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When I find that my husband makes his own decisions every time he does something, and he won't consult his own opinions at all, he will feel very uncomfortable, after all, two people are husband and wife, and what to do should be discussed by two people, but he is always in charge of himself, just informing himself, he feels that he treats himself as an outsider. <>
I think first of all, you should talk to your husband and see if he doesn't look for himself every time.
What is the reason for the discussion, is it that he thinks he can solve it himself, so he doesn't have to trouble himself, or is he used to being alone, and then you can also tell him that you want him to discuss with him every time he decides on something, so it is a respect for you, and it will feel very good to be solved by two people together, and there is a sense of participation, every time you decide by yourself, it will make me feel that there is no sense of participation, I am not completely integrated into your life, It doesn't feel like we're that close, I think you can express your thoughts to your husband, and if he really gets used to it or thinks he can do it himself, then he will change after listening to your ideas. <>
Because it is possible that he was used to it when he was alone before, and now he will feel very uncomfortable after getting married, but when you explain it to her, he will definitely discuss it with you next time. I think there is a problem between husband and wife, the most important thing is communication, two people sit together and communicate well, say what is in their hearts, don't let the other party guess, because it is possible that they will not think of it, tell each other bluntly, you are not doing well to make yourself uncomfortable, and then he may correct it next time, so that two people can grow together and make progress together.
Every couple must have a run-in process with each other, so that they can understand each other better and be familiar with each other, so we can communicate well after encountering problems, and then solve problems.
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I think first of all, you should talk to your husband to see what the reason is for him not to discuss with himself every time, whether he thinks he can solve it by himself, so he doesn't have to trouble himself, or he is used to being alone, and then you can also tell him that you hope that every time he decides on a matter, he can discuss it with him, so it is a respect for you, and it will feel very good and involved if two people work together to solve it
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You should express your own opinion, and you should also tell your husband that you can't disrespect my opinion like this, and secondly, you should also let your husband respect you well and discuss anything with you.
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In such a situation, you should talk to your husband more so that he can change such a bad habit, and at the same time, you should let him make your opinion.
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I sat down and had a good chat with my husband about this matter, hoping that my husband could respect himself and his opinions.
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You need to tell him what you think, if you don't say it, then he won't feel that there is anything unreasonable about what he is doing, you need to tell him that it is disrespectful to himself to do this, and some things still need to be negotiated together, you still have the right to decide, and he can't have the final say alone.
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Then you don't have to pay attention to him, you don't have to help him when he is in trouble, and he bears the consequences of his own decisions.
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My husband doesn't ask your opinion on what to do, as long as he is sincerely for the good of the family, then you turn a blind eye and let your husband toss it! Give him full trust in this way, and you will also be idle, which is good for both of you.
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Your husband doesn't value you and doesn't ask for your opinion on anything, you should show your own attitude and have an in-depth conversation with your husband and tell him that if he doesn't take you seriously, you will leave him.
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You can have a good talk with your husband, ask him why he didn't ask your opinion, and if he finds that it is really wrong, ask him to discuss it with you in the future.
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Be sure to strengthen communication, let your husband understand your ideas, and make your husband respect your opinion. Elevate your status as well.
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Your husband may do things without asking your opinion because you never express your opinion, you have to express your thoughts to him and make decisions with him.
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If you don't believe in you, your ability will not work, so you have to improve and show your ability appropriately.
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You can tell him what you think, and the guy probably won't think about it so much.
My dad is like this, sometimes he just thinks there is no need to say, anyway, he may have mentioned it before, and then he did it, although I don't quite understand the boy's thoughts, but sometimes he is really nervous, but sometimes it may be my mother who disagrees, but he really wants to do one thing, so he cut it first, such as buying a pet dog, my dad likes dogs very much, my mom doesn't like it, so my dad bought it himself and brought it back, anyway, I was very happy.
I think your husband doesn't discuss with you, it is estimated that these are these two reasons, so if there is something in the future, you can talk to him about it with you no matter what you do, and he will definitely have a snack if you say more, anyway, they are all husband and wife, there is nothing bad to say, I think you have to say your thoughts, it is not a matter for you to discuss with us, and your husband does not know that you are not satisfied with this.
If your husband discusses it with you, then you don't have to deny him in a hurry, after all, marriage is a matter of two people, and your husband also has the right to decide on your family's affairs, so even if you don't want him to do that, you have to discuss it with him and strive to reach an agreement, which is better than him having no choice but to cut first and then play. For example, if my dad bought a pet, in fact, if my mother is willing to discuss it a little, we can buy it as a family, choose one that the whole family likes, but now we all like it.
So in addition to saying what you think to your husband, sometimes you have to be a little softer and not so tough. Of course, it may also be that your husband is machismo and thinks that he has to make any decision, so he doesn't discuss with you, so you have to be tough at this time, don't listen to him all the time, and sometimes it's okay to lose your temper.
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Of course, this is a particularly bad behavior, and it is too manly to have an idea, too disrespectful, such a man must be well nagged with him!
As a family member, as the hostess of the family, and as a member of the family, all major and minor matters in the family should be handled and resolved by the husband and wife through joint consultation. This is the respect for each other and the basis for a husband and wife to live together amicably. Why does he decide some things for himself without even discussing them, so what will he do with you as a wife?
In the face of such a situation, I think there are two main points that need to be considered and dealt with. The first point is that you need to self-reflect and find the reasons within yourself. Think about it, is it because you usually can't agree with him about anything, and when you are inconsistent, your attitude and reaction will be particularly strong and sensitive, which makes him overwhelmed, and slowly leads to his reluctance to discuss and communicate with you, or dare not talk to you at all?
This is a common problem of many men, they would rather cut first and then play, or don't say anything at all, and hide if they can, which is caused by the wife's incomprehension or improper handling of the two after many differences of opinion. So, if that's the case, you have to talk to him and try to adjust your mindset and behavior to deal with the problem.
There is also the second case, your husband is a selfish person. It's a man's idea, and he is used to making his own decisions about everything, and he doesn't know how to think about it from the perspective of his family and wife. Then for a person like him, either you have a big quarrel with him, which is more serious, and you want a result.
Of course, the premise is to score something and something. Because the purpose is to let him know the seriousness of the matter, so that he can take into account your feelings when dealing with things in the future, know that he comes to you to consult, pay enough attention to you, and respect you. For his attitude of making decisions without discussion, he must be treated well, which is clearly disrespectful to others.
With what you know about him, whether to quarrel or use some little trick that you think he will be afraid of, let him remember it for a long time, and make him aware of his problems.
Either way, it will take both of you to work together to improve your situation. After all, you are husband and wife, and you must be considerate and tolerant of each other at all times. Only in this way can family life be more harmonious and life happier!
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In my opinion, the lack of negotiation is mostly due to machismo and a weak sense of family. Whether in the family or in personal life, men have a lot of macho thoughts, which is largely due to gender, and out of male dignity and self-perception, they will take self-treatment and judgment for granted. At the same time, the concept of family is not strong, on the other hand, the concept of family is not strong, which is mainly reflected in the individual's understanding of the family as a collective, and does not think that the so-called equality and integration of the family, everyone in the family is an inseparable part, and the so-called unity and cohesion of the family requires that everyone be given the right to participate in the decision-making of family affairs.
Negotiation and the struggle for one's own rights are two aspects that must be taken to solve the problem. Discuss with your husband in the form of a family meeting, talk about the importance of family values, as well as your personal views on family affairs, and express your own demands. At the same time, even in family life, the active struggle for individual rights is also an indispensable process, to actively participate in the decision-making of family affairs, can not blindly and passively wait for the other half to inform and tell before putting forward opinions, and in the expression of opinions must be insightful and referential, otherwise even if you participate in the discussion, there is no appropriate countermeasure, it will only make the situation of consultation difficult to maintain for a long time.
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Actually, I think this question is quite easy to handle, mainly depending on what your husband did without consulting you, and then judge what you should do for what he decided without consulting you?
For example, if he wants to invite colleagues and friends to his home for dinner, if he decides to invite these people to his home without consulting you, you can also find a reason, such as working overtime or having some unexpected event, in short, you can't help him entertain these people at home, because you don't know in advance, so there is no way to solve it. He can only be entertained at home by himself. If your husband is not tired, let him do it slowly, I believe that through this time he will have a long memory, knowing that there is something not to discuss with you, so he made a decision on his own, so he has to clean up the mess by himself.
So if there is something you have to think of to solve it, or for example, if your husband didn't discuss with you, he decided to lend the money in your family to other people, you must find a way to find out a reason why you must use the money immediately for your husband, you must not show that he lent money to others, you are very dissatisfied, but show that you are very supportive of his approach, but you need money in your family now and you can't solve it, let your husband find a way.
If you do something like this twice, your husband will know that there are things that should be discussed between the husband and wife, and that they should not make decisions on their own.
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It is your luck and your misfortune to meet such a husband, as long as he is not too extreme machismo, most of them can be achieved through persuasion. If it's not too important, it's better to be more tolerant, you have to think like this, your own husband can make decisions without authorization, which means that he is an assertive person, which is better than a person who has no opinions. That's my advice, I hope it works for you!
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Husband and wife still need to communicate more, it is not easy for two people to form a family, and when they encounter problems, they will naturally discuss and solve problems together, if they are just one person to face, they will also have an impact on the feelings of two people.
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If these issues are minor, he can still make his own decisions. If it exceeds your bottom line, you should still remind him. After all, the life of husband and wife must be discussed. That's a sign of respect for each other.
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Your husband's behavior is machismo. I think you should tell your husband directly about your dissatisfaction. Then let him change it a little.
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If the couple has a problem, they can open their hearts to talk or use the emotional tone of the outside world.
Through these two genera, your husband will feel that you are also an upright person and that you are also a part of family life. The husband privately decides that one thing is disrespectful to his wife, but there is a point, do not drop things to solve the problem.
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You can tell your husband what you really think in your heart, so that he can discuss it with himself next time he encounters something, and if you don't talk about many things, the other party will not consider your feelings.
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