excess of the amount originally set forth in the agreement or judgment when necessary.

At the time of divorce, if the children have reached adulthood, the court only needs to grant the divorce and settle the division of property, and no longer solve the children's problems. In the event of a dispute between the parents over the age of 8 over that a minor child over the age of 8 should be living with the father or mother, the child's opinion shall be taken into account. A child under the age of 2 years shall be awarded to the mother.

Article 1084 of the Civil Code of the People's Republic of China: The relationship between parents and children is not extinguished by the divorce of parents. After divorce, the children are still the children of both parents, regardless of whether they are raised directly by the father or mother. After divorce, parents still have the right and obligation to raise, educate and protect their children.

After divorce, children under the age of two years shall be raised directly by the mother. For children who have reached the age of two, and the parents fail to reach an agreement on the issue of custody, the people's court is to make a judgment based on the specific circumstances of both parties and in accordance with the principle of concealment that is most beneficial to the minor child. Where children have reached the age of 8, their true wishes shall be respected.

Divorce of parents is not conducive to the growth of children, when encountering this kind of problem, children should coordinate from it, deal with it carefully, try to help the father and mother solve the problem, or control it within an acceptable range, if the efforts to do are hard to be limited, you can only go with the flow, as for which parent to live, that is to choose and decide.