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Having children is a right not an obligation, neither your mother nor your husband has the right to force you to have children to satisfy your desire to reproduce. You are all adults, and you are not at an age where you can't live without your parents, the trick of crying, making trouble, and hanging yourself is actually a threat to your filial piety, not that they will really do it to themselves, and you don't care about it, there is no pressure. Even if you want to have a child one day, I hope you can fully understand the risks of childbirth before you consider it, what "having a child to enhance immunity" and "having a child cures all diseases" are all fake, and having a child is really harmful to the body, and there are many sequelae.
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As an adult, the biggest difference from a child is that you will no longer feel aggrieved in the face of the requirements and pressure of your parents. I think you're talking to your mom about the little child you want her to understand and love, and this will complicate a simple problem and slowly produce a lot of results that you will regret in the future. Try to find a way to be patient with your mother and calm her worries and emotions, after all, if you can't deal with such things, there will be more and more acute problems in the future, what should you do then?
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I myself do not advocate being parents when I am not ready, we only have to be mentally prepared to meet the arrival of the little ones, the feeling of giving birth to life is very wonderful, although I am not married, but whenever I see the eyes of the people around me full of anticipation, I feel that this is a very beautiful thing, to be prepared, do not rush. The eyes of others may make you very uncomfortable, but you look at your partner's attitude, and irresponsibly say that having a child is a matter for the two of you, although it is about three families, but selfish fans, as parents, the future life still has to be borne by you.
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Giving birth to a child is your own business, after all, the little one is really growing in your belly, and no one will be able to replace you in the future, so take it easy, don't get entangled too much with other voices, what a wonderful time when you just got married, don't be sleepy or not, it's worth creating some happiness for yourself, right, and you can remember when you're unhappy in the future.
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The uterus is in your body, and the other party can't urge anything, so let the other party say, no need to argue, let the other party say vigorously, listen quietly, and continue to live your life... Unless you and your husband are dependent on the previous generation for life and finances.
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92 female, married for more than a year, my mother will also say let me have a child or something, and my aunts will urge, my husband and I don't want to be too early, but to my parents I said that I want to be next year, the year after tomorrow, so I am the third year after marriage to give birth to a baby, I already feel almost, I said to my family that the baby is a rat, and I and my husband are more compatible, see your family believe it or not, my body has always been anemia, so in order to be good for the baby in the future, I also want to have a baby after my own body is raised, so to speak, For the sake of the baby's good, the family should not be too urging.
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I would tell him why he didn't want to have a baby now because he wasn't prepared, whether it was material or otherwise, so as long as he communicated well, his parents could understand it.
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Now is not the time, the career has just started, and it is natural to consider it when it is stable, it is inevitable to have a child, and there is no rush for a while, it is still young, and it is not too late to be a few years late.
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Tell your parents what you really think and what you really have to do with your difficulties, and they will understand you, and what people need is communication.
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Whether to have a child or not really needs to be decided by the husband and wife, not to mention anything else, a high-quality pregnancy preparation period first requires the expectant mother to have a good physical and mental environment, right?
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My mother often asks me when I can hold my grandson, and every time I get home from work, I have to hurry up, and I tell her that it will take two years, because now I have to be busy with my own career, and only when my career is good, my children can grow better, and my mother will no longer say anything.
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I have to have a husband before I have a baby, I don't have a boyfriend yet, so I can't wait.
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Every time my parents urged me to have a baby, I said I wasn't ready and hoped they would give me a little more time.
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It's normal to urge me to have a child, but have you ever thought about whether I have the financial means to raise a child?
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Dink is celibate and free.
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Whether or not to have children is something that needs to be carefully considered, not something that should or should not be done. If you are not ready to have a baby, it is inevitable that you will feel in a hurry, which is not good for the mother's mood during pregnancy and the birth and growth of the baby. In the face of parents' "giving birth to a baby", you can do more empathy and communicate and coordinate with your parents.
First of all, we don't want to wronged ourselves for having a child early, nor do we want to have unnecessary disputes with our parents, so we need to empathize more at this time. Parents may be about to retire from work, their children are married, their careers have been stable, in their parents' opinion, they should have a baby step by step, they think that all the conditions are ready, some parents feel that they can still help with the child, and if they get pregnant at an older age, it may be very risky for the mother, etc.
From your own point of view, you may feel that the time to have a child is not ripe for various reasons, such as an unstable job, income, not adapting to married life, not being psychologically prepared to have a baby, worrying that you will not be able to raise a child in the future, etc., these may be the reasons why newlyweds do not want children. Because everyone's situation is different, we should take the initiative to communicate with parents to understand the reasons why parents want to have a baby, rather than parents refusing to reject and not giving parents a chance to speak as soon as they mention having a child.
Then, after understanding the parents' thoughts, we can have targeted conversations with the parents and use some communication skills.
First express your understanding of your parents' thoughts, so that parents can listen to your own words, and then state the reasons why you don't want to have children, for what considerations, if you want children now, what kind of problems may exist, and see if it is possible to get some solutions to the problems through discussion, so that parents can rest assured and believe that parents will understand their children.
Taking a step back, even if you don't have a reason to say, you don't need a solution, you just don't want to have children, so you can talk more about your parents and talk about what happened when your parents had children, which can also give you a lot of insights and may help you.
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Let's change the topic as much as possible, or don't speak.
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I usually talk to them about the current housing prices and prices, and tell them that it is too difficult to have children now.
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I usually pretend I don't hear and pretend that I have something else to do and run away as soon as possible, otherwise you're bound to be pestered by these people, and you're going to be very upset.
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1.Procreation is a right, not an obligation.
It is entirely up to us whether or not to exercise this right.
2.Childbearing is our own right, not our parents.
Parents have and have exercised their own reproductive rights, and so our parents have given birth to us.
3.The decision not to have children has been carefully considered and agreed upon by both parties.
So my choice not to have children is exactly the same as his choice not to have children.
In the hearts of both parties, there is no such thing as not having children who listens to whom.
The following personal experience is based on the consensus of both parties on the above three points.
1.When we were asked by our parents about our family plans after marriage, they directly said that they had discussed whether to have children.
Whether my parents understood or not, what attitude or opinion I had no effect on either of us.
Dingchen filial piety is to take the initiative to reduce contacts when their expectations are too high, so as not to let this trivial matter that has nothing to do with them block the two sides.
2.Whoever is the parent will be the one who will speak.
Face my parents, it's up to me to say:
I decided not to have children, and he did as I pleased.
In the face of his parents, it is up to him to say:
He decided not to have children, and I did what he wanted.
This is a necessary strategy when facing parents.
Never take the anger of your parents out on your spouse over childbearing.
Never let a parent have.
My girl (son) must have wanted to have children, but the scattered brother was spoiled by the other party! Thoughts.
3.If you feel that you can't withstand the pressure of your parents, then just give birth!!
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As a Dink, there may be some pressures and challenges when facing parents. Here are some suggestions to help you better cope with this situation:
1.Communication: Maintain open, honest communication with parents. Tell them what you think, why, and what you have plans for the future. Understand their concerns and expectations, and try to find a mutually acceptable solution.
2.Listen patiently: When communicating with parents, give them enough time to express their opinions and concerns. Try to understand their position and show care and respect.
3.Stay Independent: As a Dink, you need to be independent financially and in your life. This way, you can feel more confident in the face of parental pressure.
4.Set boundaries: On certain issues, be clear about your position and set boundaries. Let parents know what is acceptable to you and what you can't compromise.
5.Distract from your parents' concerns as much as possible. Try introducing them to new activities, hobbies, or supporting their social lives.
6.Step-by-step explanation: If your parents can't accept your decision right away, try to explain your thoughts and reasons step by step. Over time, they may gradually come to understand and accept it.
7.Encourage parents to focus on their lives: Parents are encouraged to focus on their hobbies, social life, and health. Let them know that you will always care about and support them, but that your lifestyle and choices are just as important.
8.Maintain balance: Maintain your mental balance in the face of parental pressure. Seek out friends, counselors, or other support resources to help you cope with these stresses.
Finally, keep in mind that every family and individual situation is different. You may need to adjust the above recommendations to suit your actual situation. Most importantly, be honest, respectful, and caring, and try to find a mutually acceptable solution.
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1.Respect their values: Parents grew up in environments and experiences that were often different from ours.
Therefore, we should evaluate and respect their views and beliefs. Understand your parents' views on life experiences and choices and show them peacefully instead of trying to persuade or argue.
2.Express your feelings: Tell parents why you didn't want to have children and explain your views and goals so that parents understand where you stand.
Maybe they will worry about the continuation of the family, social identity, etc., but you have to be frank and tell them that you don't want to have children and look for calm, concrete ways to communicate.
3.Seek support: You can seek support from other friends or professional counsellors who have already made similar choices and decisions. You can ask them for advice on how to form a better communication and understanding relationship with your parents.
4.Respect your parents' decisions: If your parents can't understand your views and choices, then do your best to get them on the same page. At the same time, Brother Slim Cong is frank, but refrains from arguing or attacking the other party, and provides some time to find a suitable solution to the attack.
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If you meet relatives of the older generation to give birth, it will not work to reason with them, because they often use some feminine things to cooperate with excessive birth measures. Since people are writing and holding the family women's virtues to talk about things, then we will use "everything is up to my husband, and my husband will give birth to a few" to scare back.
Having a child is a matter for two husband and wife, and you can't let all the pressure be on one person. Do your homework with your husband in advance, and since you don't want to have children, then tell your husband how to respond. "Not being good at words" is never an excuse, and maintaining the peace of the small family is the most important thing.
Realistic version: "It's not that I don't want to give birth, the key is that I don't have money".
No matter how much relatives and friends say, no matter how much pressure they put on, people just move their mouths. In the end, it is you who take care of the children and bear the pressure, no one will help you raise them, only the husband and wife independently support this small family.
So when faced with others giving birth to children, you might as well throw out a realistic problem - no money. The specific words can be said like this: "Alas, it's not that I don't want to give birth, the key is that I don't have money, Jinghan, or do you pay for it?"
Sanqing", people will definitely not pay, so naturally they won't say anything.
Yang Feng Yin violated the version: "Uh-huh, you're right".
No matter what others say, whether it is born out of patriarchal preference or not, first use "Mmmm, you are right" to do it, that is, on the surface sincere or grinning to agree, stretch out your hand and not hit the smiling person This is the truth.
It generally doesn't make sense to reason with the previous generation, after all, it will overwhelm you in terms of seniority. Then he announced that the couple had begun to prepare for pregnancy, and were taking vitamins, exercising regularly, reading parenting books, ......People want to say don't prepare, hurry up and give birth, and directly reply, "How can you not pay attention to these when you have a child?" What should I do if I don't prepare for pregnancy well and my baby is not smart? ”
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