Ask for a joke, it doesn t matter what is original, the key is to be funny

The client bought a parrot at the brothel, and when he brought it home, the parrot said, "Oops, it's changed!" Then the parrot saw the daughter-in-law of the prostitute again, and said:

The bustard also changed, and then the client's daughter came out, and the parrot said: Miss has also been updated. At last he saw the son of the prostitute, and the parrot said; It's all new, why are the prostitutes all old customers?

There was a boy standing at the school gate, with tears streaming down his face, and an old gentleman came over: "Why are you?"

Crying, kid? ”

Just for rheumatism, damn rheumatism. Dad was going to beat me up again. ”

Poor little one, you already have rheumatism at such a young age? Daddy should not.

Hit you. The old gentleman stroked him with great sympathy.

I don't have rheumatism, but I didn't have time to write the word when I dictated in the morning. ”

Quit smoking] A man has heart disease, and the doctor advised him to quit smoking, and said that if he can't quit all at once, he can first change to smoking one every day after meals. A month later, he went to the doctor again, and after the doctor examined him, he found that he had another stomach problem, and he was puzzled and asked, "What is going on?"

"Maybe it's because I eat too many times a day in order to comply with your advice of a cigarette after a meal," he said.

Ornithologists walk into the patent registry. "I have successfully mated a carrier pigeon with a woodpecker," he said

He explained. "Not only do the mixed birds that come with mestif, but they also knock on the door when they arrive! ”

CG lovers.

It is said that the sudden shaking while sleeping is that the nervous system finds that you suddenly fall asleep and thinks you are dead, so it wants to see if you are dead.

Two mosquitoes eating in the toilet. The beetle mosquito said, when I have money, I will buy toilets in the whole city and eat them every day. The second mosquito said, "I want to buy a living person and eat fresh food every day."

I'll tell you a bad joke,!

It's scary to start with!

It's funny in the middle!

It's tragic in the end!

Once upon a time there was a ghost who farted.

He's dead!!

The geography teacher asked, does the river flow to **?

One student stood up and sang, "The river flows eastward."

The teacher ignored him.

Then he said, "How many stars are there in the sky?"

The classmate sang again: The stars in the sky are in the Beidou.

The teacher is angry: You get me out!

Student: Let's go.

The teacher is helpless: Are you sick?

Student: Try one more thing!

Student: When the road is uneven, I roar!

Teacher: Do you believe that I beat you up?

Student: Shoot when it's time to strike.

The teacher is angry: I will let you quit school!

Student: The wind and fire are in Jiuzhou...

One day, a fat middle-aged friend who doesn't usually surf the Internet asked: **What should you eat more?

I said, "Go!" As a result, after a month, when I saw this friend, I found that I was fatter, and the sides of my mouth were shining with oily light.

Puzzled, he asked: Did you go? The result?

My friend sighed: I'll go there once in a few days, it's delicious, but I don't feel the best effect!

I said: Hold on!

Later, I heard my friend's wife say: I don't know who paid for it, this old man went to the barbecue in the city every few days to eat, and he gained more than 30 pounds in a month!

I gasped and found a reason to get out and quickly called the friend.

It is recommended that you go to the Encyclopedia of Troubles or Cat Pounce to see it!

The encyclopedia of troubles is all real people and real things.

It's hilarious.

There is a family, very rich. One day, my son was going to school, and my mother called my son, don't say that our family is rich when we go out, and my son will keep it in mind.

Heart. In Chinese class, the teacher asked the students to write an essay about their family. The son wrote: My family is very poor. I am poor, my mother is poor, my father is poor, my servants are poor, the gardener is poor, the driver is poor, the nanny is poor...

In a family, the child's math has always been bad, and his parents changed many schools for him, and finally, the parents and their children changed to a church elementary school, and this child's math was among the best. The parents were also very strange, so they asked, "Is the teacher teaching well?"

The child said, "No." The parents asked again

Is the textbook different? The child said, "No."

Parents asked, "What's that?" The child said

As soon as I entered the classroom, I knew that math was very important, because as soon as I walked in the door, I saw a person pinned to the plus sign.

Come back 4 times, my aunt will have winter vacation, oh yes.

Update jokes every day, not necessarily famous Weibo, but be funny!!

Datou bought a new washing machine at Erya's request, and Erya said: "Datou, you bought the washing machine with money, and the ownership of the washing machine belongs to you or mine?" ”

The big head was stunned, and he didn't know what to say.

Hurry up! Does the washing machine belong to you or mine? Er Ya asked.

It's mine. "The big head was sweating on his forehead.

Well," Erya nodded, "I don't dare to touch your things, and only you will have the right to use the washing machine in the future." ”

The big head was anxious: "No, no, no, I'll be generous, the washing machine belongs to you, okay?" ”

Do you want to transfer ownership of your washing machine for free? ”

Yeah. "Well, I can't be too greedy, we have to divide the power equally: I have the ownership of the washing machine, and you have the right to use the washing machine. ”

Do you know what fate is and the origin of fate?

After reading these jokes I summarized, I believe you will definitely laugh. Have fun! 1:

Because I was so crazy about dancing, I dreamed about it at night, and in the morning my mother pulled me out of bed and suddenly shouted, "It's you!" I'm gone!

2: On the way to school, I saw the old people playing Tai Chi, and thought: The newcomer is the newcomer and still plays 72.

3: When I arrived at school, I saw mm in a skirt in my class, and said, "Don't jump 54, don't seduce me with your pants, and I was slapped in the face." 4：

In math class, the teacher asked me to give the answer to the question. 564 564 64 564+64" was punished by the teacher. ：

When I did recess exercises, I was different from my classmates, and the teacher asked why, and I said, "Free dance steps are casually danced, they are all the same, it must be a plug-in, a bs plug-in." ” 5：

Because I was dancing too late in the evening, I was slow to prepare for physical education class, and the teacher asked, "Why is Lao slower than others?" I'm card.

6: In a trance, I accidentally walked to someone else's classroom and was kicked out by the teacher. "Damn, t me?

Open room stepping! ”7：.On the way home from school, I saw people gathered together.

I thought, "I'm playing with the group, I haven't memorized the dance steps yet." ” 8：

When I got home, I asked my mother for the second day's pocket money, and my mother gave her 20 yuan. I said, "20g?

How can it be enough, you can't buy the most basic hair, at least 7000. "As a result, the 20 pieces were gone. 1. Why do Haier brothers only wear pants?

Because they don't have Q coins! 2. Why is China the most mysterious country in the world? Because **** is who, and the prime minister is when

3. One monk carries water to drink, two monks carry water to drink, three monks have no water to drink, four monks fight landlords, and five monks can go to pretend to be babies. 4. Listen to your words, and the saint warrior reads. 5. What are you unhappy about?

Say it and make everyone happy. 6, when is the bright moon, look up by yourself 7, women are made of water, men are made of mud, Li Junji and Li Yuchun are made of cement. 8, the praying mantis catches the cicada, Nuwa catches the sky, the dead sheep catches the prison, and the four famous catches 9, the 14 books written by Jin Yong can be connected into a couplet:

Feixue shoots white deer in the sky, and the smiling book god leans on the blue duck" The 7 books written by Rowling can also be connected into one sentence: "Hahahaha, hahahaha" 10, the one with tattoos is not necessarily a hooligan, he may be Yue Fei.

1. The school suddenly strictly grasped love, and the dean called us to the auditorium and told us the reason for the treatment: "A few days ago, I patrolled at night and caught a couple in the garden, do you know what they are doing? Some of the students below said they were flirting, and some were kissing.

The dean said, "Neither, I'll tell you!" Your senior sister took two apples, a pair of red candles, and a pillar of incense in the small pavilion in the middle of the night, and was worshipping heaven and earth!

Scared the hell out of me! ”

2. At night, my three-and-a-half-year-old son was lying between me and my wife and preparing to sleep. The son said, "Mommy sleeps with me in her arms!" I quipped him, "Mommy is holding you, so what about Dad?" The son immediately turned around and said seriously: "You go to your mother!" ”

3. I remember that after the college entrance examination that year, I knew that I didn't do well in the exam, so I told my father truthfully that the exam results were not satisfactory and so on. My father said helplessly, "If it doesn't work, just repeat it."

At this time, the grandfather who was sitting on the side said angrily: "If you can't pass the test, you can't pass the test, what kind of poison do you take?!" ”

4, a certain gentleman sang rock and roll hoarsely in the dormitory: "I want to change, I want to change..."A certain gentleman, who was reading a book, suddenly looked up and asked, "Isn't the toilet empty?" ”

5. One day, Xiao Ming's father took Xiao Ming to dinner. When I arrived at the restaurant, Xiao Ming's father said to the waiter: fried chicken, stewed fish, stewed mushroom soup, pork knuckle, five-spice meatballs...Don't do any of the above, just come to two nests.

Waiter and Xiao Ming: Your sister. 6. "110?"

Come on! Something happened! Hello, what is your emergency?

Both girls are going to have a relationship with me, and it's time to fight! That's ......It's ......It's ......"Hurry up! The ugly one is going to win!!

7. In Chinese class, the teacher asked, "Measure words sometimes can't be omitted casually, which student can give an example?" Xiaoqiang immediately replied: "For example, 'he gave me a gun', if the measure word 'branch' is omitted, then my fate will be different!" ”

8. There was an old farmer hoeing in the field, and a crow flew over and pulled shit and fell on the old farmer's face, and the old farmer raised his head and scolded: "Cao your mother! I don't know how to wear a pair of pants when I go out! The raven said, "Cao! You're and you're wearing pants.

17. Son: "Dad, there's an old uncle outside who is very pitiful, and he keeps screaming outside, so Dad, can you give me two yuan?" I want to give it to him.

Dad: "Good boy, you will pity the old man since you were a child, you deserve praise, give you two dollars." "Daddy:

Oh, by the way, what's that old uncle's name? Son: "Ice cream, 2 yuan a piece!"

Come on! ”

Once upon a time there was a ghost who farted and died.