What is the psychology of the people pleasing type, and what is the people pleasing personality? Is

People with a people-pleasing personality usually have a few things in common:

1. Sensitive. Because he is good at catering to others and pleasing others, he is very sensitive and can quickly feel the emotional changes of the people around him. cares about what others say about themselves, so they are always careful in everything for fear of offending others.

2. Will not refuse.

In order to meet the needs of others, dilute your own needs, never refuse the requests made by others, even if the requirements are difficult to achieve, you will accept them, meet the other party hard, and when you fail to complete the requirements of others, you will be very sorry and apologize frequently.

3. I care very much about my image in the eyes of others.

Because I don't have a confident understanding of myself, I always want to hear what others say about it, so I can get affirmation, and I will think about "what others will think if I do this?" ”

There are many reasons for the formation of a people-pleasing personality, but most of them are related to their upbringing, if they have been hurt in the process of interpersonal communication as a child, bullied, and isolated, it is easy to form a people-pleasing personality, and in their immature cognition, they will think that "if I satisfy others, they will treat me as a friend and will not bully me anymore." "From the inside, people with a people-pleasing personality crave to be cared for and loved, and because they lack too much care, they use what they think is an effective way to gain the attention and kindness of others.

There is a lack of heart, there will be a thirst, the pleasing personality is a true portrayal of this mentality, their hearts are not mature, all self-evaluation and positioning are from the outside world, they are not confident in themselves, do not have the courage to refuse, do not have the courage to face growth by themselves, always eager to cling to some people, access their resources and friendship.

The people-pleasing personality means that he wants to do more actions to get the other party to be recognized by him, and he may give up some of his principles and ideas to accommodate others, hoping to leave some good impressions in the hearts of others.

The people-pleasing personality refers to the personality that blindly pleases others and ignores one's own feelings, which is an unhealthy psychological state.

A people-pleasing personality is a personality that pleases others while ignoring one's own feelings, and is a potentially unhealthy pattern of behavior, not a personality disorder. ”

The obvious trait of the people-pleasing personality is that it is sensitive, and this type of person is always very sensitive to the needs of others. People with a people-pleasing personality are very quarrelsome with others or have any conflicts.

The psychology of this kind of person is that he does not want to provoke right and wrong, has a weak and timid personality, and likes to seek grievances.

The people-pleasing personality is a personality that blindly pleases others while ignoring one's own feelings, and is an unhealthy state of mind. (1) Particularly sensitive to other people's feelings, especially concerned about what others think of themselves, for fear that others will not like what they do, the more they pay attention to each other, the more they will worry, resulting in being cautious in doing everything, and a small mistake will be annoyed for a long time; (2) Elevate others and belittle oneself There is no assertiveness, and others will eat whatever they say.

In fact, we personally have more or less some people-pleasing personalities in it. Some of the most common ideas in the people-pleasing personality:

"I'm willing to do anything to win love":In the habitual people-pleasing personality, this is their main ideological trait.

"What do others want from me":Be concerned about what others think and expect from you, and feel unquenchable anxiety and worry about meeting them.

"It's up to me":There are some implicit assumptions that can influence their anxiety, such as worrying about what others think and what they should do to meet their needs.

"I don't deserve love":Some people often think that they may have been born with problems and therefore do not deserve love at all, so they must constantly try to win love.

"I have to be perfect":There is also a common mindset in trying to earn love and avoid rejection in the behavioral pattern of trying to strive for perfection, trying to anticipate and correct any personal shortcomings.

The pattern of behavior of the people-pleasing personality is based on the belief that we have to do something to be loved by others, and that in fact we are not accepted and recognized for who we really are.

The people-pleasing personality behavior pattern also includes many aspects:Accommodating all the mistakes, thinking that you are always in last place, turning a blind eye to your inner wisdom and reasonable needs, etc., all of these can lead to a sense of worthlessness in the individual, and a numbness in the heart.

You've probably heard of it"Mind control"。Mind control may sound like a distance from us, but it's all around us, and even some people who exercise mind control don't realize they're doing such things. It's just that when he communicates with people in this way, he can often achieve the goal of driving others to do things for him.

The objects of mind control are typically those who have a pleasing personality, are willing to suffer, are willing to give up their principles first, and have a weak sense of self. Such a person is not a traditional honest and honest person, but a person who is closer to being both honest and unassertive.

Japanese drama "Calm Life".

How do you prevent being controlled by minds?

There is a principle that works well- When you feel that you have been insulted, your rights and interests have been violated, or you have been deceived, refuse directly, fight back directly, and do not try to suppress your first reaction with other high-level reasons.

"He's for my good", "Maybe the situation will get better if you put up with it", "He's my superior", etc., it's not good. Because even if someone is really laying out a bright future for you for your own good, but you feel humiliated at the moment, it still shows that his overall situation is flawed and needs to be optimized. And one of the motivations for optimization is that we immediately stand up and speak up for our own interests.

In general, the people-pleasing personality is wasting energy and time on others. Therefore, in order to avoid being hurt in daily life, try not to let the pleasing personality come out and make trouble, and see clearly what is helpful to you before doing it. If you're not sure if you're a people-pleaser, you can make one"MBTI Test Type 16 Personality Test".

Definition of a people-pleasing personality. A people-pleasing personality is a personality that is oblivious to others and ignores one's own feelings as a potentially unhealthy pattern of behavior rather than a personality disorder, as some of my friends have around me.

Characteristics of the people-pleasing personality.

When someone rejects you, you make it a little bit less light, and when you reject someone, you feel like you've made a big mistake.

When I am with others, I am always afraid of being cold, and I will always take the initiative to find a topic, and even if I chat on WeChat, I will feel guilty if I don't reply in seconds, and I will carefully consider my wording and expression every time, and the content in the dialog box is written and deleted, and I am always afraid of saying the wrong thing.

Don't dare to show bad emotions and cry, because you are afraid that your negative energy will affect others.

How to change it? The biggest mistake of the people-pleasing personality is to always expect everyone to like you, knowing that no one is perfect, you won't please everyone, not everyone will like you, and I need to put too much pressure on myself.

Learn to say no, don't feel unhappy when others are rejected, in fact, the vast majority of people will not be angry or resentful because of rejection, use normal ways to interact with others, show friendship when it is time to be friendly, and express anger when it is time to express anger.

Follow your own heart and believe in yourself, don't care too much about what others think, because you can never please everyone, even if you get more praise from others, but this is not really you learn self-love, in order to reflect your value, you don't have to be more accepting with others from time to time, and love yourself more, treat yourself well. If you have time, you might as well do something you love to do.

As the name suggests, they are always pleasing others before they do, putting the needs of others first, and working to satisfy others. They seem to be always striving for the approval and affection of everyone around them, trying to make everyone but themselves happy. They are tormented by a serious "good guy complex", and this "burden of good guys" even interferes with the normal life and overall happiness of his skins.

Pleasing is a manifestation of unconfidence and dependence on others, and people with the characteristics of pleasing often elevate each other and belittle themselves in the process of interacting with others, so that they are in a position of weakness and change, so that others will not be jealous and tremble.

The performance of the people-pleasing personality is a few defeats:

1. No self, no self-confidence, relying on others, often exalting each other and belittling themselves in the process of interacting with others, so that they are in a weak position. He thinks that if he lowers his posture, others will not be jealous of him and attack him, and even feel that he can protect himself in this way, and only then can he feel steady and safe in his heart.

2. Be careful in your behavior and tone of speech, and strive to create a harmonious atmosphere. For this purpose, they often choose to sacrifice their personal interests and satisfy the unreasonable needs of others in order to please the other party.

3. Take the evaluation of others very seriously, dare not be yourself, express yourself, usually easy to be submissive, afraid of conflict with others, and behave mainly to please others.

Well-known psychologists: improve the pleasing personality.

In relationships, do you care a lot about what others think?

Chongqing's well-known psychological expert Cun Caoxin counselor reminds that there are many things, do you not want to do it, but you can't always say no?

In order to try to fit in, do you deliberately please and play the role of forcing a smile?

In this way, he flattered others, wronged himself, laughed in front of others, and shed tears in his heart. Over time, I lost myself, my heart was so tired that I couldn't find an exit, how could I be happy?

In the third season of "Sister Riding the Wind and Waves", the teacher asked Aya, is she always worried that the people around her are unhappy? Aya said yes without thinking, and said that she belonged to the people-pleasing personality, but she said: "Now that I'm a sister, I think the people-pleasing personality also needs to know how to please herself." ”

Aya is really sober among the 30+ sisters, how does she please herself and others?

Aya says she did both:

First, after 30+, learn to make yourself happy, please yourself, and be responsible for your emotions;

The second is that celebrities are destined to live in right and wrong, so if five out of ten people like it, it is already good. Chongqing psychiatrist emphasized that instead of thinking about how to make everyone like themselves, it is better to be yourself and be the right part of the audience and fans who like you.

Stop Pleasing You: Being a Really Good Person" says, "We don't try to be nice to others in order to feel better; We are good to others because we feel good about ourselves. ”

As soon as Aya arrived on the show, she mingled with all the sisters, and her affinity touched many sisters on the scene, and she was elected as the captain of the first public with a high vote. She's good, and she's good to others. The humility of pleasing when she first debuted, she has long since faded; In its place is independent self-confidence, such a new label.

Every time I see Aya, my heart becomes gentle. What reason is there to deliberately curry favor with it?

We don't have to meet other people's expectations, and we don't have to expect everyone's liking.

Instead of currying favor with others, arm yourself; Instead of listening to the wind and rain, be yourself.

Chongqing Cuncaoxin Psychological Counseling reminds you to try to find what you want to do and go all out for it; No matter where you go, you won't lose yourself.