What jokes make you laugh out of your abs?

Share a few jokes that make a pig cry at a glance.

1.One day, there was a group of old men downstairs in our house playing chess, and I also leaned over to watch it for a while. Then I said to the old man next to me, uncle, your che is gone, so the uncle said to me with disdain, what do you know, child, this is called ju.

After that, I watched them quietly for two hours, and the uncle got up and prepared to go home. At this time, his car was gone, so I said, "Uncle, your self-ju, was ridden away two hours earlier."

2.Is it rare to see Xiao Ming in high school math? I knew that idiot wouldn't make it to high school.

3.Let's talk about one that I saw a long time ago. One day the troops were conducting a real combat exercise, this time using artillery, but the people in the unit accidentally missed it, so the commander sent him to check on the situation.

The trainee followed the direction and found a farmer standing in the vegetable field, his face black, his mouth spitting white cigarettes, and his hair was curled in rolls. I saw the peasant with a face full of grievances and said, "I'll just steal a cabbage, as for shelling?" ”

4.This is my own, a story about my stupid boyfriend. Once I took him to buy an aunt's towel together and asked him to help find it together, he was not happy and said, there are so many aunt towels, I don't understand, how to choose?!

Then he had a flash of inspiration and said, I see! Buy expensive! Which is the most expensive to buy!

Then he really used the ** label on the shelf to remove the number of aunt towels on the packaging bag, and then he figured out which single piece was the most expensive and bought it for me. (In the end, he found out that there was a series of free points that was the most expensive, 15 pieces of 5 pieces was still a little more expensive, a little more expensive than Sophie, so he asked me to buy this, I didn't dare to buy it because I hadn't used it, he said I don't know how to be nice to myself, use those bargains, I: .......)

When I was a child, I thought that fish could grow naturally from the water, so after I found a pond with many fish with my friends, I often took a basin and a net to catch fish there. Then one day when we were returning with a full load, we met an uncle on the road, and the uncle asked us about the fish we caught from **, so I told him, and asked him not to tell others, otherwise there would be no fish in that place. Later, I learned that the uncle was the owner of the fish pond, and I also knew that the fish were not naturally generated, so I felt very sorry for the uncle.

Then, I did something that still makes me feel funny and guilty, and in order to make up for my mistake of going to his place to catch his fish, I began to quietly put other creatures I caught elsewhere in his fish pond, and then I once fished out a pot of tadpoles and put them in. And put in one of the turtles I caught... After that, I listened to the uncle say to others:

How can there be frogs in my pond that lay so many eggs? "。。。

In addition to that, there are many, many jokes that feel like I can make my abs laugh, and there are so many that I won't give examples of them all. These jokes have accompanied me growing up and added a lot of fun to my life.

Once upon a time, there was a ghost who was very scary, and then it scared itself to death, this one was very cold, but my laughter was so low.

Physical, relief, relief, hello, scared, hurt, lol's coming, 3 degrees of consideration, consider 6 groups of demons.

I maybe, the whole person is the biggest joke hahahahahahaha

<> "Laughter is a sentence that springs out of the abdominal muscles."

Do you have a brief history of time? "What are you doing with that thing?" ”

Why do law students want to become lawyers after graduation, but can't they become lawyers? Sun trembling.

A small crab's claws broke and said, "I have no pincers."

I used to look like this o o, but then I was punched and became like this 0 o I am a prophet, and I checked your identity last night, and you are, my son.

Two little bees flew among the flowers, and the one that flew high said to the one that flew low, you low bee I quietly let out a fart, hoping that the wind would blow it into your mouth.

But I'm afraid you won't be able to receive my heart, so I'm farting.

<> when laughing, the human body will activate 53 muscles, and reduce the level of "cortisol", so that you can both ** and gain muscle, theoretically speaking, a middle-aged fat uncle wants to laugh into Peng Yuyan, you need to laugh for hours in a row.

According to the instructions of the project construction headquarters, I went to Xianbei to inspect a village road that was damaged due to the construction of the project, and prepared to repair it on the edge of the big pond in Chuncheng. When we were counting the quantity of the project, our manager accompanied the leaders of the headquarters to inspect the site, when a dog barked nearby. The leader said earnestly

Be careful of the dogs here during construction so that they don't get bitten. "What's the matter, what's the matter", the manager is very confident. At this time, the person in charge of the construction team came over, and the manager joked, "Lao Fang, don't be bitten by a dog."

Well? Loss" The manager continued to add with a smile: "If you are bitten by a dog, you are not as good as a beast, and if you destroy the air and destroy the dog to death, .......""I am more than a beast.

The old party is very interesting. We were amused. "You're talking about me?

Our laughter was stopped by a questioning from the leader. I saw the leader pull up his trouser leg, and there were several tooth marks clearly printed on the calf of his right leg. "Oh, old leader, it's not that you're here, I don't know.

My wife was angry when she entered the house, husband: Wife, what's wrong with you? Who messed with you?

Wife: Nima, I bought a fake today, and I'm ...... angryHusband: Forget it, forget it, and you don't have much money, wife, don't be angry......Wife:

To put it lightly, how can you not be angry? You didn't buy a fake, of course, ......Husband: Who hasn't encountered a fake?

Wife: Have you bought it too? Husband:

How not? I wanted to see you at the beginning, that figure, what did you want, but as soon as you took off your wedding clothes, what about your breasts? Wife:

, Nima ......I took my son to the mall, I saw the Transformers, my son was arguing, I saw the price, I quickly took my son out, and I happened to see that there was also one on the stall, so I bought one for my son, and before I got home, there was a ......problemAs soon as the son arrives home, he puts metamorphosis gold.