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You can talk to the old man about what he thinks, and then you have to respect the old man and try not to let the old man educate the child, because the intergenerational education will destroy the child. Usually you should let the elderly cultivate the independence of the child, do not feed the child, let the child eat by himself.
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I think he should educate his children by himself, and in the process of educating his children, he should not listen to the opinions of the elderly, and he should not leave his children in the care of the elderly, so that the two education methods can be coordinated.
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Be sure to focus on communication, don't be angry with your family at this time, learn to understand, you have to learn to be tolerant, don't always be self-righteous.
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With the pressure of life and the increase in daily living costs, young people now give birth to babies, and they are generally all helped by the elderly, and the core concepts of parenting education are different for several generations, which of course has caused many contradictions.
01 Pay attention to the elderly, and it is not their responsibility to take care of the baby:
Some parents take the elderly with their babies for granted, and with this kind of thinking and criticism of the psychological state to see the elderly with children, some small problems and small differences will be infinitely bigger. If there is a slight problem, you will label your parents as "outdated" and "persistent", of course, how to look at it is all wrong.
The elderly give up their daily free time, do not go to play cards and chess, vacation travel, and help us take care of the baby at home, even if there are likely to be some problems with the specific method, but in the final analysis, or in order to better help everyone save money, everyone must also learn to be grateful, at least learn to respect them.
02Try to get to know them:
A sentence that is often on the lips of the old people is: "You were raised by me at that time, and I didn't see any problems." "Many people get angry when they hear them, and they feel that the older generation is disrespecting the old.
In fact, sometimes it's not the parents who are just using themselves, but they are actually bringing you up in these ways. In the eyes of many people, there is nothing wrong with bringing you up like that, and then there is nothing wrong with bringing grandchildren like that. It's not wrong to say they're wrong, because you're a good example.
It is only the time that is developing, and the methods of the time need to be adjusted accordingly. Therefore, when you have children, you must understand that they are not deliberately going against you in the wrong way, but are just immersed in the past, and you need to communicate with them immediately and not make fun of the job responsibilities.
03 Communication is important:
Sometimes it is a trivial matter, but how can it cause a big conflict, because the communication method is wrong. Not long ago, when I went to see a good friend in confinement, my friend talked in public in front of everyone about her mother-in-law's posture of breastfeeding the baby, and she would not burp the baby.
Although the old man didn't say anything at that time, it didn't take long for him to go home. Therefore, sometimes, there is a knack for communicating with people, and the elderly also love face, so what advice does not have to be said in front of children and others. It's best not to reprimand them with harsh tones and sentences.
Choose a suitable place to speak, speak in a fair tone, soft and critical, and achieve results from afar.
04 Bring the elderly to study together:
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Don't have a head-on conflict with the elderly, and then communicate well with the elderly, and take the initiative to take responsibility for educating children. Parents are the guardians of their children, and it is the parents who play a decision-making role, and the old man just gives you some advice.
in homeschooling.
When children make mistakes, elders cannot always be separated. Parents can't just ask their elders to use our methods. Elders want to be with our educational philosophy.
Unanimous. Only in this way can the child's education be successful. Choose the right time to communicate, avoid pointing out problems in person, and don't directly criticize the elderly's practices.
If anyone finds fault, the direct reaction is negation and **, which is not good for solving the problem. Moreover, this kind of face-to-face accusation is not respectful enough for the elderly, and it also demonstrates a very bad behavior for the child, so he should wait for the matter to pass before talking to the elderly. This kind of communication will make the elderly understand that we are on the side, working together to help the children, and no one is paying for anyone.
Both parents and elders should be relaxed about their children's problems. As parents, we should not make decisions for our children, so that our children can grow up in a relaxed family atmosphere with principles and rules. In a family, the education of parents can be the focus.
When parents are at home and can take care of their children, the elders can take care of their children, do not interfere too much, do not interfere with the parents' education of their children. It is important to start from a common goal for the good of the child. When you want to give advice, start by putting yourself in a different position, not blaming, and use persuasive communication skills.
As young parents, we should be grateful to our elders. Parents should be worried about us and our children when they grow up. Therefore, while educating children, it is also necessary to let children know that it is difficult for their elders to take care of themselves. We should all be grateful and respectful of our elders.
Imagine taking care of children like a parenting expert, do everything scientifically, not to mention the elderly, we ourselves dare not guarantee that we are doing everything right. Therefore, it is better to grasp the big and let go of the small, do casually in some things that are harmless and do not have much impact on the child, and keep and do not make concessions on issues of principle.
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When educating children, it should still be handed over to parents to educate children, and the elderly can play games with children when educating children.
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Be sure to strengthen communication, don't be impulsive when you encounter anything, you must communicate first, and get the understanding of your parents.
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I think the best way to do this is to absorb the opinions of both parties, so that we can educate our children together.
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This is a common phenomenon in some ethnic areas, and it can be regarded as a cultural tradition.
It's not only the older generation who like to educate people, but everyone who thinks they can get their hands on something loves to educate people, regardless of age, identity, industry, and generation, and everyone's selection criteria and motivations for education objects are surprisingly consistent: that is, I think you are inferior to yourself in these aspects, and I am willing to help you.
This educated person can be his own son, grandchildren, spouse, or his own father, mother, and wife; It can be classmates, colleagues, friends, neighbors, and their juniors who have a good relationship, but it is relatively rare to educate outsiders and elders.
What can be determined is that when the content of our education is not our specialty, or when the object of education is relatively abstract or unfamiliar, this kind of education will have no effect except self-embarrassment. It is also impossible for the other party to feel any kindness from us.
If this is a problem, it is a problem that most people have; If this is a virtue, it is also a virtue that most people judge and discredit. However, many regions and ethnic groups in the world no longer have this thing.
Here, when we feel that this question is a problem, we are already preparing to educate people.
But the people in question are almost almost none of the older generation, and the objects of education are completely strangers.
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Because in the eyes of the elders, what they say is correct, they feel that they have lived for a long time, have more experience than us, and make the right decisions, they are afraid of being taken the wrong path and detours in the future, and they are afraid that the younger generations will suffer hardships, and they always want to give the best to the younger generations, so they always instill the younger generations with what they think is correct. On the issue of older people educating younger people, I would like to make some observations. Older people always think that they have walked more bridges than young people!
Eat more salt than the young empty teaser others! There are more people on the kang than young people! Therefore, they think that in front of the younger generation, they have the most right to speak!
It is understandable that the older generation has their own unique views and ways of looking at problems and doing things, but they also have the disadvantages of sticking to the rules and not knowing how to be flexible. Take my father as an example, he loved to instill in me the fine Chinese traditions and codes of conduct such as loyalty, filial piety, benevolence, courtesy, righteousness, and honesty, and I felt that I benefited a lot. But when he was studying, he made the mistake of replacing the face with a point, there was a baby in our village, and he was dizzy when he entered the examination room during the college entrance examination, so he tossed back and forth for a few years, but he didn't take a good university, and his father took out this special case, thinking that I might not be the same as him when I was in high school, so I chose the winding road of the secondary school, and the result can be imagined, all of them are about to run to the fourth.
To sum up, when the elderly love to educate the young, the young people should listen to the elderly out of politeness and respect, take the essence and remove the dross, and the truth has to be digested and selected by themselves!
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There are many reasons why older people like to educate younger people, including the following:
1.Feeling their presence and worth: As they age, older people experience the finitude of life, and that's when they begin to think about their own existence and worth in the world.
Young people can be taught to feel that their existence is meaningful and that their wisdom and experience can be accepted and respected by others.
2.Passing on culture, values and experiences: Older people have accumulated a lot of life experience and life wisdom that can be passed on by educating young people.
Older people see it as their responsibility and obligation because they want the younger generation to better understand and inherit traditional culture and values.
3.Gain happiness and contentment: Educating young people can also give older people a sense of happiness and contentment, as they feel that their experiences and wisdom can be helpful and inspiring to young people.
Older people may not be able to experience first-hand what younger people are experiencing, but by educating young people, they can connect and resonate with young people in some way.
4.Help Yourself Stay Energized and Physically and Mentally Healthy: Educating young people requires older people to maintain positive thinking and proactive action, which helps older people stay connected and active in their surroundings.
It can also help older adults maintain their physical and mental health and a sense of purpose in life.
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First, the old people have rich experience, and it is a good thing for the old people to tell their experience about the impermanence, and the young lovers should listen to it with an open mind and absorb the value. Having said that, experience is priceless, and if you absorb it, you can avoid some detours!
Second, some old people are a little unaccustomed to the practices of young people, which may be the generation gap! After all, different generations have different ways of doing things. But it's nothing, young man! It doesn't hurt to listen to that!
Third, some people are good teachers, not only the elderly, but also a few good teachers, including me who are a bit of a good teacher, this habit is not good, but it is not easy to correct!
Fourth, some elderly people are just annoying, and they can't see what you do, and they don't care if it's wrong. As the saying goes, old children and young children can get a little bit of it, who hasn't got an old day? Who knows what we'll be like when we're old?
Clause. Fifth, they have gone through more than half of the course of life, the different stages of life have a deeper understanding and reflection than the younger generations, they are always accustomed to imparting their own experience to the younger generations, in order to ensure that the back can take fewer detours, or hope to get the admiration and worship of the younger generations.
Clause. Sixth, when the elderly see young people, make their own mistakes, and take their own detours, they will guide and educate. Of course, not all older people will do this.
No matter in life, in work. I am fortunate to meet older people to educate myself and learn from experiences that are useful to me. It will help a lot.
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Traditionally, this can be analyzed from two perspectives: physiological and psychological
One is the physiological level:
1. First of all, there is a saying that educating people makes people happy. The reason is that the educational process can cause people to secrete dopamine, provided that dopamine is recognized as a happy substance, but this claim has obviously been refuted by many parties and is not very scientific. At least the dopamine argument doesn't stand up to scrutiny.
2. Educating people is an instinctive response of physiological continuity. In fact, there is some truth in this statement, the continuity of living things is actually the animal instinct of human beings. From ancient times to the present, especially in ancient times, in order to ensure the continuation of the population, educating future generations has become an almost instinctive consciousness, and this responsibility often naturally falls on the older generation with some experience in production and hunting.
The second is the psychological level (this should be the most important).
1. The older generation thinks that it is their responsibility to educate the younger generations. Therefore, they will think that it is a dereliction of duty not to pass on the knowledge and experience they know to their juniors, so they will appear to be "good teachers".
2. Education also enables the older generation to gain a possible sense of achievement. By educating the younger generation, the older generation gains a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment after the younger generation avoids suffering losses or achieves certain achievements again and again. The common phenomenon of child comparison is to some extent the embodiment of this psychology, in other words, it can also be called vanity.
3. Educating the younger generations is a kind of self-salvation and self-improvement. The older generation has accumulated certain lessons and lessons, and hopes that young people will not make mistakes in the same thing and suffer losses, and also hope that the younger generations will accelerate their success and avoid detours.
4. Educate the younger generations to reflect their own identity. Some people in the older generation are influenced by certain ideologies and concepts, and will use education to brush up their sense of existence and gain control at the same time.
5. Educating younger generations can also be a manifestation of what adults think of as love. Education is a social activity that consciously cultivates people, among which family education and school education are basically the education of the older generation to the younger generation, whether it is parents to children or teachers to students, it is essentially a manifestation of love.
So don't always think that the nagging of the old man is an unbearable thing, sometimes empathize with it, although it does bring some kind of pressure, but at the same time, it is also necessary to realize that most of the content and circumstances in it are one of the key elements of human survival.
No, this kind of person harms others and himself!
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