How difficult is it for young Chinese to get married?

However, I now live in a small city, and it was good when I was studying, and then I returned to my hometown for various reasons, not to mention anything else, I think I just said that I was a person who went to a good school, and when I came back, I really wanted to cry without tears, and then I dealt with a few objects, I can be responsible for saying that there are a lot of wonderful, of course, now it is popular on the Internet to say that others are wonderful, and how they seem to be, so I want to say here that I am also a strange in a sense, but what I want to say is, from the post-80s generation, China began to have an only child, no matter how this thing came about, I think its meaning is relatively negative, whether it is population control or not, <>

There may be some good things, but I want to talk about the bad places, that is, the only child, which causes a lot of post-80s and post-90s, who are more self-conscious, will not care about people, and lack some important things of humanity, for example, when I watch movies, I found that foreign children have brothers and sisters, and I feel that when they take care of their brothers and sisters, it is a different emotion, and Chinese children, most of them in my city are only children, which can be said to be a lot of wonderful, because I think the shaping of a person is constantly completed in the process of growing upWhen a person needs you to take care of it, you will naturally have a sense of responsibility, and this feeling is a natural feeling, and warm, but because from 80 90 years ago, many people in China are only children, and from my observation, most people with brothers and sisters have a much better personality than only children, so these people with brothers and sisters are easier both in terms of work and love, when you are young, you are in love, but you are good-looking, you are handsome, you have temperament, but when you reach a certain age, you have to consider, marriage, I want to sayMarriage is not an easy task, it is easy for ordinary people, for rural factories, but I think love, marriage, has nothing to do with education, he is a kind of human thing, ordinary people's love marriage, plain, but stable, but many educated people, often more and more difficult.

Why, because many people who like to read are a little "clean", do you understand, that is, the common people say a lot of things, but in love this is definitely a weakness, so many great philosophers, thinkers, painters, this aspect is not good, so I want to say that love is a very ordinary thing, the more ordinary people are, the easier it is to be happy, I am not saying that we don't want to pursue, but to say, the closer the character to the public, the better, <>

In the relationship between two people, I found that there are too many compromises and run-ins, and everything that is not going to be, I can say responsibly that the love in the TV series is to look at it, and love in reality requires great wisdom, compromise, and many times it is not so happy.

I just got married, but in the process of getting married, I think that marriage, for Chinese young people, is actually easy when in love, that is, I and my daughter-in-law, we have not quarreled a few times when we are in love, but due to the difference in education, in fact, it also needs a lot of running-in, <>

I have always thought that reading is not a good errand for Chinese, look at the classmates around me, now the good ones are often quite mixed before, or study generally, but most of the good learning stay in school, in the current China is ordinary, when we go to school, everyone is only reading books, but now the society has changed, I think the current society, or character, or ability is more important, especially in small cities, China has a characteristic, that is, the rules are not very clear, So many times, those who abide by the rules often suffer, and those who do not follow the rules take advantage, this is my feeling, of course, the current society is different from before, small cities are different from big cities, but I think it would be a big mistake to put big cities in small cities, I think Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou and Shenzhen, and other small cities are completely different.

Nowadays, young people's concept of marriage is basically to get along, live if they can live, divorce if they can't live it, and they won't do what they will do if they live a makeshift life, and only when they are suitable can they really go on with each other.

Nowadays, young people's concept of marriage is not to disturb each other, to be financially independent, and to be independent in thought, so that two people will not feel pressured together.

Nowadays, young people's view of marriage is relatively selfish, and they rarely think about each other, so the divorce rate is very high now.

Nowadays, young people's concept of marriage is to be independent of each other, no one depends on anyone, and they all have an independent economy**.

Nowadays, young people's concept of marriage is independence, and they are no longer like the older generation, marrying a man just to dress and eat.

I think there are 4 reasons why it is getting harder and harder to get married.

The first major environmental impact.

Today's society is too impetuous and stressful, resulting in a very realistic and high divorce rate. Now the main body of marriage is the post-85 and post-90s, most of them are only children, or the family conditions are better, the parents have taken good care of their children since childhood, and they have been living with their parents since they were in their 30s, their parents cook well, their parents wash their clothes, and their parents clean up.

Second, it is difficult to find a marriage partner.

The best age for girls to marry is 23-26 years old, and boys are 25-29 years old. I am usually busy with work and overtime, and my life trajectory is only one line between the company and my home. The conditions of the objects introduced by relatives and friends are not as good as one, some WeChat chats have no follow-up, and some have no follow-up after meeting once or twice, and they are tired.

Third, the requirements for mate selection are getting higher and higher.

As I got older, I found it more and more difficult to find a partner, and I had to ask for more and more. Because many people will add the time cost of waiting to each other, then the requirements for the other party, age, height, appearance, education, graduation school, job, income, vehicle, housing, family situation, etc. are getting higher and higher. It is basically impossible to really find satisfaction, because they often have more options for those who meet these requirements.

Fourth, the increase in the cost of marriage.

Now that I am married, the house and car are already standard. The first question you ask is whether you have a house, not only the girl's request, but also the girl's parents, and now more and more boys are beginning to care about the economic conditions of the girl's family. I hope mine can help you.

Why is it so difficult for young people to get married now? Because it is difficult for everyone to skip these four stages when looking for a partner or blind date.

In the first stage, 80% of the men and women who meet for the first time are brushed off because of their education, appearance, and body height of less than 180cm (limited to men), and it is difficult to enter the next level.

In the second stage, I finally entered the state of looking at each other, and I made a few contacts, but because of whether I would chat humorously, whether I was a warm man, whether I was working in the same city, etc., I was put aside before I entered the state of love, and the development was too fast and I felt that the other party was a bit of a scumbag, and I felt that I was too honest when I was slow, and only a few people entered the next stage.

In the third stage, this time only entered the run-in period of love, generally the woman is required to accompany the man to buy and eat in various shopping malls on the weekend, come back to all kinds of friends, the economy almost can't bear it in advance, take the initiative to retreat, can withstand it, but also carefully wait, dare not slack off to say anything, if there is a little friction during the period, try to think that the other party changes to cater to themselves, and finally find that no one can cater to anyone, and finally feel that it is not in line with their own choice to escape or give up, So only a smaller number of people can get married.

At this time in the fourth stage, the two parties began to discuss marriage, and found that there were problems such as house, car, income, family economic situation of both parties, and future elderly support and children, etc., and there were parting ways.

The concept of marriage among contemporary young people, why do more and more young people choose not to get married? More and more young people choose to be single and choose to live alone, and this part of the young people is willing to have pets, or put their emotions on other things to find spiritual sustenance. There is also a young person who is willing to fall in love but does not get married, they enjoy the sweetness of falling in love and are unwilling to enter the palace of marriage.

So why is this phenomenon happening? I have the following three points.

Single addiction

One thing that people who are addicted to singleness have in common is that they have been able to complete their emotions and emotional cycles within themselves or within their existing circles. They don't need more emotional communication and are relatively closed in mind and life. Sometimes we talk to friends about the topic of love, because we are all satisfied with being single, so we subconsciously ask, "What's the point of being in love?"

Is it not fragrant to make money? "People who have been single for a long time will have their own hobbies, and there is a circle of friends to exchange hobbies with, and falling in love is not even as attractive for them as going out to eat with friends or exchanging things they love together.

Fear of marriage

Maybe it's the marketing on the Internet, or maybe it's the unhappiness of the love marriage of the people around them, love is sometimes like a string of cold values for them, which can be exchanged for equal value. They don't feel that love is worth enough to replace the smooth life they have today. Sometimes I see hot searches on Weibo, the murder of a certain wife, the jumping off a building due to domestic violence, the killing of a wife and the cheating of insurance, the sky-high bride price, and the high education fee.

These are all mountains that weigh on the shoulders of young people.

The love period is sweet, but once you come into contact with tea, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar tea, it will change a lot. Nowadays, the cost of marriage is very high, how to raise children after marriage and childbirth, and the high education cost of raising children are also very troublesome for young people.

Gender orientation

Nowadays, the Internet age is very developed, I believe everyone should know the words homosexuality and heterosexuality, in addition to transgender and asexual. Asexuals don't have any idea of being in love, and can even get disgusted by being too intimate. A type that is very similar to asexuality is called sexual unrequited love, which only feels like when the other person doesn't like you, and once the other person has the idea of liking you, you won't like the other person.

The above three only represent personal opinions, all in all, economic pressure, personal preferences, and living environment will have an impact on young people's view of love, which will lead to falling in love and not getting married, or simply being single and not in love. Young people with happy families and no material pressure will be more willing to fall in love and enter the palace of marriage.

First of all, modern young people do not have the idea of passing on their ancestry, and they will not force themselves to marry others in order to have children. Secondly, modern young people pay more attention to the quality of personal life, and if they can't find a suitable object, they would rather not get married than wronged themselves. In addition, young people are more motivated and do not pin their children on goals that they did not achieve as children, and they are more willing to spend their time and energy on success rather than letting their children learn things that they are not interested in.

There has been a change in ideology, and marriage no longer serves the purpose of succession。The reason why everyone in the older generation will enter married life is because in their concept, everyone has to have children and continue the incense. Modern young people receive the education of the new era, and without the feudal idea of patriarchy and inheritance, marriage is freed from the shackles of having children and becomes the goal pursued by those who love each other.

Love doesn't come so easily, and not everyone can find someone who is willing to spend their life with it, so fewer and fewer young people are getting married now.

Young people are increasingly knowing how to love themselves instead of wronging themselves to serve others。The marriage pattern that has been handed down since ancient times shows that in married life, women are responsible for almost the entire family's housework and children's education. Nowadays, women also work outside the home, but the distribution of household chores has not changed much.

Women are naturally reluctant to work tirelessly after work. For men, many people yearn for a life where one person is fed and the whole family is not hungry, and men are not willing to bear the cost of the family, so it is normal for fewer young people to get married.

Young people are more willing to invest in themselves。If you follow the previous direction of life, after the young man graduates.

In one or two years, they will enter the family and raise children, and there is little time and space to improve themselves. Young people are now more willing to invest money and energy in themselves, which is almost impossible to achieve once they have a family and children. Therefore, many young people want to fulfill their dreams first and ignore marriage for the time being.