Why is it often said that people who are too good talkers have no friends ?

When I first graduated from university, I went to do an internship at a company. At that time, there was a sister who was more than two years older than me in the company, and when I first went, I felt that she was very good, so I often consulted her when I had urgent matters, and I could only find her alone when I had something. In fact, now that I analyze it, my knee-jerk reaction back then was that I thought she was very good at talking, and compared to the coldness of others to deal with newcomers, her friendly attitude revealed made me gradually realize that she was not capable of attacking.

In fact, including myself, I introspectively seem to be a bit blatant in getting along with her. I still need to be a lot more worried in front of others whether I speak or do things, and when others help me, I will be polite a lot, but only in front of this sister, because I don't have a little restraint in my heart, so I am constantly carrying out tests to see what else she will give me, and this idea is completely subconscious, and when I found out, I was shocked. Think about it, if you know someone in your daily life, and you never seem to have seen this person lose their temper, and they are happy to help others, you are very likely to be full of gratitude and like to be around such people.

A person who sets the bottom line higher at the beginning in daily interactions. It is very likely that although it is very easy to leave a bad impression on people, it is often this kind of impression, in fact, it has certain advantages for the long-term development trend of interpersonal relationships.

Due to the passage of time. If a person's conduct is really good, you can definitely see it, and at the same time, this person is still a person with a clear bottom line, so you will subconsciously pay more attention. Speaking of which, I suddenly remembered that when I was in junior high school, there was a boy in my class, who was the kind of person who was very good at talking.

His usual popularity in the class seems to be very good, the key is that many people like to contact him when they are in a hurry, help clean up when they are on duty, help with homework, in short, he is really too enthusiastic.

After that, the class ran for class president, and he also participated at the time, a total of 3 himself, and the students in the class voted online, originally he thought he was very sure, but then there were basically no candidates for him, and he only had two votes. He was so disappointed that he asked me at the time: Why didn't everyone choose him?

I was stunned and couldn't respond, because I didn't vote for him either. But why didn't I vote for him, in fact, I couldn't say it at the time, it was in that scene, although I didn't think deeply about it, that is, I subconsciously felt that she couldn't lead a good class.

If you talk too well, others will form a habit. For example, when someone asks you for money, you borrow every time, but one day you don't have the money to borrow, others will think that you don't want to lend to him instead of having no money to lend to him. Therefore, people who are too good to talk, when you can't meet the requirements of others, will inevitably cause estrangement between the two sides.

It's a classic sentence that roughly means: You often help others, and suddenly you don't help once. Others will only remember what they didn't help, but he won't remember what you helped him before.

Good people do too much, others are accustomed to it, and think that you should be like this, otherwise the other party will think that it is your problem, and there will be a gap between you, and slowly it is a nodding friend. You can't be too old and good, and don't let the other party have this kind of dependence on you.

The better the friend, the more likely it is to have contradictions, that is because after getting along for a long time, the shortcomings and deficiencies between each other will be more exposed, and it is precisely because of the good relationship that they will speak out, but it hurts the feelings and produces contradictions.

When you first meet a person, you don't know each other, of course, you will have a lot to say, and you can't finish talking, sometimes you will feel that some of the other person's views are very fresh and attractive, and after being together for a long time, you will gradually start to find faults, which is a normal process.

At this time, you don't have to feel very strange, let alone wonder if the other party doesn't want to be friends with you anymore, think about it, two unfamiliar people walking together without saying anything will be very embarrassing, but you and your mother walk on the road without saying anything You will never feel embarrassed, the same is true with good friends, people who don't know seem to think that two people don't get used to each other, in fact, you already have a heart.

It's also very important to note that everything is like this, when you get along with someone for a certain period of time, it's like you feel less and less talking, and there are small contradictions, this is the problem of distance, you have been too close to her, and girls are easy to make this kind of mistake.

Why do you see some people around you mentioning their good friends and saying how many years they have been together, it is because they will get along, they will not stick together all day long, they will not always be in touch, after a period of time, everyone is coming together to play or something, talk about the current situation, so that there will be no words, this is the way to get along for a long time.

As for the people in the dormitory and the classmates, they may have to be together a lot for a few years, and that's okay, even so, you don't have to get too close, you can feel that when you are too close to you personally, you will also have a burden on your own psyche.

There is a philosophy called "porcupine philosophy" that says that there is a kind of porcupine, and they are covered with sharp thorns. Every winter, the porcupines lean close to each other to keep warm, but if they get too close, they will be stabbed by their companions, and if they are too far away, they will not play a role in heating, so they finally keep a just right distance after repeated attempts, so that they will not be stabbed by their companions, but they can also keep warm.

People should know how to maintain this appropriate distance in the process of getting along, which is a kind of golden mean.

This is very normal, because you are not in the same place, and you are not in the same school anymore, so you will have fewer topics, which is very normal, you have to contact more, so that the friendship between you will not fade, you can hang out together, so that your friendship will not fade.

The growing lack of conversation between good friends can be due to a variety of factors. Here are some possible reasons:

1.Different life experiences: Good friends may have different life trajectories and experiences, and as time goes by, their life circles may change, resulting in their topics and hobbies no longer being the same.

2.Changes in communication styles: As you get older, the way you communicate between good friends may change.

For example, they may shift from face-to-face communication to social** or email, which can affect the effectiveness of their interactions.

3.Hectic pace of life: Modern people are living at an increasingly fast pace, and good friends may all face different work and life pressures, resulting in them not having enough time or energy to communicate.

4.Emotional estrangement: Sometimes, the feelings between good friends can be estranged for some reason, such as conflicts or misunderstandings that are not resolved in time. This estrangement can lead to less topics and commonalities between them.

5.Decrease in common interests: Good friends may find that they share fewer and fewer interests with each other over time. When they don't have a common topic, they find it increasingly difficult to communicate.

If good friends are running out of things to talk about, here are some things you can try to improve your relationship:

1.Create shared experiences: Good friends can plan some shared activities or trips to create new shared memories and increase communication and commonality with each other.

2.Diversified communication methods: Good friends can try to use different communication methods, such as face-to-face communication, **, chat or social**, etc., diversified communication methods can increase the interest and fun of communication between each other.

3.Listening and understanding each other: When good friends don't have much in common, try to listen and understand each other's interests and ideas more to promote communication and emotional connection with each other.

4.Open communication: If there is a conflict or misunderstanding between good friends, try to communicate openly and resolve the issue. By communicating openly and honestly, you can increase trust and understanding with each other.

5.Stay attentive and caring: Stay attentive and caring for each other, even if your best friends have different topics and interests. This attention and concern can increase the emotional connection between each other and promote better communication and understanding.

In short, the communication between good friends requires the joint efforts and maintenance of both parties. If you find that communication with each other has decreased, you can try the above methods to improve the relationship and increase trust and understanding between each other.

That's when good friends are also estranged. With the change of the environment, each has its own social circle, and the original good friends can not communicate together often due to various reasons, and the estrangement will be spontaneous and stupid, and they are busy with all kinds of exchanges.

Because telling the truth often offends people, there are fewer and fewer friends who tell the truth, and everyone is good yes.

A person who only likes to listen to good words is equivalent to liing, and he himself lies and forces others to lie. Ask others: Do you love me, do you miss me? It's a stupid person who says he doesn't love it, doesn't want you to listen to it, and only lies and deceives you.

The person who often praises you and praises you is not your friend, but the person who wants to please you; The person who risks offending you and tells you about your shortcomings is your true friend, and because of the weakness of human nature, he resists and talks about his shortcomings, and he has no real friends.

It is wise to be friends with people who often say that you are bad and point out your shortcomings.

Whoever does not like to hear the truth must have friends who are liars.

Those who are happy when they say good and disgusted when they hear the truth are destined to live in deception and being deceived. Tell the truth that he said that you had hurt him and hated you; The one who tells the lie is his bosom friend, and there is no greater failure in life than this.

Only those who have the courage to accept criticism, blame, and face up to their weaknesses can correct their shortcomings; In order to know yourself correctly, your heart will not be swayed by what others say is good or bad.

Stepping out of the eyes of others and reaping the freedom of the soul is a wise life.

The truth is often easy to hurt people, friends get along with each other, and speaking also needs to be artistic. Friends will slowly stay away, what good friends are there after a long time!

Because the truth is the big truth, as the saying goes, the truth is not good, and it is easy to offend people, so there are no friends.

It can only be said that people who are too upright may not be so popular, and some truths are not so good, after all, many people like good words. It would have been nice to change the way you express it a little bit.

I once had a friend who always didn't know when he said the wrong thing, and he didn't know when to say what should be said, and I expressed my helplessness.

It is a very sad thing to have such a friend, because it will invisibly bring you a lot of trouble.

is often in an embarrassing state, that is, a good sentence, just from her to say it with you, which is particularly annoying. Originally, everyone spoke well. He interjected with a word, and it instantly froze. Absolute topic buster.

This kind of person is generally very low in emotional intelligence. I don't know what to say on what occasion. So they are also very easy to offend people.

To put it nicely, it's called a relatively straight character. If it doesn't sound good, it's just that the brain is not suitable. But they are not bad by nature, they just don't know the art of speaking.

I don't know what I can say and what I can't.

After getting along for a long time, I know that he is not that kind of person. But sometimes it's infuriating. Sometimes I remind him that he slowly gets used to it, and no matter what he says, he doesn't care about it anymore. After all, I know that what he said is not what he said.

Sometimes I really envy him for having roommates like us who understand her. But not everyone is as tolerant of him as we are, she lost a friend because she couldn't speak, because she lived in the school, and the family that lived close to her would occasionally bring some delicious food to the school, and she would call her friends who had a good time to eat together. It happened that my roommate was not there, so we ate first and left some for her.

When she came back, she saw what we left for her, and she didn't even want to say a word, you just give me these leftovers to eat, I know she's joking, but the girl listened to it, and she got angry at the time, and directly poured the food, and her roommate didn't expect her to react so much, and felt too embarrassed. In the end, neither of them apologized, and they never talked to each other again.

In today's society, being able to speak has become another form of expression with high emotional intelligence. But there are a lot of people who still can't speak.

It's like when I was in high school, I had a classmate who spoke prickly and would say something that made me feel embarrassed. For example, when I asked him a question, I really didn't. He was good at math, but when I asked him, he looked at the question and asked me loudly

You don't know what you usually do in class with this kind of question, you don't listen to the class. Then I told him I listened, and my face was almost red. And he said:

After you hear it, you are still like this, just ask when you should be in class, don't pretend to understand. ”。

I really wanted to pick up the paper and leave, but I put up with it because I thought I was asking for advice. When I got to college, I knew a classmate from the neighboring class, who had a similar personality to my classmate in high school, and he usually spoke with a knife in every sentence.

One time I was walking with my roommate and him, and suddenly I talked about studying. He asked me loudly, "Don't you feel sad that your roommate hasn't failed the course but only you haven't?"

I was surprised and asked why I had failed. He was a little embarrassed and said

Since you didn't fail the course, but you studied so hard, your grades were only so many points in the end. ”。I slammed back:

I don't want to go to graduate school, why am I sad, just don't fail the course. ”。