Ask for some funnier text messages, ask for especially funny text messages

There was a very rich countryman, one day to go to a five-star hotel, suddenly he wanted to, so he went into the toilet, found that the toilet lid could not be opened, so he had to pull the on the toilet lid, and then to wash his hands, he casually pressed a button, the toilet lid suddenly bounced, the was bounced to the ceiling, he looked at it and felt embarrassed, so he went out to find a cleaner and said: "I'll give you 500 yuan, help me clean it." "The cleaner came out and found the big money and said:

I'll give you 1000 bucks, and you tell me how you pulled on the ceiling!!

1.The soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine during the battle? The company grew up annoyed: Damn, what can I do? If you step on it, you will be compensated according to the price.

2. After a long time, Mo received your message I am very distressed I think of death I have cut a pulse with potato chips and hit my head with tofu I jumped over the building with a parachute and hung myself with noodles But I am dead You just invite me to have a meal and I will die if I die.

3. If you feel cold and cold, please call me**! Please press 1 to talk about feelings, press 2 to talk about work, press 3 to talk about life, press 5 to introduce me to the object, please talk straight to dinner, and please hang up if you want me to borrow money.

4. The giraffe married the monkey, and a year later the giraffe filed for divorce: I don't want to live this kind of jumping up and down anymore! The monkey was furious: Leave or leave! Who has ever seen a kiss and have to climb a tree!

5. The fish said, "I keep my eyes open all the time because I am reluctant to leave by your side." The water said, "I have been flowing tirelessly all day long, in order to carry you up around you." The pot said, "It's almost ripe and you're still so stubborn." ”

6. Have you eaten? Please receive a text message. The elephant discharged its feces on the road**, and an ant happened to pass by, it looked up at the misty peak, and couldn't help singing: Yalasuo, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau!

7.The four-year-old boy kissed the three-year-old girl, and the girl said to the boy, "If you kiss me, you will be responsible for me." The boy patted the girl on the shoulder maturely, smiled and said: Don't worry, we are not children of one or two years old again.

8.A patient with indigestion complained to the doctor: I have been very abnormal recently, what to eat and what to pull, cucumber to cucumber, watermelon to watermelon, how can I get back to normal? The doctor is silent for a moment, then you can only eat.

Enough is enough

Money can buy a house but can't buy a home, you can buy marriage but you can't buy love, you can buy a clock but you can't buy time, money is not everything, but the source of pain, give me your money and let me bear the pain alone!

I want the sun to warm you, decorate you with starlight, intoxicate you with wine, satisfy you with delicious food, shine you with fireworks, and drown you with happiness, but I have not been a god for a long time, and I can only wish you a text message: Happy every day!

Do you want to get rich? Do you want to hand over the peach blossom luck? Do you want to be an official? Do you want to become an overnight success? Do you want to stay young forever? Do you want the whole world to go crazy about you? - Don't think about it, wash your feet and sleep!

On a rainy day, it's wet, and the mood is so wet. Every night, you just stared out the cold window, watching stupidly. I walked over and said to you softly:"Wangcai, go in, the one who sent the bones won't come today.

Yesterday I saw on the Internet that the model of mobile phone you used was particularly radiating. I jumped down. I was just about to inform you, and I saw that it said that it doesn't work for people with an IQ of less than 50. That's what reassures me. Don't worry, just keep using it.

Seven precepts after meals: one precept to smoking, two precepts to eat fruit immediately, three precepts to relax the trouser belt, four precepts to drink tea immediately, five precepts to walk in 100 steps, six precepts to take a bath immediately, seven precepts to sleep immediately! Bajie, have you remembered?

Secret recipe: mobile phone batteries will be difficult to charge for more than 2 years, soak in 50% alkaline water can prolong the service life, and can also play a role in the maintenance of new batteries.

The fish said, "I keep my eyes open because I am reluctant to leave by your side." The water said, "I have been flowing tirelessly all day long to surround you and hold you tight." The pot said, "It's almost ripe and so much." ”

Why don't you search online? There are a lot of them on the Internet!