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As a 26-year-old daughter-in-law, I bought more things for my in-laws' family during the Chinese New Year. In addition to chickens, ducks, fish, vegetables and fruits and other New Year's goods, it is also necessary to add various clothes and daily necessities for the elderly in a timely and appropriate manner. Because the old man has only one son by his side, and the old man is also older, so, usually, they don't have to worry about almost anything, whether it is rice, flour, grain and oil, or needles and threads, a pair of couplets, and a pair of slippers, I do it myself, because I don't want them to worry about being tired anymore.
<>Of course, in addition to shopping, the main thing is - work! Work! Work! Washing sofa covers, bed sheets, tidying up the kitchen, bathroom, cooking, tidying up the house, a lot of work, I want to work, every day.
My in-laws also love me very much, and they often tell me not to worry too much about them and to take care of myself in my own life. However, I always don't want to bear it, I don't want them to run east and west, bumpy and toiling, the elderly are slow to react, their vision is not good, and I am afraid that they will go out and fall and bump into it. Because they all have pensions, money for the elderly, so, they will give it to me.
However, many times, as long as it is within my financial means, I don't want it. I think that as a junior, spending money on the elderly, or working hard, is also a way to be filial to them, and it should be. It seems that he has suffered a loss, but in fact, he is within his ability, and he is very gratified.
Over the years, they have treated me as a daughter, and I have treated them like my own parents.
Married for 26 years, I was with my mother-in-law during the New Year, before I came to work in the county, I went back to live on vacation, and I went to the town to buy food with my mother-in-law, sometimes my mother-in-law paid, sometimes I paid. Before the New Year, I went to the city with my husband to buy some clothes for the elderly on both sides.
Later, when I came to work in the county seat, I washed and cleaned up my house first and prepared some daily necessities after the holidays. Approaching the end of the New Year, buy some rare dishes for my mother-in-law that cannot be bought in the town: beef, chicken, duck, etc., and must stay at home for a few days during the New Year to accompany the elderly.
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If you spend the Spring Festival at your mother-in-law's house in the Northeast, you must buy a set of clothes for your mother-in-law and a set of cosmetics. Because there is indeed this custom in the Northeast, the juniors should buy some gifts for the elders at the elders' houses. Otherwise, you will be unhappy.
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First of all, we must prepare wine, because we all know that Northeast people are very good at drinking, and then we can prepare a little local product from our hometown, such as bacon sausages and the like, because these things are rare in other places.
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Let's discuss it with two people, family harmony is the most important thing!
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Personally, I think that many old concepts think that you have to go to your in-laws' house for the New Year. The father-in-law and mother-in-law, who have only one child at home, hope that the child can return to their own home for the New Year. So, how should this situation be handled?
1. Take family harmony as the basic principle, discuss and communicate in advance, and don't wait until the Chinese New Year to discuss. If both parents agree, they can take turns to celebrate the New Year: go to the mother-in-law's house this year, and go to the mother-in-law's house next year. This is more reasonable, and generally both sides will not object because of this.
It is also a good way to take your in-laws and father-in-law and mother-in-law to your home for the New Year, so that the family of three can be reunited together.
Each goes back to each house to find his mother, and some people choose this, but this plan is the least recommended. Why? After getting married, it is a family, as a newlywed, it is impossible to separate on such a big festival no matter what, even if the parents of both parties are scumbags, they will not want their children to be separated during the holiday.
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This is a more tangled problem, the family can discuss the mother-in-law's family once a year, and this year we will go to the mother's house for the New Year.
Every year, many people are struggling with whether to go to their in-laws' house for the New Year or to their parents' house for the New Year. When I go to my mother-in-law's house for the New Year, my husband must be happy, but my wife is not high-minded. went to her mother's house for the New Year, the daughter-in-law was happy, but the husband was reluctant to go.
The husband finds various reasons, just to go back to his parents' house for a few days, such as the child is not adaptable, the weather is too cold, we are fine, the child can't stand it; For example, if you have been in your mother's house for a long time, you don't want to see people; Another example is that there is no place to play at my mother's house, how good it is to be at home, full of food and drink, where to go, all kinds of reasons, too many.
I usually chat with friends, and I hear my friends talk about the same husband, but there are also husbands who are willing to go to their parents' house for the New Year. It's okay to go for a day or two, and I spent the whole year at my mother's house, and I don't agree to anything.
In fact, sometimes I am also struggling, whether to go to my parents' house for the New Year, my hometown is indeed colder than the city, and the city is also cold, but there is heating in the house, and the hometown can only wear a thick cotton jacket. And as soon as we went back, my mother had to cook food and drink for us, and I was busy with the work, but my mother didn't let me, saying that I had been busy for a year, and I would come back for a few days to rest during the New Year. We'll go back for a few days, my mom will have to work for a few days, and if we don't go back, it's much easier for them.
The married daughter's heart was split into two petals, one in her own small family and the other in her parents. Chinese people have a reunion for the New Year, go to their mother-in-law's house for the New Year, worry about their parents, go to their mother's house for the New Year, and think about the coldness of their mother-in-law's house. However, in the era of only children, one child per family, this point of view is out of place, and children are not necessarily in the same city as both parents, maybe they can only go to one family during the Spring Festival, and they take turns to accompany their parents for the New Year every year, which I think is very reasonable.
As the parents get older and the distance between them and their children is far away, in recent years, it has become popular for the three families to celebrate the New Year together, that is, the parents of both sides go to the city of their children, and then the three families spend a filial piety reunion year together, which is a good solution to the problem that the child has been on the road for a holiday.
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Hello! Dear, it's the same for anyone to spend the New Year. The following four methods are suggested.
1.This year, I will go to my mother-in-law's house for the New Year, and next year I will go to my mother's house for the New Year, and it will take turns to celebrate the New Year.
2.Take Mom and Dad over and say that you haven't stayed for 3 days, and after Mom and Dad leave, you go to your mother-in-law's house to pay New Year's greetings.
3.Take your mother-in-law and father-in-law to stay for 3 days, and after they leave, you go to your parents' house to pay New Year's greetings.
4.If you have the conditions, take your parents-in-law and parents on vacation during the New Year, so that they can enjoy the beauty of nature. Dear, remember to do a good job in advance.
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The traditional custom is generally like this, if there is no elder brother or younger brother in the family, the woman can spend the New Year at her mother's house, and if there is, it is best to avoid spending the New Year at her mother's house.
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Many of them have been at my mother-in-law's house.
There are also those who have no taboos and have lived in their mother's house.
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We have a custom that the daughter who marries out is not at home for the New Year, and it is not good to spend the New Year at home, so I usually go back to my parents' house after the New Year, and I usually go back like the second and third of the first year.
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I arrived at both of them because we were close.
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Both families went back, first to my mother-in-law's house, and then to my parents' house on the second day of the new year!
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According to the old tradition, it must be to go back to the in-law's house for the New Year, in the past, the status of women was low, and it was difficult to think about going home for the New Year after getting married. However, now that the status of women has improved, this unwritten rule seems to be unreasonable. In fact, it is not easy to go back to your mother-in-law's house or your parents' house for the Chinese New Year, and the couple should be considerate of each other.
First of all, if you go back to your mother-in-law's house, your daughter-in-law must think about a gift for her in-laws, and she can't go with empty paws, right? Therefore, the pressure of hail to accompany Xiang's daughter-in-law back to her mother-in-law's house is very great, and she feels sorry for the money when she buys it, and the old man who is not good is not happy. If she goes back to her parents' house, her daughter doesn't need to think too much, and for the elderly, there is no gift more valuable than her daughter.
But this is from the wife's point of view, if you are from the husband's point of view, you don't need to prepare anything when you go back to your parents' house, and when you go back to your father-in-law's house, you have to treat yourself as a "guest", and you have to think about the New Year's goods for a long time.
Secondly - the difference between going to relatives Of course, due to the impact of the epidemic, we do not advocate everyone to go to relatives. However, if the epidemic is over, the daughter-in-law will have to meet all kinds of strange "relatives" when she returns to her mother-in-law's house, and there are all kinds of dialects, and the daughter-in-law will regard herself as an "outsider", which is very embarrassing. And this situation will not happen when you go back to your parents' home, everyone has known each other for a long time, and there will be endless topics.
However, the husband will be the opposite with the wife, and they will go back to their mother-in-law's house to be happy, and their mother's house to be embarrassed. Finally, the degree of hardship is in the mother-in-law's house, and the daughter-in-law must treat herself as a hard-working little bee, washing vegetables, cooking, washing dishes, and cleaning up the house, and she must rush to do it with her mother-in-law, otherwise she will be considered rude. And in her mother's house, the girl can be a big lazy worm, half-lying on the sofa and watching TV with melon seeds.
It is worth mentioning that it will not be too hard for the husband to return to the father-in-law's house, probably this is the essential difference between men and women.
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Time flies, and in the blink of an eye, it is the end of the year, and there is a joyful and festive atmosphere everywhere.
The Spring Festival is the most solemn traditional festival in China, and it is the day before the family reunion. It is an important carrier for emotional release and psychological appeal satisfaction. This is a beautiful day, but for a married woman, her heart is full of melancholy and entanglement: should she go back to her parents' house for the New Year or go to her mother-in-law's house for the New Year?
In the traditional concept, this problem does not seem to have ** sex at all, and the patriarchal culture of "marrying a chicken and marrying a dog with a dog" makes it a customary rule for women to celebrate the New Year at their in-laws' house. On the second day of the Lunar New Year, a woman carries her husband, a chicken in her left hand, a duck in her right hand, and a fat doll ...... on her back
As the multi-child family of the past is replaced by the single-child family of the present, the traditional concept is being broken little by little. Especially for post-80s couples, many of them are "double independence" families, and women do not go to their in-laws' house for the New Year like before, and there are other brothers and sisters at home to accompany their parents; But once you go to your in-law's house for the New Year, your parents will have to face the torment of loneliness during the most solemn festival of the year.
It is said that the peak of the divorce rate in China is not only after the college entrance examination is around the New Year, and both husband and wife are concerned about their parents, and want to go back to their homes to accompany their parents during the Spring Festival holiday. As a result, couples who are usually in love often go back to their parents' homes or go to their in-laws' houses because of the Spring Festival, which even affects the stability and harmony of the relationship between husband and wife.
There is no doubt that women are reluctant to go back to their in-laws' house for the New Year, which not only means that they have to spend the Spring Festival holiday trembling and walking on thin ice, but also have to give up their parents who raised them to accompany their in-laws who are not related by blood. But most women still follow the rules to go to their in-laws' house for the New Year, in addition to the traditional constraints, the most important thing is to love their husbands. Her husband is the connection point between a woman and her in-laws, she doesn't want him to be caught in the middle and be a difficult person, she loves her limbs and her mother-in-law, so she disobeys her own will to please her in-laws.
Therefore, men should understand and understand women's sadness and suffering.
Yes, children also have self-esteem, so if you can't reason with your child outside, you must ignore it, don't scold, and the child will also analyze.
Mid-Autumn Festival, Mid-Autumn Festival, National Day, this festival is an important festival in traditional Chinese culture, there are many people during the unit holiday, or when visiting relatives and friends, they all hope that everyone will spend a very pleasant holiday together, some people choose to go back to their mother's house, and some also choose to go to the father-in-law's house, which is very much expected by everyone, we hope that in such a Mid-Autumn Festival and National Day, we can get together with the family for the festival. Yes, because their home and their mother's house are far away, there is no time to go back, so in the Mid-Autumn Festival and National Day, they choose not to go back to their mother-in-law's house, or their mother's house, this phenomenon is also very much, and it can also be understood by everyone, because some time to take a holiday is also a very short distance, far away is not to come back, in order not to delay work, some people choose not to go back, which is also understandable to everyone.
<>I consider myself a very lucky woman, although I don't have a very good appearance, but I am fortunate to have a husband who loves me and loves me very much, and a mother-in-law who treats me like my own daughter. The conditions of my mother-in-law's family are not very good, so when I first got married, my mother-in-law apologized to me, she couldn't give me a lot of bride price like others, but she would definitely do her best to buy us a wedding. >>>More
You can't get a divorce, can you? I suggested going home with him, and then negotiating terms with him accordingly, because he would repented first, and he would not get the price. Hee-hee: It's almost enough, how can the two of them live so lightly.
Say it in advance, get married and buy a house, so that when you get married, you will live in a new house, and you will not live with your mother-in-law.