I m looking for a little funny words, looking for some funny words

Four big pockets. The wife was soaked, the post (dialect, referring to the lover) was prying, and a dozen mahjong were lit, and the first time Miss Dian was reported.

Mahjong song. It doesn't cost much, touch it; Ten pieces and eight pieces, in a good mood; One hundred and twenty eighty, of little value; One thousand two eight hundred, I don't know what to do; Twenty-two eight thousand, the mood is miserable; One hundred and eighty thousand, there will be great tribulation; Millions, millions, and it's over.

The white crane said to the crow, "Are you from Africa or South America?"

The girl wants to fart.

A young man and woman were on a date in the park, and the girl especially wanted to fart, and she thought of a way:

F: Have you ever heard a cuckoo call?

M: I haven't heard of it.

F: I'll teach you, cloth (fart sound) Gu (sound from the mouth) After learning a few times, the time to put it has been released.

F: Did you hear me? M:

The fart was too loud to hear! Qing one day the geography teacher asked the students, the river flows to the **? One of the students stood up and sang abruptly, the river flows eastward.

The teacher ignored him and continued, "How many stars are there in the sky?" The classmate sang again: The stars in the sky are in the Beidou.

The teacher was angry: You get out of here! Students:

Let's go! The teacher said helplessly: Are you sick?

Student: You have me, I have it all! Teacher:

Try to say one more Student: When the road is uneven, a roar! Teacher:

Do you believe that I beat you up? Student: Shoot when it's time Teacher:

I'll make you drop out of school! Student: It's all over Kyushu!

Man! Give it a score! I typed them word by word. It's hilarious.

Eight soldiers took a leave of absence to go to the city, but did not return by the next morning. The lieutenant was annoyed.

Just after seven o'clock, the first soldier came.

I'm sorry, sir. He explained to the lieutenant, "My watch is slow. I didn't catch the train, so I rented a car and rushed back, but the car broke down again on the way, so I had to go to the village and buy a horse. I ran more than ten miles to get back. ”

The lieutenant was very skeptical of his words. Followed by. Six more soldiers came back one after another, all of them - excuses for missing trains, renting cars, buying horses. The lieutenant was about to fire when the last soldier arrived.

I missed the train, so I rented a car and ......”

Shut up! The lieutenant grabbed him and roared, "Do you dare to say that the car is broken?" ”

No! Sir! The soldier gasped, "The car is not broken, but there are so many broken cars and dead horses on the road, the car can't pass!" ”

Once I went to the market to buy vegetables and prepare for a dinner, a Korean friend bought lettuce for 2 yuan 4, and he gave all the change on his body to the vendor, and he was still short of a dime, so he said to the vendor

My hair is all for you, so there is no hair. ”

I don't want your hair. ”

A pedant visiting a friend's house.

Suddenly it rained heavily, and my friend said, "It's raining again, and we have a speculative conversation, so why don't you spend the night with me." ”

Okay, okay, thanks for staying. He agreed, but in the blink of an eye he was gone.

Friends thought he was going to the toilet and didn't care.

An hour later, he came in in the rain and was drenched in soup.

A friend hurriedly asked him what was going on?

He said: "I went home to inform my wife that I would not be going home because of the heavy rain tonight. ”

Occasionally, let's talk about it.

1 male and 1 female. 2 guided tours.

Take a group trip to Beijing.

Played for a day. It wasn't until late that I found out.

Too many people and not enough rooms.

In the end, I had to do it. 2. Guides share a room.

In order not to avoid embarrassment.

2 people and 1 person sleep on one side.

I took a pillow in the middle to separate it.

A peaceful night.

Day 2: Cruise the Great Wall.

Suddenly, a strong wind hung up.

Take the female guide.

The scarf blew in.

See you outside the Great Wall.

Climb over the Great Wall right away.

Pick up the scarf and return it.

Female tour guide who knows female tour guide.

His face was full of anger. Gave the male tour guide.

A slap in the face said;

Even the Great Wall can be climbed.

Why couldn't you even get a pillow last night].

Once upon a time there was a man who had a girlfriend. He loved her more than anyone else in the world. But one day, his girlfriend left him ruthlessly, and didn't even give him a reason.

Watching his girlfriend being shopping by others' hands, he was in pain and lost his mind. Finally one day he killed his girlfriend. Originally, he planned to kill her and kill himself.

But when he was about to die, he felt the preciousness of life. Since then, he has been plagued by nightmares every day, in which his girlfriend is naked, with a disheveled head, a red tongue hanging to the ground, and ten fingers.

like a hook to ask for his life. The nightmare tormented him like a bone, and one day he found a Taoist priest who wanted to get rid of it.

The Taoist priest asked him to do three things.

First, bury his girlfriend's body properly.

Second, burn the pajamas that his girlfriend was wearing before she died.

Third, wash the bloody clothes that have been hidden.

Everything must be done before the third watch, or there will be a fatal disaster!

He followed the instructions of the Taoist priest and did everything very carefully, but the bloody clothes could not be found. The third watch was about to be made, and beads of sweat dripped down his face and wet the carpet. When he was about to watch the third watch, he found the bloody clothes, but no matter how he rubbed them, he couldn't wash them off.

At this time, suddenly the wind was fierce, and lightning and thunder roared. The windows swayed from side to side as the wind slammed, and the sound of glass shattering made people's hearts beat even more, and suddenly all the lights went out, and the whole room was dark.

In the lightning, I saw his girlfriend wearing blood-stained pajamas, with blood dripping from her eyes, and pointed at him with a hideous face and said sharply

Do you know why you can't wash off the bloodstains? He was so stunned that he couldn't say a word.

The girlfriend continued: "Because you didn't use carved laundry detergent, stupid. ”

Recently, I listened to Supergirl Zhang Hanyun's "Sweet and Sour is Me", and it sounded like "......It's really me, and every day is very fresh" ......I was taken aback, this little girl is so bold!!

Later, I heard it a few more times, and it turned out to be "every day is very new to me".

Hemming: "Why can't I have the ramen I want?" I've been waiting for a long time! ”

Man: "Don't worry, don't worry, the master is pulling!" ”

Saying that, the master came with hot noodles and said very enthusiastically: ".

This is what I just pulled! It's still steaming! Please eat, please eat! ”