Ask for jokes, the more the merrier! Leave one for what you see

On January 4, 2013, at the door of the marriage registration office of the Civil Affairs Bureau of Haidian District, Beijing, Liu Mounan and Sui Mou waited in line for the arrival of the other half, and for nearly three hours, they chatted very happily, and the result was ......The two of them registered ......I registered!! I registered!!

Time is the best teacher, but sadly, in the end, he killed all the students.

1. Where do users like to shut down the most? Ningbo. Because someone said: I'm sorry, the user you dialed has turned off ......

2. One day, the coffee cup and the glass were walking on the road at the same time. Suddenly, someone shouted from behind: "Be careful, there is a car!" As a result, the glass was crushed ......The coffee cup is fine. Why? Because coffee cups have ears, glasses don't!

3. Cars can fly. Guess a drink ......Coffee丨Coffee. Because ......(car) (fly).

How many letters are left after removing e and t? 24 wrong. Correct answer: 21, because ET is taken by UFO.

5. Why can't you tell bad jokes at the beach? It should be that it will cause laughter (howling) in the sea.

6. Sichuan people have to look at a small animal before eating spicy, and then they are not afraid of spicy, what kind of small animal? Cockroach. Because there is a lyric: "When I see cockroaches, I am not afraid of spicy food".

7. A couple went to martyrdom together, but the money on their bodies was only enough to buy a bottle of pesticide, and the amount of pesticide in this bottle was only enough for one person to die, but in the end both of them died, why is this? Answer: They bought this bottle of pesticide, opened the cap, and the cap read:

One more bottle.

There is a family surnamed Pan, and the elders have passed away.

During the family sacrifice, an old gentleman with a strong local accent was invited to be the master of ceremonies.

The obituary is written like this:

Filial piety: Pangenko.

Filial daughter-in-law: Chi's.

Filial granddaughter: Pan Liangci.

Filial piety: Pan Daoshi.

But this old gentleman is dizzy and his pronunciation is not standard.

When he followed the obituary roll call, he did not see anything that literally had three points of water or the left capital was missing.

So he read it to him like this: Filial piety, turn ......

Follow ......Dou ......」

When Xiaonan heard it, he felt very strange, but he didn't dare to ask, so he turned over a heel fight.

Then he said: "Filial daughter-in-law, also ......."It's ......」

When the filial daughter-in-law heard it: I'm going to turn it over too? So the filial daughter-in-law also turned over a heel fight.

Again: Filial granddaughter, turn it twice. 」

When the filial granddaughter heard it, she thought that her parents had turned it over, so I would too! So I flipped two heels.

At this time, Xiaosun thought to himself: My father and mother have turned it once, and my sister has also turned it twice, so how many times should I turn it? Thinking about it, I started to get nervous: What to do? I saw the old gentleman tear open his throat and read out loud:

Filial piety ......Flip ......to ......Dead ......」

The fool stole the beggar's wallet, and was seen by the blind man, and the dumb man roared, which frightened the deaf man, and the camel stepped forward, and the lame man flew up, and the co-murderer wanted to take him to the public security bureau, and the pockmark said, look at my face.

I said simply, this is the true story of my friend.

He went to the interview with his dad, who was waiting for good news from him. The interviewer asked her about her ideals, salary, etc., and then asked about her family situation, and asked; What does your dad do? Friend;..

Ask; Where's your dad? Do what? My friend was very nervous and introverted at the time, and unconsciously replied to such a classic sentence, "Outside,,,,,,Wait, wait for me.