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When you talk about maintaining relationships, you probably mean making new friends. From the perspective of a person who has come a little bit, there is no contradiction between studying in college and maintaining a relationship with what you said. Some people in the university did not absorb the knowledge in books, let alone make true friends; And some people not only study well in college, but also have a lot of friends worth making around them.
After entering the university, both study and life will be different from before, no longer there is a high-pressure state in high school every day, and the classmates in the class are not in the very close contact, in the university, uphold the open-minded and inclusive, students' self-control attitude, many universities are a semi-free-range state for students, so many students are addicted to various activities in the university, addicted to dealing with people, surfing the Internet, playing with mobile phones, hooking up with the opposite sex, paying attention to food and clothing, He completely gave up his identity as a student and abandoned his vocation to study. On the one hand, it is eroded by various ideas, what is the uselessness of reading, graduation still depends on ability, etc., the whole wants to spend time with a group of friends, neglects to study, and thinks that after graduation, this is all connections, this is all resources, but I don't know that after graduation, one is worse than the other, I didn't learn knowledge in school, and my friends are staggered, and it's too late to regret it when the time comes.
Studying hard is still an eternal truth in the university, this is no doubt, and the interaction of friends must be based on attracting each other, your friends and you should be in a state of mutual promotion, instead of disturbing you in every way when you are studying, telling you to play games and go out to play, if you don't even have this self-control, you should not be able to go through the road of learning. In the eyes of your friends, you should be positive, in your eyes, they should also be positive, you have similar hobbies, usually go to sports together, in your spare time, you can also have dinner together, this is a good way to maintain the relationship between friends, but the constant tone is that you should be positive, not just friends with alcohol and meat, he can understand you, you can also understand him. Of course, the main choice is to make a confidant, there are not many confidants, two or three are enough.
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In my opinion, there is no conflict between studying and interpersonal communication in college, college life is different from what we imagined in high school, not all time is spent on studying, and many people even start to exert their strength only at the most critical end of the semester, and usually spend very little time on studying. Of course, I don't advocate this approach, you should still arrange your time for studying, but even if you allocate part of your time to studying, it won't take up your whole day. In the rest of your leisure time, you can take care of your relationships.
In addition, the relationship is not a good maintenance, after all, it is very important, even if some people spend a lot of time on interpersonal communication, they do not get the corresponding feedback, because sometimes it is too much, but it will be annoying. Therefore, when maintaining popularity, you must take the initiative and be natural, don't let people see your false face at once, people must be sincere in their interactions, and people will not dare to communicate with you in depth if they lack a sense of truth.
If it's the maintenance of interpersonal communication in the college class, I think as long as you participate in more class activities, and have a good relationship with your neighbors, and go to the dormitory from time to time, it is a good way to promote feelings. For the interpersonal relationships in my own organizational activities, I recommend contacting and chatting more privately, because we usually don't work together for a long time, and we can only use private time. You can make efforts to do it in learning, but you still have to maintain a good degree in the maintenance of popularity, and don't overdo it.
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Balance, I don't really agree with your wording.
Are you worried that if you choose to study, it will affect your ability to make friends, or if you choose to make friends, it will affect your learning. Studying and making friends in college do have a little bit of mutual influence, but it doesn't have that much to do with each other, they are by no means opposites, don't worry.
First of all, I would like to stress that in college, learning is still the first priority. Because China's education system is like this, how do you prove that you have the strength? That's still to speak with grades.
But you have to know that university learning is not a headlong rush into the pile of books, just studying textbook knowledge may help you at the end of the semester, but you must improve yourself in all aspects of knowledge level in college. In addition to reading books, you also need to take the time to practice.
You can choose to participate in some club activities, which is not only a good opportunity to make friends, but also a good opportunity to learn. You can go to charity activities outside of school with friends in the club, learn to experience social life, and at the same time, you can learn some ways of life and broaden your horizons by making friends. So from this point of view, making friends and learning are not mutually exclusive.
And through all-round learning and improvement, you can also find like-minded partners who can learn together.
As long as you don't oppose the two sides and choose one side completely apart, then you will always find that in fact, the two are mutually reinforcing.
Studying can help you make friends, and making friends may help you learn. The help of learning is the same, it can help you find like-minded people, and maintaining good interpersonal relationships can help you have a healthy mindset to study better.
Making friends is not about being together every day, and popularity is not built by sacrificing most of your time to be with you, don't rush to meet more people, because there are not many people who really get along, people who appreciate you will always come, and sincere friends will never leave.
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1. Affirm others and respect others. This is an important point. Maintain the most basic respect for others, because everyone has a universal need for self-esteem, and only when self-esteem is highly satisfied, will you be happy and have a better attitude and impression of you.
It will help you to get to know each other more deeply.
2. Be sincere and enthusiastic, and be proactive. Let others feel your enthusiasm and sincerity, so that it is possible for others to trust you. Be amiable and don't let others and yourself feel constrained; It is necessary to develop a relaxed and happy personality, be optimistic and cheerful, and at the same time know how to grasp the opportunity, comfort the sad and disappointed, and congratulate the successful; Learn to be tolerant, turn enemies into friends, and treat others with enthusiasm; If you know how to make mistakes, you will change them, and admit them calmly, which will also show that you are honest and open-minded.
3. Know how to compare your heart with your heart and empathize. Feel the psychological feelings of others and improve your own attitude towards others.
4. When interacting with unfamiliar people, you can start with general greetings and then slowly go deeper. When communicating, the language should be clear, accurate, concise and vivid. Learn to listen and master the skills of conversation.
Good interpersonal relationships help to cultivate people's optimistic and cheerful character, which is conducive to the all-round development of college students' personalities. At the same time, interpersonal communication is also the starting point and the only way for personal socialization. We grow, develop and mature through interpersonal interactions, and in the process acquire the qualities of culture, survival skills, social knowledge, and social norms in order to qualify for social life.
This process necessarily requires interpersonal communication. Therefore, interpersonal communication is the basic condition for the healthy growth of our college students.
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Over-expectationSome students have high expectations for friendship, and they always expect everyone to be enthusiastic and satisfied with them, and everyone takes care of them. In fact, society is diverse, people's personalities, interests and hobbies are also very different, as the so-called things gather by like, there is no need to seek perfection and blame in the interaction, otherwise you will only disappoint yourself.
Self-isolationSome students have closed themselves off and refused to interact with others due to their failure to make friends in the past, and it is recommended that these students start by making friends with classmates who are easier to get close to, gradually expand the scope of communication, and finally integrate themselves into the group.
Unwarranted suspicionSome students always interact with others with the mentality of "the heart of defense is indispensable" because they cannot correctly understand interpersonal relationships. In fact, as long as you open your heart and actively accept friends, actively create a harmonious atmosphere, and communicate more with your classmates and friends, you will find that there are still good people and good things in society.
Jealousy psychologyJealousy often confuses the envied person, and at the same time, it also seriously distorts the heart of the jealous person, and hinders the thinking of both parties, and seriously hurts the feelings and even the person. Such examples are not uncommon.
In fact, treating people and things around you with a positive attitude will gradually get better even if it is very bad, and there are some universal principles in it.
College students tend to jump to conclusions about right and wrong when someone else makes a mistake or fails. And the "Gestalt Psychology**" believes that the attitude towards others and the correct way to deal with interpersonal relationships should be to stop judging for the time being, but to talk about specific views first. Doing so can prevent unnecessary friction and conflict with others, and you can also avoid unnecessary troubles and depression.
Pay attention to first impressions: A good first impression will make the other person willing to engage further and deepen friendships. Interpersonal relationships that start with mutual assistance are not only easy to establish a good first impression, but also shorten the psychological distance between people, so that good interpersonal relationships can be established quickly.
The use of positive autosuggestion and negative suggestion can only add to sorrow, do not attribute a mistake in a relationship to your own poor ability, let alone completely deny yourself; Don't take general criticism as an insult to your own personality. On the contrary, seeing it as an opportunity to learn, as a spur, and engaging in positive autosuggestion will help you get out of your failure as soon as possible.
In interpersonal communication, conflicts and contradictions are everywhere, but there are many ways to solve them, and conflicts and harmony are all in one thought. At present, today's college students must try to turn hostility into friendship.
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How do you manage interpersonal relationships in college? When we enter university, we may meet different people and be in different environments, which requires us to master the ability to behave in the world.
First: Be a good communicator and respect others. Respect is the basis of all communication, but also our necessary moral quality, in college life, we will spend a lot of time with roommates, roommates are very important partners in our university life, during this period of time we live together, because college roommates are likely to be from different provinces and regions, which determines that there are great differences in living habits and hobbies between each other, which is very normal, in the case of differences, we should learn to respect different habits, Listen to the opinions of others, we can't be selfish, everyone has different characteristics and hobbies, we should learn to accept and tolerate.
Second: improve their own quality, treat others sincerely, in college, it is very important to learn the knowledge of professional courses, but more importantly, it is more important to combine the improvement of their own ideology and morality, establish a correct world view and values outlook on life, and constantly improve their own quality, which is the foundation of all things, and the important thing is to treat people sincerely, treat everyone in life with a kind and friendly attitude, how to let yourself hurt your classmates, you must apologize in time, ask for the other party's forgiveness, and have the courage to admit mistakes, Correct yourself in a timely manner.
Third: we must learn to improve our emotional intelligence, learn to contribute, in the university we live in different collectives, we are not independent individuals, in the collective to make any decision must learn to respect different opinions, listen carefully to the voices of others, and we must not be selfish, must contribute their own strength in the collective, actively treat everything, have a collective consciousness, and have the courage to take responsibility.
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It is recommended to watch "The Weakness of Human Nature", it can improve your ability to deal with interpersonal relationships, of course, you have to do it, although interpersonal relationships are really important, we also have to cultivate emotional intelligence through it. But I think you have to figure out the purpose of going to college, because some people really don't have a good relationship, there is no need to waste your time for some indifferent people, you have to spend four years to become a better person, cherish what is good for you, even if it is slow to heat up, it is nothing, time will block a lot of insincere people for you.
And for good interpersonal relationships, first of all, you have to smile more to make people feel that you are very easy to get along with, and take the initiative to greet others or something.
Secondly, it is very important not to speak ill of others, maintain your neutral side, and do not take sides. It's good to keep a normal mind to everyone. And don't force yourself to do what you don't want to do, and directly refuse to show your tough side.
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