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Pancake. You have a rare infectious disease," the doctor said to the patient

We're ready to isolate you, and you're only going to have to eat pancakes. ”

Can pancakes cure my disease? ”

No, because only pancakes can be stuffed under the crack of the door. ”

You don't have to wait. In a bar, there is a drunken young man who is tangling with some old men, Gao.

screaming and fighting with them. One of the old men said, "Come on, young man, let's fight one."

Frame. You go out first, and if I don't come out in five minutes, you can start fighting! ”

I've learned how to hold a mouse!

1. The son asked his father: "What is the difference between thrift and stinginess?" ”

Dad said, "When I was reluctant to buy anything for myself, your mother said I was thrifty; When your mother asked me for something and I couldn't buy it all for her, she called me stingy. ”

2. In order to prove to the students the dangers of alcohol, the teacher put a worm into a glass of wine, and the worm died immediately. "You know what this proves? She asked the student.

Xiao Ming's inspiration suddenly appeared, and he said: "This proves that people who love to drink will not have worms in their stomachs." ”

3. Use "lotus root broken silk connection" to form a sentence, and the son meditated for a while and said: "The lotus root is still connected after breaking the thread." ”

I said, "This doesn't work, how can you take it apart and use it." ”

The son continued to think hard, and after a while said bitterly: "I won't make a sentence today, please mother don't break my roots." ”

4. I ate too much during the holidays, and I couldn't help but burp three times in a row in the car, "Uh, uh, uh", a child sitting next to him sat on his mother's lap, and said in a milky voice: "Song to the sky." ”

This morning, a beautiful colleague asked me very formally: "Invite someone to dinner in the evening, are you free?" ”

I said shyly, "Yes." ”

She said, "Then you can be on duty for me, thank you." ”

One day, a friend went to the supermarket, and on his way home, he encountered a knife robbery, and he calmly looked at the knife in the young man's hand and took out the 42 cm long watermelon knife he had just bought from his bag ......

The friend said that he still has not forgotten the ...... expression on the young man's face when he saw the watermelon knife

See Hunan Xiangxiang dialect: Changsha city leaders held a meeting, and the director of the Xiangxiang Office took a roll call: typical pig (telecommunications bureau)?

Arrive! A bit of a pig (post office)? Arrive!

Called a pig (EDB)? Arrive! People are pigs (Personnel Bureau)?

Arrive! Mother is a pig (Food Bureau)? Arrive!

Fighting Pig (Land Bureau)? Arrive! Old Fighting Pig (Labor Bureau)?

Arrive! Crutch pig (Land Bureau)? Arrive!

·· Moderator: The pigs have arrived, now let's fly!

The newlywed couple quarreled, and the woman said with a handful of snot and tears: "I would have listened to my mother if I knew it, and I won't marry you!" ”

The man was stunned for a moment, and then asked slowly, "You mean, your mother once prevented you from marrying me?" ”

The woman nodded.

The man thumped his chest hard and said, "Hey! Looks like I've been wrong about her all these years! ”

I work for an IT company.

One weekend, everyone was busy all morning.

A classmate in the dormitory went to the toilet and accidentally dropped his phone while playing with his mobile phone.

Then, I went back and got a pair of chopsticks to pick them out. Just as he was about to put down the chopsticks to fish, a buddy went into the toilet.

Seeing this, the man asked with concern, "Dude, haven't you eaten yet?" ”

There are two monsters, a red monster and a green monster. It takes 3 bullets to kill the Red Monster and 1 bullet to kill the Blue Monster. Now that you have a pistol with only 2 bullets in it, how are you going to destroy two monsters?

A: First kill the blue monster with 1 bullet, the red monster will turn blue with fright, and then use the remaining 1 bullet to kill it.

Don't be too demanding when you find a girlfriend.

Beautiful and good at cooking, that's a beautiful rice cooker.

Cute and never old, it's cherry balls.

Financially independent and centered on you, that's your mom.

Beautiful, cute, good at cooking, never old, financially independent and centered on you, it is the cherry balls who want to be a mother with a beautiful rice cooker!

Once upon a time there was a eunuch who had no ...... under him

You use everybody's attention, laugh too much, get pregnant, and it's a lot of jokes every day.