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Overcoming the psychology of caring too much about what others think?
As a middle-aged person, I have experienced many things and understood many truths. Caring about what others think will only make your life more tiring, because no matter what you do, there will always be people who are not happy with you. Therefore, we need to learn to let go of our worries and think seriously about whether our actions are reasonable, rather than caring too much about what others think.
In addition, it is also very important to build self-confidence, believe in your own abilities and worth, so that you can get rid of unnecessary psychological burdens and truly live freely.
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Why do some people care too much about what others think?
I think one of the most important reasons is that this person is not confident in his own heart in the first place. It shows that his mind is not mature enough. A person who cares about the opinions of others is in a weak state in the social state in the first place.
I care about what others think of me, I always care about what others think, what others think, everything is focused on others, but I don't have the slightest opinion. I always want to accommodate the other party, I always want to make the other party satisfied, let others be satisfied, and ignore the injustice of the grievances I have suffered. This kind of person thinks of all people, but often ignores himself.
In fact, he has forgotten a truth, people are actually living for themselves, not for others. If you want to overcome this mentality, then you have to make up your mind to change yourself.
Use your spare time to read more books on psychology. And make a rational analysis of your own problems. In life and work, move closer to some extroverts and cheerfulness.
Try to open your heart, open your heart, and express your most heartfelt thoughts truthfully, rather than just looking at what others think.
Don't always think about how to cater to others. To overcome caring too much about other people's thoughts, you must give yourself an encouragement every day, and when you encounter some problems, ask yourself what to do and what you will do, without considering the opinions of others. Over time, you will slowly become assertive and detached from the influence of others.
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Caring too much about other people's opinions, if we have to say that it is a "disease". Then one of the root causes of this disease is over-self-focus.
Psychology has a very interesting theory about this, called the illusion of being perceived.
To put it bluntly, it is a beautiful misunderstanding: you always feel that you are magnified by others, it is close to transparency, it is quite important, and there are more than 30,000 viewers holding microscopes looking at you between your gestures, and others can easily understand your mind in seconds.
And it's not just you, it's everyone. Why, because people are used to being self-centered.
As a result, the world is full of colorful egos, so that too much concern about other people's opinions has become universal.
However, the truth makes people laugh and cry, do you want to know, since everyone is self-centered, the "protagonist" in other "plays", ** has kung fu to look at you.
On the contrary, people may be worried about how you, as the audience in his scene, are looking at him alone.
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First of all, let me tell you a story, there is a millionaire named Charlie, he did something when he was a child that he thought he was very smart, during the meal, he hid himself, he thought that everyone would care about him, but after waiting for a long time, no one really came to ask him, he was very disappointed, and when he came out, he saw that the food on the table was basically finished. He had to eat some leftovers. Since then, he has learned a truth, he is not as important to others as he thinks, you should understand the story of currency, people often live for themselves, so you don't have to pay too much attention to the opinions of others, I think this is enough to solve your problem.
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It is almost impossible for a person to completely overcome his mind that cares too much about the opinions of others, but as long as he does the following, he can definitely overcome some of them:
1: "Go your own way and let others say it." "Concentration can unconsciously get rid of this mentality.
2: Remember not to envy others too much, think that what you do is the best, don't care too much about other people's evaluations, envy others will only make you care more about other people's opinions.
3.Learn self-evaluation: It is not necessary to listen to the evaluation of others all the time, and one's own evaluation is also very effective.
In general, as long as you do these three things, you can overcome your own heart of caring too much about other people's opinions.
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This is indeed a very difficult psychology to overcome, especially if you were very well-behaved and obedient when you were a child, studied well, and were often praised by teachers and parents, you are particularly self-righteous and especially concerned about what others think of you. This is to see your understanding when you grow up, after going to society, you observe how others are criticized, how to overcome your own difficulties and deficiencies unrelentingly, in addition, you have to learn, read books and learn from the experience of predecessors, know that no one is perfect, know that each of us is not so important in the minds of others, but we ourselves magnify it, we overestimate ourselves, we are actually very small in history, and in reality we are also an ordinary person, not so well-known, In this way, you can slowly convince yourself and hone yourself in the workplace, and you will be able to overcome your mentality of caring too much about what others think. I feel like it's my own life experience, and that's how I got through.
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I was originally the same as you, especially concerned about other people's opinions, in fact, this is a kind of weak-minded performance, no confidence in yourself, get a little praise and encouragement from others, it seems to have a sense of existence, people are very tired, and then I met a colleague, said bad words, everyone in the team looked down on him, but I noticed that he didn't care about other people's opinions, and even a colleague scolded him, he also walked away at most, and did not show your general attitude, his mind is very strong, people are also shrewd, but people don't look good, He was short again, and I asked him why he didn't go back. He said that he was too lazy to say, isn't everyone tired when they go back? I learned something from this, and I am like this now, yes, people live for themselves, it's good to live happily by themselves, why care about other people's opinions, isn't it good to live an easy life.
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The reason why we care too much about what others think. It's just a natural phenomenon because we always want to be better than others, or even say that we can't be worse than others. As long as we don't compare too much, and don't let others interfere with our hearts.
Be sensible.
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I don't think you should care too much about what other people think, you have your own way for others to say, you just care too much, you just give others the right to hurt yourself, and it takes a little bit to change (1) to understand the problem.
First of all, you need to compare the above and understand your own problems. Analyze why your emotions have changed. And then whenever you can care about what other people think, you have to tell yourself: this is not right, this is pathological. So as to accept yourself fundamentally.
2) Accept yourself.
The good, the bad, the right, the wrong, none of that matters. What you want is what matters.
In the same way, what is good, what is bad, what is right and what is wrong, as long as it is your own, you have to accept it, because it is a part of you, without which you are incomplete. You can change, but you must not fail to accept it. Accepting yourself is the first step towards normalcy.
3) Hint at yourself.
Change is always hard, and you can jot down these few chicken soups and repeatedly hint at yourself in search of change:
People don't care about you that much, and they don't care about you that much.
In this world, you are the most important person. Other people's opinions and other people's opinions are your business.
Don't be afraid to offend others, they are not as good as you think Good or bad, right or wrong, none of these matters . What you want is what matters.
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Remember that you are you, others are others, and others don't care about you as much as you think. Don't pretend to think that everyone cares about you, except for your parents, siblings. You're just a passerby in someone else's life.
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It's normal to care about what other people think.
If people don't care what other people think, how terrible the world will become.
If you have a bias in your perception of yourself (in fact, everyone is the same), it will lead you to low self-esteem, and then you will feel weak, and then you will be afraid of being abandoned and isolated, and then you will start to "disguise", that is, you will care about what others think, and you are afraid that others will see you through ("weak"). Why would you be afraid? When you deny yourself, the consequences are:
After you think about your ability to survive, you are afraid that it will be difficult for you to survive in this society. If you have a clear understanding of yourself, even if you are abandoned and isolated, you yourself will not feel afraid, because you have strength at this time, so confident people can often withstand blows and tests and become strong in life.
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How do you overcome being too concerned about what others think? A person, first of all, must constantly enrich his heart. As long as your heart is strong, your opinion of others will not matter.
Secondly, try your best to create a life state that you are satisfied with. Then you have to keep working on your own. We have to live in our own world, and we don't have to care about what others think.
Only in this way can we make our lives more exciting!
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It's a psychology. We can care about what other people think, but being too much is a kind of effort to make ourselves very tired. If you care too much, if you don't do something well, you will be very remorseful, blame yourself, well, too sad, too sad.
When this happens, you have to divert your attention from your own path. Put things on another side. That would be nice. It's been a long time, it's been a long time, and it's good if the heart is strong.
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This is a society where people come into contact with each other, as long as you have interactions with people, your impression will be left in the hearts of others, whether it is good or bad, it is just the impression of others, so is the impression of others correct? Of course not, only if you sit upright, this is the most important thing, to be a frank and honest person, and to do things in a downright manner. Others' affirmation can never represent your success or not, of course, in this society, there are still certain criteria for being a man, so what is this criterion?
We just need to have a clear conscience, then in the hearts of others, you should at least be a good person, do not do things that harm others and benefit yourself, do not harm the interests of others, and give appropriate help when others are in need, so that you don't care too much about what others think of you, as long as you are worthy of your conscience, so just go your own way, let others say go, you say I don't succeed, am I not successful? In today's society, it is more important than anything else to be yourself.
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If a person cares too much about the opinions of others, then he will not let go of the pace and have the courage to move forward, how to overcome it? First of all, you must think that you are very good psychologically and inwardly, and what you do is through careful consideration? Think about it and then do it, don't care what others say, you can consider what others say, but don't care too much, and then act on customer service to improve your own ability and grasp your own value, so that you will enhance your confidence, so that you will no longer care too much about what others say and think.
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Just be yourself and accept yourself.
Don't compare with others, have your own pursuits. From today onwards, live your life the way you like.
Judging by other people's judging standards, Yuan Qing treats himself, and Hail Bird Lu tries to meet the expectations of others. Approval or disapproval of me can have a big impact on my emotions. I don't know, and I don't know how to express my needs.
To some extent, I also have some tendency to please others.
Contentment doesn't stop you from moving forward, and most psychologists agree with the assumption that human nature has a drive for self-actualization, which is not stimulated by comparison or pressure.
Let go of the primitive idealized illusion of being number one or first-class. If you are first-class, you will naturally be first-class, and if you are not first-class, no matter how much you torture yourself, you will not be able to become first-class. Albert Einstein's "genius is 99% perspiration and 1% effort" is self-humility.
Of course, it is necessary to work hard for the sake of progress, but excessive effort is a sign of psychological unhealth, and the gains outweigh the losses.
Accepting the affirmation and appreciation of others, and being grateful for it, is a skill and habit worth cultivating.
Understand that failure is a part of life, and distinguish the failure of events from the failure of the whole person. It is an irrational attribution to think that the failure of the event is your own failure. Be aware of such irrational thoughts, not be taken away or occupied by them, point out their irrationality, and believe that as an individual, there is always value.
Don't worry too much about it.
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