After getting married, should I tell my mother about the grievances in my in law s house?

Updated on society 2024-06-24
20 answers
  1. Anonymous users2024-02-12

    If it were me, I wouldn't tell my mother's family, because I felt that I had to deal with my own affairs, and I couldn't let my parents worry about it. There is a more important reason that parents may not understand the truth of some things, and will blindly criticize their children, or feel that their daughters have been wronged, and go to their in-laws' house to ask for explanations, which will even lead to greater conflicts. If they reconcile again in the future, the parents of both sides will be embarrassed when they meet, and they will have a pimple in their hearts.

    Unless it gets to the point of divorce, it won't alarm the parents. Married people are adults, and they can whisper to their close friends or siblings without letting their parents know. Parents can no longer afford to worry about their children's affairs when they are older.

    I will adjust my mentality by myself, find a way to solve it, and put aside the things that can't be solved, and the sky won't fall.

    Generally speaking, if you are wronged in your in-law's house and turn around to tell your mother's family, there can only be two results: your parents love you very much, and you have been wronged after you got married, they must strive to help you out of this breath on the basis of reason, at this time, you have to think about this relationship, whether to continue, a father said to his daughter: "If you quarrel with your husband in the future, don't tell me, because you will forgive him, and I won't!"

    That's true.

    If your mother's family doesn't help, she can't help you. Although it is now the 21st century, as far as I know, it is not uncommon for families to favor sons over daughters in life, and some girls are in the family of origin.

    The status is not high, and after getting married, he is even more regarded as an outsider. If your parents can't help you with anything, at most comfort you a few words, then it's better not to tell you, at least it won't be more chilling.

    You may reconcile after a while, but your parents will always remember that he and his family hurt you, and if you don't say anything about him on the surface, you will have an opinion in your heart. If you tell your parents this often, their opinions will become more and more important to your spouse, and it will not be a good thing for the development of the relationship between the two of you. Tell your parents that they feel bad too.

    It is said that in a relationship, the more people involved, the easier it is to fail, whether it is girlfriends or family members, try to say as little as possible. Unless you feel that there is no hope in this relationship and you are in great pain, you can complain to friends and family at this time and seek spiritual strength. You must be assertive in your relationship, if you have suffered in your mother-in-law's house, you have to analyze whether the matter can be solved, whether it will be like this for a long time, whether your husband is reliable or not, if there is no solution, persuade to divide.

  2. Anonymous users2024-02-11

    No, it will make your mother very worried about you, and it will make the conflict between the two families even more serious.

  3. Anonymous users2024-02-10

    Of course, you shouldn't tell your mother about your grievances at your mother-in-law's house, because even if you say it, your mother won't be able to solve it for you, and it will make your mother feel uncomfortable with you, so it's not worth it.

  4. Anonymous users2024-02-09

    It's best not to tell your mom just yet. Try to solve the problem yourself first and don't worry your parents too much. Then let my husband come forward more, and after communicating with my husband, if I can't solve the problem, I will talk to my mother.

  5. Anonymous users2024-02-08

    Of course not, in fact, the grievances in the in-law's family should not be told to the mother, and the mother should be less worried.

  6. Anonymous users2024-02-07

    I think there are some things that can be said, every time I quarrel with my husband, he can't help it, my husband will send me home, my mother doesn't understand what happened, so she always says it's my problem, in fact, she doesn't know that it's me who has been wronged

  7. Anonymous users2024-02-06

    Summary. Hello dear.

    The advice given to you by the teacher is:

    Try not to tell your mother about the grievances you suffered at your in-laws' house.

    After getting married, should I tell my mother about the grievances in my in-law's house?

    Hello dear, the advice given to you by the teacher is: Try not to tell your mother about the grievances you suffered at your in-laws' house.

    You told your mother that she would be in a bad mood in the future. And it will make your mother have a bad opinion of your rent or your in-laws. In the future, when your mother sees your in-laws, her face will be unsightly, and she will always think about the grievances you talked about, which will cause them to feel uncomfortable in their hearts.

    If you have been wronged in your in-laws' house. You can come and ask, you tell us these consultants. The first counselor will keep your matter confidential, and will give you comfort analysis and give reasonable advice.

    The 2nd. You tell the counselor that the counselor will not treat your story as a joke or as an after-dinner topic. Tell the counselor that it is very safe and will not cause unnecessary trouble.

    If you tell your girlfriend about your grievances, and your girlfriend has another girlfriend, she will tell another girlfriend, so that your grievances will be passed on to the end, and your grievances will be known to many people, and maybe in the end they will be passed back to your mother-in-law's family, and the mother-in-law's family will have a new view of you after hearing it, and there will be more and more contradictions between you and the elderly.

    Therefore, the safest thing to do is to ask your grievances and quarrel again, and you will let go of it after you talk to the counselor, and the sedan chair will pass after you finish speaking, which is the safest.

  8. Anonymous users2024-02-05

    I think this matter is quite normal, and most of the daughters-in-law will encounter it, and everyone will have their own way of dealing with it. Things have really happened, many things and many words may be pierced in the heart and linger, whenever I think of it, it hurts like a wound is torn, but what about this, the things that have been in the past can't be changed, and it is impossible for my husband to give up the parents who gave birth to him and raised him to choose you, so I can only reconcile with myself and want to open up, but don't let others bully too much, the more vulnerable you are, the more hopeful others will be.

    First, understand the empathy, in fact, many of the wrongs we think can be easily resolved, to understand my own situation, mother-in-law is not a mother, husband's home is not your home for the time being, if you live together, mother-in-law will only care for and protect and even favor my own children. That's normal, if you have a child. It's good that they don't point fingers at you, don't think they're like your own family.

    Be good to you, you have to repay her, don't take it for granted. They won't like you like what their parents want them to do. Lower your mentality, you won't cry a lot of things wronged, it's important that you and your husband really love each other, and he cares about you.

    Second, it is the kind of obvious bullying, such as asking you to be what you want, and then disrespecting your parents, making you feel that it is a matter of the standard, and directly tell your husband that you are very wronged, if your husband can't help, whoever makes you wronged you will say it to your face, don't be afraid to tear your face. You say yes in your usual tone, at least let them know that you're not happy. It's not fair to you.

    Don't be silent and get angry yourself. You must work hard to get your husband to stand on your side, because many mothers-in-law will be afraid of their daughter-in-law for the sake of their son. Don't be afraid.

    If you are not happy, you can go back to your parents' house for a few days. No big deal.

    A family, there will be contradictions when there are more people, we are married, in fact, we are married to this family, a lot of wrongs are also the way we must go, learn to be strong myself, learn to deal with it, gradually, your wrongs will not be there, so that I can better integrate into this family is also necessary.

  9. Anonymous users2024-02-04

    You should show your strong side, and you can also discuss with your husband, and you can live separately from your mother-in-law, which can avoid a lot of conflicts.

  10. Anonymous users2024-02-03

    You should resist, because you are the daughter-in-law who married in the past, and you are not going to be bullied, and if you are bullied, you will quarrel with her.

  11. Anonymous users2024-02-02

    Talk to your husband and talk to your mother-in-law about things, so that you feel better.

  12. Anonymous users2024-02-01

    As someone who has lived with my mother-in-law since I got married and will continue to live there, I would like to give you a little advice for your reference.

    First, grasp the big and let go of the small. What do you need most right now? As long as the most urgent needs are met, nothing else matters.

    I don't care about anything other than taking care of the children, I can eat takeout or white water noodles, I don't want to do housework and ask for a nanny, if I don't ask for a nanny, it's messy, I don't care at all. )

    I've really seen this kind of person who doesn't go directly, and I can't even see my mother-in-law's face. Of course, it was indeed the mother-in-law who did something wrong at the beginning and broke the heart of other daughters-in-law.

    However, in this case, the husband must first be an open-minded man, and he can't be foolish, thinking that since the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not easy to get along with, it is good not to get along.

    Your mother can do her filial piety by herself, and she doesn't need her daughter-in-law to do it for her. If you meet a man who thinks like this, you won't go if you don't go, as long as you take care of your little family with your husband.

    In real life, I met a man who was an only child with his daughter-in-law, and his daughter-in-law's parents worked well and had a very good family background.

    Before the woman got married, she thought that marriage was that the princess and the prince lived happily together, and only after they got married did they find out that it was not the man who was married, but a large family behind the man.

    In marriage, dealing with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a headache for all women, and if it is not handled well, it will make you feel cold and wronged. In front of her in-laws, women must be clear about their roles, and they must know their position, and they cannot be without principles and bottom lines.

    If a woman gives up her career and has no income, her in-laws will think that women are relying on men to support them, and they will naturally feel inferior, and their attitude towards women will definitely change, and they may even become very bad. Women will look very helpless at this time, after all, everyone else is a family and a heart.

    The reciprocal marriage relationship is stable, and there is no sense of superiority to make the difference in the middle of love.

    Reciprocity is spiritual reciprocity, reciprocity of three views, evenly matched, as the old saying goes, "not a family, not a family." ”

    Marriage also has to have a certain relationship with the original families of both parties, if you climb high, you may be wronged in your in-law's family, and if you are low, your husband may be wronged in your family. If you don't say anything about your grievances, this is burying mines for yourself.

  13. Anonymous users2024-01-31

    After getting married, you always feel wronged, you must confide in your husband, let him understand you, if it really can't work, you can discuss it with your parents.

  14. Anonymous users2024-01-30

    It depends on what kind of grievance it is, if it is your mother-in-law who bullies you, I think you can return it or move out of your mother-in-law's house directly.

  15. Anonymous users2024-01-29

    You can explain your grievances to your husband. Your husband will definitely comfort you, or you can take another way to explain it to your parents, but it may be a big problem.

  16. Anonymous users2024-01-28

    I think you should adjust your mentality, marry a chicken with a chicken, marry a dog with a dog, and go to their house, you should adapt to their family's life.

  17. Anonymous users2024-01-27

    I think you should have a good talk with your husband, tell him what you think, and see what your husband's attitude is.

  18. Anonymous users2024-01-26

    If there is a contradiction, it needs to be resolved in a timely manner, do not tell the contradiction to the mother's family, otherwise your parents will also worry, the first thing is to solve the contradiction with your parents-in-law, communicate more, and communicate more, which will be more conducive to the feelings of the family.

  19. Anonymous users2024-01-25

    I don't think I need to tell my mother's family, I'm married, I should handle things by myself, don't let my mother's family worry.

  20. Anonymous users2024-01-24

    If the girl is not doing well at her in-law's house, she can complain to her mother. The people who love their children the most in the world must be their biological parents and brothers and sisters, if you encounter problems, you must find their help in time, after all, you are also a weak woman, alone in the in-law's house is likely to suffer great grievances, everyone gets married to make the rest of their lives happy, if you feel unhappy, then don't live like this. <>

    1. You can complain to your mother.

    Although some people always say that the daughter who marries out spills out of the water, but the daughter has a blood relationship with her biological parents after all, if you don't have a good time in your in-law's house, don't always endure it again and again, it will only let the other party get an inch, don't let yourself look extraordinarily cowardly, every girl before getting married, is the treasure of the palm of her parents' hands, is the pearl of the family, but the result is that a family has suffered such treatment, so everyone has to learn to resist after the in-law's family is not good, Once I feel that I am too wronged, I can go back to my parents' house to talk to my parents more, communicate and communicate, if this relationship can be saved, then everyone will talk to their husbands, what is there to discuss, but if the other party is obsessed and still feels that life is not satisfactory, then it is completely okay to leave. <>

    2. Release your anxiety.

    After all, everyone in the mother-in-law's family has not been with everyone for a long time, in addition to their husbands, mother-in-law and father-in-law have not had much contact with everyone, so it is easy to have some contradictions, since they are not happy, they can't put all the negative emotions in their hearts, otherwise they are easy to be depressed, so for the sake of their own mental health, they must communicate more with their mothers. <>

    III. Concluding remarks.

    The husband is to make his life no longer lonely, and the in-laws also formed a new family after getting married, although the girl and the mother-in-law are not related by blood, but live under the same roof, they should be considerate of each other. The mother-in-law is unreasonable, and the girl can also move out with her husband.

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