Mental disorder, I always have to look at the dark side of things

I suggest you take a look at the book "The Secret". The fundamental problem should still be psychological.

Some of the same feelings, it's a lack of security in the heart, so I will always be entangled in the dark side, no matter what, I have to make myself happy first, don't torture myself, maybe tolerate others, that is, a relief for myself.

It will be good to talk to a psychological counselor, the so-called authorities are confused and bystanders are clear.

Personally, I think you may have compulsive tendencies. Perfectionism, not focusing on reality. You know that everything is dichotomy, but it is only limited to the conscious, and the subconscious does not fully agree with it, and there is still a kind of luck mentality, thinking that there may still be.

Perhaps this kind of thinking may affect socialization. At the same time, you may be a bit introverted.

Another point, don't impose rules on yourself, such as "what should be done", which will suppress emotions, psychological problems are mainly due to the repression of emotions that should be released, sometimes you can't feel it, and you need a doctor to help tap the subconscious.

I'm going to put it bluntly, your focus is on perfecting yourself, you're too much on perfection, you're trying to keep your heart pure, "evil" is a threat to you, and not accepting it is a defensive act, protecting your heart, creating a feeling of inner purity, maybe it's just an illusion, there's no perfection.

Probably your values are implanted in society, such as Taoism's lack of selfishness and low desires, everyone advocates it, if you abide by it yourself and do it according to other people's views, you will be praised by others; And not personally formulated for yourself through experience.

Things are not originally good or bad, such as on Earth tens of millions of years ago. The so-called good or bad is determined by people relative to themselves, and the value of things is different under different conditions.

It is necessary to look at problems realistically, be flexible, and the good and bad of things are relative.

Speak directly, and if there is a mistake, you will be in trouble.

You can listen to some subconscious relaxation**, and if the problem affects your normal life, go for counseling.

That's because you haven't learned to distinguish between good and evil, and you ask yourself what is good and what is evil in your eyes. There is a saying that absolute freedom is no freedom.

This has nothing to do with your upbringing, according to normal theory, the psychology of children from this family is relatively normal. And obviously, you have a slight psychological problem.

It takes a process to solve this phenomenon, and you try to do it. First of all, you are just an ordinary person, you have no special excellence factor than others, and there are many people like you in today's China, let alone in the Beijing-Tianjin area. Secondly, people in this world are absolutely equal in personality, others do not need to be good to you, since others are good to you, you must know how to be grateful, don't care whether there are other psychology, from your point of view, you must first know how to be grateful, know how to reciprocate.

Again, it has nothing to do with you whether others are good or not, your parents have a good relationship, and it is their business whether they love each other or not, and it will not affect your life anymore. Finally, I want to tell you that you are already an independent individual in this world, and no one should do anything for you, because life is your own, and you have to be responsible for yourself. Good luck getting back to normal soon.

In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with this ability, and I surmise that your family should be very happy, and you can grow up healthy, because of such an environment, you have a certain rebellious mentality (different from the kind of adolescence), which is to magnify the dark side of human nature infinitely, and people are like this, and you can always see the dark side that you can't see.

Notice what you said, You pursue the perfect pure good, and agree with this sentence, after all, I am still young, and I believe that in this world, there is always more good than evil, and there is nothing wrong with this pursuit, but you should learn how to distinguish your inner thoughts from real life, and we can all live a realistic life with an idealistic mentality.

It's up to you whether the obstacle exists or not, and you care too much about it, and it makes you feel out of place, but I don't think it's necessary, you don't need to worry too much, and you're good about it.

It seems that you have a depression complex! Changing your lifestyle to live alone may help you. People need to communicate, and in the exchange, they can understand the meaning of loving and being loved, and experience the joy of life!