Is bride price really the litmus test of love?

Recently, a screenshot of a WeChat chat on Weibo was on the hot search: A couple in Yancheng, Jiangsu Province planned to get married on National Day, but the woman's parents increased the price twice, and the bride price increased from 100,000 to 210,000. The man finally said, sell your daughter?

Can't afford to love. Some netizens believe that the amount of bride price is not the point, the point is that the woman's parents have increased the price again and again, not being honest, and gaining inches.

When it comes to the perception of bride price, men and women have different opinions.

The woman's parents feel that they have worked hard to raise their daughter for more than 20 years, and they can't cheapen the other party in vain, and ask for more dowries, in case their daughter has anything to do in the future, so that they can have a backer. What's more, there is a son to be married in the family, and the bride price money is for the bride price money prepared for the son, and the daughter has invisibly become a commodity that is sold openly.

The man's parents felt that they were a family when they entered the house, and if they were so unhappy before marriage, how would they live their wedding days in the future. Besides, my son's condition is not too bad, what kind of can't I find? Do you have to hang yourself from this tree?

But no matter how parents view the bride price, it is their own children who are hurt in the end.

In fact, at the beginning, the bride price was purely a custom, commonly known as the levy, and the levy means success, that is, after the bride price is given, the marriage contract is formally concluded, and it is generally not allowed to renege. If there is a repentance, if the woman repents, the bride price should be returned to the man, and if the man repents, the bride price is generally not refunded.

But now, the bride price seems to have become a means of comparing with each other, whose daughter to be married has a partner, the first thing to ask is not how the other party is, whether he really likes it. Rather, how much bride price was asked for at the time of engagement. If there are more, you will naturally get a sigh of envy, and if there is less, you will also get a sigh of disdain.

Such a voice tortures the hearts of every parent, so they do not think about their children. I just want to "shine the lintel", and from then on I raised my eyebrows.

Soon-to-be-married couples are the victims of this bride price battle. No matter what the final outcome is, this farce caused by the bride price will always be a thorn in their hearts, and it will hurt from time to time. Think about it, will such a day be comfortable?

There is also a voice on the net. It is said that the bride price is the touchstone of love, if you love, you will give, and if you don't love, you will refuse. What's more, if you don't want a bride price before marriage, you will be looked down upon by your mother-in-law's family in the future.

In fact, it's just a matter of opinion. You put forward a claim, and I refute it, but few people care about what the real parties to the incident think. Although it is said that love is a matter of two people, and marriage is a matter of two families or even two families, in the final analysis, this matter must be discussed by both men and women, rather than which parent blindly arranges it.

There is no love in this world, only common interests.

Yes, I can do without, but you can't not not want to give in the first place!

Everything exists and makes sense, depending on how you understand and how it works!

The bride price is a litmus test and a stumbling block.

The dowry has continued in ancient times, and has completely changed its original meaning, and it can even decide whether to marry or stay, which has become a touchstone and stumbling block for love.

Nowadays, when talking about marriage, the bride price is a hurdle that cannot be bypassed, and the woman feels that the bride price is a test of the man's family, whether the sincerity is recognized or not, the bride price is the guarantee of the daughter, and the man will be sincere if he asks to marry.

And the man is afraid that the bride price will not be returned, he feels that love cannot be measured by money, and he feels that all aspects of the hail marriage in the state of regret will cost money, and this will be taken out How to live in the future.

The woman examines the importance of the man with the bride price, and the bride price that the man cannot afford has become a stumbling block to the marriage, and both parties are satisfied that is the first key to open the marriage, otherwise it will become the first killer of love.

Tu Lei once said that if the woman took the initiative not to ask for the bride price, there was a trace of the boy who took it for granted, because it was the person who loved it, not my money.

There is also a kind of boy who will take the initiative to ask the woman for money, they think that when they get married, they must prepare a house and a car for the woman to marry in style, which is the responsibility of the man, even if the woman asks for it, they think it is normal. If the woman says that she doesn't want this, the man will be grateful from the bottom of his heart and feel that he is blessed to marry true love.

These are two different men's psychology, it is impossible to say who is good and who is bad, but the bride price is like a mirror that can reflect people's hearts, and it is important to judge the position and weight of the other party's heart. The bride price of the woman is also the parents' concern for the happiness of their daughter, and they want an attitude or ceremony.

Nowadays, the high bride price in the society has become a burden for many families, especially those with two boys in the family, which is really too stressful, and whether love can be stable and long-term is not something that the bride price can decide.

Therefore, the bride price can be had, but it cannot be used to measure love, let alone the touchstone of love.

The origin of the bride price

Wedding bride price, also known as financial gift, dowry, bride price, etc., is a bride price paid by the man to the woman in modern China to retain the old marriage customs. The wedding bride price money is mostly used to buy furniture, household appliances, clothes, etc., and can also be used to pay for the woman's banquet expenses, and some use the bride price money directly as the woman's dowry.

Since ancient times, the conclusion of marriage in China has had the custom of the man giving the woman a bride price and a bride price when the marriage agreement is initially reached, which is commonly known as "bride price". The Zhou Dynasty is the era of the collection of etiquette, when a complete set of marriage etiquette was gradually formed, there are detailed regulations in the "Etiquette", the whole set of ceremonies is combined into the "Six Rites", the Western Zhou Dynasty was established and followed by the previous dynasties of the "Six Rites" marriage system, is the "bride price" custom of **.

The "six rites" are: Nacai, asking for names, Najib, Najib, inviting the period, and welcoming in person, and the "Nazheng" in the six rites is which eases the employment and sends the money, which is equivalent to the "bride price" that is now spoken.

The bride price is the touchstone of love. The bride price doesn't really determine anything, what determines your happiness or not is whether you and your partner share the same values, whether you have the responsibility and attitude to take on the family, and whether you love each other enough.

The most correct attitude towards the bride price is to choose one that everyone can afford according to the family conditions on both sides, which can not only show the man's sincerity to the woman, but also let the woman rest assured that she will marry you, and do not blindly compare other people's bride price.

To be able to talk about the bride price openly, there is no need to hide it, what to say, what should be given is necessary to give, and what should not be given can be discussed and given. As long as the work is explained and explained, the obstacles brought by the bride price to the marriage can be removed. The mood of both men and women towards the bride price determines the happiness of the marriage.

A man who is stumbling over the bride price issue is also a man who can stumble over marriage. Such a situation needs to be treated with caution on both sides.

The bride price is not a stumbling block to feelings, this is the first test for the two to enter the marriage, not a compromise on money, not a temporary flattery to empty the family, but a collision of ideas and three views, whether they can work together to solve this problem, whether they are willing to work hard or take a step back for the person they love. If the relationship is given up just because of the bride price, you need to think deeply about whether it is worth compromising, but the premise is that both parties need to work hard to hold the eggplant, the man does not blindly impose pressure on the parents, and the woman does not demand different conditions from the family with other people's bride price standards. Only by mutual understanding and consultation can we get through this "difficulty".

The bride price can't kill love, love always comes from love, and love is in love.

Actually, this is not a question of choosing one of the two Wangs.

The bride price is neither a litmus test nor a stumbling block, but an act of courtesy. It is a concept to be too sleepy and scattered.

The bride price is the touchstone of love. Love will never lose to the bride price, but to reality and character.

The bride price can try out the character of the other party. Only incompetent men think that women worship money. In the face of the bride price, does he complain and roar or even abuse, or take it seriously, deal with it carefully, and try his best to satisfy the female Zen Mo Hu Fang and her parents?

The bride price wandering test is the three views, and the test is the people's heart. When the man or his family hears about the bride price, they think it is a bad custom, it is a sale of their daughter, and they are bent on giving less or no bride price. This is a disrespect to the woman.

The bride price can test whether the other person really loves you. If he really loves you, he will try to solve every stumbling block in your love, try to give you material security, and will not be willing to embarrass you.

Through the bride price, we can find out the man's family background and character, wake up from the joy of love, and let us see clearly whether this man is worthy of marriage.

Love can be materialistic, but marriage is material. Since the bride price exists, it has the value of existence, at least it can try people's hearts.

My point of view on the bride price is: first of all, the bride price is a process that needs to be taken when getting married, and the man will have a bride price when getting married, and the woman will also have a dowry. But after a long time, everyone misinterpreted the bride price, and many people felt that they couldn't marry because of the small bride price.

In fact, a long time ago, there were love gifts, handkerchiefs, personal objects, etc., which expressed wishful thinking and lifelong commitment. Later, after entering the feudal society of private ownership, a good marriage became a sale, the bride price became a deposit, and the girl became a commodity. In this kind of morbid value marriage, the amount of the bride price indicates the value of the woman, and it is even called "value gift" in some places and nationalities.

After liberation, the marriage law explicitly abolished the sale of marriage, but in some places, it still continued, and "the soup is not changed". That is, after the bride price is given, the marriage can be completed, and it is generally not allowed to repent. If the woman repents, the bride price should be returned to the man, and if the man repents, the bride price is generally not returned.

Moreover, the amount of the bride price depends on the requirements of the woman's family and the economic situation of the man's family, but in some cases, it is a fixed price, so I think there are still pathological values.

Furthermore, I feel that the bride price and the dowry are two families helping a new family, rather than one family helping the other.

But we do not advocate sky-high bride price, nor do we advocate zero bride price, after all, people have raised a girl for more than 20 years to marry into the man's family, and giving a certain amount of bride price is a respect for the woman's family.

At last. The happiness of two people is not determined by the bride price, but by whether you are happy or not: whether you and your partner have the same values, whether you have the responsibility and attitude of the family, and whether you love each other deeply enough.

In addition, if even the most basic material living conditions cannot be satisfied, then the marriage must be unhappy. The amount of the wedding bride price still depends on the income and consumption level of the region, and also refers to your own family situation and your own income. I think that except for a few special circumstances, if a manly man is like a man who stands up to the sky, if he can't even guarantee the basic life of the family, then don't talk about marriage.

I'm lamb kebabs, goodbye! ）

The bride price is a test and defeat within a reasonable range, and an excessive bride price will become a stumbling block to the love between the two.

Marriage and love are two different things, love is a matter of two people, and marriage is a matter of two families. To go from love to marriage, you have to go through a lot of tedious things, and the wedding bride price is an important part of it.

Some people say that the love between the two is pure, and it hurts too much to raise money, but it is often the bride price that can test the man's sincerity. When I got married, my in-laws took the initiative to ask about the customs of our hometown, and there was no hesitation about the requirements for the bride price.

The bride price is the sincerity of the man, if you really love someone, the man should try his best to satisfy the other party, because all this is done to marry her, from the beginning of marriage, the woman is trying her best to work for the family, take care of her parents, raise children, a little bride price to take the town sincerity is really nothing. Of course, the woman also makes requests according to the man's family situation, if the request is too much, so that the man is breathless and has no ability to complete the woman's request, then in the end he can only endure the pain of love, then in the end it will make both parties lose more than they lose.

Marriage should be a happy event full of expectations, the two form a family to start a new chapter of life, the bride price can be done according to the actual situation of both families, how much the man takes out is sincere and rude, and how much the woman asks is the mind. A moderate bride price is the touchstone of marriage, and excessive is a stumbling block.

The bride price is a folk custom that has been handed down from ancient times to the present, and it can also be said to be a custom, but due to the changes of the times and the change of social status, the bride price has been upgraded to a mode of showing off.

The pattern of bride price for different families is also different. Compared with the better family conditions, the bride price is only a small part of the composition of a wedding, just auspicious, more colorful. Some families ask for a bride price to prove that the woman has a position in the family in the man's mind.

There are also some people who really need this bride price to test the two sides and the elders of both sides.

But there are many such examples around, and some local customs take the bride price very seriously. Knowing that the other party can't get so much dowry, but they want to embarrass the other party, and some can swallow their anger and go around to borrow to satisfy each other. Some are not defeated because of the high bride price, and they will not give up their existing love.

Therefore, the bride price is not only the touchstone of love, but also the stumbling block of love. Whether the former or the latter, it depends on the perceptions of both parties.

Now that we are people of the new era, I think everyone should still measure this bride price by their actual ability. Because in the future, it will be two people who will really live together, and we will also have the next generation, and the next generation will also experience the same thing. I hope that by the time the next generation arrives, this bride price will really be just a small show, rather than treating it as a show-off capital.

Finally, I wish every couple a happy and happy couple.