Have you become the kind of person you used to hate?

We are all afraid that we will become the person we hated the most when we were young, but the cruel social reality forces us to grow up, let us change, let us become strangers to ourselves, which is also very helpless, and I will briefly talk about what kind of person I am now, whether I have a hateful face, and let myself feel disgusted:

FirstEveryone has their own ideal way of life, they all want to be the person they want to become, they all want to move forward according to their own goals, and reach the other side of their ideals, but the reality is that after all, the reality must be faced by themselves, for example, the leader at work allows you to receive customers, in order to achieve cooperation to complete their own work, you are indispensable to flattery on the wine table, which is also a helpless thing, after all, the wine table is easy to do; You would not have been willing to do this when you were young, but for the sake of your livelihood and salary, you can only choose to do so;

SecondThe process of human growth and socialization is the process of personal change, each stage of life will have its own different ideas and considerations, we have no pressure to support our family when we are students, once we graduate and start working, we have to consider getting married, we have to consider the house and car tickets, these practical problems are unavoidable, I will begin to doubt whether I have become too worldly, I will begin to doubt life, because the speed of my struggle to earn money can never catch up with the speed of housing prices, I couldn't settle down after working hard in the big city for half my life, so I could only choose to return to my hometown to continue my life;

In general, I have doubted my own changes, but I will not let myself become the kind of person who really let me hate it, because to be a man, we must grasp a degree, don't go too far, we need to be in awe in our hearts, and just go with the flow when we can't avoid it, but we must be cautious in front of the principles that should be adhered to, don't easily touch our bottom line, and we can't change our own life at all!

In May, the morning sun shines through the dim cracks in the room and spreads on the face.

A tear crossed the pillow. I opened my eyes slowly, the sun was warm but not dazzling, I was a crying girl, I hadn't worked for a year.

I'm a man who can't hold a grain of sand in my eyes, and I've been a man of nothing in the year. I guess strangers in front of the screen will also complain about me, why don't you go out to work, yes, I'm just lazy.

But I also seem to be sick, and now I am sick.

A year ago at this time, I was praying like heaven that I would have a boyfriend. Now you really can't just pray to the heavens, because at the same time you gain, you also lose.

Soon after that, I actually had a boyfriend. In order not to pay rent, I lived with him in his newly purchased house. This was the beginning of all my new life, and the beginning of my sickness.

I used to be a laughing girl, but for the past six months I've been in tears almost all day, and I may be really sick, and everyone else is blaming me. No one stood beside me with any exception.

The beginning of love is beautiful, and every day is fresh. Something you've never touched is really curious, sweet every day, enjoying that ambiguous feeling.

But gradually everything changed.

During the day, there is only empty air and me in the whole house, and the pop-up messages repeated every day in the WeChat dialog box, are you up? Have you eaten? I'm off work, what do I eat at night? It's just a little time in the evening, and we have no topic.

That's how I woke up every day, ate takeout, stared out the window by myself, and occasionally played games. I have to say that when I was in a dull mood, the teammates I met were also pig teammates, and they were either hang-up or too vegetable.

Another hobby is text. Since graduation, I haven't kept a diary, and I will write down my broken thoughts on my mobile phone.

Everyone grows all the time, and so do I.

experienced the betrayal of the most trusted friend and the affection of relatives. In the past, I always felt that it didn't matter if I told someone I trusted that I had a good game, but it didn't matter, and I betrayed me with all the trust of the rest of the room.

At that moment, I stood in the cold wind for a long time, because the wind was too dazzling, and the taste was too disgusting.

Not long ago, I listened to "There is No Real Empathy in the World", and I cried when I saw the people who sang, and I cried too, I'm a crybaby, it's not that we're still young, it's that everyone in this world is an independent individual, an independent mind, so I won't empathize.

But when we grow older, we won't be so sad anymore, because we learn to be strong and learn to love ourselves.

When I was in college, I was crazy about a young writer, I would go to a book signing, I would buy all his books, and I would wait every day to update Weibo and vote for all kinds of votes. That's because his words gave me strength at that time, and as I grew up and found that those didn't satisfy me, I hated it.

One day, I became the kind of person I ever hated the most.

Holding the mobile phone to swipe the circle of friends, swiping more than a dozen times, until several times in a row could not brush the new friend status, then reluctantly put down the mobile phone, and a few minutes later picked up the mobile phone again, repeating the previous action. I don't know when my life began, like a pool of stagnant water...

When I went to college twelve years ago, including a few years after graduating from college, there were no smartphones at that time, a notebook was enough, I usually watched movies on the Internet, took the bus with my girlfriend for more than an hour to go shopping in my spare time, and occasionally circled the playground with my girlfriend at night, talking about each other's thoughts, that was a very comfortable life.

In addition to these, my favorite thing at that time was to write things, just like Weibo now, the circle of friends, at that time, I liked to write some mood essays in the QQ space, year after year, good mood, bad mood, all written into electronic logs, every time I look at it, I can feel the mood at that time.

However, I don't know when I started to write, I didn't like to write, I didn't like to record the beauty of life, and I didn't like to write down my feelings when I was hurt.

It may be when it changes from a blog to a microblog, or it may be when it becomes a circle of friends from a QQ log, when the feelings that can be expressed need to be counted in terms of words. When life begins to stay the same, when I stop looking for something new, when my heart stops throbbing, I feel like my spirit is starting to grow old....

I read an article before, which roughly means: the sign of aging is not physical aging and aging, but that you dare not let yourself be in an unfamiliar environment anymore, and are afraid of starting a new life in an unfamiliar environment.

Lose the urge to take risks and the courage to try new things, and by this time you have already begun to grow old.

And I, it seems, have lived and worked in a city and a unit for eight years, and my clothes have become more and more dignified, the colors have become more and more dull, and my life has become more and more monotonous. More and more conformist, forward-looking, cautious...

When I first came to this city eight years ago, when I entered this unit, I saw that the life of my brothers and sisters was really boring, and I felt that this city was cold and lifeless. My brothers and sisters always said to me, "It's so good to be young when you look at you!" ”

At that time, I never thought that one day I would say this to the new post-90s children in the unit.

I don't know who said it, but one day you'll become the kind of person you used to hate.

I didn't believe it before.

I don't know when I started to become the kind of person I used to hate...