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The relationship between husband and wife must quarrel, and if you want to hurt your feelings, how can you not have any feelings? So only if you don't break it, you shouldn't be able to scold, right?
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It is said that a quarrel between husband and wife hurts feelings, but it is the cold war between husband and wife that hurts the relationship between husband and wife, not quarrels. Indifference to those closest to you, choosing and ignoring each other, not communicating with each other, is a psychological tactic. Perhaps those who chose the Cold War were reluctant to argue, but without communication, communication could not be achieved and difficulties could not be solved.
The differences and difficulties that led to the cold war between husband and wife remain, and the long-term cold war consumes each other's care and affection.
The most terrifying thing about husband and wife quarrels is the cold war, and the most terrible thing about husband and wife quarrels is the cold war.
Frankly, a lover is the closest person in your daily life.
If you and your roommate become more and more aloof, or if you don't remember the last time you had dinner with your boyfriend and hung out together, the two people in the marriage have actually become the most familiar strangers.
Such a married life is more terrible than arguing all day long. Because of this situation, the two have lost the courage to quarrel. Not even friends, close friends. That kind of relationship between husband and wife is very scary.
In marriage, what is more terrible than quarrels is cold implied warfare. The psychological tactics of the Cold War are nerve-wracking and helpless. In addition, this is also a war of attrition for the mental and physical of Yiliang and the brigade, and it is also a war of emotional distance between husband and wife.
Its main drawbacks are fatigue and lack of confidence. The key to the Cold War was the difference in temperament and mutual understanding between husband and wife.
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Couple quarrels can be alleviated in several ways:
1. No matter who is right or wrong, apologize for the attitude first. If you want to reconcile after a quarrel, what you have to do is not to admit your mistakes directly, but to put aside the matter itself first, and admit your mistakes with the attitude of quarreling.
2. Both sides are calm and emotional. One of the main reasons why it is difficult to calm down immediately after anger is that when we are angry, our body secretes some corresponding hormones, such as adrenaline, which makes our body feel angry. So after a fight, we often need to calm down to avoid another gaffe.
3. Understand the root cause of the quarrel. It is normal for husband and wife to quarrel with each other, and if you want to live in harmony as a couple, you must avoid collisions, and if there is a conflict, you must look for the source of the dispute. If you deal with it well as soon as you get mutual understanding and trust, there will be no major problems.
4. Re-establish friendly relations through some rituals. Depending on the subject, such a ritual can be a hug, or a reconfession, or a handshake and a smile. Although Wang Chunran's ceremony is inconspicuous, it is important because it marks that the two can return to the same relationship as before.
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There are sweet bitterness, pleasure and pain, entanglement and quarrels in marriage. Quarrels between couples are common. When the family is in financial difficulties, when their own career is in difficulty, and when their children's academic performance regresses, the other party's simple words will become the fuse and cause a war between husband and wife.
Since it is inevitable for couples to quarrel, what we can do is to avoid it as much as possible. Quarrels are a big taboo in marriage. If the quarrel hurts the spirit, the blood pressure will rise, and it is easy to induce cardiovascular disease.
Quarrels may hurt feelings, and when arguing, they will desperately expose each other's details, say all kinds of ugly things, and even hurt each other with bad words, all of which can seriously hurt the feelings of husband and wife. Therefore, try to avoid quarrels.
On the contrary, the other person should observe the words, comfort the other person, get the other person out of the trough, and if there is anything, talk about it later. Avoid unwittingly annoying the other person. When the other person is in a bad mood, avoiding adding fuel to the fire can effectively avoid quarrels.
If you find something wrong, take the initiative and be honest, and the other party will forgive you. This kind of behavior is the most likely to cause contradictions. If He Qiao makes a mistake but does not admit his illegitimacy, or even blames the mistake on others, the other party will not give up.
In many families, androcentrism prevails, and they always think that they are right, can this convince the wife? In an equal and free family atmosphere, if the couple encounters something and negotiates on an equal footing, the likelihood of a quarrel is much lower.
Quarrels, blushing, complaining to each other, exposing each other, after a leak, when no one pays attention, something goes wrong, and a series of inconveniences arise one after another. At this time, whoever breaks the deadlock, who lowers this head first, and when to decide when this struggle will end. The average woman has a strong self-esteem and will not bow her head easily.
At this time, it is more appropriate for the husband to bow his head aggrievedly and take the initiative to coax his wife. Of course, an angry wife is not easy to coax. This requires the patience and gentleness of the husband.
After the golden stone is carefully opened, the wife will be in a better mood because of her husband's efforts. The quarrel is over. If both parties can't take care of their children and no one bows their heads, the quarrel may develop into a long-term cold war, which can be very harmful to the marriage.
As the saying goes: "Husband and wife quarrel, quarrel in front of the bed, end of the bed", and: "Husband and wife have no violence and no resentment overnight", it is too fierce to say, and after a warm time, it will be reconciled as before.
Therefore, there is no fear of quarrels. What I was afraid of was to fight a cold war and sleep in separate beds. At this point, the chances of reconciling with the end of the bed are reduced.
Many people believe that love will be eternal, so they don't care about the minutiae of life, they usually don't care about the cultivation of love, and they unconsciously find out how the relationship is destroyed, and the two sides pile up from disappointment to despair, and when the contradiction finally breaks out completely, we find that the relationship is so fragile, so fragile. If we don't pay attention, we will be completely defeated. Therefore, if you are stressed in your daily life, you can't live with negative emotions.
For the recent TA, even if the TA has done something wrong, it can't say bad things. On the road of life, everyone carries a heavy burden on their backs. Life is not easy.
And cherish, be more tolerant, understand more, and quarrel less.
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After the husband and wife quarrel, they should give each other a step, you can find a more interesting topic, discuss and exchange, and slowly forget about this quarrel, and you can also sit together and communicate, admit your mistakes together, reflect on your own shortcomings, and ensure that you will correct them next time, and will not do it again, you can also choose to go to a place where you usually want to go but there is no time to go to the slag, two people relax together, open their hearts, communicate seriously and frankly, and solve the misunderstanding and trouble. In this way, it will not affect each other's feelings.
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The two sides understand their own problems, don't blame each other, first show their attitude, and then shake hands and make peace, and agree that the same thing will not happen in the future.
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It should be reconciled on the same day, everything should be explained clearly, and then both parties will say that it will not be like this again in the future, so that it will not hurt the feelings, and the next day it will return to the past.
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Two people can communicate with each other, and then two people can say everything they want to say so that it doesn't hurt feelings.
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You can take turns to bow your head, so that it will not hurt your feelings, and it can also make both people very face-saving.
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You can take the initiative to apologize to each other, so that two people can reconcile, and the relationship between two people will get better and better.
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1. Get along honestly Love is a kind of force that makes people work hard, and the husband and wife are first of all a kind of harmony between the thoughts and feelings of both parties, and a kind of mutual compensation in psychological activities, so that both parties can produce a warm and coordinated healthy psychology. Therefore, it is more pleasing for husbands and wives to be honest with each other, to respect and love each other, and to take care of each other than to give gifts.
2. Communicate frequently Husbands and wives should often sit down to exchange opinions, communicate ideas, and pour out the joyful feasts and hardships in their hearts. Especially in times of adversity, what you need most is the comfort of your loved ones. A word of sympathy and an encouraging look will reduce the psychological pressure of the other party, enhance the confidence and strength to overcome difficulties, and truly see the truth in the midst of adversity.
3. Respect each other's personality traits A couple, even if they are childhood sweethearts, still have their own personality traits. Some husbands are active and have been wandering outside for many years, and they can't stay at home. And the wife is quiet and has a narrow social surface, and hopes that her husband will be at home with her all day long.
Every time the husband returns, the wife is unhappy, and sometimes she is a little petty, and if the husband can't stand it, there may be a quarrel. An empathetic wife or husband should respect the personality of the other person, do not impose her will on the other person, and reserve a certain amount of freedom for the other person to allow the other person to have their own social circle. In this way, marriage is not a kind of confinement, but not only to give full play to their individual characteristics, but also to be a warm home for mutual attachment.
4. Learn to be patient Husbands and wives must learn to be patient, Chekov said: "The most important thing in married life is patience." "When the other person throws a tantrum or sends a provocative signal, it is best to adopt the method of patience and avoidance, or put yourself in the position of understanding the cause of it, to help relief, rather than being influenced by the other person's emotions and putting yourself in a bad emotional state.
5. Take the initiative to undertake housework After getting married, there are major matters that need to be negotiated together, but more often are the daily chores of firewood, rice, oil and salt. The equal interaction between husband and wife is manifested in the joint sharing of housework, and taking the initiative to undertake a part of the housework is a concrete manifestation of the husband's love for his wife and the wife's consideration for her husband. If you need the other person's help, it's best to replace the commanding "you do it" with a friendly "help".
6. Influence the other party Use your own warmth to make the other party get probation. For example, on a rainy day, the husband takes the initiative to take an umbrella to meet his wife at the station; The husband reads or writes at night under the lamp, and the wife quietly brings a cup of hot tea and hot milk. This kind of practice of enhancing feelings often makes the other party resentful.
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Husband and wife quarrel don't want to leave a shadow, or less quarrel, in fact, most of the quarrels are a little bit of rotten and trivial trembling scum, let's understand each other.
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I feel that the bedside quarrel and the end of the bed, whether it is a couple or a husband and wife, it is also a normal work, the two do not have confrontation and quarrel in the days is abnormal, but how to negotiate immediately after the quarrel is important, at this time you can calm down first and think about it, cold violence should avoid confrontation sharp, generally to speak less, it is best to keep silent, in case the entrance and exit promote further promotion. During this period, both of them are right, and each other's emotions are very dexterous, once cynicism is very simple, it becomes a big mistake.
Men and women quarrel and oppose each other, in the contention link, the private information of the previous unpleasant things must not be mentioned, men are not very fond of women talking about these love histories of men in the past, the same women are like this, once men and women fight when the opposition is added, this will inevitably be more difficult to end. To avoid this problem, there should be a "rule" between the two men, and it is agreed that the main reasons for the last quarrel will not be mentioned between the two men, so that it will undoubtedly be good for both of them.
After a quarrel, if the two feel annoyed or hateful, choose a quiet time to confide in the reassuring person, and maybe immediately communicate with the lover calmly. After all, the confrontation must be sorted out and resolved, the relationship between the two people who have been hoarding misunderstandings and dislikes for a long time should inevitably not be a good partner contact, just learn to let go of each other's arrogance, no matter what the attack, it is a good thing to be able to communicate quietly.
When men and women are opposed, they will affect their minds because of the other party, and the transportation of opinions is the easiest way to deal with it, and it is also the most effective way. Regarding the relationship between the two people who have been working hard for a long time, the happiness you have together is the most important, which is also the beauty of your experience together, these are the points of view between you, if you want to keep this marriage for a long time, let the married life be permanently refrigerated, you must be able to transport the point of view, thinking of the past episode of the total relaxed and happy work, the two smile relatively, but they will deal with any work.
Once a man and a woman quarrel may be opposed, don't say cruel words or throw away the words divorce and separation, both sides should calm down and think about it, think about right and wrong, once you say this kind of thing, it will only make the recovery of the emotional seizure change, and the mood of preparing for harmony suddenly becomes very bad, and after having one time, there will be a second time, which can only make the contact between the two worse and worse. Therefore, after a quarrel, couples must go to great lengths to alleviate this kind of atmosphere.
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Don't expose your shortcomings, don't hit someone, don't scold each other's parents, don't have a long cold war, and don't always talk about each other's faults.
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Two people can't quarrel overnight, if there is any problem, solve it on the same day, don't say anything too hurtful, don't say divorce.
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You must abide by the principle of not hurting each other or not saying cruel things, and two people should not always say that they broke up.
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1. What kind of quarrel method hurts the feelings of husband and wife the most?
1. Blame each other.
In the midst of the quarrel, many people still have the idea that as long as I point out your mistake, it is your mistake, then I am right. "What about me, you came back so late last night and disturbed my sleep, I didn't have a good rest, what about me, the dishes you have made lately are very salty, how much alcohol do you drink every day", various bars.
In any case, it is particularly critical of the other party's mistakes and trying to cover up their own affairs.
2. Constant catharsis.
Some couples are like that. You immediately touch his sensitive nerves, but he ignores your feelings. He doesn't care what you say, whether you listen or not.
Anyway, he was there all the time complaining "how miserable I am, do you know how tired I am every day?" He was venting his anger and frustration.
2. How to solve it?
1. Pay attention to the tone.
Speak softly, your words hurt feelings. For example, if you're busy in the kitchen, you will find your husband playing games and you are angry. If you run over and say "you know you're playing a game, you're not doing your job" you're venting your emotions, but you can say it gently.
You say, "Won the game again, it's amazing, but now your wife is in trouble, I really can't wash this fish and come to help me". Basically, if you say that, the other person might help you, which is better than "Didn't you see I'm busy?"
This sentence is much better.
2. Must learn to express core needs.
Just like in the example, when you're in the kitchen, when you have a problem, you might come to him. For example, this fish, you can't kill or clean it, so you can express this. You say:
Husband, I know you're doing something else, but I've been getting this fish for a long time. Please help me" You have to express your innermost needs. Let me give you another example.
If you are thirsty and want your husband to pour you a glass of water, if you say, "Look, I haven't drunk water all morning, don't you know I'm thirsty?" Then the other person may tell you: "I don't know".
At this time, you can tell him: "My husband, I'm thirsty, pour me a glass of water", show your charm, hope that he will help you, that's all.
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